<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

Over the course of time I pushed her away. I was a terrible boyfriend going through a very rough semester/time in my life. Unfortunately we broke up just as things started getting better for me. I see her around school which is nice but extremely painful in the sense that I miss her more than anything.

I was mean and didn't want to go out anywhere, I was tired and poor. One time I even shoved her when she called my mother a slut, it was not the correct thing to do and by no means did I ever mean to inflict pain on her, it was a shove the way one man might shove another. She viewed it as a early sign of domestic violence and was extremely upset by it. I was scared by my actions, I've never hit a woman ever nor do I ever plan to. I acted without thinking and feel that there is nothing I could ever do to make things right or okay again.

I put her though a lot of shit and was definitely needy, now all I want to do is take care of her and feel her love. I just don't know what to feel anymore.

I've always been a believer in second chances and I know I've given her one at the start of our relationship, but I'm trying my best to understand her decision. I just feel lost and lonely. This is a girl I wanted to marry one day and now I get anxious and feeling sick when I think about being with someone else or her being with anyone else.

I'm not sure what to do to make things better, not necessarily for us, I feel that there really isn't an us anymore, but for myself.
<bot>: I'm an asshole that pushed away one of, if not the most important person in my life and now I'm lost and alone.