<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

I wanted to put this up earlier but it must have slipped my hangovered mind, as this is my first TIFU on reddit.

Wednesday last week I was finally done with my finals after almost six months of studying. Naturally, I was in a pretty good mood at 9.30 am and lit a cuban cigar because that is just what I do after final exams. At 10 am everybody was finally done and we moved to the first pub to have our first beers. This went on until lunch when we switched pubs, had some lunch and even more beers. By 4 pm I must have had around 6 liters of beer (1.5 gallons US?!) and was still drinking. Now, the average beer in Europe has around 5% of liquor, so I was already pretty wasted. We continued drinking and smoking cigars until 6 pm, when a friend proposed to meet up with her father at his local bar for whisky and cigars. Being completely wasted by that time I was in for it of course. So we walk there and it took me a lot of effort to keep my shit together. We arrive and I immediately drink Yamazaki whisky, in my opinion Japans finest one. This goes on for another two hours and BAM, I blackout. So I wake up two hours later on a park bank to the sound of the police telling me that I'm under arrest for public intoxication. I immediately started apologizing and shit, resulting in the policemen bursting out in laughter because I was literally just blabbling. So they put me to the backseat of their car, give me a lift home and a hefty fine; court invitation will follow.

I awake the next morning with the worst hangover ever, call my friend and she tells me that I was banned for lifetime in the bar we were the night before and that I probably lost my backpack. It hits me, I forgot my backpack including my business computer worth 2 grand. Shit. Until now, I haven't found it but I received the courts invitation.
<bot>: got wasted celebrating my finals, lost my backpack worth 2 grand, woke up to the sound of the cops and am intived to court. Fuck.