<human>: I'm not posting this here so everyone can tell me how much of an idiot I am. I had figured that part out myself. 

Well, no great story starts with someone being sober. I went drinking with a couple of my friends and had a little too much to drink. 

So after leaving the bar, the douchiest of my group suggested we treat ourselves to some nice lady. Now I'm a little shit faced and it sounds good. I agreed. 

We got into a cab and down we went to the local red light district. I got myself a 9/10 (maybe just a 4 when I'm sober) and got down to business. We got along really well. Exchanging some saliva on the bed butt-naked when little Rayquaza got a little excited. I figured since the lady and I got along so well, we could do away with the latex. If there's something you should know about being this drunk, it's that the mind-speech filter goes offline. I asked, she agreed. And into the unknown my little Rayquaza went. 

It probably wasn't a good idea, but trust me it was at that time. 

After we were done with the deed, I sat there taking in what I've done. Then everything hits me like I'm Rihanna. I just had unprotected intercourse with a prostitute. I felt sick, really sick (could be the alcohol but I felt disgusted by my action).

Now I'm home being worried as fuck as I'm typing this.

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Had a little too much to drink and thought that it's a good idea to share some bodily fluids with a hooker.