<human>: My bf of 4 years says that he loves & wants to marry me. I'm hesitant because when he gets angry, he calls me names like w****, an ugly b & even c***. He says that he calls me names because I anger him & has made him feel inadequate as a man. This is because we've been through a lot & I have always called him out on the things that he has done but denies he has done it or that they happened. I supported him through a coke addiction, depression & thought he'd have my back too but it didn't exactly work out this way. We used to fight a lot because of insecurities. He would talk about other women & my body if I didn't give him what he wanted or paid attention to him. I never argued back with him at first but I got tired & fought back in the same way he did but fighting isn't me & I stopped. It only made matters worse so I tried the rational approach. It worked but the fights continued because at times he was irrational & refused to take responsibility for his mistakes & put all the past blame on me. Some of the things he has done are so disrespectful that it's really hard to trust him again & believe that he will have my back. I'm trying hard because I love him. Another thing he does is bring up the past a lot! when I decided to move on with him, I forgave him for his infidelity & the anger. But he has brought them into our future & uses my imaginary past behavior as a manipulation tactic that isn't working.

Why do I love him? Because he is a strong man & gets things done. He has qualities that I want in a partner but the anger & the retaliation have got to go. He wants to marry me but I'm reluctant unless we go to therapy so that he can learn how to communicate without attacking.

Can you provide a brief overview of the text?
<bot>: Is this possible to learn/ change or is he is what he is? I would love to trust him again so that we can marry & be happy one day.