<human>: Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?

Hi. 

About 10 months ago my ex boyfriend ended our 2 year relationship. I loved him dearly, he was my best friend and my first real mature relationship. I was heartbroken, and it has taken me a long, long time to reach this point, where I now feel like I'm okay most of the time and have accepted it. 

However, he recently contacted me saying it would be nice if we could meet over the Christmas holidays for a catch up. I very much doubt this is anything other than him genuinely wanting a catch up, he likes to stay friends with a lot of his past dates/lovers. I've never really understood why he does but he does, and I'm sure I'm just another ex that he'd like to stay in touch with and he must feel like enough time has now passed since the break-up for us to meet.

I initially said yes, and told him to let me know when he's back in town and we'd arrange something. However this past weekend he messaged me saying he is free this week and for some reason, I just didn't want to meet him anymore. I valued his time in my life and our time together a lot, he taught me a lot, but now that is over and I don't really think it's necessary to force a friendship. I'd rather keep the memory of what we were than try and rebuild a broken relationship into a friendship. Plus, it's taken me so long to get here and seeing him again might stir up old feelings. I can't risk going back to that place. 

So I made some very vague excuse about actually being pretty busy these next few weeks and he said it was no trouble, I think deep down he knew I was making excuses because I didn't want to see him. 
It felt like the right thing to do, but I feel quite down about it now. As if I put the final nail in the coffin. Now he really is out of my life. I guess I just need some reassurance that I did the right thing. Is it natural to feel sad about it?
<bot>: Ex wanted to see me to catch up as friends, I said no, I don't know it it was the right thing?