<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

I love my girlfriend, she has made me a better person.  
  
She wants to pursue a degree overseas, but believes we can work through a long-distance relationship. 

I am an incredibly jealous person with a history of depression.

After her degree she'd only be able to work in her career in another country. I don't want to leave my country. I don't want to be away from my family. 

It is hard for me to not be physical with my partners. 

We are head over heels for each other, 
and this has been her dream since a child and she's incredibly close.
Here at home, we are more or less seeing each other every other day.
She's come such a long way in going for this goal.
We're each other's first loves-- and this is the only person I've ever considered marrying.

But I don't trust that I won't be paranoid about who's laughing in the background while she's on the phone. I hate that side of me but it's always there. 

And I struggle to be apart from my parents, they are in a bad financial situation. Me living in another country will really strain us.

I don't know what to do, I feel like an awful person. 
I beat myself up every time she's gone. 
I don't know if I'm working towards the best thing ever,
or slowly dragging out the worst thing.

Please help me, I'm in a really bad place.
<bot>: I might become an obstacle for my partner to reach her childhood dream, I don't know what to do and I'm afraid.