<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

I got pregnant unintentionally amidst dealing with other health issues, so on the tail of that stress it's no surprise that I was eventually diagnosed with postpartum depression after my son was born. The pregnancy was full of lots of what-ifs. For some reason, abortion didn't feel like an option and I felt like adoption was the right choice. But my family, my child's father, and his family were adamantly against it and said if it came to it, they would raise the child themselves. I felt very out of control and overwhelmed. 

I was honestly surprised that my body conceived and formed a healthy baby boy with no problems, given the severity of my health issues at the time I got pregnant. My son was born. Enter depression. 

I got treatment, and continued treatment throughout my son's life. He is now five, and I *still don't feel bonded*. I don't feel like a mom. I feel confused and unsure when I interact with him. I love him, I do have an instinct to protect him. But that is about the extent of my feelings. 

His dad and I are no longer together and he lives with him. We both agreed it is best. People say all sorts of horrible things about me because my son lives with his dad. "What sort of mother...". This is extremely depressing and has made me avoid talking about my son at all to most people. I don't know an appropriate way to explain my situation without giving away too many personal details. And if I did, I still don't think most people would understand. 
 
I'm looking for experience, suggestions, support and reflections. I hope I gave an appropriate amount of detail; if not, feel free to ask questions if they might help you help me.
<bot>: I had postpartum depression and feel that I never bonded with my five year old son. I've been getting professional treatment his entire life to no avail. Can this ever get better? And if not, what do I do?