<human>: So a few years ago I shaved my wedding tackle bare using a regular old face razor. Loved the result, did not love the itching that followed, never did it again despite wanting to. Well yesterday I decided it was finally time, but perhaps just a trim instead of going bare. So instead of doing it as before I went and bought a proper bodygrooming device, this particular model having trimmers at one end and a shaving foil at the other. [Picture] At either side on the shaving foil end it also has some of the little blades like on a trimmer, which you can see on the picture. These would be my downfall.

So this morning I'm using the trimmer and all is going well; trim a bit, turn it off, clean hair, turn back on and repeat. Then I got to the bit inbetween the base of the shaft and my right leg, which was proving difficult to cut. Difficult as in it was like the trimmer wasn't even turned on, but it was because I could hear it! Then I felt a horrible, *horrible* pain at the base of the head, like someone very quickly running a serrated blade across my dick. I yelped and dropped the shaver to the shower floor. My dick now had a small cut that was bleeding, and holy fuck did it sting. My educated guess is that the trimmer wasn't cutting because I had pushed the power button for the shaving end by mistake, and one of those little (now operational) blade parts on the side of the shaving foil had contacted my skin sideways. They're not supposed to contact the skin sideways.

Obviously I was in no state to put that whirling death machine anywhere near my junk again, and I don't know when I'll have the ~~balls~~ courage to finish the job. I spent the next hour with a bandage and some frozen peas on my dick.

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Bought a shaver to manscape, betrayed part way thru; dick flora is now half Amazonian rainforest, half botanical garden