<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

This just happened to me so I'm still kind of reeling from it.  For the last three years where I have had a roommate, I have never gotten caught with the wood in my hand (a few close calls though), today, my luck ran out.  I had just gotten back from the gym when the feeling of horniness hit me.  I knew my roommate was out working out/getting laundry done, so I figured I had enough time to give the wood a good whacking.  So I pull up some quality shit and get to the whacking.  Unfortunately, shortly after I started, I hear the dreaded "click" of the door unlocking, and I frantically try to hide the evidence of my deed, but alas, I he saw the evidence (or at least I thought he saw it).  Realizing, "fuck it, no point in hiding it" I simply fess up to what happened, only for him to tell me that he thought I was just simply getting ready to go take a shower, and he indeed didn't realize my true intentions of leaving my ass half-exposed.  So basically, I got caught because my dumbass openly blurted out why half my ass was exposed to the elements.  Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go whack it some more to try to erase this memory.
<bot>: Decided to whack the wood, roommate enters halfway through, thinks I was getting ready for shower, accidentally confess to true intentions.