<human>: My boyfriend's car was in the shop for a few weeks so I had to take him to work every morning around 7, then I had to get myself to class at 9. We don't go out much but we happened to get randomly trashed one night, both with awful hangovers the next morning. As we left our place the next morning, with the dog (he looooves car rides), I could tell I was going to have the beer-shits at some point but I felt I had time. I drop him off smoothly at the hospital and I'm heading back to our place. We live downtown in a metropolitan area so traffic is semi-heavy around this time. All of a sudden, it's coming. I have never felt the need to shit more than I did in this moment. I'm speeding, weaving in and out of traffic, hitting every fucking red light. I knew I wasn't going to make it back in time so I pulled over to the next business, literally 2 blocks from my place, and I shit my pants. Beer-shit my pants. I ended up pulling into a bank, just as everyone was parking and walking into work. Thankfully, I had tinted windows. And then I had to deal with my dog trying to eat the shit that was in my seat. I've never been more disgusted in myself.

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: Hung-over driving in traffic, had to shit immediately. Shit in a bank parking lot. Dog tries to eat said shit.