<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

I'll share two, but they're not especially great.  Both happened in high school. 

So I got colossally stoned. I went home and sat at the computer and just stared at the screen. My mother came up to me and asked if I was alright. I said I was tired. She commented on my red eyes and "loopy" behavior. I reassured her I just felt tired. She said okay and I went to bed. There's no way she didn't know I was stoned, but she never brought it up again.

Another time my parents went camping and my girlfriend and I went home early. We said we were gonna stay at her place, but we went back to mine and had sexy time in the shower. She spent the night and the next day my parents came home. All was fine until my mom found my girlfriend's hair in the shower. I told her we just dyed her hair, but that was it. She never brought it up again.
<bot>: I lied to my mom about being stoned and having sexy time with my girlfriend. I assumed at the time she believed in my innocence. In retrospect, she probably just wanted to avoid confrontation.