<human>: My boyfriend of 3.5 years and I are at a tipping point in our relationship. We are truly in love and we enjoy being together. We are best friends and IMO soulmates. There are a couple issues personally and interpersonally though that can either make or break the relationship. 

Personally neither one of us are making enough money at our jobs, he's not following his passions and I've been lazy on my own goals. Interpersonally we have a dissatisfactory sex life. Because of the stress in our own lives, this brings stress and attention to the problem of inconsistent sex and lack of intimacy. 

The problem we are having is the same. We both feel disconnected and we both just want more intimacy and a deeper connection. Every time we fight, whatever it's about, it always boils down to that simple problem. We can't seem to find a solution that works for us. For a few days we'll have more sex and be more present with each other, but after that we go back to the same routine of no effort.

We have a routine everyday of waking up, making coffee and then sitting on the couch watching different alt. media new sources and smoking our cannabis. Somehow we manage to just sit there for hours and neither one of us has any ideas on what we could do differently to connect more and use our time together more wisely. A lot of times we will both be on our phones too! Yuck! Lately I've been leaving my phone in the other room so I won't be tempted to look on FB or Reddit lol

We both know this is the problem. Like I said before, we usually fight and then for a couple days we'll be really into focusing on each other and we'll try to do more involved activities but then we always fall back into the boring routine of sitting inside doing nothing.  Do any of you have this problem? Where you know what the problem is and it gets fixed for a few days but then returns? What do/did you and your SO do to really fix things for good?

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: bf and I want to make a solid change in our relationship and need advice on how to keep up our effort, especially during personal stressful times.