<human>: The Where: 

NYC company holiday party at a hip joint in Manhattan(read Open Bar)

The Who: 

Many drunk 20 somethings(myself included) and their bosses(including the CEO of the whole damn company)

The What: 

Co-worker, lets call her Leslie, gets shitfaced and I see her being brought to the bathroom by the bouncer. I go and check wassup. She is not okay, not hospital trip 'not okay,' but still not good. An hour and a half; 3 glasses of water; several explanations to my studio manager, regional manager, CEO, tech team, manager of the bar, bouncers, and various curious drunkies; and puke covered new pants later I find her coat and get her outside as the place is closing. 

Keep in mind I am rather in the cups as well.

Finally manage to get a cab to actually stop(most drove away at the sight of a drunk chick.) I see in despair that it is indeed the dreaded UBER cab. Driver will only take her if someone goes with her. 30 blocks of driving later and a very long confusing conversation of half words from her I manage to get her phone to call her roomie, and its dead.
We arrive at what I hope is her building and I go inside to get the doorman to confirm that she actually lives here. While I am inside she does more of the puking inside the cab. -_-

Get her inside only to realize that I now need to pay for the cab. $60 for a 10 minute cab ride uptown. I also happen to live in a completely different borough so getting home involved a 20 minute walk and some much needed chicken and rice followed by a 1 hr 30 min subway ride.

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: Girl got Schwasted at the holiday party and I ended up gettin puked on and taking her back to her place and paying for the cab. Then taking another 2 hours to get home.