<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

My first relationship ended 5 years ago. It was short, but intense. Afterwards, we weren't intelligent enough to sever contact completely. She felt pity; I wanted her back. What resulted was 3 years of mutual psychological and emotional torture, which I'd rather not get into as it might identify me. At some point, I blocked her and didn't look back. I've slowly been getting myself back and have been quite successful so far in life by most standards - I have a job I love while living abroad, no longer have to work paycheck-to-paycheck, etc.

However, I can't bring myself to approach women at all. My brain processes attractive women like pieces of art; to be appreciated and admired, but never touched. Half of me thinks this is the negative self-view I received after those three years (somehow I would stain that art and make it less than what it is), and another half thinks it's almost entirely vulnerability and trust issues.

Even with these things identified, I'm not sure how to go about fixing them. I'm not interested in one-night stands or short relationships at all, which is the advice I hear most about "recovering."

I've had multiple chances for one-night stands or short-term relationships, and as soon as it becomes a real possibility, I let it slide by and ignore it (much to the dismay of my drinking buddies). I don't want to go there again.

Any advice would be appreciated.
<bot>: Had bad relationship with post-breakup torture. Can't bring myself to try again (read the post) an actively sabotage any chances that come up.