<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

Hello Weddit! I'm recently engaged (yayyy!!!) but I'm having a little bit of trouble with putting together my bridal party-- namely, how to navigate "second engagement" waters with a changing bridal party.

I got engaged a few years ago, and while we called it off before getting married, I had already picked out my bridesmaids-- my sister, cousin, and two close friends--Kay, from high school, and Mary from college. It's a long story, but I found out after the fact that Mary and Kay hate each other and can't be in the same room together. I was super stressed about it, but then I ended my engagement I hadn't thought it since.

Now I'm engaged again, and I'm ready to put together my bridal party!!! Although my FH has changed, the ladies I want to stand up with me have not... but I have no idea what to do about Mary. I don't really want to ask her to be a bridesmaid, because Kay has been like a sister to me for 20 years, and I do NOT want drama or tension when the bridal party gets together. I'm worried that Mary will assume that she'll be asked and get really offended when she's not. What's the etiquette here? Is there one?
<bot>: I asked a friend to be a BM during my first engagement, but I don't want to ask her to be one this time around. What do?!