<human>: I was cycling home from work a couple of years back, was wearing Lycra 3/4 length bib shorts and it was raining + bloody cold, around a mile from home I was busting for a piss so decided, as I was soaking wet it wouldn't matter if I pissed myself as I was going to wash the kit anyway, in my mind I though that it would just soak into the material, couldn't fucking believe it when it just started arcing out of me straight through the Lycra, absolutely no resistance at all, sadly I was cycling past a full bus stop, I can still see the look of confusion/laughter/shock on people's faces as I "wizzed" by.

Happened some years ago. Posted this comment in AskReddit and people seemed to enjoy my shame, so I thought I would share here.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Pissed my self while cycling, produced a golden arc instead of it soaking into my clothes like my mind told me would happen.