<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

It's just too easy, but sometimes I can't help it. I always, always end up feeling like diarrhea shit afterward, but it's been a couple weeks since I have last done it. The urge to log into her email just grows over time at the thought that there's bound to be even more about me to read, and I think it's going to be most painful of all when there's nothing. It's been several months, and it's just this last thread that needs to be cut so that I can move on.

I don't want to just up and tell her I've been reading her email. This would stir up a reason for us to talk, and give her more opportunity to talk down on me. I know this is a shitty invasion of privacy, but I think I've suffered for this sin enough. I have no creative solutions at this point.

Also, if you could lay out in great detail why going back and reading her email is a horrible fucking idea, I don't know maybe it would help reading it in someone else's words. I don't want to, but I definitely have, and I definitely feel the impulse on a consistent basis.
<bot>: I need a way to tell the ex to change her password without telling her I've been reading her email. Also, fucking stop me please.