<human>: "This didn't happen today" disclaimer, as is tradition.

My dog had bad allergies and would lick and scratch all the time, so I liked to have Benadryl pills on hand. Problem is, it usually comes in these pain-in-the-ass blister packs and I wanted a more convenient container since my large dog required more Benadryl than a person could take, so I opened the blister pack and put the pills in a smaller pillbox for ibuprofen or something.

I had been sick with mono and got a respiratory infection on top of it, so I went to the doctor and got an antibiotic. Within minutes of taking the antibiotic, I started sneezing uncontrollably. I'm talking like for minutes straight. So now I'm thinking, "That was weird," and I'm becoming very hot and itchy. I look at my arms and they are all red and blotchy, look in the mirror and my face is swelling up. I frantically start looking for the Benadryl, but of course I'm looking for a pink blister pack and then can't remember which bottle I switched it into. 

At this point, my throat is itchy and swollen and I'm freaking out so I just get in my car to go to the nearby pharmacy. It's a rainy night so of course at the only red light in my way I get rear-ended by some teenager in a Jeep. I get out of the car looking like the [Elephant Man] and tell the kid to follow me to the pharmacy. He does, looking shocked as hell. I go in and buy Benadryl and take the maximum dose, go back out to the parking lot and get the kid's info, then go to the ER, where I am told that the wait time is 8 hours. I wait until it's safe to take a second dose and then leave. It took two days for the swelling to fully subside and for me to look human again.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: Played myself by switching pill bottles, then scared a new driver into thinking he'd made me into Elephant Man by rear-ending me.