<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

I'm a 24 year old college grad. I love all my local sports teams. I go hunting, fishing and hiking. I have a regular desk job. I don't do drugs. I go to happy hour. I only drink whiskey and beer. I like movies with boobs and explosions. I like wearing a suit. I pretty much wear business casual everywhere I go. I know 6 different ways to tie a knot. 

Why do I feel so left out among guys? I literally hang out with girls just so I feel comfortable being uncomfortable about what they're talking about. You see all those "Men what the fuck happened?" posts? I go through that every day. I have about 3 friends that are like me. The rest of the male population is fucking weird. 

I went out to dinner with a group of people, and the guys were sitting there talking about tanning and fucking hair dye. I ordered a regular beer and watch the guys down cranberry vodkas, bahama mama's etc. We talked more about Tom Brady's uggs (ONE OF THESE CLOWNS WAS WEARING A PAIR!!!!) than we did about Tom Brady playing Tim Tebow.
<bot>: I'm a regular guy. I don't like being around most other men because I think they're a bunch of pussies.