<human>: I've been with my SO for about two years and we're in a long distance relationship, I'm 18 female, he's 19 male. 

When I first started dating my boyfriend I was really happy, he made me feel so sexy, beautiful, and confident, he was a lot of the reason why I felt so comfortable in my body after a long time where I felt ugly and not desirable...but recently he told me he masturbated to another girl (a girl he actually saw) and I can't get over it

 I had already been insecure because he asked me for an open relationship in the past because he had moved away and he was surrounded by a lot of pretty girls, I guess it was just too much for him (he was a virgin at this time) and so he asked me if he could have sex with someone there because he felt like he really needed it, and I had actually said yes. 

When that happened the illusion I had of my boyfriend shattered, I thought I was enough for him and that he loved me enough that he wouldn't ever need another girl (Fortunately he told me he couldn't go through with it because he loved me and didn't want me to hurt) but ever since then I haven't felt right 

I got over it when I came to visit him we had sex for the first time and he made me feel sexy and wonderful again ...but now that I know he masturbated to another girl I can't stop thinking about it and I don't even feel pretty or anything when he looks at me because I wasn't enough and I feel like I can never be enough. When he compliments me I feel like he's lying and i feel completely apathetic towards it, I feel disgusted when he touches me and I can't even THINK about sexual things with him, we do Skype sex sometimes and I can't do it anymore. 

I just...I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest because it hurts a lot. I know I have a lot of insecurity and I'm already planning on losing weight because I hate the jealousy I have whenever I see a pretty girl...anyone else go through this and maybe some advice?

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: I'm jealous and hurt now that my boyfriend had asked for an open relationship in the past and I recently found out he masturbated to another girl.