<human>: Years ago my wife had cancer and I had no one to talk to about it.  I was bottling up my emotions inside until I finally can't hold it anymore and I emailed my cousin(female) about it.  My wife found out and she was furious.  She was hurt because I didn't talk to her instead.  I explained that I couldn't talk to her because she was having cancer and I didn't think I should burden her with my emotions especially since she probably has a lot in her mind.  Anyway, I apologized for making her feel sad that I didn't consult her and promised not to contact my cousin anymore.

Fast forward 5 years.  Two weeks ago my wife had surgery, nothing to do with cancer.  Wasn't life threatening.  I found out that she felt scared about the surgery and she consulted her feelings with a stranger she meet online.  She apologized to me last night and said it was the same as when I consulted my cousin.

My thoughts on this.  I couldn't consult my wife because she is having cancer and I couldn't further burden her with my emotions.  The latest surgery is different.  Although not life threatening I know it's still scary.  I'm hurt because she didn't consult me.  I am not the one having the surgery therefore I am free to listen to her worries.  Yet she chose a stranger over me.  

Is she right that it's the same thing?

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: I shared my emotions with a someone else but my wife during hard times and my wife did the same thing.  I don't think it's the same, but my wife thinks so.  Who's right?