<human>: So I love my boyfriend. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Which is why I am in turmoil. I really want to get married, or at least engaged very soon but it just doesn't seem like its going to happen. I don't know why I make myself crazy about wanting to be engaged, in fact, I really hate this side of myself, but the urge is so strong. Every day I keep hoping and keep getting disappointed and it really hurts every time I see someone else has gotten engaged. 

We had a discussion about it before, it was positive enough, but he had no idea of time line. I also worry now that I am pressuring him but on the other hand he knows how much it means to me and he still hasn't done it so its driving me mad. I want to to have another discussion but I don't want to add strain to the relationship or drive him away but at the same time it is killing me to keep it all inside.

Despite myself, I guess I've found out that this is really important to me and I am having serious thoughts of breaking up. I love him so much and I know it sounds crazy to walk out on the best thing in my life, but I suppose I have to try find some one who can give me everything I need? I don't want a proposal from someone who feels forced into it, I feel like if he loves me he'll want to do it. We are coming up on four years together now. 

I guess I just want to know peoples opinions (nice ones please). This is not something I am taking lightly. It had been tormenting me for almost a year. I feel crazy and just want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and what they did. And is there any way to make my dumb brain  just relax and be in love without being engaged?

Can you provide a brief overview of the text?
<bot>: Really want to get married. Bf doesn't want tobsoon. Feel crazy/stupid for even considering breaking up. But both options (no proposal/breaking up) will break my heart. Need advice.