<human>: The title basically says it all. I ruined a relationship with a good person due to expectation, jealousy, holding on to a bad past, insecurity, and ungratefulness. My ex-boyfriend[m24] have had a tumultuous past which can probably be blamed on me and he's cheated on me. I have forgiven him for it as I acknowledge what I did to contribute to him doing that. He has changed so much and I have held the cheating against him, but returned to the behavior that led to it. We've broken up many times due to me calling it off because I was shutting down and being defensive and he's always tried to come together, but I always shut him out. We recently got into another huge fight and I told him I couldn't be with him anymore even though it is my fault. I let him talk and explain his side and it really broke my heart to hear about myself and how I've made a perfectly decent human being feel for the past four years. I know it's over. I know he deserves better. I know we can't be together anymore because he deserves better. I'm not trying to get back with him, but what can I do to make things right? How do I deal with the guilt, shame, and the now broken relationship and relationships with mutual friends. I know I deserve it and I don't deserve any sympathy or pity right now, but I just want to know how to move forward. I wanted to change throughout the whole relationship in my heart and mind, but I just kept failing at it. How do I change? ;__; I'm mainly looking for support from RA so I don't get lost in my head, go crazy, and try and harass him by trying to show my regret. I don't mean to sound pathetic, but please help.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I fucked up a relationship and tore a good person down. how do I make things right? (not trying to restore a broken relationship)