<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

My boyfriend (20/M) and I (21/F) have been together for 9 months. Everything was fine in beginning, but the past 3 months haven't been well. I realize I'm the one that always reacts in an angry fashion, ergo I technically start the argument.

When I'm in "my zone" of rage, I feel like I'm being completely rational. Afterwards, an immense amount of guilt and depression take over. For example: Last night, my boyfriend and I made plans to stay home and make dinner together. A couple hours later, I get a phone call saying he was going to go out to eat with his family. He invited me, but I declined, as it was a Friday night and I wasn't interested in the nightly crowd. He decided to go anyway, without me.

My initial reaction was sadness, because I expected him to stay in with me. After a while, I was experiencing pretty intense anger. I felt betrayed and abandoned. I felt like he didn't consider my feelings at all, he just went out regardless of how I felt. We ended up getting into a huge argument when he was done eating. I told him I felt like he bailed on me but he was adament that he didn't, since he invited me. It went in circles for over an hour, me telling him he was wrong and him disagreeing.

I know I overreacted, now that I've thought about the situation, but I don't know how to control myself once I start. I always feel like a complete piece of shit when I treat him this way. I always get angry over miniscule things and I don't know how to let it go. I'm extremely stubborn and I guess I just want to be right and win the argument. It all boils down to me being pathetically insecure and thinking he's out to get me or doesn't want to spend with me. 

I would really appreciate it if anyone had some advice to help me out a bit. I'm desperate for help, to control my anger and increase my self esteem.
<bot>: my anger issues and insecurities are ruining my relationship. I start arguments with my boyfriend, which I believe are relevant, but later realize I am overreacting and being completely irrational.