<human>: This FU just happened. I got back in my dorm room. I'd been holding in my pee for the bulk of the day. The bathroom is probably 20 feet down the hall. I saw a nearly empty bottle of old mountain dew among the other objects on my desk. I decided to pee into that bottle, because: A. I'd never peed into a bottle before and wanted to practice for future car-rides or something. B. Convenience. C. Why not? 

So I sat down at my desk chair and after a bit of inexperienced fumbling, I resolved to stand up and drop my pants (it would be easier after all, and it was). Now I was worried: the thought that the volume of pee in my bladder could be greater than the volume my bottle could actually hold only occurred to me once I had begun relieving myself into the bottle. SO, I filled the bottle about to the brim (thank goodness it didn't overflow) and was ready to cap it, when I met up with a problem: I had misplaced the cap. I almost laughed at my absentmindedness and placed the cap-less bottle down carefully back on my desk. I turned to my left and found the cap sitting there and after breathing a sigh of relief, I turned back to my right without looking and grabbed at my nearly full bottle of pee.

Surprisingly enough, my motor skills and kinesthetic sense took this opportunity to completely fail me.

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: My pee set out on a conquest across my desk and beyond, sparing only my laptop. Oh dear god the smells.