<human>: Reddit -- need advice on what I need to request in the divorce decree in California. 
Throwaway account, so no history with it. (x-post from r/divorce -- not a lot of activity over there) 

Amicably divorcing wife of 12 years. Have two special needs kids under 10. We have a mediator, so no dueling lawyers, won't cost a fortune, we have agreed on just about all the personal goods, still working on the financial. I work, she doesn't 'cause of the kids, so I'm paying out of my ass, no two ways around it. 

I won't get a divorce lawyer, mediation is the way to go. (Ok, I'd get one if she goes off the deep end or she gets one, but otherwise keeping lawyers out of it). I will only have kids about 25% of the time; every other weekend, ever other holiday, a week in the summer, a week in the winter, Wednesday evenings, etc. Pretty good split for the most part. 

What should I have in the agreement that are must-haves for dads or dudes in general?

How can I incentivize her to go back to work and not live on the dole (me)? She can't get anything full time (kids health is random), but I want her to go part time with benefits so I don't have to pay her crazy amounts of money every month forever and ever.

Need answers to questions I haven't thought of, so constructive advice welcomed, especially from those in the divorced dads "club."

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: as a dad, what must I get in writing to protect myself and kids from soon to be ex who's not entirely psycho?