<human>: My boyfriend and I are college aged (he's on reddit, throwaway for a reason) we haven't been together for very long.

For starters, I'm emotionally handicapped. I'm pretty bad at telling others how I feel, especially my boyfriend. I care about him and think the world of him but I can't articulate it. I want to be able to tell him how I feel about him but I don't want to come off as a cutesy lovey-dovey annoying girlfriend. Even if something is bothering me, I feel stupid telling him about it. I feel like if I tell him what I'm thinking or feeling it will come off as whiny or bitchy.

I hate over emotional, sentimental, affectionate shit that comes with being in a relationship. It grosses me out and makes me uncomfortable. I don't know if that comes from some weird insecurity or what but I've always hated being touched and talking about feelings and stuff like that. I have no idea how he is attracted to me when I'm so cold and emotionally closed off. I think he'd like me to be more open but I don't think I can.

I don't know what to say to him so that he knows how I feel. I think I want to say 'I love you' because I have that genuine feeling for him but I'm afraid he won't want to say it back and I will be irreversibly embarrassed. I'm fine with him not wanting to say it back if he really doesn't feel it but I'm afraid of putting myself out there and just saying it first.

He knows how I am and I'm scared I'm pushing him away because I don't tell him how much he means to me. I need some advice.

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: I'm cold and closed off and don't know how to tell my boyfriend how I really feel about him and I think I'm pushing him away