<human>: My flatmate and I have been really good friends since we met in college 4 or so years ago. We decided to move in together a year ago. I knew she was dating someone but had no idea it was serious or he would be around a lot.

As it turns out, he is at our house EVERY DAY. In a normal situation, I could deal with that. But this guy is a jerk. In the span of a few hours I hear them have loud, screaming arguments and then go on to have horrifyingly loud sex. It wakes me up frequently and has bothered our neighbours. He has broken a large amount of my dishes and vases, including special gifts. He does a lot of things to assert his dominance in our house that I won't go into detail with, but it's there. He has said sexually explicit things about me (not to my face, but my flatmate for some reason relayed them to me) that disgust me and I honestly don't feel completely safe around him so I try to spend the night with friends and I have spent more of the last three months on couches than in my real bed.

The problem is that when I have confronted her about him, she gets really, really mad (this was when I last asked her to keep the sex noises down). It seems from my standpoint that they are in a toxic, if not abusive relationship but she gets fiercely defensive of him if she senses that I'm "criticising" their relationship at all. 

I want to talk to her about it, but she is honestly a good flatmate and I can't frame it as "I hate your boyfriend" because she gets crazy when it's about him. I also can not see a way to move out without incurring a lot of fees on the lease that I can't afford right now, AND without losing her friendship permanently. I don't think asking her never to bring him around is a fair option either, and if I said I felt unsafe she wouldn't take me seriously. I don't know what to do but I do just want to feel safe at home.

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: my flatmate's boyfriend is a jerk who won't leave our house and she gets mad at me when their relationship is criticised and I don't know how to fix this.