<human>: I don't see my cousin often, they live a few states away. Maybe once a year our families will visit. There's a lot of family that gets together, but the problem is just her. I mean, I'm the problem I guess.

Nothing was weird when we were kids, to be honest we never interacted that much. There were other female cousins her age she'd hang out with. It was just this past year that we started to get along better. The other cousins would be off doing some silly thing, but I'm more of a homebody most of the time. I guess she kind of grew out of it and now we just really connect. We'll just talk or go on a quiet drive together. It was really great to have someone like that. But she'll put her head on my shoulder or in my lap or take a nap with me and I can't handle it.

I guess all of that gave me feelings for her and I don't want to and I'm really fucked up I know, Reddit. I just feel really close with her. I'll admit I've never had a girlfriend. I'm not unattractive or a loner. I have friends that I hang out with and a job and all that, but it's just never happened for me. I have a feeling this is probably it and maybe if I'd ever had a girlfriend I wouldn't be like this.

I don't want to be with her or whatever and I know we can't, but how do I deal with this? She probably doesn't think of me like that anyways. I feel like I'm betraying her trust to even think of it, because why would I? She probably just likes to hang out with me, because even when I did go to be alone (or away from her, after it started) she'd just show up and smile.

Most of the time, it's just automatically avoided by us not being anywhere near each other. But what am I going to do when we are? I don't want to just suddenly ignore her and be her asshole cousin who doesn't talk to her anymore, but I sure as hell can't tell her about this. I can't tell anyone about this.

Throwaway

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: I have feelings for my cousin who I'm obviously going to keep seeing and can't avoid. I wouldn't do anything. I realize I am messed up. How do I get over this?