<human>: Y'know what *really* irks me? Blatantly rude people who just don't give a fuck. Fuck hell.

I live in London and take the tube to uni every day. It gets busy during peak times, and it pisses me off when someone decides to lean against the pole that's there to hold on to, which results in no one else being able to hold on to it.

Now this dude was leaning against the pole and did not move a bloody inch when he saw an influx of people get on at a busy station. Anyone who has been on a old underground train knows that you get thrown around a little bit - so here's where my pettiness begins. I stood next to him and every time the train braked or accelerated I "fell" onto him just a tiny bit and didn't make as much of an effort to balance myself seeing as the fucker was using an entire pole for himself. 

^^*Whoops.*

I was between him and the exit doors, so when he made a move to get off the train I kept moving in his way whilst under the pretense of trying to move *out* of his way but [same-stepping] him. 

^^*Oopsie* ^^*daisy.*

I made sure to give him an awkward apologetic smile as he left.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: British fear of being obviously rude led to me being passive aggressive to get back at someone being a dick on the tube.