<human>: Let me set the stage for my urine-related escapade: I was 6 years old, had overall poor toddler judgement, and was lazy as hell.

Alright! So I used to hang out in my basement, in front of me nice little tv and watch VHS tapes of Disney movies and shit. The closest bathroom to said setup was about a 14 second walk up some stairs and down the hall. However, I was quite the lazy lad. Instead of offering my golden sacrifice to the porcelain god, I would pause my movie, quickly glance around me to confirm there were no pee-watchers, and then happily release my shower on the carpet behind the couch parallel to the tv. I found this process quite convienient and was proud of my innovation. This went on for a few months, and no one suspected me of my guilty pleasures. However, soon my boycave began to reek of piss. And when I say it reeked of piss, I mean it reeked of piss. At the time of the piss reek my family owned a very unlucky cat named Cassy. I diligently blamed Cassy for my piss-crimes and soon an expert on animal piss(don't recall his actually job) was called in by my dad to figure out how the hell to get rid of the pissy smell in my basement. The poor lad dumped a shit ton of chemicals on my floor to get rid of the smell, he believed it was the cat so had prepared a cocktail of feline piss remover chemicals. They didn't work. He said he'd call up his buddies and try to figure out what type of chemicals he could use that would get rid of the smell. It was at this time in which I tugged on my fathers sleeve and told him I needed to tell him something upstairs. He followed me up and soon I broke the bad news "dad it's been me who's been weeing behind the couch all along". My father gaped at me for a few seconds and then told me to wait there. He went downstairs and talked to the piss man, and after a few minutes he left. My father then proceeded to go ballistic. Overall, it was an interesting experience, and only the first of my urine-related adventures.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: I pissed behind my couch for months because I was lazy, I blame cat and father calls pet piss remover guy, discovers it's been me all along.