<human>: Earlier this evening, I ordered a pizza for dinner. It was a long day, the sun was setting by the time I got home, and I just didn't feel like making anything. Pizza Hut, save me!

Normally, even if it's not quite night, I turn on my porch light when I am waiting for food to be delivered, just to try to help them find the house (even though most of them probably use GPS these days). Tonight, however, it completely slipped my mind.

About half an hour or so later, my puggle started barking bloody murder at the front door, letting me know my food had arrived. As I was opening the door and could barely see the delivery woman standing right in front of me, it dawned on me that I hadn't and should turn on the light. Not wanting to blind her in the process, as I reached for the light switched, I said to her, "Close your eyes."

Almost immediately, I realized how that may have come across. *No*, I thought to myself, *why would she take it that way*? As her face became illuminated, however, it was apparent she had in fact taken it that way.

"Sorry, I just realized how creepy that probably sounded. Don't worry, I'm not planning on abducting you."

That didn't make it any better. She stood there silent, visibly uncomfortable. I smirked, recognizing the humor in the situation. She did not, and I scrambled for a way to smooth everything over.

"And I'm sorry I didn't have a surprise for you when you opened them."

Nope, that didn't work. Defeated, I sighed, muttering "Fuck it, here" while handing her the money, taking the pizza, and shutting the door.

No good deed and all.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I ordered a pizza, tried to be helpful, and now the delivery woman probably thinks I had planned on tying her up in my basement.