<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

This happened several years ago.  I took vacation from work to do some renovation work in my basement.
  I was moving things and found a cigar in a metal tube in some of my son's stuff. (Just texted my son and he said it was a Dutch Master's special edition). I'm not a smoker and only light up a cigar when a friend has a baby and gives me one. I'm sure it was several years old, but it was in a tube so good to go. 
 I grabbed it, jumped in my truck and headed to Lowe's, about a 30 minute drive.  Fired up the cigar on the way and started getting dizzy.  I was so sick by the time I got to  Lowe's I could hardly drive.  I parked and opened the truck door and just sat there with my head on the steering wheel.  Temperature was in the 40's, but sweat was pouring out of me.  Several people walked by and asked if I was okay, to which I said "No", but they kept walking. 
 Finally a man helped me get into the garden center of Lowe's where I sat on the floor.
  I didn't know that someone had called 911 and EMS pulled up.  (EMS is located across from the Lowe's.)  I lied and told them I had a migraine and get them often, and I would be alright.  
I refused to go to the hospital and had to sign a refusal form.  When they left, I called my wife at work from my cell and told her to come get me because I was sick and couldn't drive.
  On the way home, I told her what I had done. She was laughing the entire drive home.  I made her pull over on the way so I could get out and throw up.
 I went to bed and was sick for several hours.
 To this day, I get sick if I smell a cigar. 
 Also got a bill for around $300 from  EMS, which my insurance company paid.  Next time I refuse to  go with EMS, I'll give them a fake name and social security # so they can't charge me.
<bot>: Smoked a bad cigar, got sick, EMS called, lied to them, called wife to leave work and take me home, she laughed at me, I threw up, and EMS sent me a bill.