<human>: So this actually happened today (holy shit, right?). Anyway, I've got this new puppy earlier in the week, she's 8 weeks old and attached to my by the hip. I have never fallen in love and become so connected with an animal so quickly and pretty much bring her everywhere with me. Last night however I was drinking pretty heavily and the pup was enjoying hanging out and playing around at the party, but as 1am rolls around I figure I should put her in my room and let her get some sleep. I then proceed to go out to the bar and continue filling my body with that delicious poison we call alcohol.

2am strikes and I get a call from my mom telling me that she think the dog got out, I figure she's just being paranoid but sure enough I get back to find my 8 week old puppy has burrowed through the towels around my air conditioner and went out onto the roof (I live on the second floor) and somehow she made her way off the roof without any injury and tried to, I presume, go find me. Anyway the next day I woke up hungover as hell and let me tell you reddit - hangovers and sadness are not a good mix. I was driving around looking for her chain smoking with tears pouring out of my eyes like a torrential down pour. Thank the fucking lord after putting posters up and getting her picture shared all over Facebook I got a call from someone a few blocks down who had her cowering on their porch. I have never been so sad, hungover, and happy all in one day. I felt like I found out both my parents had cancer only to get a call from the doctor an hour later saying "whoopsies no cancer my b dude lol." I know this wasn't funny or particularly interesting but any fellow dog owners out their will understand what an emotional rollercoaster this was. I promptly bought a GPS collar the second I got her back.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Went to bar, left dog at house. Dog ran away, was sad. Found dog, was then happy. Hurray