<human>: First time on this sub (usually frequent petty revenge) but this is something I noticed tonight. Please, be gentle.

If you want to fool around in the theatre (mind you, there are only 3 people seated), please don't fucking sit 5 seats away from me. You have the whole damn thing. I would have been happy if I couldn't see you out of the corner of my eye and couldn't hear you during the non-action parts. 

My reaction: Near the end of the movie (the guy was really starting to come onto the girl by now), all I did was get up, tell them I'll give them some privacy since they are interested in doing since they don't seem interested in the movie anyway, then leave. But, not before asking a staff member if he wanted to ruin someone's night and tell them what happened. Plus I also told them that they might be going at it. Then I left since my night was already ruined.

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<bot>: OP is an asshole, and probably cockblocks and embarrasses  couple thinking about getting freaky in a movie theatre.