<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

I am moving back home after living abroad for about 10 months. During that time my boyfriend and I broke up because long distance wasn't working for him anymore (can't blame him) and he had already started to have interest in someone else.

Now, I wish I could just move on and leave all that painful and melancholy feeling behind that comes with a breakup... but I am moving back home now (where he also lives obviously) and we share a ton of friends and a similar social circle. I am very close friends with his sister and most of my friends are also his friends.

 I am going to see him eventually (rather soon I expect) and it makes me really anxious because the break up might have seemed bilateral but actually, I did not want it end. So obviously he has moved on(I would think) and I haven't. 

I am sure that I am not over him because we were together for a very long time and during a very important time of our lives and he is/was very important to me. He was my best friend.

 I am afraid if I try to contact him it will be awkward (or he might reject me) but I want to have, like, a previous meet up to chat and clear the air before I run into him in any kid of bigger social gathering and…well awkward.

We haven't spoken in 4 months and I am afraid of what the situation is going to make me feel. I think I still love him but I am not sure.  I feel as if I have been more in love with the memories of what we used to be before I moved away. But I know that the only way that I could get some closure is to meet him and see how things are.
<bot>: Going to meet the ex-boyfriend after long distance failed, don't know what to think or how to prepare myself for the situation.