<human>: It's not like I'm rough..
for instance, when I pick him out of his baby seat in the kitchen, she says I do it too fast.

For me, it just seems normal, but she says I'm hurting him on his legs, how they scrape the chair on his way out, but I couldn't see it like that.
At the end of the day, I know I have to emulate the mother as she knows best, but I have some kind of weird instinct that's telling me that I know better.

Another example, if he takes a nasty poo and it's poking out the top of his diaper - when you change him, you have to raise his legs up kind of high to get all the way up his back clean with the whiper. So she says I was raising it up too high, and hurting him.
For me, I didn't see I was hurting him at all. He was crying, but he's always crying when we change him, it's like a rule. So I didn't see any difference, but she was saying he was crying because I lifted him up too high.
These kinds of things where I can't get down to his level, or up to her level and see how to do things correctly....

I just feel like a horrible dad, and she's ultimately hating me too because I don't know how to treat him right

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: Am I a monster if I can't be a male version of a mother? Is it normal to not have the empathy a mother has?