<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

I've been seeing this woman for a while now on and off for about three years. She is divorced and had a pretty disastrous first marriage. We're of different nationalities too.

Initially, I only saw it as casual but slowly she started depending on me and I tried reciprocating and it ended up getting to a point where I felt responsible for her and took care of her.

She had also broken my trust once financially and put me out of a lot of money on a failed deal. But she owed up for it and is making repayments.

Now the thing is that she has asked me to marry her. 

I'm not really sure what I want. My gut feeling tells me this is going to be a disaster later on. So I told it to her clear and its broken off. She is taking it pretty badly and I feel guilty and sad about that. And deep inside I think I actually love her but I'm not so sure.

It's just the fear that she might change her colours as she always does.

She is extremely paranoid about other women, I've also cheated on her once, but that was during a time of turbulence and technically we were broken up.

There is a glaring age gap between us. I'm attracted to her but sometimes it falters. It's mostly due to the fact that I am as paranoid as well sometimes. I feel nothing for her sometimes while we have sex but I have this whole lot of love and care other times. I am sure she loves me as well. She is ready to leave behind everything too.

I'm sorry for the confusing recollection but I've been feeling quite low.
<bot>: I don't know what to do with my girlfriend. I love her on one hand but I don't trust her enough out of experience. She isn't also doing her part.