<human>: I'm currently 20(m).

---------------------------------------The early years-------------------------------------------------

**Grade 8 (7 years ago) to Grade 10 (4 years ago)**, I had an incredibly close (f)riend(same age) who I would *always* hang out with. She and I were two peas in a pod. We were really really close.

**Grade 11 to Grade 12 (high school)** Our interaction decreased significantly because we were sorted in different classes and barely found time for each other amid the exam preparations. Although we were still close, our interactions gradually reduced.

--------------------------------------------The Mistake--------------------------------------------

Note: However I was a stupid cringe-worthy idiot who used to do really foolish stuff and say stupid things. 

After school ended (2 years ago), I asked her out. She politely told me that she'd rather be **just friends**. I kept my cool and told her that was fine. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After high school, I decided not to stay in touch with ANYBODY and completely cut off everyone I knew from school including her. I decided to be a better person and improve myself. 

It's been 3 years and not a day goes by when I don't think about her. Every day, I pick up the phone thinking I'll call her but then decide against it as I feel embarrassed about my past-self and how stupid I was.

Every day, I wonder how she's doing and how it would be to talk to her again. Every day, I miss her more than the previous. But I still feel embarrassed of my past-self and his idiocy. I know that talking to her will make me relapse again. I'll fall for her again and won't be able to move on again.

How the heck am I supposed to move on? I just need to stop thinking about this.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: Cut off contact with close (f)riend after getting rejected. 2 years later, I still keep thinking about her. How do I move on?