<human>: This occurred yesterday, but I went to a party so I was unable to post. Also, I'm on mobile so I apologize. Now that those obligatory statements are out of the way here goes.
Yesterday at my graduation, I had walked across the stage, blown up some beach balls, and had my fun. All was going well, and I was back in my seat clapping for my friends and foes. One foe gets up there and prepares to walk. Ok let me give you a little bit of background real quick: The guy that's about to walk had a baby with a senior  at my highschool. To make matters worse, he used a plastic bag as a condom, which obviously did not work. As he starts off, I nudge my friend in front of me and say quite loudly, "Dang, I'm surprised plastic bag graduated." He giggles and we watch the balloons his family released float higher. I nudge my friend again, and say, "Damn, did his son release those?"
Then, I feel it. A pair of judgemental eyes staring into my soul. I look to my left, and sure enough the girl sitting right next to me is the mother of that guy's child. I have never spoken to that girl or interacted with her in any way whatsoever.
She is starting with disgust, and says, "Well, he has a daughter so."
I died. 
Yes, I apologizes profusely. She took it well considering.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: made fun of a guy for his choice of condom. Made fun of his baby while sitting next to his baby mamma.