<human>: Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?

This happened the other day but rules etc.

Was in a crowded outlet mall in Orlando FL and was on the way out when I thought I'd go for a piss before hitting the road. The nearest restroom happened to be a lot smaller than the other ones, having only 2 urinals and 2 cubicles and as it was busy (fucking tourists) it was pretty jam packed. 

The only stall left open was the disabled one, and I was confused as to why no one was using it, instead queuing up for the other occupied stall/urinals.

So I thought well fuck these idiots, I'm needing a piss so I have to awkwardly squeeze myself past them to get to the disabled stall of free pissing. 

Heres the fuckup, I fire on in there and quickly shut the door and lock it, as you do. It's a hot day (being Orlando) so I go splash some water on my face and have a few puffs on my electric cigarette (sue me) before I go for a piss. 

It is then I discover why no one was using the stall. 

In my gross negligence I failed to notice the giant mountain of shite erupting from the bowl, all over the seat and in little clumps all over the floor in front of the toilet. I mean the cunt who did it would have had to lift himself up off of it to exit the seat! What the actual fuck?! 

So in my haste to nope the fuck out of there I hurriedly push past the newly formed queues of guys in front of the other toilets making it look just like I'd laid king Kong's exploded fingers all over the disabled stall. Good one
<bot>: went for piss, ended up making it look like I'd had a mount st Helens eruption all over the disabled stall