<human>: This TIFU happened many years ago when I was the tender age of 15, enjoying a summer at the Jersey Shore.

I went with some friends to a water park and everyone wanted to go down the big slide. You know, the one that's at every water park that's like 70 feet tall, nearly a straight down drop.

It's hot as hell and the line for this slide is long, but we decide to go for it anyways. About halfway through the line (and 4 flights of stairs up) I start getting this rumbling in my gut... that travels down to my bowels. Ugh.. That chili dog and chili cheese fries I ate earlier in the day is not settling well. Do I get out of line? Or hold it and wait till I get down the slide? Obviously, I chose the latter.

My turn finally comes and the slide attendant tells me to cross my arms and my legs, which I do, and he gives me a push. As soon as I started to descend, my legs flew open and it's like someone stuck a hose of freezing cold water up my ass and turned it on full blast. I could feel that water in my stomach. 

When I reach the end of the slide, I'm shaken up from feeling like my ass has just been violated by a high pressure hose. I stand up and when I do, all the water that went in rushes back out.. along with a massive amount of brown, chunky liquid. 

There had to be about 50 people at the end of this slide waiting to watch their kids or friends come down, some of which were taping on good ole early 1990's camcorders.. and now, I've just shit myself and the waterslide in front of them. The look of shock and disgust was common among the crowd. Somewhere out there, someone, maybe multiple people, have a VHS tape of a perfect day at the water park with their family/friends, tainted by my shitty incident.

The slide was immediately closed for sanitary reasons.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: I got a waterslide enema, shit myself and the waterslide and the slide had to be closed down for sanitary reasons.