<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

Today was a beautiful day in Cleveland, Ohio. I was out on my balcony enjoying the nice weather with a mug of hot green tea, a big glass of ice water, my phone with a plethora of reddit to read, and a citronella candle to keep away the bugs. Quite the pleasant evening if you ask me. 

After an hour or so outside, duty called. I headed to the bathroom to take care of business so I could get back to my post outside. Approximately three minutes later I heard a frantic banging on my door accompanied by muffled screams. I recognized the urgency of the pounding so I jumped up and got to the door without even wiping. 

Before I fully open the door my neighbor started running through my apartment holding a bucket of water and yelling, "YOUR BALCONY IS ON FIRE!" As he scurried to the back I went to the fridge and grabbed my large Brita tank of water and demonstrated my vast diction muttering, "fuck fuck fuck fucking shit fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck..." 

Luckily my neighbor caught the fire early and was able to put it out before I even got there. I never leave candles unattended but the one time it slipped my mind I almost burned down my home. I'm not sure how I could sit next to a candle for so long and then be betrayed by it after only minutes alone but it happened.

So there I stood. Panicked, embarrassed, relieved, thankful, and with a shitty ass. The damage isn't bad, only a few boards to replace which I will have no problem fixing. It could have ended so much worse though. I've been saving up to move across the country in a few months and without renters insurance I could have been screwed to the max. 

Even if he hated me I'm sure he would have helped me put out the fire but let this be a lesson to all. Always be kind to your neighbors, they may end up saving your life. As a thank you I bought him some good Great Lakes Brewery beer and a pack of his favorite smokes. I also told him I owe him a emergency fire extinguishing to which he replied, "That won't be necessary, I'm not as stupid as you." Touche good sir, touche.
<bot>: A mistakenly unattended candle caught my balcony on fire. My neighbor caught it early and put it out before serious damage was done. My butt went unwiped for much longer than preferred.