<human>: I live in university accommodation, and share a floor with 10 other people that I only met a few months ago. I invited two of my best friends over for drinks tonight. This was only the second time my best friends had met the people I'd been living with. 

Everyone got pretty wasted, and by the end of the night one of my friends had lit his pubes on fire and made my kitchen smell like so bad it made me gag, and the other thought it would be hilarious to wipe his ass on our table (which 10 others and I share), and left a fucking shit stain on top of it (don't ask... apparently he wasn't taught how wipe his ass) 

I had left them in the kitchen and I was in my room at this point. The people I live with were smashing my door and telling me to get my friends the fuck out of the house haha. As disgusting as it was, it was fucking hilarious (mostly because we were all so drunk).

Oh and the first time (few months ago) I introduced the guy who let his pubes on fire to my floor, he got naked and woke my entire floor up by screaming and running into peoples bedrooms he doesn't even know. Fuck, I love my friends, but they are such embarrassing assholes haha.

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: I invited some friends over to my house to meet other (new) friends, and one left shit stains on my kitchen table whilst the other burnt his pubes off.