<human>: Provide a brief overview of the text.

I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me a year ago and confronted him. There was a long series of irrational behavior and anger, mainly on my end. My feelings kept alternating between hating him and blaming everything on him and sympathizing with him and feeling love for him. There were multiple instances of no-contact, including a time that was specifically my request. I actually felt in control and happy when I was able to resist contacting him and ignoring him when he contacted me. When we did come into contact again, all these emotions came flooding back. I know we could never be together again, but I still have feelings for him. We are trying to be friends. I act like everything is okay between us, but I'm still heartbroken over the entire affair. I've seen/read too much about his other relationship. He doesn't suspect much about my true feelings. In fact, he thinks I'm doing great. He's still super caring towards me. But, I know he's still friends with the girl he cheated on me with, and it upsets me. I'm still jealous and disappointed. He said he wants to reveal everything about that to me, but I don't think I can handle it. I wonder if he's like that towards her, but I'm too afraid to ask. I don't even know if I want to know anything about him and her.

Sometimes I think he's just nice to me still because of the guilt. I know he is genuinely a good person, and I still love him. I don't know what to do. It's eating me up inside. Should I talk to him about it or should I continue lying and pretending everything is normal?
<bot>: I forgave my ex-boyfriend for cheating on me, and we're still trying to be friends. I still have feelings for him, but I don't want to destroy the friendship we have now.