<human>: I have a friend I've been close with since we were young. We dated when we were in high school (wasn't a very serious relationship) and hooked up every now and then through college and until he started dating his current girlfriend.

We do everything together and get along so well. I try to keep a respectful distance because his girlfriend knows our history and it took a while for her to get comfortable with me, but I still find myself wishing it didn't have to feel like I'm walking on eggshells with our friendship. 

When we were both single I had feelings for him but for varied reasons didn't push for something more and turned him down twice. Obviously now I am kicking myself. 

Did I blow it? It's getting harder to hang out with him because I don't want him to have any idea I feel this way.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: have strong feelings for one of my best friends. He is taken and I'm torn on how to continue being friends.