<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

Tifu, I bought my first bottle of wine since I'm celebrating finishing college and wanted to upgrade from my usual boxed variety or beer. Unfortunately, I have never used a corkscrew and only managed to remove the cork half-way. Instead of re-trying the corkscrew, I decided to try to pry out the cork using a knitting-needle. When that didn't work, and, in fact, I only succeeded in breaking off the protruding part of the cork, I had another burst of inspiration: If I couldn't pry the cork OUT, why couldn't I just push it IN? So, I flipped around the knitting-needle and pushed...with a loud CHUNK and a splash of wine in my face, the bottle was open! When I filled my glass, however, the glow of my success faded: the wine was filled with particles of cork. Gross! So, I don't know how to open a bottle of wine, and I wasted my money, time, and energy, and I didn't even get the fruits of my labor. C'est la vie...
<bot>: I can't use a corkscrew, ended up pushing the cork into the bottle of wine, and then couldn't drink it because of the bits of cork floating about.