<human>: I've had an eating disorder for over a decade- not that it matters, but it's anorexia. I don't mean to sound flippant I'm not scary thin and on the outside, I think I look very "normal" and like I have an athletic body. I'm recovering from a very recent relapse and I'm doing ok.

I'm also a runner, and running has honestly saved me from falling into the depths of anorexia. Today I had a long run on the schedule, and due to my knee problems, I only ran 12 miles instead of 16. I was crushed. I was hanging out with friends, including Matt, and told them all this, and they all told me I was crazy, that 12 miles is celebratory enough.

Shortly after that, I was starving and had the biggest cookie and something to the effect of being so hungry due to my mileage. Matt said, "but you didn't run 16! You only ran 12 so you shouldn't be having the cookie!" I found it so triggering I wanted to spit it out of my mouth. Matt and I joke around a lot about tons of topics including food, but sometimes I'll find his joking remarks triggering, even when he's saying something as simple as "How did you eat that much at breakfast?! You are a beast!"

A large part of me feels like this is my problem. It's my disorder and there will always be people making triggering comments. Matt and I are friends, we text and go out for food or drinks, but we're not super emotionally close. I tell almost no one about my disorder and I would be embarrassed to tell him.

To be clear, I am in no way angry at Matt for these comments: he does not know about my disorder. He is also a really nice guy and means absolutely no harm. But does anyone have any advice, either in terms of what I should do with regards to Matt and/or how I can internally deal with triggering comments?

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: recovering anorexic of over a decade. My friend makes triggering comments. Almost no one knows about my disorder. I don't know how to handle this.