<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

This literally happened half an hour ago (give or take).

I was browsing this very subreddit in fact and I had lost track of time and it got late, I decided that since I was halfway through a post I would keep reading it while I went down stairs and brushed my teeth. And so that is exactly what I did.

Midway through tooth brushing I realised that I needed to pee, my Samsung Galaxy was in my left hand (I'm right handed) and my toothbrush was in my right, I locked my phone at this point to allow me to start peeing. I took my Weiner out with my left hand and rested it on the rim of my boxer shorts and thus began to pee. I then proceeded to pick up my phone with my left hand and attempt to unlock.

The phone slipped and began to fall toward the toilet.

Everything went in slow motion and I raised my right leg and somehow kicked my phone to the left of the toilet, slamming it against the wall and (thankfully) preventing it from falling to its watery doom. Having done this very fast movement and still peeing I lost my balance and fell over, landing straight on my ass, knocking the shower curtain down and jamming my toothbrush into my gums making them bleed quite badly.

I was on the floor, covered in piss and bleeding from the mouth.

The kicker? My phone screen smashed as it hit the wall and it won't turn on.
<bot>: Attempted to reddit, pee and brush my teeth all at the same time. Fell over, smashed my phone and I am bleeding from my mouth.