<human>: Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?

Note: Posted on the day it occurred, but removed due to rule 3. Posting on the weekend now.

Like many good TIFUs, this one all started out on the toilet. A casual night playing games and browsing reddit took a turn for the worse, when I turned down my hall into the lavatory. Starting out as fine as always (No doubt thanks to my healthy prostate), the previous days meals had caught up to me, and they demanded release. I could imagine a number of ways this could go wrong, but thankfully none applied.

There were no problems yet, as I began to clean up. An arduous but simple task, it would seem almost impossible to fuck up here. But I'm a master of the impossible. I have a habit of standing up towards the end of my wipe, as to ensure a 'clean finish'.

As I stood up however, I noticed a spider, ever so slowly climbing the side of my toilet. A daddy long legs, entirely harmless, slowly making it's way up, until it reached the seat, stealing my former position.
Undoubtedly, he was entirely harmless, and probably friendly.
I don't know what made me do it, but I fucked up. I flicked him. I murdered him. I sacrificed him to the heart of the volcano.

He landed straight in my unholy mess, immediately trying to climb back up the sides. But I was committed by then, and on top of this you should keep in mind that a regular spider isn't even half as bad as a poo spider.

So I flushed him straight back into the pits of hell/my bowel contents. Not seeing him arise this time, I knew he had drowned, victim to one of the most horrific deaths possible. At this point I felt terrible, knowing I should just leave and never think back to this moment.

And on my way out, I saw a tiny, baby daddy long legs. And while I couldn't see it's eyes, I knew it was staring at me.

I fucked up, and I feel terrible.
<bot>: I brew up a storm, releasing it upon the lavatoric ocean. The sea was a cruel mistress, taking a victim but sparing his child.