<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

I'm aspiring to have a job which will require a lot of creativity and hard work which i am fine with. However, about 2 and a half years ago i went through some traumatic times and that kind of put me in a worry spiral about the future and with the added fact that i was in uni and i was a good enough student to never go to lectures and just go to exams, I would stay at home all the time and just sort of worry. Now I am over this trauma more or less but I continue this worry spiral where i don't feel very confident speaking to people whereas before i was alright with people. I'm now being seen as kind of weird and 'out of it' which is understandable because i am. The reason i like this worry is because i intend to do a job which requires creativity and when i'm worried/anxious my mind goes very fast and i have ideas which i wouldn't have normally, they are just sort of flashes and some seem to come from nowhere. I fear this will go if i get my life in order and start thinking about things objectively, perhaps i'll just feel ok and think about things in a measured fashion and feel uninspired. The worry spiral is similar to that feeling of frenzy you get when you're coming up with a new idea that you want to pursue. Just really fast thoughts bombarding you. But that frenzy state in a good objective 'normal' state of mind is hard to get going. The worry is easy.
<bot>: i'm afraid getting my life in order may kill my creativity and change my thought patterns in a way which will make me a different person that i don't necessarily want to be