<human>: I'm not sure if I'm in the right sub for this, so if I'm not, please just let me know where to post this.

I [27/M] very recently discovered that my parents divorced because my father abused my mother. He was apparently extremely emotionally and verbally abusive. 

His own father, my grandfather, was also abusive to his wife -- to the point where she would take Valium every day just to cope. She also spiked his morning coffee with Valium to calm him down so that they could all get through the day.

Now that I know about my father abusing my mother, I can see some of the signs that should have been obvious before. He has an extremely short temper. He often has angry outbursts, but once he calms down after a few minutes, he will pretend it never happened and will refuse to acknowledge that he was ever angry. He is a complete know-it-all and will quickly point out when other people are wrong about something, but has a total double standard for himself in that he absolutely cannot take any criticism. If you try to correct anything he says, he will make excuses or get extremely defensive and self-deprecating, saying things like, "Yep, I guess I'm just stupid then." 

I'm now worried about perpetuating the abusive personality. After all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. How do I recognize signs like these in myself? How do I avoid turning out like him?

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Grandfather abused his wife; father abused my mother. How do I recognize signs of an abusive personality in myself? How do I prevent myself from being abusive?