<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

Since we've been engaged for a little over a month now(been together for 8 years prior), we often talk and daydream about buying a house, having kids, and settling down in the city of our choice. Last week I told her we should sit down and realistically set our future goals as a married couple and future family.

She was taken a back and got a bit defensive over the idea of combining our income. She's afraid that I'll micro manage her spending, gawk at her debt, and strip her independence. I keep telling her that managing her spending is not the issue, and that the point is to plan our future and be prepared for buying a house, having kids, and saving for retirement. She has reluctantly agreed BUT I want her to be 100% on board and realize that this is in the best interest of both of us and our future.

The subject of money has always been a touchy subject mainly because of our upbringings. My family isn't rich but a pretty well off middle class family. My parents paid for my college tuition and living expenses throughout my school years. My mother is an accountant and very shrewd with money. Her parents live paycheck to paycheck and my fiance had to support herself throughout college with student loans. Her parents aren't very money savvy and are quite impulsive with money. We both inherited our money habits from our parents and it's touchy to bring up and say "well your parents are rich and spoil you" or "well don't be like your parents and live paycheck to paycheck." It's like a serious Yo mama insult.

I already know that money issues are the #1 reason for divorce and I'm not getting married until we see eye to eye on money. But how do I get her on board and comfortable with the idea of financial planning without having her feel attacked?
<bot>: Newly engaged fiance(GF of 8 years) is hesitant about financial planning, how can I make her comfortable with the process?