<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

Firstly, excuse the numerous poor grammatical errors I've made in the title. I'm not exactly sober right now.

So basically, as the title summarises, I'm a 20 year old Muslim female born living in the UK. I come from a Somali family, where my upbringing was (eh) relatively strict. I involuntarily went to weekend Islamic school during my teen years and finished the Qur'an both by reading and memorisation when I was 14/15. 

But I don't really practice Islam. I've always taken drugs, and tried alcohol. I wear the scarf to school and to keep my parents happy, but I don't wear it when I go out. I have had boyfriends. So I'm a bad Muslim.

But I've found myself clashing with my violently atheist boyfriend. He is very quick to debate/argue/insult Islam and religion in general, saying Islam just teaches Muslims to kill people, and that it's capitalistic, violent and sexist.

I still believe in Islam. I have some faint hope I will be a good Muslim when I'm older and atone for my sins when I die, though I don't think I will ever do that. But I get so defensive and angry when my boyfriend insults it even though it's horribly hypocritical and illogical for me to be so. I think it's because of my ingrained upbringing.

So I don't really know what to do. My previous agnostic boyfriend cited it as one of the many deal breakers when breaking up with me.
<bot>: I'm a hypocritical, non practising, believing Muslim girl who gets butthurt when her "~unhalal~" boyfriend insults Islam. Help.