<human>: So I recently broke up with my serious boyfriend of over three years. He was obviously a lot older than me. We started dating when I was 18, right before I turned 19. We worked together, and once I graduated high school we had sex about two weeks after. At the time it was so forbidden and interesting. I was head over heels for him. I went away to school and he would come visit me and we would stay in hotels and have romantic weekends. I knew he was way too old for me, but he would always say things like how mature I was. 

I know that he did really love me, and I'm not going to say I didn't love him. I stopped feeling the same way about him, and decided it was time to the end the relationship. This was a very hard decision for me, but I knew I couldn't stay with him. I thought he was going to be my forever.

Now that the relationship is over, I am feeling really gross and guilty.  know that sounds dramatic, but it is true. I feel like such a moron that I dated someone so much older for such a long time. I used to defend his temper, the way he used to treat me all the time. Now that I am out of the relationship, I am clearly seeing how terribly he treated me. Realizing this, I feel so so stupid and duped. I'm afraid about telling future boyfriends about this relationship, and I'm even more embarrassed that my family had to watch me date him for so long.

Has anybody else gotten out of a relationship with an older man and also felt so creepy about it?

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: Broke up with older boyfriend, feeling gross about the whole relationship. Afraid people will judge me over the decisions I made when I was very young and naive.