<human>: Can you provide a brief overview of the text?

This did not happen today. Or this week. Or this decade. Sorry about that.

Well, here goes. You know how many young boys (12-14 years old) are usually embarrassed by their sparse little rat fur mustaches that look like some tiny Moses came and split that shit all to the sides, and also, for some reason, by the idea of shaving? No? Anyone? Just me, then, okay. 

So when I was 14, I was in that situation (the rat Moses mustache thing) and I didn't want to shave because I thought it would grow thicker and I didn't want to be a full man, yet. My solution — waxing. I sneaked on my sister's things and stole one of those little strips (probably a really old one) with green wax included and thought "dis is gon b esy" (yes, this is how 13 year olds talk in my head). Well, it was not. Not esy at all.

As you can imagine, I had no idea what the hell I was doing and that little strip didn't come with instructions so I just stuck it below my nose, rubbed it a little and BAM, ripped it off with all my strength. The problem was my strength wast much. The strip came off but chunks of wax were still stuck to my gypsy woman mustache. I panicked and tried to rub it all off. I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed until it all came off. "Awsum".

Next day I get up to go to school. Not only do I still have a pubestache, I also have two huge symmetrical circular blood red burns below my nose, from all the rubbing the night before. I had to come up with an excuse (I had a cold and said those were marks from all the blowing of my nose, I don't know why the heck I thought this was a good excuse) because I looked like an ugly stupid caterpillar with those things on my face for about two weeks.
Suddenly, shaving didn't sound so embarrassing anymore.
<bot>: Was a stupid kid, had gypsy woman mustache, tried to wax it, got huge symmetrical red burns on my face for weeks.