<human>: I never used to do it. At first our sex life was amazing. It wasn't just sex, it was more than that. I felt so close to him and I know he felt the same way.

Now, every time he tries to initiate sex I immediately freeze up, I can't control any of it. I hold my breath and experience anxiety. I get so frustrated and angry about the whole thing that I always end up crying and hating myself. Self injury has been frequent as well, due to frustration I assume.

I recently (2 months ago) "overcame" depression and anxiety but now I'm not so sure. I don't know how to pull myself out of this sexless slump. I feel so miserable about the entire thing and keep wondering why he's even bothering to stay with me (stupid, I know). I love him with all my heart and all I want to do is make him happy, but our sex life is literally the most miserable piece of shit ever.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: I freeze up and hold my breath whenever my boyfriend tries to initiate sex. I love him (don't think I don't), so I don't know why this is happening. Help?