<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

When I first met her I was a smoker. About 2 months in the relationship I quit cold turkey and kept living as normal. However I picked up an new job where majority of the people who work there smoke. I started having a few here and there until the habit came back obviously.

Now my girlfriend found out I was smoking again and said I am a liar and cannot be trusted anymore. I told her she is acting like one of those offended LGBT right advocate nutjobs. She was crying and asking me why I was still smoking. She also said that it wasn't the smoking that made her upset, it was the fact I was lying about it. But I haven't been lying, I just didn't tell the retard.

Anyways, I left the house that night to go to the bar and yes I did smoke. I was sitting at the bar when the bartender (she was about 32 or 33) started to chat to me. We both went out to smoke (I was pretty inebriated by then) and still talking. She then came up to me and grabbed my crotch and then kisses me. I won't lie it felt good. I felt bad for my girlfriend so I finished my smoke, closed my tab and left to a friends house. The bartender started to text me later that night wanted to meet up but I stopped contact after she wanted to meet up around 3am.

Now my question is how do I get my girlfriend to chill out and stop being a psycho? I AM NOT going to mention the night at the bar. So don't even try to convince me to do otherwise.
<bot>: Girlfriend didn't know I smoke, acted suprise when she found out again. Also kissed a girl at a bar. Need to know how to calm the girlfriend down.