<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

Tifu by going to Buffalo Wild Wings before having to drive ninety miles. I went to a large town ninety miles away from me and before I left I had to go to BWW. After eating 12 pretty hot wings, I started my drive home. 20 miles into my trip I passed an exit and quickly realized I should have pulled off to relive my digestive track. 
The next town was only five miles away, I can make it. Right?  Less than a mile later I had propped myself into the corner of the car and was clinching my sphincter shut for dear life. 
I made it to the next exit to find a gas station with a one stall bathroom. It will do just fine,right?  Oh shit, the last person clogged the toilet. I made a move to the women's bathroom but a lady and her young kid just headed in there. In my hast to unleash hell on a toilet, I didn't quite get the door locked which surprised me and the poor bastard that walked in on me equally. 
Now I know there is someone waiting to use the bathroom that I am destroying and have no way of fixing because there is not a plunger in sight. So I did the only logical thing I could think of which was to sit there long enough that he would either leave or use the women's bathroom. 
Luckily I do not have to go back in there and possibly face the poor bastard that has to clean that toilet for minimum wage.
<bot>: Ate wings, tried to drive home, destroyed toilet, bystander and poor kid who has to clean gas station bathroom.