<human>: I've been in a long distance relationship for 7 months, with this girl from Germany.

Recently we've been arguing, but it's more her arguing and i just keep quiet because 1. I don't want to continue it and 2. because I cannot argue back to be honest, she'll have a go at me if i do. Recently when playing competitive games, shes been having goes at me, because of us losing. 99% of the time it's not only my fault but to her it's all my fault. She will call me names, leave the call, shout at me ( but as soon as i raise my voice, she has a go at me for raising it). She even said this after me raising my voice, "I raise my voice, I'm allowed to do that! You're not! You can't f__k me up, I can f__k up anyone."

She makes it seem as if I'm always the problem and I'm the one that needs changing. You know, i love her, i really do but it makes me wonder if she really does love me... Some of the things she does and says it makes me think if another couple would do that to each other. 

I like being in this relationship most of the time but when this happens, i just feel lost and lonely. I would never leave her, i guess i want to give her the satisfaction of her leaving me, I also don't want to give up on her but with all this i don't know.

It's funny because when she needs me I'm always there for her, she can call me whenever, but sometimes when i call her she gets all mad at me. 

I cannot leave this relationship, mentally I'm already screwed, with depression and stuff and she is the only thing that can make me happy. I'ts just when she gets mad, she takes it out on me verbally and it makes me think. But yh I've become so dependent on her that i don't see the option of leaving... So I'm just so done and lost... Maybe i should just put and end to everything, with this relationship and my life, then i won't have to worry about anything...

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: I'm in a relationship but she doesn't even treat me like I'm her boyfriend but instead like I'm the person she hates most in her life. What do i do, i cannot leave. I wouldn't live through it.