<human>: I'm 29 and I've been dating this girl(25) for 4+ years now and have been living together for about 4. The past couple of weeks, I've noticed she's been kinda distant with her coming home late and leaving early. I take it that her new job at a start-up company has been really hectic.

Then last Saturday, I see her crying in our room. She's incoherent at first but after she calms down she tells me that she wants to break up. Apparently, she's been on the fence about it for the last 2 years or so now. She says she's unsure of a lot of things in her life; her career, her relationship with her family, her faith, etc.

She hasn't been able to see her old friends as much since then though I never discouraged her from doing so. She's also barely been able to go to her church since then. According to her, her entire world revolved around me somehow and that she never got to grow which was why she left home to "become independent".

So now she's breaking up with me because she feels that it's unfair to stay together when she's unsure of her feelings for me and also to find her own identity; one that that isn't defined by our being a couple.

I've never dated a girl this long so it's particularly hard on me and I'm not sure how to deal with this situation. I don't want her to go but I kinda get what she means. I can't get myself to get angry because of that. I don't want to bring this up with my closest friends since some of them live with us. It might cause a direct confrontation and I don't really want to put her through that. Feels like a guilt trip dick move if that happens.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Girlfriend breaking up with me because she wants to find herself that isn't defined by us being a couple. Not sure how to deal.