<human>: My fiancé and I were recently engaged and we are beginning to plan our wedding. We've talked about what we want the wedding day to look like, and over the past few years we decided something small is best. We had planned on eloping out of the country but it makes more sense right now financially to go to the courthouse for a private ceremony instead.

Our families are a bit crazy; my mother is a controlling sociopath (and the primary reason we don't want to invite people to the wedding), and we both have booze-driven family members who would love nothing more than downing free alcohol while making the night about them. We see our wedding day as something that should be enjoyable, memorable, and pleasant. I know for a fact that my mom will become (more of) a monster and will ignore my personal preferences and decisions. I get panicky just thinking about it. There are some family and friends we would like to include, however, and we can't figure out the best way to do this. My aunt and uncle are the closest to us, and we have a close friend or two that we might want in attendance.

The reasons for excluding our families boil down to this: we can't afford a wedding and we don't want to put a financial burden on a family member, should the families decide they all want to come; we don't want to be anxious and upset on our wedding day; we don't want to be at the mercy of our families, who often disrespect us and our time.

Having said all that, what advice would those who've been in a similar situation have? Do we have a courthouse marriage and tell everyone afterwards, do we keep it a secret, or do we have a semi-private ceremony with my aunt and some of our close friends?

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<bot>: Just got engaged, want to elope in our town but don't want to involve some of our family who live in the area.