<human>: I (31f) have been dating my boyfriend (32m) for 4+ years. We've had a really rough year, grown distant, and lost a lot of intimacy - but we are currently in couples therapy which is helping. 

One thing that is really challenging is that I've gained weight. Nothing insane, maybe 20 pounds. So instead of 170 I'm 190, but I wear it well. Boyfriend loves me, but finally opened up in therapy that he's not AS attracted to me anymore. I get this, I do, I would probably feel the same way. I'm just not sure how to progress with this in the way..

Our sex life has dwindled to maybe once a month (at the most), and it's not exciting when it does happen. I've been the "sex pusher" in the relationship, which I've worked to knock off, but I've still got anxiety about sex (and the lack of it), and he's still pretty distant sexually - which I guess is a combination of my body and the pressure I've put on him in the past. I am working to make myself healthier, but obviously that takes time and I'm trying not to do it FOR him. Clearly by just "waiting and seeing", nothing is changing.

We have an "appointment" to talk about sex tonight (not with a therapist, but with each other). I know that he's going to ask "so, what do we do?" and honestly I've got no answer. We have been working with intimacy in other areas of our relationship, and it's helping, but having a sex life is really important. I'm not expecting an overnight fix, I just don't know how to get started..

So, what steps can we take to get our intimacy/sex life back on track when I'm currently heavier than both of us would like?

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I've gained weight, bf is less attracted to me. How can we get our sex life functioning again (while I obviously work to lose weight).