<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

I've been in many relationships in the past, but they were all short 

lived and based on sex (I've had some Bad sexual trauma as a child 

that messed me up on what relationships are supposed to be like) 

and I've never actually tried long distance relationships before, but I 

really, really like this girl. She's gentle and she makes me feel safe 

and she NEVER pushes me to do anything sexual for her, she 

doesn't even blame me or ask details on my past rape and abuse. 

But I'm still terrified beyond belief about meeting her in person. I

know rationally that she won't suddenly look at me and 

decide I'm too gross or dirty, and I'm looking forward to hugging

and snuggling with her, but I'm also so nervous that I stay up at 

night thinking of all the ways it could go wrong, about her looking at

the harm I had inflicted on my own body because of trauma (it's 

unfortunately a lot, even though I'm working on scar creams and 

treatments to get them to fade away) and  realizing she deserves 

better. Does anyone have any advice for calming down about this? 

Or do you think I should talk to her about postponing the visit...I 

really don't want to postpone because I adore her, but I'm not sure 

what to do. I hate that my paranoia is doing this to me, and I'm 

sure that once we actually see each other I won't feel like this 

anymore, but I just need some advice to hold me over until then. :(
<bot>: I'm terrified that my gorgeous gentle giant of a girlfriend will realize that she deserves better than me when we finally meet up.