<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

I am a grad student in Computer Science (Yes, I'm broke. No I don't have a life.) As you guessed, I have got a lot of crap I need on my laptop.

I have a Lenovo y510p Ideapad laptop running windows 8.1 OEM. I ran windows update and now it's stuck on a bootloop.
 
Big deal, I can fix this no sweat. Run a system recovery, do a system restore or so I thought.

Boot into Lenovo's bios option to system recovery, NOTHING.
Boot into safe mode - CAN'T.

Well SHIT.

But hey Lenovo can give me a serial number and I can download Windows right?

So I call up Lenovo, they tell me my warranty just expired. I ask them if I can get a serial number to download Windows, make a recovery disk yada yada..

She says nope, can't do. You're out of warranty. We'll make you a recovery disk but it'll cost you. Well SHIT.

I ask them how much, they save you have three options.. $19.99 a month for advanced protection - min of 10 months. That's $200.

Next, 1 year software service plan.. $199 a month.

The third, we'll send you a recovery disk.. $129. (New Windows is cheaper btw)

FUCKING HELL. Like Seriously what the fuck!
<bot>: Windows update -> Bootloop -> Lenovo wants me to go bankrupt or all my applications go poof. I have licenses for a lot of applications I can't recover.