<human>: This past summer I [20f] met two guys from Tinder. They are both [21m][24m] good friends and seem like decent people. 

I could get into what I've done but basically I didn't know what I wanted, acted selfishly, was looking for things no one could give me, and hurt them. A friend since has pointed out I have no self esteem and in response, I've decided they were right and I've stopped dating to work on myself.

What I did was unintentional but I am without a doubt, responsible for my actions. I want them to know a) My decisions had nothing to do with them b) There is nothing wrong with them ( I was driven by personal issues/wouldnt include). The issues part, I don't want to get into with them as I think it takes away from the apology. 

I don't need their forgiveness, I've got my own. I've now fixed my behavior and I'm working on my self esteem (which I think is better than just carrying on, denying my problem and continuing using people to find acceptance). I just hate hurting people and I've never gone this long in apologizing to someone I have hurt.

I am going back to my hometown for a week in December and want to ask them to meet up so I can give them their separate apologies. Sending a text, calling, pming is to me, not sincere enough. After I was such an asshole, I don't know whether this is crazy and I should let it go.

I figured, It sucks when someone does you wrong and they never own up to it, so I was at least going to give them the chance. On top of that, I have to face the consequences of my decisions and whatever they want to say to me, they can.

I will let them know I don't except forgiveness, to be friends, or come back in their life.

So, is it acceptable after four-five months have gone by to apologize or should I let it go? Is there other solutions?

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: I screwed two guys over this past summer. Pretty disgusted with myself, finally earned my forgiveness and want to apologize. Don't know whether I should or it should be let go.