<human>: Provide a brief overview of the text.

My roommate (college) has a whole bunch of problems. He goes out most nights, which is fine cause it's college but when he comes back, he's drunk and turns on the lights/wakes me up. 
He almost never does his laundry, his half the room is littered with clothes and books and papers because I usually pick up whatever is on my half and throw it over.
 He constantly whistles and plays musics through his speakers even though he has nice Bose headphones.
He never "wants to bring his key" so I always have to leave the door unlocked.

Here's the kicker, he removes his mattress from the room two nights ago. Yesterday night, begs for me to leave the room for 30 minutes so he can be with a drunk girl with his drunk self..he doesn't have his own mattress.... I text him an hour later and he doesn't reply because he's asleep with the girl...on my bed.
I also am obviously going to have a talk with my RA but that last one was a dick move I was fine with everything else till now.
<bot>: Roommate tells me to leave for 30 minutes. Ends up being the whole night with a girl on my bed. How can I get payback?