<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

I'm not a fan of office birthdays, or Happy Birthday texts from people I barely know, and I definitely hate the 50 or so obligatory Facebook birthday posts.  One day last year, I realized that Facebook is now the only source of anyone's knowledge of my real birth date outside of close friends and family, so I hatched a plan.  Two days before my real birthday, I edited my profile and made my birth date 9 days before my real one...7 days in the past.  VOILA!!!  No awkward cards, no random texts, no stupid gifts that employees of mine scrambled to get last second.  Just another quiet day.  It was beautiful.  

But that was last year.

This morning, 9 days before my birthday I get a call from my boss.  He wants to buy me lunch...FOR MY BIRTHDAY.  WTF? Uh, sure.  He's a little off, but why not get a free lunch.  Get to the office.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY from the employees.  Stupid card.  Cupcakes.  WTF?  Check Facebook...never changed the date back.  Already too deep in the con to tell everyone, so had to pretend it was my real birthday all day.  Worst part was the sobbing voicemail my mother-in-law left on my phone late at night apologizing for missing my birthday.
<bot>: Changed my FB birthdate last year to avoid social awkwardness, only to get hit with it double this year, including making my mom-in-law cry.