<human>: Hey reddit. i'm a guy, a senior in college, and recently started accepting the fact that I like other dudes. I've never been in a romantic relationship and I really like having close friends because they're the closest I can get to being in a romantic relationship (i'll explain more further down). Also, seeing as i'm gay, many societal and religious forces have discouraged me from pursuing a gay relationship/marriage. And I really don't feel comfortable being in one for that reason.

This is a problem because it makes me very insecure about my friendships since these relationships are the "epitome" of whatever kind of intimacy I'll ever have with another human being. I feel like my friends don't put in as much effort as I do in the friendship because they have tangible romantic relationships or the IDEA of having one (getting married in the future, etc.) that they can fall back on--and I don't. Like this is it for me. It's ridiculously depressing. Is my way of thinking flawed?

Additionally, I have this one really close friend that I have major feelings for. I'm unsure of his sexuality but we joke around about having sex/dating each other pretty regularly. He's my best bud and I confide in him every little thing about my life and so does he. It feels weird to say this but I love him. It feels awesome but also depressing because I know that some day he'll probably find a girl or something and I'll be left to rot. the idea is so much more salient now that graduation is right around the corner.

He also always asks me to "f*ck" him jokingly but keeps repeating it on occasion. We've discussed girls before--he thinks i'm straight--but I'm still unsure of his sexuality. Does him asking me mean he has homosexual tendencies? Do straight guys do that with their friends? I'd really appreciate any help!

i'm WAY too obsessed over this guy, I can't stop thinking about him and I miss him the second we end a conversation. How do i stop these feelings, if I should stop them at all?

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: gay, have feelings for straight (?) friend...unsure about how my friendships will pan out. Kinda hard to summarize. Any words of advice?