<human>: Sorry, this is a little long. I'm unsure how to handle this anymore. We've been together for 3 years (engaged almost a year) and I love him more than anything in the world. However, our sex life is pretty sparse and lackluster. I would ideally like to have sex at least 3 times a week. I also enjoy passion, flirting, foreplay, excitement, etc. I don't receive this...ever. I'm very lucky if we have sex once every week or two. 

When we do have sex 98% of the effort is supplied by me. No kissing or foreplay of any kind. I ALWAYS start him out with a hand AND blowjob and then he'll just climb on top. It's humiliating to me when we have to use lube, but I never get the option to get turned on. 

I've brought up it up over the years and don't get much of a change. He'll put in some effort usually once or twice after I bring it up and then it goes right back to "normal". He has the potential for mind blowing sex and earth shattering oral skills. I've seen it on occasion over the years. It makes me feel like it's me. I'm so self conscious now and I never used to be. Does he find me repulsive? Can he not even stand me enough to lay a finger on me or care about my pleasure and how I feel? Is he just this lazy and selfish? 

I've mentioned my thoughts and feelings to him several times and he assures me that it's nothing like that. He simply says his sex drive is lower than mine and sex isn't as important to him. However, I also know he watches porn and pics of naked chicks online. 

I'm tired of going through so many batteries and having to hide or wait for him to go to sleep in order to please myself. I'm confused and could use some advice and opinions. Thank you!

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<bot>: My fiance doesn't care as much about sex as I do. It's seldom, selfish (not on my part) and lackluster when had. This is running my self esteem and my relationship with him. Need advice!