<human>: I am a (19M) with my FIRST (19F) girlfriend and after three years together I feel as though I'm missing out on a lot of things. I feel as though we are married and I don't want that at all right now. She constantly talks about being married and kids and I am not ready to think about that. I fell head over heals in love with this girl sophomore year and now being in college (we attend different university's a state away) I have an urge to explore different things. 

She is a good girl and I love her very much but I'm tired of a relationship. I want to be able to depend on myself 100% for a while. I feel like an asshole when I say that but I don't know how else to say it. I've actually tried to break up with her twice but I am such a softy, I can't take her bawling and being in hysterics when I say I want to take a break or be separate. I don't have the guts to end it.

She doesn't really like my friends and we constantly fight about me going to hang out with them too much (different now that we are separated). I feel like I am her only friend. She has plenty of friends she likes but she would rather have me than all of them and I do not think the same way.

I don't know what to do right now. I catch myself thinking about being single and how I am too young to be feeling like I'm married. Being with her is all I know I feel like. I want to do me during college and figure myself out because I feel as though I will end up being less of a man than I am capable of. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being a dick but it's just how I've been feeling. Thanks

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<bot>: Have been with my first girlfriend ever for 3 years that I love very much and want to be single and experience my own life, but haven't had the balls to break up with her.