<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

So, two weeks ago I [22f] broke up with my boyfriend [22m] of 1 1/2 years. There were a good chunk of reasons, including him being unable to control his anger and not being able to have adult conversations without getting upset. It was to the point where I was jumping through hoops to make him happy every time I sensed he was upset. And yes, he had hit me a few times before, but not hard enough to leave any bruises. I was left with a lot of issues with trust and intimacy, trashed self esteem and self respect, and more bad habits.

Knowing all this, looking back, I know I couldn't be with him forever. I begged and pleaded with him to get help, as soon enough I had to go through my ultimatum of him getting help or me leaving. So I broke up with. And originally, even though I wasn't happy, I wasn't completely destroyed either. It was a mixed feeling of sadness and relief, which strangely feels like being sick. I was also upset because someone I cared for so much, someone that I had loved, didn't love me enough to get help for the both of us. 

We have kept the no contact rule up, but today I saw him while I was out and about. And everything came rushing back, all the good times, the new hobbies we had picked up from dating each other, knowing someone like the back of my hand.

I don't understand. After all the crap he had put me through, I would think that the first thing to come would be that anger towards him, the fact he left me with horrible habits and destroyed self esteem. I didn't expect to feel the wanting I had with him before.

Has anyone gone through an abusive relationship and still had issues getting over that person? How did you get through it?
<bot>: Saw my abusive ex for the first time in 2 weeks, felt love and desire instead of anger. How do I handle this?