<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

So, the story began yesterday(? It's Sunday now at 1am but y'know) on Saturday morning. I was really hungry coz we had nothing to eat in the house coz we never buy anything to eat until my mom goes shopping on the weekends. Coz she's a busy lady.
So anyway, she usually lets me borrow money to walk to the store a few streets down to buy some doughnuts or whatever suits my fancy in the morning, but she had already left for work at 10am and it was like 10:15 or whatever.
So I was sitting there and I remembered her taking them out of a drawer so I went to go open it, right?
Well, I open the drawer and there's nothing there so I go to open the one below it and there's a purple dildo.
Being an 18 y/o female, I can totally understand a woman has her needs, and I know damn well my dad isn't satisfying her since he just plays video games all day, but it did throw me off since. ...I wasn't expecting to find a dildo. I was looking for money, jeez.
<bot>: Went to borrow my mom's money for food since she lends it to me, opened drawer to find a dildo.