<human>: This actually happened about 30 minutes ago. So i'm drinking some soft drink (Schweppes Agrum for those that care) and i decide to multitask whilst drinking to save time (cause i don't have much of that do I?). This is when i have the brilliant idea to keeping breathing until the last possible moment before i would've drowned myself. 

I ended up having a bit of liquid get into my trachea, and then i FU hold back the cough for a second. Like the idiot i am, i kept pouring the drink into my mouth and all of a sudden my lungs let loose with the biggest cough i've ever made.

Because i'm sitting at my computer at the time, i close my mouth as quickly as possible and led to me engulfing my entire nose with fizzy liquid and launching the pink stuff all over my shirt and pants (insert jenny joke here).

My nose still hurts from that, and my throat is still throbbing.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Drinking soft drink, start choking, keep drinking, cough real hard, close mouth, liquid goes through my nose and all over clothes