<human>: Provide a brief overview of the text.

Earlier today was the Epsom derby, a major, annual, horse-racing event held in Surrey, which has big carnival-party round the back. The one being held today was so special because it is the beginning of the celebrations marking the Queen's diamond jubilee. I was waiting for my friends on a platform at my local train station, next to a stationary train that would take us to Epsom. A lot of people had assumed that, because the train was in the station, it was about to leave, so they decided to run. One woman(with admirably large breasts) and her group of friends, all in their "ready to get drunk" kind of gear were trying to get down the stairs to the platform as fast as they could in all their high heeled shoes and as you would expect, a fair bit of titty-bouncing was going on as a by-product of their struggles. A train-guard standing next to me had seen this and shouted up at them "There's no need to run, the train wont be leaving for another five minutes." He then turned to me, looked me dead in the eye and said, "I shouldn't have said that, they can run all they like, I was quite enjoying myself."
<bot>: A large, middle-aged, train-guard tells me that he enjoys watching the jiggling breasts of female passengers running down stairs.