<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

I don't even know where to begin, so I'm going to try and make it short in an attempt to not accidentally write a novel. I am in love with a girl for the first time, and she is in love with me. She is my thoughts every second, the only person my heart wants and the only person I know I will be able to be happy with as I currently am. I am her first serious boyfriend as well; we are both virgins. Trust is huge in our relationship, and I cherish hers more than most other things on this Earth. And I betrayed it. One afternoon our mutual friend (We'll call her F2) who we are both very close with and I have never been attracted to came over to play with my new dog. She came out to dinner with my family. We went out to the beach together at around 10 PM to talk about life. I brought up that stupid "nervous game" people played in middle school and how no one had ever made me nervous. She decided she was going to try.

 I let her. I fucking let her put her hands in my pants and give me a short hand job. I fucking let her. It was late, I hadn't seen my girlfriend in three weeks and we were seeing each other the next day, I was hormone ridden. I have not been able to forgive myself. I've been crying every night, I've been having nightmares non-stop i just can't fucking believe myself for betraying the trust of this beautiful soul who i can trust with every cell in my body and she trusts me yet i fucking... i don't know what to do, i can't sleep, i don't know who to talk to about it i want to tell her but i fucking *can't* i *can't* lose her i don't know why I'm coming here maybe in hopes someone can tell me what to do because i don't know what the hell to do with myself anymore, i don't want her to never be able to trust me again... I'm scared, can anyone, someone please offer me advice on what to do
<bot>: mutual friend of my girlfriend and i gave me short hand job. doesnt seem like much but we are each others' first serious relationships and we're both still virgins. I'm guilty beyond words and i don't know what to do