<human>: My SO came out to me as trans a few months ago. Life has been hell since. I do not know what I am doing, I can barely concentrate. Not because s/he is trans, but because I feel betrayed, as if I was not trusted. I was not trusted with the choice of if I wanted to marry a man or a woman. We can't afford couples counseling or even counseling right now. I don't trust my SO anymore and I want to be able to. I want to be able to feel respected, to feel trusted, but I only feel betrayed. The fights are getting worse. 

My SO says that they have always known that they are trans, but doesn't want me using either pronoun as they decide what to do in their life with this now that it is in the open. I am forbidden from speaking of this with anyone and I haven't been able to process anything. I'm in a downward spiral and don't know what to do. So I guess my question is this. How do I start trusting again? How could I be blind? How could I have missed everything? What did I do wrong?

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: SO I have been with for 10+ years is trans. I learned after being 10+ years together. I feel betrayed. How can I start trusting again?