<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

I know it sounds ridiculous, not possible, fucking stupid, because believe me I have thought all these things. I meet this guy one weekend when visiting a friend 4 hours away. Sparks explode. I leave, and we still keep in touch. I am overwhelmed with love for him. I keep it to myself because I must be delusional. Love at first sight isn't real. It isn't.
 
3 weeks after meeting him he tells me he doesnt know how its possible, but he loves me. I am elated. I tell him I feel the exact same way, I just had no idea how to tell him. He is to be deployed in 2 months. That's okay, I will stay with him because I love  him. He is different. He is ADAMANT that we will be together when he comes home.  Two days before he deploys he breaks up with me. He tells me he doesn't think he can give me what I need, that he still loves me. Eventually, NC is in full force. My heart is broken, but he is at war and I'm not going to force him to talk to me..
 
10 months of NOTHING, he messages me and apologizes for his actions. Awesome, I needed to hear that. Today, (like as of 4 days ago) he is in a relationship with some girl (who is not attractive at all, and who lives near him. I am sure she is nice though)  My heart is broken all over again. I know I shouldn't be. But I can't get the feeling that he is mine out of my head, and its driving me insane. He is over me. I get it. So why can't I make myself truly realize he isn't coming back? It hurts too much. I'm confused. My heart hurts. What to do?
<bot>: Ex is dating another girl. Do not know how to feel okay about it, because he meant so much to me. IDK what to do