<human>: We dated for a total of 9 months. It took about 4 months for him to be able to touch me in public, let alone actually associate with me. It seemed like it was like he was hiding me but he was actually incredibly awkward and uncomfortable with PDA. As a result, I let him take the relationship at his pace because I didn't want him to feel pressured. In addition to the awkwardness, he didn't really show much affection, he was distant but said that he really liked me when I tried breaking up with him around 6 months.  I'm an independent person, so I wasn't expecting to see him every day, but wanted to try to see him at least once a week (we both work at our universities in housing-- we live less than a mile away). A lot of the time it would be me suggesting dates, or I would be going to his place because he hated coming to mine. 

By this time, my self-esteem was rock bottom, I felt like he didn't want people to know about me, that he didn't actually like me but was keeping me around because we got along quite well. I continue to rationalize a lot of the things that upset me. I told myself that I was expecting too much. At 7-8 months I confessed I was miserable, at this point he finally starts trying because he realizes how upset I am. He starts coming up with dates and actively tries to hold my hand in public and even kiss me hello/goodbye. At 9 months, he's trying but my hearts not in it and I get irritated with everything that he does. I end up breaking it off because I get upset at him, which causes him to be frustrated almost every time we're together.

It's been about 2 weeks since. I miss him like crazy because he's the only boyfriend I've been able to fully trust-- but I can't be around him because he doesn't show emotion, thus making me feel like he doesn't care anymore. I feel like I was setting up too high of expectations and was unfair to him. Yet at the same time I feel like I just stretched out something for too long...

I need help figuring out how to get past this...

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: Dated emotionally distant and seemingly apathetic guy for 9 months, finally take charge and break up with him, now I miss him because I feel like I was expecting too much from him.*