<human>: First of all I want to say that I had my first time of therapy on wednesday to deal with my anger issues. Which are expressed as random, unpredictable outbursts where I start to raise my voice and become in her eyes disrespectful by starting to talk sarcasticly and also I've been calling her names in the past (what I deeply regret and am ashamed of).

That said she already had to endure alot bc of this and she always stood by my side. She was also very proud of me when I finally realized that I need help and will seek a therapist. But I am too afraid that by the time I get better it will already be too late bc recently she said she cant take it anymore and she was already very close to break up with me bc she cant take this anymore and she is afraid that this wont stop.

I get all of her fears and I would never forgive myself driving her away with my anger outburst that are mostly triggered by me feeling attacked by her (and I feel easily attacked in general - im very oversensitive sometimes and tend to defend myself when feeling like that and very often it just ends with me being super angry).

Im so afraid of losing her and even more the control over my mind and my body. We had an argument again yesterday when she asked me about my therapy and I felt judged by her when I was telling her about what I told my therapist and she said that I am right with what I am saying (the outbursts, the reasons, etc. 

No she is distanced again.. gosh I cant lose her! :(

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: I have angry outbursts bc I feel attacked all the time even tho my GF never attacks me and just actually cares for me. I just fail to realize that too often and drive her away from me.