<human>: Ok, this is not about any relationship I have or have had, because I've never had one. All my life I have felt like an outsider observing others, envyous of how others just "find" the right one, even if it doesn't seem to be healthy.

I have been out of the closet since 18 years old, I am not unnatractive(at least), not stupid(at least) and feel confident about myself in general when interacting with people. So then why is nothing happening then? 
See, I don't find the gay scene attractive and how gays generally live a "gay lifestyle" and I am a discerning person who also needs to be intellectually stimulated. Finding a suitable partner that I feel drawn to seems impossible and as a result I've never accepted a romantic/date approach from someone that was interested in me. 

It must be added then that I don't like to fool around that much just for the sake of sex. I need it to be romantic, intimate, and someone I can hold and really cherish. That is not to say that I don't get sexually frustrated, because I really do!

A few months ago 'n developed a crush on a very good friend, who is interested in women but said being with a man is something that might be possible, or at least we could possibly have a sexual encounter, but it is something that he is very reluctant to do and has never done. 

Some time ago he apologized sincerely for not being able to be romantically atracted to me (which would stir the sex pot of course had it been there), to which I confessed great dissapointment and heartbreak due to an 'unconditional' love(dare I say) I have for him.

But nevertheless, be it with him or another, it is really hurting me having such an immensely intense need to love with nothing able to slake the thirst. It is so depressing, lonely and can no longer try and ignore my need as I have before.

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: I have a lot to give, with no one to give it to. This is unnatural to be so alone, getting older whilst single is scary. Input would be appreciated.