<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

My parents have dachshund called Max, and he is the most curious creature alive. He is always sniffing around the yard, looking for ~~cat shit and human urine~~ **whatever dachshunds look for**.

So this evening I was out feeding the dogs (we live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors and a huge yard) and I realized I needed to pee. I thought, no problem. It's pretty dark, no one is around anyway, might as well do it here. I was standing at the top of a low terrace, and started doing my thing.

Which is of course the point where disaster struck. Max, hearing the slight noise on the dead leaves, ran over to investigate. And stopped right under my stream. He and I both froze, I was mortified. He probably froze because he smelled delicious pee spilling all over him. Dogs are filthy creatures, which is why I prefer cats, But I digress.

It ended with me finishing peeing on him and then having to clean and dry him. And clean myself, because he shook off pee all over me. FML.

Naturally, my parents were extremely displeased and acted very unpleasant about the whole thing. All because the dog is a pleasure seeker.
<bot>: I peed all over my dog by accident and had to clean him and myself. My parents want to kill me.