<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

It's the season for doctoral apps again. I've been trying for the last three years and I've never been able to gather enough courage to make an honest effort at it. I finally managed to get one in at the last moment yesterday (I still have to send them GRE scores) and I'm going to try to make it with more.

But I can't shake the feeling I'm doing this is vain. I'm pretty sure that I would be great at it and I would be very happy,  but I can't see anyone recognizing my potential. I know I have  it but I don't FEEL it myself. If I don't fuck up the apps, I'll fuck up the interview.  The anxiety is paralyzing and terifying. I've tried this for so long, another year will make me feel like a failure.  But I may have to do it because it is my dream and I am not going to give it up when I know I'm so close.

It's all in my anxiety.  My scores are not great because I can't concentrate.  I can't put in the work (belive me I do when I CAN) because working always feels like a reminder I'm a failure or a failure waiting to happen. 

I will feel better somehow sometime.  But right now I feel like I'm drowning.  I just want to  believe in myself earnestly, not just try to make it happen and fail because I need to be live in myself to.do the things I need to do to believe in myself.
<bot>: Want to fuck this shit, can't fuck this shit. Want to do this shit, can't do this shit.