<human>: Last weekend, I got blacked out drunk. I ended up hooking up with a creepy dude that I've known for a couple of years. Problem is, I have a boyfriend. Well, like I said, I was blacked out when it happened and I didn't know that anything had even happened until last night when the dude shows up at a party at my house and tells my boyfriend what happened. 

I have no idea what was going through my mind when I hooked up with him. My boyfriend is the first man I've ever loved, and sober me would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. It is hard because I truthfully have no recollection of it even happening. 

My boyfriend and I are stuck now. Neither of us know what to do. I love him so much and don't want to lose him. I've told him how I feel about him and I've apologized too many times to even count. Reddit, what do I do? How would you approach this situation? I don't even know what to say...

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: got balcked out drunk, cheated on my boyfriend, don't want to lose him, don't know what to do.