<human>: I was making breakfast this morning, and among other things, I was frying up some onions. Sure, fried onions are great, but could they be better? Yes they can! I decide to kick it up with some paprika and cyan pepper. As I was adding the spice to my delicious side dish, some paprika scattered to the breeze (the window was open in the kitchen) and a couple flakes fell onto the exposed part of the electric burner on my stove. To my glee and excitement, it flared before my eyes, creating little glowing specs jumping off my stove and dancing gracefully in the air. 
Awesome, I think to myself. That looked so cool I want to see it more, and definitely a larger amount than just a few flakes. Well, you can probably see where this is going. As I was shaking the spice jar gingerly, that thing happens that usually happens where nothing comes out, but as you increase the vigor with which you shake just by a hair, it all just dumps out everywhere (one can also observe this phenomenon when attempting to drink straight from a glass with ice in it in an attempt to get the last drop of your beverage out). So, a cloud of cinders erupts from my stove so violently that it practically forces itself into my lungs. I'm standing far enough away that I catch the fringe, as I at least had the foresight to not hover directly over the burner, and this probably saved me a trip to the hospital. I start coughing violently, snot, tears, and spit are flowing out of my facial orifices, basically forcing themselves out, most likely evacuating from my internally burning body out of self preservation. A few minutes of hacking later and I'm chugging water, only the damage is done to my airway not my food throat so it's doing minimal alleviation. It's a few hours later now and it burns when I breath, and especially when I cough. Not sure when that's going away, but no blood so I'm pretty sure I'll pull through.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I thought it looked cool to put paprika on my stove burner, I put to much and it exploded and I inhaled a lot of the embers.