<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

I married my high school sweetheart, stayed together all through college, and then got married a few months after I graduated college.  We waited until we were engaged to have sex just because she wanted to (I had one previous partner).  Sex was nothing to get too excited about for me, mainly because it caused her a lot of pain and I didn't want to hurt her.  I still loved performing oral on her, and she would give me HJ's.  Pretty much high school stuff.  This went on, even after we were married.  Intercourse was nothing but pain for her, which made me not want to have it.  Who wants to have sex with someone when it causes pain for the person they love?

Fast forward a few years, having to try to have a kid we basically had emotionless sex just to get her pregnant.  She's had issues with endometriosis and ovarian cysts so it took about a year and a half before she got pregnant with our awesome kid.  That was when we were about 25, she's since had a full hysterctomy.

Fast forward to now, currently 34, and haven't had intercourse since I was 30.  The worst part, all the HJ's, BJ's, and intimacy are also gone too.  I've accepted that sex is probably never going to happen to me again, and that's hard to deal with.  However, the idea of going the rest of my life with no intimacy, no hand jobs, never going down on her again, it just really depresses the hell out of me.  Even just watching a movie with her with sex scenes makes me want to cry and punch the wall at the same time.  It's been really hard the past few years, and I feel worthless.  I'm 5'7" and weight about 210 lbs, she's put on some weight too, although I still think she looks sexy, she always has.  

My question is, how can I get things going again with her?  I know that this is the only life I have to live, and I don't want to live like this anymore, but I don't want to live without her either.
<bot>: Painful sex for wife, no sex in four years, not even a pity HJ, need advice on how to get sexy time.