<human>: For some reason I decided to shave my pubes.so I'm in the bath and Im shaving down there,all is well until I get to the much hated 'gooch'.i begin weighing the possibilities-will I cut myself? Or will it be fine? 

Well it wasn't fine,I cut myself;really badly,some skin was hanging off and it was extremely painful.minutes later the bleeding has somewhat stopped so I turn my thoughts towards my new dilemma,I was surrounded by blood and pubes,they were just floating around me and I had no clue what to do.anybody else would have shaved with an idea of how to get rid of the mess but I didn't. My master plan came to fruition so I began to empty the bath,they didn't all go down easily,some had to be forced but soon the bath was empty,job done....or so I thought.

The next day the bath Is clogged ( I wonder why) and my dad has the pipes taken out from under the bath and Jesus christ-the smell is disgusting and it looks ten times worst. It looks like a soggy pile of old/fresh hair,dirt and...semen?i think. I'm the only one in the house so he knows exactly who caused this trouble.we have a man to man talk and all seems well until the freshly shaved pubes begin itching.why did I do it,I'm not even gonna get a bj soon anyway.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: shaved pubes,cut myself.ended up clogging bath,had pipes removed,their  filled with bodily fluids and hairs.awkaward man to man talk then pubes begin itching. Fml