<human>: When I first hit puberty at 11, I quickly found that porn was a thing on the internet. At that age I always felt weird that I was looking at "older" women (18-20s), so when I found a place to get porn that was closer to my age group (read: underage) I felt much more comfortable using it. 

As I got older (15+) I got more and more into "adult" porn and by the time I was 18 I pretty much never looked at it again. I say pretty much because there have been a couple times where I have gone back to look but I do not intend to do so again. Not only for legal reasons but also for personal reasons (I do not want to develop a "fetish" for that shit) and ethical reasons (most underage stuff is produced by sexually abusive situations). 

It doesn't really appeal to me much anymore, and it's definitely not something I look at now, but the fact that it is something in my past makes me feel very weird every time I hear/read about pedophiles. I can't help but think that they are just people who are deep into an illegal "fetish" and are demonized and can't get the help they so desperately need. 

I know my situation is a very unique one, and I'm glad I stopped. I still sometimes sexualize teenagers and it makes me sick to my stomach (I'm in my mid-twenties)...  This has been a constant burden that I've been holding onto I guess ever since I turned 18. I don't feel like I can tell anyone about my past in terms of porn.  It just felt so wrong to look at adults when I was a kid. I don't even know how to describe it. Luckily I now have an appreciation for the adult female form (trans-acceptance anyone?). 

I was weary of even posting this simply because of the legal ramifications, since this is of course a complete admission of guilt.  I feel like I just need someone to say something along the lines of "in your circumstance it isn't unreasonable for you to want to have looked at underage porn at that time".  I really wish I could tell my psychologist, but I don't think any good can come from that.

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: when I was under 18 I was mostly looking at underage porn and even though I've completely stopped, my past has been a weight that I've been carrying around since