<human>: My grandmother is sick, and on bed rest, and we've employed a nurse to take care of her. She doesn't remember me, or most of the family members, and can't move at all. she's had osteoporosis, a major hip fracture, severe heart problems, arthritis, and more. Yet she's still alive. Like a vegetable. I don't want her to live like this.  
But part of me knows this isn't the whole thing. I've suffered from major depression, and frequently get panic attacks from the smallest of things, and am obsessive over how I can't do anything. I don't feel comfortable around humans at all, but pets like dogs and cats help me stay calm for longer periods of time. the reason I'm saying this is because because we live in a small house, we can't keep any pets till my grandmother is alive. I hate myself for thinking this way, I feel selfish and feel like I've become a person I loathed, but the sadness, the panic, and whole shit-storm that keeps happening is getting too much for me.

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: Grandmother's in a vegetative state, I'm in depression, want a pet dog, only way I'll get one if grandmother passes away. I hate myself.