<human>: That one day the world will ask too much of you, that one day the world will dry up. That doors will close. Failure will be objective, and absolute.

I'm over the depression and anxieties that made  (what was actually) the last eight years of my life miserable. But that one big giant nebulous fear that hangs over me still. I'm working, I'm even going out of my way to make friends, meet people and do things. These last few months have been really good, especially since I started sleeping better.

But I have to get this off my chest. The thought still brings me to tears. I am going to be exhausted despite all that I am capable of. I will live alone, die alone. Stare the finality of my own life head-on and die peacefully albeit bitter and alone. No that is not a contradiction. I will live bitterly, live angry, live fighting to appease some half-baked ideas. I will not be loved. The barriers might be too heavy. I will not look back on a life not lived. If I do I think I will know it's too late.

The problem is in not knowing the future of course, something we all worry about I'm sure. I wish I could know if I will win or not. But that is the destiny we make ourselves. Nobody but us can change our own lives.

Somehow I feel that even with that as a reality, that I am destined to fail anyway. I will never be good enough. I do not want other people to suffer because of my own inadequacies. I would sooner die than have anything important rest on me. Even when my  career has meant I sometimes handle things of that importance and get by anyway.

I'm worried about a youth I will have wasted, times and opportunities squandered. The idea of being a victim makes sense, perhaps I really and truly was a victim in a number of times in my life. But like anyone with any sense of self-worth I refuse to see myself as a victim. But what I'm wrong? What If I really am a victim and am not seeking help for it.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: The enormity of my own life I fear is too much. It's probably not. It's probably nothing. But I need to get it off my chest.