<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

(this was many years ago when I was a student midwife)

Most people who plan a home birth lock up their pets when the time comes.  Occasionally they don't, because "s/he won't be any trouble."  I used to insist on caging the dogs, but didn't fret much over cats, bunnies etc., since most of them go into hiding anyway, once the midwives show up.

In this case there was a cat in the background, but it wasn't threatening, or in the way, so we let it be.

Fast forward to the pushing phase.  The mom-to-be was lying in bed.  The partner and two midwives (not counting me, the student) were busy in their roles.  And I was gloved up, ready to catch the baby, with all my materials laid out, and a nice clean field between her legs.

Suddenly, WHAM.  A cat lands in the middle of the clean field.  Inches from my face.  Right where the baby's going to be in a minute.

For a moment I was totally nonplussed.  Then I scooped up the cat with one gloved hand and tried to move it *gently* to one side.  Cat panicks and leaps off my glove, maybe fueled by pain because I wasn't holding it right, or the loud voices, or ???

The combination of my arm movement and the cat's jump ended up looking exactly as though I had thrown the cat with force.  Cat smashed into the bedroom door, fell down dazed, then got up and wandered off.

For a moment there was total silence.  Someone said softly, "you threw the cat."  And then I was scrambling to re-glove and lay down a new field, yada yada.  No time for explanations.

Once the birth was over and everyone was settled down, I tried to explain what had happened.  I don't think anyone believed me.  They certainly seemed wary of handing me the baby at our visits after that.
<bot>: I threw a cat.  Or it threw itself.  While a baby was being born.  Aaaaawkward.