<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

I have been dating this wonderful guy for nearly 3 years now. Ever since we started dating, though, I've had an aversion to considering a future with him. Even now I struggle to think of ever marrying him. I should mention I've told him this, and he's fine with it. He also doesn't want to get married anytime soon and in this way we also fit together just fine. We have a great time together-laughs, adventures, awesome friends. But I don't feel like my heart is in it. This being said, I initiated a break up a few months back.

So we went NC for a whole month. It was rough-I wanted to talk to him every day but resisted. When he finally contacted me to meet up for coffee, I was ecstatic. But I'd also met another man. Unlike anyone else I'd ever met. Someone I instantly felt at home with and loved to be around.

But I also love my "ex". So I met up with him for coffee, and everything fell back into place. It was so easy to be back together. I kept seeing this other person while still seeing my ex (there was no talk of being exclusive on either side). But now my ex wants to date again, and it would be so easy to continue our history. But I said my final goodbye to the other man and all of yesterday was spent feeling sick to my stomach and salt water continously leaked out of my eyes. 

Help me fellow Redditors! Am I being too emotional, or do I actually love the second more than the first?!
<bot>: Took a break from bf of 3 years, met an amazing guy, now ex wants to get back together and I don't know who to choose.