<human>: I just lost my first true love after 2 months and it feels like a big black hole i can't get out of. I had previous relationships which ended more badly(cheating and stuff) but this one ended quite peacefully actually, albeit unexpected. Actually, before we got together i thought that i shouldn't go in a relationship with her because i loved her so much that i knew i would be devestated when we break up. Well, now we actually did, and i am devestated. I can't get her out of my head, she was the best friend i ever had on this earth. I have several "best friends", boys and girls, but with none of them i can talk so much and get along with like i could with her. I know i will be able to love again in some time, even if it may take years. But i'm afraid i will always compare every girl in the future with her like "she doesn't lile the same music i do" or " she doesn't have as much in common with me as she did".  A bit advice on that would be gladly accepted.
 The next thing is that people may say "keep the beautiful memories". There are no beautiful memories, just painful ones. First kiss, first open air i went to (i went with her) and the whole summer holidays are just painful memories to think back to. And not just with her, i hate all memories i have with my exes. They are all painful and i wished i never had feelings for them back then. The only things keeping me alive now are cigarettes and slipknot.

So at that point i think " what sense does it make to experience things with a person you love if all the memories will be painful if the relationship fails ?" I actually started worrying more about the end of a relationship than the start of it, always keeping in mind that someday it may break up. 
Sorry for any typos, i typed this on my phone.

Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?
<bot>: i fear that i will always compare future girlfriends with my first love and i don't know how to come over the fear of a breakup