<human>: I think it's about time that I get some outside input on this. I've been broken up with my ex-girlfriend for close to two years now. We dated for 4-5 years, from the end of high school through most of college. I haven't had a relationship since.

Essentially every time that I masturbate it is to her. When I am not using my imagination to place my phantom ex-girlfriend in preposterously kinky scenarios, I am seeking out pornography with porn stars who resemble her. In fact, I have managed to find one porn star who looks almost exactly like her, except with bigger boobs. I download videos of this porn star and edit them down to the moments where she looks basically exactly like my ex. While I wank, I work very hard to convince myself that it is *actually* my ex-girlfriend and create elaborate story lines to make it so in my mind. It is mostly bondage and gang bang videos that I do this with. I like to torture myself emotionally by watching this stuff... she was kind of slutty sometimes in our on-and-off relationship (with other guys) and I now find myself getting off to this echo of jealousy that I never dealt with when we were together.

We don't really talk very much any more but we both still consider each other friends. We keep in touch, but no more than that really.

What does this mean? Am I perverted? Is this unhealthy? Am I still grossly attached to her? Is this preventing me from moving on? Or is this rather typical harmless behavior that I can keep doing until it gets old? It only feels good *while* I'm doing it... half of the time afterwards I just feel guilty, ashamed, and a bit sick.

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: I wank to a porn star that looks just like my ex-gf from two years ago and it stirs up emotions that linger from the relationship. Am I a perv and/or a baby?