<human>: This TIFU, like most other TIFUs, is actually from my past.  So yeah, I'm just karma...er....gathering. **(Cough) she really means whoring (Cough)**  

I used to be in scouts.  I earned a lot of accolades, so I went up on stage most meetings to receive patches.  On one fateful night (seared into my mind like the lines of a grill into a particularly charred burger), I decided to wear thin pants woven from a synthetic fabric.  

As I left for the meeting, I realized that they had a tiny little tear between the legs.  No worries, as long as I didn't pick at it. This meeting, it was decided that everyone would sit on the ground.  I sat cross-legged, since this was comfortable.  

I make it through the whole meeting without trouble.  An old guy whose name I forgot years ago came and made a speech about community service, updates were given, flags were paraded, time was wasted.  Then came the awards ceremony.  Very good, I thought, it's time for me and my perfectionist self to go and get another fucking award.

So little perfectionist me stands up, going from cross-legged to a squat to standing.  As I am doing so, my pants tear the rest of the way, making a conspicuous "zzzzzzweep", like a zipper, and uncovering my panties.  I go bright red and stiff as a plank, unsure as to the best course of action.  Naturally, I defaulted to standing in shock with my pants split in half. 

I did not collect my award that night.  In fact, I spent the rest of the night covering myself with a paper towel from the bathroom.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: a small rip became a big one in the middle of a scouts meeting, exposing my panties in front of everyone.  And I just stood there.