<human>: As for most posts this is not from today, but from about few years ago. So when I was in high school I discovered [these...] Just the best food ever (like if you have ever had them in your life they are gods gift), but not necessarily for your stomach I learned. So I was a semi unhealthy person meaning I would buy like one type of junk food and for the time that it existed in my house it would be all that I ate, but otherwise ate pretty healthy. So que finding a massive box of those at BJ's, bringing it home, and eating like 9 of those per day finishing the whole box in like 2 days. So I have this really big pet peeve of not taking a dump in public bathrooms and on the third day at school I had a kinda bad feeling in my stomach and a good deal of gas (like i was farting non stop the last few periods of the day...). So I just couldn't bear to take a shit at school so I decide to wait until I get home and do my business. Lets just say from like lunchtime until like 3:15 (last stop on the bus pls kill me) I was holding in this massive shit and farting every 5 seconds. I get home and realize that I don't have my house key in my backpack, no problem I'll just go to my deck get the key and open the door. I panic because I can literally feel my bowels exploding, and run up the stairs that lead to my deck where the key is hidden in a magnetic key holder attached to my grill. This is when I remember that the key is only for the front door meaning I had to walk all the way back down the stairs to the front of the house and while running back down the stairs I felt it, the hot stream of goop running down my leg. I would go in detail, but I think ill gross myself out, lets just say the consistensy of jello. I took a shower of shame and curled up in a ball in my bed until my mom got home wondering what the fuck I was doing. I have not eaten a ritz cracker thing since.

Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?
<bot>: Ate a shit ton of ritz cracker things, held in a shit for like 4 hours, shat myself.