<human>: About a month ago I broke up with my SO of 1.5 years. We both agreed on it and even now we still talk, but it hurts like hell when I think back to the relationship. I decided to end it because I had grown more and more distant from him - almost every physical interaction we had was sexually loaded, and I'm just not comfortable at all with that. I'm pretty sure I fall somewhere on the asexual spectrum because about 97% of the time I'm just repulsed by the idea of sex, and when I did want it, I felt like I was getting his hopes up just to crush them again. We talked about this a lot of time and he never pressured me into anything, but I did always notice a slight disappointment when I was once again not in the mood. And I completely understand, but it's just so hard to not turn down any physical intimacy when you *know* what it's going to lead to and it's something you just don't want to do.

But I can't help feeling that breaking up was a mistake, because the rest of the relationship was wonderful, and I miss him like crazy. How are you even supposed to get over the end of such a long relationship? (It was my first, too.) I'm even thinking that I don't actually want to get over it. Right now I have a minor fling with someone else who I also really like but I keep thinking back to what I had and how I will probably never have that again. I just wish I didn't feel this way about sex, I don't even know or care where it comes from, I just want my mind to match my body because I do very much want it, yet I still always have these horrible feelings about it.

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: Broke up with boyfriend of 1.5 years because I can't have sex and felt like I was treating him unfairly and I'm feeling increasingly more shitty about the situation.