<human>: Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?

This has been a 6 month long fuck up. ./Flex lol This all started because I needed a Halloween costume. Instead of manning up and making a good one. I decided to get a Cow one piece (Yes, with utter and everything lol). Everytime I order crap I choose the free standard shipping (7-10 days) for that $1 free on kindle.

So I get the text message saying my cow suit has shipped. Me being pumped and impatient I go on Amazon to track the package see the delivery date of "October 22-Nov.9th" I flip out being like WTF I ordered this thing a week ago and it's saying it will take a month to ship!? In my frantic clicking around to read comments and what not I end up in my user profile.

That's when I find out... 5 months remaining on Amazon Prime. It fucking hits me... A fuck buddy of mine had gotten me prime as a gift and I 100% spaced it. Meaning all the fun crap I ordered and waited for (getting that $1 free because what's an extra 2-3 days on top of basically a week) could have been almost instantanius satisfaction! And let me tell you... I order freaking EVERYTHING from Amazon these days because stores just suck. *shakes head and face palming myself
<bot>: Fuck buddy got me prime 7 months ago and my scrub ass hasn't been using it and might not be a cow for halloween!