<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

I think I've finally just given up. Maybe there's still a small part of me that hopes I'm wrong but either way I think I have finally realised, love just doesn't exist. At least not for me anyway. I don't think I'll ever find that kind of happiness from a boy again. I guess my only regret is I didn't salvage every moment when I did have it. But its hard, because thats done now. And no matter how hard I tell myself to be happy it at least happened, it means nothing. Because I can remember the memories, but I can never relive them. I can't live in the past as much as I wish I could. I can't hope for the future because I know whats to come. 

I guess I'm just one of those unlucky ones that gets continuously fucked over by boys and then loses all hope in them. I know its probably all based on luck and the majority of girls get good experiences. They don't get their hearts broken over and over again. And they don't get treated like shit. Maybe those are the good looking girls or maybe those are just the lucky ones. Or maybe even those are the ones that just don't overthink as much as me. 

I can't be positive about the future and I can't let go of the past. A part of me wishes the past never happened because as good as it was, I honestly think it destroyed me. I feel broken and nobody can fix it. 

I find myself obsessing over looks. Hoping that to somebody somewhere I am beautiful. Even to be thought that way by a few seems like it would feel amazing. I wander if I am. Because I've never explicitly been told I'm not, but then I've never been told I am. I feel like I've only just discovered how difficult it is to be a female. Its almost though the only way to be okay in this life as a girl is to be beautiful. Otherwise you just have to be strong enough and not care at all about the opinions of others. Life would be so happy if all I was was a beautiful little fool
<bot>: I don't really know what advice I'm looking for. Maybe just a discussion with people who feel the same or have ever felt the same.