<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

Thus happened a couple of years ago, while I was still in college. I was heading to class wearing one of my favorite outfits. I felt fly as fuck, had my aviators on, loose tie, shiney polished shoes. I kind of hoppety-skip down these stairs and keep walking, I'm almost to the building. I see a beautiful girl and I beamed my most winning smile at her, she grinned back at me, then I misstepped...fell forward and caught myself. Only I missed another step, wobbled backwards and fell on my ass, continued falling backwards and rolled into my back. The absurdity of it all overwhelmed me, so I just accepted my fate and decided to stare at the wonderful clouds and let out a sigh. The cutie completely freaked out and screamed, "OH MY GOD!"

She ran over to me and asked if I was okay, complete terror on her face. So I looked up at her and smiled again, told her, "Yeah, bruised my ego pretty bad, but it'll be fine in a few days." She laughed and helped me up, then we both hurried off to our classes. I get into class and I sit down. I instantly feel a lump under my butt, so I stand up. I always look before I sit, so I didn't understand what the lump was. Well, apparently when I fell, I landed in some jerk's discarded chewing gum.  As I stood up, the gum stretched and left a trail down the back of my pants and instantly stuck further. Those pants were a strange material, so that shit was *not* coming out. I ran triage in the bathroom, tried everything at home I could Google about the material, but the pants were trash now.
<bot>: felt fly as fuck, smiled at pretty girl, stumbled, fell, stumbled, fell, landed in gum and ruined my pants and ego.