<human>: A friend who I have been crushing pretty badly on asked me if I had plans for Valentine's Day. Like a dope, I said no, despite the fact that I had been slowly gunning up some courage to ask her out. 

A few hours after that, she texts me and tells me about how another boy had been paying her all these compliments (apparently commenting on her looks, smile and smarts over the course of a few months doesn't cut chops with a few minutes of ab-wielded remarks, but I digress) and how she was really interested in him. 

Like an even bigger dope, I jokingly suggest that maybe he wants to ask her to be his Valentine, before I slam my head against the keyboard shouting, "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!" over and over after I realize how badly I just pigeon-holed my lonely ass. Fun stuff.

Oh, and yeah. She dropped her hints his way on Valentine's Day, and 
now they have a date this coming Friday (I was just texted all about it).

Provide a brief overview of the text.
<bot>: crush on girl, absently tell girl that someone wants to be her valentine, smash face on desk, get texted about their up coming date, feelsbadman.jpg