<human>: Not so much today, but this happened two weeks ago.

Here's a bit of background information:
I'm a first year student in university, and like every other guy I go on Tinder trying to get lucky. Never really met anyone, but there's this one special one who really stood out. Let's call her K.

So K. and I have exchanged number and and we text occasionally. All seems good, she seems cool and honestly if I wasn't going to get into her pants we could still be friends.
Fast forward a few weeks later, the all new HTC One M9 was released (any Android fans here?) and I was ecstatic. Long story short I install the software on the One M9 to my One M7 and at this point I didn't have all my contacts.

Here's where the fuck up begins:
A few days later I received a prank text, and I while I won't go into details, the joke requires the person to know my name. My friend and I just hot boxed the bathroom (we live on residence) and were both obviously on Mars. When I received the text we thought it was a good idea to threaten to "fuck you up" and suggest that the sender might be in grave danger. We were so sure the prank came from our other stoner friends - they all knew I didn't have all my contacts so this prank works perfectly.

The prankster played on for a while. Then there was no response.
Then I got a text from another unknown number saying "hey dude stops scaring my friend."
Stoner me call the number and asked "hey who is this". All I heard on the other line was "Seriously? Seriously?" 

I was confused as hell but I moved on. As I sobered up I called the second number again and went straight to the mailbox: "hey this is K., please leave a message". Fuck. I retrieved my contacts and realized the second number was K., and the original prankster was her friend. They were probably messing with me when they were bored (yeah I know, pathetic me.)

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: tried too hard on Tinder, didn't get laid at all, got pranked by match, violently abused tinder match's friend, asked tinder match who she was, ended up repeatedly apologizing to both people.