<human>: (M,30s) Wife of four years is (F,30s)

My wife frequently has strong emotional reactions in which she says very childish, offensive things for which she apologizes the next day. When we get in disagreements, I try to stay calm and explain my own rationale or dissuade her of the (usually unfounded) reasons that she gives. This is almost always a waste of everyone's time.

Per the usual advice given, I try to talk about her feelings rather than solve the problem. "That must make you angry" or "I can see why you feel that way" but this doesn't really help. She says I don't respect her feelings, which honestly is true. Her feelings cause her to say offensive, hurtful things or put me in contradictory situations where I think she will be mad regardless of what I do.

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: So how can feelings be respected? Is this just a code-phrase to mean "don't disagree with me or I'm going to throw a fit?"