<human>: As it says in the title, me and my ex tried talking again and being friends after I broke up with her 6 months ago and it ended pretty horrible for me at least. I realized that I couldn't separate my feelings for her into a normal friendship and still wanted to pursue a relationship with her and she just wanted to stay friends and convinced me at one point that it would be possible. I always got yelled at whenever I tried bringing up the fact that I couldn't do it and only wanted to have a romantic relationship with her and yet I still remained in contact with her.

I feel like a mess and that I am going through our breakup again. I can see the bad aspects in her, but yet I still like her a lot and already feel like maybe we could try the friendship again and if I wait long enough she will want to date again. I don't know how to get rid of that stupid optimism and horrible notion, because I know it's holding me back right now.

What should I do? Doing my best to not message her at all which is tough, but I don't know how to continue on emotionally from this.

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: How do I pick myself up again after letting myself down by convincing myself I could be friends with my ex? Already I feel like I could try being friends with her again which would lead to us dating.