<human>: Provide a brief overview of the text.

This might sound weird, melodramatic, over-the-top or whatever.  I'm half-hoping it does.

I've been with my GF for 12 years, we've grown up from essentially being kids to adults.  I love her without doubt, she is the one for me - this is why I'm such a mess.

When I was in my early 20's I didn't take the relationship so seriously, I would go out get really drunk with friends - and very occasionally (2-3 times in maybe 5-6 years) would flirt with girls if they hit on me when I was out, instead of doing The Right Thing and saying I had a girlfriend.

I never slept with anyone (or even came close), or even had a big 'make out session' with anyone - just dancing / flirting - but I would occasionally wake up with a "oh god, I shouldn't have acted like that" feeling of guilt, but didn't say anything to her. 

I now wish I had have said something at the time(s), but I guess it was because the relationship back them wasn't as serious as it is now - coupled with the notion that 'if I say something, it makes it sound bigger than it was'

I hadn't even thought about any of this until I proposed recently, and now I'm feeling crippling guilt.  I feel like I want to 'fess up' in the name of 100% transparency / honestly - but at the same time am worried about planting a seed of doubt in her mind and ruining everything needlessly. 

I'd like to also point out I haven't got drunk and acted 'badly' in 4-5 years.   I am certain I never will again - I guess I'm just taking the proposal / marriage super serious and don't want anything to go wrong..!!

Last thing - my anxiety & guilt is so palpable.  I can barely sleep / eat, is this normal?   I'm genuinely starting to think there's something wrong with me!
<bot>: I was an irresponsible douche when I was younger - nothing really came of it - but should I tell my Fiance about it?