<human>: So tonight the wife made Italian lasagna with garlic bread, it was delicious to the last bite. 2 large glasses of milk to wash it all down and I was ready to pass out for the night. I had just fed the puppy and she was finishing up her food as I plopped down onto the couch. I was laying facing towards the couch when I felt the burn and the pressure building, the compilation of smelly foods that I had devoured an hour ago was already sending it's own "kaiju" in the Pacific rim sense, toward the portal to our world in my nether regions.
Upon releasing my flatulence, I could tell it was a particularly foul smelling concoction as it literally burned when it passed through the poop shoot canal. I had not realized my dog had come over to see what the loud crack of noise was and decided on saying hello to me while she was there.
I rolled over to see the final seconds of a face of complete and utter terror. I burst out laughing hilariously while  apologizing to her but she was frozen in place. I don't think anything could have ever prepared her for what she just had experienced.
She eventually started to walk away and I rolled back over to rest and then I heard her retch. She puked everywhere on the area rug that my wife bought a few years ago. Guess she couldn't handle the dutch oven she stuck her nose into any longer and just lost control of the dinner she just had.

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: farted on my dog on accident, laughed histerically, turned around, and she threw up all over the rug from what I can only determine to be the smell of halfway digested lasagna.