<human>: Provide a brief overview of the text.

This actually happened last night, but it was late and I had class this morning.

I can't stand his girlfriend. She is a 9/10 on the freak scale and about a -2/10 on the looks scale. As long as he is happy right? She annoys the hell out of me, but since he is happy I crack jokes to just keep them laughing and keep things cheerful. Plus, the more I talk, the less I have to hear her whining and bitching. Sometimes, my jokes get a little carried away with rudeness though. I made a joke about Lesbians, not considering the fact that her mom is actually married to another woman, so she was very offended. This was right after I took a shower. She walked over to my desk and slapped me across the face. I felt something wet and sticky. It turns out that she had given my roommate a quickie while I was showering. I am not sure why the fuck she didn't clean her hand, At least lick it off or something. But yep, I asked her why the hell her hand is wet. she just goes. "Ohh, it is just A's jizz" (A to keep anonymity).
<bot>: offended roommates girlfriend with lesbian joke, she slapped me after giving a quickie to my roommate, got his jizz on my face.