<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

The relationship and break up story is too long. But anyway, after an on and off relationship, we decided to really fully break things off. We don't even live in the same country right now (we cancelled plans to moving to the same city when we broke up).

Last week, after two months of really missing her, I contacted her with some bullshit offer of trying to be friends and asking her if she wanted to talk on the phone. But the truth is I miss her terribly, and it is just an excuse to hear her voice. She suggested we talk this week.

Any advice on what I should do? If I am being honest with myself, I am not ready for a friendship with her, and perhaps never will be. I miss her too much, my feelings are too strong. But, perhaps out of pride, I don't want to cancel our phone conversation and show how hurt I am about the break up by my inability to handle a conversation. Asking to talk to her and then cancelling just seems so feeble and unstable. I also don't want to pretend that I don't care. I want to honor what I had with her by not being a jerk now, but I also don't want to be emotional about it. 

suggestions?
<bot>: Made plans to catch up with ex on the phone, but now I am afraid I won't be able to handle it. Better to cancel or to stick to the plan and pretend I am over it to protect my pride?