<human>: My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and get along great. Recently he asked me what I wanted to be for halloween and I told him that since I was strapped for cash, that my friend was going to let me borrow a kimono she owned so I could be a geisha. He then got really excited and replied that I should do that because he has always wanted to sleep with an asian. After I stared at him blankly he then told me that he has always had a thing for asians and that he dated a few before he met me, and sort of jokingly said he'd call it a fetish. I am hispanic and while I feel that comments like these would normally not affect me, I can't say that I didn't feel a little sad to hear it.

Later in the day, I think he sensed something was off about me and he told me that I was the girl he wanted to marry. I also think, his comment affected me more because a few weeks ago we had a huge fight where he got really drunk and basically told me that he didn't give a shit about me and that he didn't know why he even stayed loyal to me. He doesn't really remember saying these things to me and has apologized profusely but I'm crazy about this person and as much as I try to forgive him and move forward, I cant help but still feel hurt. 

On the day we were talking about my costume, I had actually started to feel like I was making progress and like our relationship could finally go back to how it was. But once he made that comment I felt like I was back to zero. I guess it just makes me feel like I can't compete with his preference or live up to his ideal. I guess I'm also kind of sad that I'm not his preference. I also feel kind of silly, like maybe I'm over thinking things as our relationship is generally great. I guess I would just like some advice and opinions.

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<bot>: Boyfriend told me he has always wanted to sleep with an asian, I'm hispanic and feel like I'm not enough for him or cant compete with his standards, need advice.