<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

My SO (F, 24) and I (M, 26) are trying to talk out some of our issues now. I just want to know enough to make an informed decision about what I should do. She says she would never do it again, but because I don't feel like she understands her decisions or herself, I can't trust those words. I don't feel like she's reciprocating. I understand this is part of the obsession / suppression cycle that betrayed / involved partners experience in this situation. However, I can't get a straight story *at all*. It was a one time fling, 100% physical as she claims, there was a lot of alcohol involved. I understand that sexual variety might be at the heart of this. She seems to be really clingy, really regretful (*now* at least -- a little too late).

What could've happened here? She never made an effort to communicate whether there were any deficiencies in the relationship up to the months preceding the event. I know she was under a *lot* of stress, and I tried my hardest to be there for her and help her through it. Fuck, I was even tutoring her in classes I'd never taken before by reading her textbooks. I feel very used and deceived.

I feel like she's young and doesn't understand her signals well. If there was something she really needed, she didn't know how to ask for it. Is this something that therapy solves? On the other hand, she might have been throwing a wrench in the spokes of this relationship, trying to end subconsciously. This idea would disagree with her trying to get back together. I can't stand that kind of waffling, but I guess ambivalence is to be expected.

I'm considering couples counseling because she's young and doesn't understand herself very much. I don't know who she is anymore. It's as if she died, or worse. I still love her very much, but I can't heal until I understand it all regardless of whether we'll try to make the relationship work. However, I would be completely destroyed if it happened again.

**I would very much appreciate input from females**. If you comment, give me a sense of your past: age, gender, were you the involved or the betrayed, etc.
<bot>: SO of LTR betrayed me and slept with someone whom she barely knew, cut off all contact with him as she claims, and is highly regretful. She cannot understand her decision and/or why it happened.