<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

This morning, I was sitting on my porch drinking coffee and watching a blind LP of Dark Souls; minding my own business, being a good person. I am called away for breakfast by my dear mother and so I leave my computer and coffee outside. After that tasty breffis', I forget about my coffee and my laptop and went to take a shower.

About half an hour later, I remembered and went back outside to the back porch. *"Mmm! Coffee! I don't mind if it's cold. That's okay! I drink cold coffee all the time!"* Well, that's great and everything, but this time, it was no ordinary cold coffee. I hoist it up and take a swig of the brown earth-potion and feel something unpleasant in my mouth. I spit out the coffee and accidentally crunched down and felt something pop in my mouth. I spit out the withered husk of several unidentifiable organisms. I poured the rest of the coffee out to see what it could be, but I already had a good idea...

The moment before I drained the last of the liquid that obscured my answers, I tasted it. The taste of what I can only describe as rotting potatoes and motor oil. When the cup was empty, lo and behold, there were three dead stink bugs in the bottom of my coffee mug. *"Why has this happened?"* I thought. And so I began to retch like a flying motherfucker stricken with hatred from God himself. 

Now my mouth hurts, the taste won't go away, I'm still vomiting, and I hate my life. Fuck nature.
<bot>: Made coffee, left it, came back, trusted it, drank some stank and ate some bugs, fml.