<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

Today it finally clicked, that in her eyes I'm not a friend, but her pretend ex-boyfriend. She called me sweetheart at one point and explained that that is what she calls all her girlfriends, which I'm fine with, but then I overhear her talking to her actual ex-boyfriend and that's what she calls him too. Later she also called me his actual name.

Another time we were drinking together before a nights out and we got a little wasted, and she suddenly wants me to show me mine and she would show me hers. I kept asking her why and the only answer I could get was "to see what she was working with". Confused the hell out of me, and she kept pushing really hard so we did it anyway. There was nothing sexual about it, and she began to cry, saying she didn't think she looked good naked. To be fair she did and I comforted her, saying it wasn't true. Then we went into town to party. To be fair, both times we were really drunk, but I have never called her anything but her name, or demanded to see her naked.

I think this is my own fault. After she broke up with her boyfriend she wanted to talk all the time about how much of a dick he was. I obliged since this was usually after we had worked out together and who am I to turn down a friend. That's another important thing to mention. I am terrible at making friends to the point where she is my first real friend. I can't say no to her for the fear of losing her. She makes it so much easier for me to have a good time with other people and without her I feel lonely (platonically speaking) as hell.

I love spending time with her, she's funny and we got a bunch of stuff in common. Now I fear I never actually had a friend, but just someone she could blurt all this stuff out to, and someone to accompany her where she went.

I think, to her, I'm not her friend, but a thing she uses whenever she needs it, and it really hurts.

Thanks for listening, now where did I leave my rum and coke.
<bot>: Thought we were good friends, but in reality she sees me as a pretend ex-boyfriend, calls me names she only uses to her actual ex-boyfriend.