<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

This happened a few weeks ago, but nonetheless.

I was walking around the house naked for reasons that you don't need to know. Decided to make some microwave mac and cheese for the girlfriend and I. Directions called for 16 minutes, so I set the timer and walked away. What's this all the sudden? I have to poop. So I go do my business and come back out and the microwave is reading over ten minutes, still.

"Huh" I think, I must be a faster pooper than I remember.

Finally the microwave goes off and I prepare myself for cheesy goodness. I open the microwave and as I pull out the tray it breaks in half and spills boiling cheese all over the front of my naked body, from stomach to thighs. Turns out while I was in the bathroom my girlfriend started the microwave again for a full 16 minutes as she didn't realize I already had. Cheese was boiling and apparently weakened the tray.

Hospital trip ended with my dick wrapped in gauze and second degree burns all over the front of my body.
<bot>: Accidentally nuked mac and cheese for 32 minutes instead of 16, poured hot cheese all over the front of my body, hospital trip, second degree burns on my crotch.