<human>: Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?

First TIFU-

Background: I've been really sick the past week, with a combo of flu & hangover symptoms. To get over that, I'm pushing 1+ gallons of water through a day...which means lots of toilet trips.

My fiancée and I live in a studio apt, and it's esp important to be quiet as she's a light sleeper. 

Around 1:30am, I sneak to the toilet silently, pee in the dark, shake and go. Out of habit I hit the light switch, and blind myself. That would be fine, except my cat is black, and now underfoot. Sequence of events as follows, occurring in less than 90 sec:

-Step on cat

-Cat yells, claws me

-I yell, retreat and trip into litter box, hit head on towel rack, cursing.

-Foot in...cat shit. More cursing.

-Foot down again, cat came back, now cat shit on cat. Cat yells again, runs off.

-Clean foot, chase cat down, cat thinks I'm trying to kill him, knocks shit over, ALL the noise.

-Lamp on, fiancée looking murderously at me hanging onto the shit-covered cat. 

Explanations not accepted. Cleaned the cat, he's sleeping on her side of the bed now.
<bot>: Went to pee, got cat shit everywhere and woke up my lady. Cat, woman pissed royally; I'm flabbergasted. FML