<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

Before I start, sorry in advance for wrong grammar.  I am my FIL care giver. Before his I was my MILs as well until she passed away of breast cancer last year.  Her death has mentally messed me up. As her care giver I had to clean her up after she lost all control of her bodily functions, see her go through chemo, radiation and multiple surgies. I even learned how to properly drain and care for a chest tube.

When she would be admitted into a hospital I would have to get my mom to babysit my 3 kids for days since I had to stay with her. Several times I had to sleep in the hospital room floor, I was the one who put her on the ventilator during her final days. 

All of this took a great toll on me mentally. I have nightmares of this time still. My sleeping habit is horrible. I fall asleep between 4-5 am, and have to get up around 7-8 am daily. I was hoping once she passed I could breathe easier and get a small break. Now my FIL health hasn't been the best. He has congestive heart failure, COPD, and now possibly Alzheimers. 

On top of FIL problems my youngest son has Ceberal palsy, and Epilepsy. He needs constant care and many out of state doctors.  From taking care of my kids, cleaning our home and taking care of animals plus my FIL Im emotionally and physically drained daily. Its getting harder to find any happy moments.

Everything has started to take a toll on my marriage. Were arguing more about everything. I love my husband very much, he wants to work on our marriage. I agree but feel like I need to work on my issues first. All the anxiety, stress, depression, loss of sleep ect. My husband got upset said I was being selfish, I didn't love him and thinks Im looking to replace him. I Am NOT wanting to replace him.

I have no friends and no time for therapy. But I feel if things get worse with FIL Im headed for a mental breakdown.
<bot>: Am I selfish for wanting to work on my issues first? How can I take the right steps to advoid a mental breakdown?