<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

Everyday when I come home from work, I lightly toss my phone across the room onto the couch, where I intend to sit once I take my pants off.  I do this to keep a flow and to save time.  I have done this so many times, I have the method, spin, speed, and distance fairly perfect.  I realize this is unnecessary. 

This time I put a little too much zing on the toss and the phone spiraled 1 foot above my target.  It hit the wall just above my couch and dropped behind.  My firth thought was oh crap, I hope it isn't busted, that would suck.  So I go over to the couch and look behind.  

There is about a 2 inch gap between the wall and my couch.  I can see it at the bottom, along with 4 years of junk that has somehow collected behind the couch.  Half eaten shoes (my jerk dog), candy wrappers, flip flops, socks, a soda can, padded envelopes etc.  My couch is quite large and hard to move, so I have to get a broom to sweep the phone to the side a little since I cant fit my arm down.  This doesn't work, so I get my wife to help me move the couch.

With some extra help, I move the couch a few inches away and can reach down.  I grab the phone and it is unharmed.  Sweet.

I look over to my wife, who goes from looking down the crevasse to looking at me.  She is hovering over the space where I have been sitting for the past 4 years, with her jaw dropped.  I look down and see a bunch of small white/ivory colored pieces of something on the ground.  I look closer and it is a giant pile, about 10 inches wide.  I reach down to touch them and pick one up.  

4 years of finger and toe nail clippings that I have dumped behind the couch while sitting in my spot.  It makes it worse because her 1 pet peave is me picking my toe nails on the couch.  Now she knows where the clippings went.  She was pissed.
<bot>: TIFU by accidentally throwing my phone behind the couch and subsequently revealing my horde of toenail clippings.