<human>: My partner and I have been together over 20 years. We have 4 kids, She is bipolar. I have health issues and the last few years ED. 

Earlier there was an obsession and affair. It was clearly manic stuff, so we moved on.

Maybe about half way through she started shunning me in bed. it was painful. I adapted. A just satisfactory sex life ensued, but it was hard for me for years.

About 3 yrs ago, ED hit. On top of the frequent rejections, we sort of drifted apart in bed.

Last year, she went out with her sister, got drunk, came home SCREAMING at me "you won"t #### me". In front of house guests friends and neighbours.

Since then I've been taking meds for ED, but my services are only required when she is hyped up and pressuring me for immediate 100%

I have told her I will go all the way up to injectable meds, and I will.

However, stumbled on an affair of I reckon 6 months. She is not manic this time, and thinks I should accept it.

I just can't work that way.

I have focused on the sexual issues. My experience of the last year is that we love each other, are there for each other, and are close.

From my point of view, I just couldn't keep that going knowing what she is doing. 

For the sake of our kids (15 down to 4) I will stay with her and make it work. But being a cuckold is not emotionally possible for me.

Advice? perspectives? .. (hugs?)

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Long term relationship with 4 kids going belly up. Seek feedback from older redditors who have been in long term relationships ans had kids.