<human>: Keeping it intentionally vague, because I can't be sure she won't see this. Also, I don't know which of my friends know my reddit account, so throwaway :).

We've been together for 5+ years. We live together. Did a lot of growing up together. She had an emotional affair (+some kissing) some time ago. We worked through it and have been trying to make things work ever since. Things keep going up and down. Some days it's great, others can be a real struggle. I got over the affair thing, but we have other issues we're trying to sort out.

Recently, certain events happened that gave me clear evidence she is not over the other guy. She clearly still has very strong feelings for him.

The other issues I'm willing to try and work through, but I'm not going to just sit around hoping that her feelings for the other guy will go away. Clearly she has unresolved feelings, and I don't want to be someone's default partner while they are thinking/possibly wanting to be with someone else. Given certain external factors, it's not possible for her to simply cut off contact with the other guy, but I'm pretty sure they don't actively communicate.

I can understand attraction to someone else, but not the level of feelings and desire to be with the other person she seems to have.

With all this being said, I think I'm done. The question now is: how do I go about ending this relationship? What have you fine internet people experienced when ending a long-term, committed relationship? What are some do's and don't's?

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Long term relationship. I've learned that she still has strong feelings for another guy that I thought was in the past. Think it's time to end it. Need advice on how to proceed.