<human>: This fuck up happened a few days ago. I work the graveyard shift at a gas station so I sleep during the morning/early afternoon. I decided to get stoned before I went to bed at about 7:30 am I decided to stop by a corner store and buy a delicious turkey bacon sandwich for munchies. I rode my bike over to a nearby field that has a beautiful view and brought my sandwich, vaporizer pen and budder (BHO) with me. 
   I sat down on a bench sheltered by some trees and almost unwrapped my sandwich before I noticed there were wasps EVERYWHERE, they were all hovering just above the ground, slowly zigzagging back and forth so I decided to ride my bike into the middle of the field and use my bike as a place to sit. I hit my vaporizer pen a few times, unwrapped my sandwich and started devouring it when I noticed there were still a few wasps hovering over the ground nearby, I moved a little further into the field and went back to eating my sandwich. I finished the sandwich, put the crust in a bag (yes, I still don't like the crust) and started riding back home, I got about halfway across the field when I felt this searing pain on the tip of my dick that spread over the rest of it. I jumped off my bike and panicked, I had no idea what the hell was going on but my genitals were in danger! I put two and two together and realized the wasps were most likely attracted to the sandwich and that I got stung on the tip of the dick, I thought there might be a wasp in my pants so I almost pulled my genitals out of my pants but I caught myself and realized I was in a public place and that would be quite inappropriate. Faced with the choice of indecent exposure or riding my bike home with a wasp in my pants I decided I'd risk the ride home, I made a gamble, and thankfully there was no wasp in my pants. My dick still hurts.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: got stoned and ate a sandwich in a field, got stung on the tip of the dick by a wasp