<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

I never had close friends, and my parents and sibling were distant as well, so I grew up in an emotional desert in a way. When I found my girlfriend, I was thrilled with the attention but quickly realized how hurt I got when she would get excited about something, especially since she is an extremely expressive (read: exaggerates a lot) person. I was hurt because I felt like her love/attention was a zero-sum game, and the more she loved her job/pet/hobby/etc. the less attention she'd give me. We had many, many open conversations about this, and rationally I understand how crazy my feelings are, but ultimately my emotional whole-ness never matured enough for the fear of abandonment to disappear. 
   
Now that we are broken up (in part because she was starting a new job, which again made me afraid of 'losing' her as I was unemployed), I still feel deep pangs of hurt when I think about how great things are going for her, how much she loves her job, etc. even though I know it's far from all roses. I myself am now happily employed and have a social life. That doesn't affect how I feel.

I just want to stop these feelings, in all things, period, because I know I'll never be ready for a truly committed relationship until I can do this. I have seen therapists, and am in a group therapy program. 

To be honest, I don't think anybody who hasn't experienced this deep insecurity can offer much. I have tried internalizing every rational message I could, but ultimately deep-seated emotions have won. I'm hoping to at least hear from people who have recovered from emotional deficiencies in their childhood environment to maturely handle their adult relationships. I can't seem to find much about overcoming a fear of abandonment. 

Does anyone have personal advice? Thank you.
<bot>: An irrational fear of abandonment dooms me to codependent feelings that destroy the intimacy I seek. I want to change.