<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

I am no anthropologist, and I am not familiar with the mores and norms of your household. It's uncommon for any of us on this street to interact beyond a friendly wave, maybe a nod when we catch each other's gaze. However, even in this tepid atmosphere of perpetual topor, there are rules - I've learned the silent code over nearly three decades. 

I have a five month old who has a fragile disposition when it comes to sleep. I am like a grouchy samurai when she goes to bed, keeping watch and order so that nothing disturbs her. Your goddamn fireworks are inexcusable. You don't shoot them off on national holidays - the meaning of your random, semi-frequent celebrations is a mystery, presumably related to the warmer weather and nothing else. You either have too many fucking birthdays or you take too many trips out of state to buy your illicit shitstorming cacophony missiles. 

When these things explode my dog gets nervous and my baby jumps in her sleep. In the same breath I pray she doesn't wake up and I curse you and everything you love. Then I contemplate calling the police, going over to confront you, or just burning your house down later that night. In those fantasies I hope that you and the orgy you must be hosting are trapped in a drunken stupor and all perish from smoke inhalation.   

Perhaps you should consider a different activity for your bizarre and riotous celebrations. While we can't so much hear the cavorting unless I step outside, the fireworks are very impressive. I assume you drove all the way down to the set of Deliverance to buy ordinance like that. A shame you didn't wind up like Ned Beatty.

-signed, Exhausted and Aggravated
<bot>: don't shoot off illegal fireworks at night in a residential neighborhood where babies are trying to sleep and parents are trying to stay sane