<human>: Can you provide a brief overview of the text?

Bout two weeks ago when all this nonsense began a-brewin'. 

I've always been a clean fella. Not even just clean- sanitary even. Just the way momma raised me I spose mmhm god blesser. Now I'm particularly clean when it comes to the lavatory. However, I've been noticing there's been extra soapy residue and hair on the counter, among other messes. Surely taint mine, as I tidy up regularly. In my arsenal of cleaning supplies, I holster a tube of clorox wipes. Yknow the bl
eachy kind that kill 99.9% of germs. I figure as a gesture I'll leave them on the counter and a hint to get your greasy beard hairs round on up and outta here. Flash forward to now.

The tube has sat atop the ol laminate top, yknow,  the kind to make it look like granite? But I realize there's significantly less wipes in there. And the messes haven't been much better, comes to think of it. Hell, I barely been around to clean up much m'self. So I says "roomie, you been usin the wipes much?" 

"Yes I have panthermilk but I must say it's not a pleasant sensation. Clean is clean though."

That's right about when it hit me. Ol Samuel the roomie been slatherin' his leather donut with bleach wipes. Flattering as is that he thinks I likeem enough to provide  wipes fer his turd cutter, didney read the label? Don't worry its all straightened out now however I haven't inquired to the bleachiness of ol toothless one, I just keep the wipes under the wash bin once again.
<bot>: I left out wipes to imply my roomie should clean up after his self,  he used them on his ass hole.