<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

We are a still-new family that has come a long way over the past 2 years. Our child has been through a lot, has responded positively to boundaries and love, and is in a process of continuous improvement of both instigating and anti-social behaviors at school.

4-5 months ago, we were still having majorly escalated conflicts. Screaming kid, banging on walls, angry parents sucking at responding. 

We've gotten so much better. We have conflict, but it rarely escalates. Until tonight. 

Drilling in a bit to my own responsibility here - I was completely triggered by a rather relentless set of laser-focused comments from my 12 year old.  This was as lightly biting as being disrespectfully bossy all the way to big angry cussing and fussing. 

I absolutely 100% know that if I don't react, if I walk away, if I ignore it, then he almost always re-regulates, even apologizes, etc.  But I have such a triggered response.  I get more upset, get into a hell of a power struggle and we all end up feeling ashamed, disconnected and sad.  

How do you do this?  What is the road to letting things slide or answering them later with a consequence or connective conversation?  

Not proud that I made it worse this evening. 

Thanks.
<bot>: Too triggered by rude comments, eye rolls, etc. What do you do to stay in your power? 12 yo new to family who has shown awesome progress. My reactions aren't helping.