<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

Everything was great at first, met online, hit it off. Spoke every single day for 7 months or so before finally meeting for the first time. Things were 10x better in person and we spent a lovely but short time together before once again being separated. Things kinda just went downhill after that, especially lately. Oh man, things have been terrible lately...and its 95% my fault.

 I'm aware I pick arguments but can't help it when my mood is all over the place and I'm feeling tense etc. Just have this rage simmering inside me that manifests itself in nasty ways at times. But some days I'm perfectly fine and loving etc. I don't understand how he's still sticking by me through the constant highs and lows and very deep lows.

Anyone currently in (or previously been) in the same situation? 

I know I'm very difficult to love but I can't help it :(

I want to be 'normal' but I'm also afraid to go on meds (which have been suggested to me) for fear of not feeling like myself (even though anything is better than this) and also accepting the sad truth that it will be a lifelong dependency.

I want to be the sweet and loving gf he deserves because he is such an amazing guy and I'm getting teary eyed writing this because I feel like I'm going to lose him because of my stupid brain chemistry. Please help.
<bot>: I'm scared my depression/anxiety/constant moodswings are going to ruin my relationship and I need to know if anyone has been in this situation and how they managed