<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

I'm getting married in two months, and so far, my groomsmen haven't done much in terms of helping me reduce the stress of planning. I'm not asking for much, but in some cases, these groomsmen live in a different time zone, which has required travel-planning.

I've had to help them with places to find flight deals, and reserved their hotel rooms. They've booked a return flight the morning after the wedding that would require them to leave the hotel at 5am. This would be fine, except that they haven't rented a car, or booked a shuttle, or communicated in any way that they intend to exchange tickets for a later flight, so the passive onus is on me and the bride-to-be to possibly drive them back (no) or book a shuttle for $200. It's a 2-hour drive from the venue to the airport. In that specific case, the groomsman have less money to afford the costs, and one of them is unemployed. I've specifically said that exchanging tickets would be cheaper, but neither of them has said anything other than "as long as we don't get stranded." Thanks.

On top of that issue, there's little things causing anxiety: not everyone has gotten their suits together, no one's stepped up to give a speech at the reception (or at least told me about it, but I have asked them collectively), and I've asked one of them to volunteer with helping set up a photobooth, but no one's responded. When I call them up or send emails to get updates, the more it seems like I'm nagging. Part of why I'm in this dilemma may be because I led by trying to be as accommodating as possible, but now I need them to step up and handle themselves, their suits, and their travel plans like grown-ass adults.

I'm stressed and anxious and depressed, so I need some help in finding a rational way to be more proactive and direct, without coming off as nagging, or at least, no longer caring about nagging. Am I approaching this incorrectly? If this is just paranoia, what can I do to reassure myself?
<bot>: Long-distance groomsmen aren't communicating well enough or stepping up on certain tasks, while asking me to figure travel issues out for them. How do I get them to take charge without being a dick?