<human>: TIFU by taking a shower after a long day at work and realized I couldn't find my bar of soap anywhere. Weird, but no big deal. Since my house mate is cool with just about anything, I figured I'd use a squirt of his awesome minty scrub so I didn't have to leave the shower to grab new soap. As I'm scrubbing, the mint is staring to feel cool all over my body. Then I feel it. An icy rush only comparable to stuffing a snowball down my pants. Suds had dripped down my butt crack and between my legs, turning my lady parts into an icy layer of hell. I'm talking cold so hard it ached. I promptly maneuvered myself onto my back, lifting my legs up in an attempt to run warm water over my nether regions, and in doing so, slipped and pulled a muscle hard in my back and thigh. I walked out of that bathroom looking like Quasimodo in a towel. Housemate said he heard a thump, and asked if I was ok.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: used my housemates awesome mint body scrub in a pinch, got it in the nether regions, pulled muscle trying to wash it off. Became bath-time Quasimodo.