<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

Confession: this actually happened before the birth of reddit, which is why I'm posting it now.

In case my username doesn't give it away, I'm a DJ. Years ago, my DJ partner was into flair bartending AS WELL as DJing (unfortunately he never did manage to figure out a way to spin bottles and records at the same time), and learned how to spit fire using either high-proof booze or lighter fluid. 

He taught me the basics and, figuring we knew what we were doing, decided to integrate some fire spitting into our DJ act. We had nifty tricks where we'd light the turntables on fire, our hands, etc. but the grand finale was a giant fireball blow over the crowd.

The nightclub we worked at had a raised DJ booth; about 3 feet off the ground. So we do our little fire spitting number, and I fuck up my blow. Pathetic fireball at best, most of the lighter fluid dribbles out of my mouth like the bad blow job I just gave, but whatever, the crowd goes wild.

5 seconds later I get a tug on my pant leg and look down to see a pissed-off looking girl.

"You lit my sister's hair on fire." She screams at me, pointing to said sister, a frightened-looking girl standing next to her stroking a Jasmine-sized bundle of ass-length hair.

"Uh, no I didn't." I counter.

"Yes, you did! You could have burnt her!"

"Well, I'm not sure how that's possible; fire goes up, not down, and her hair doesn't look damaged, so shove off."

Off they storm, and I go get a drink at the bar.

5 minutes later they come back, 2 bouncers and the owner in tow.

Fuck.

They explain their side, I explain my side, claiming that I OBVIOUSLY could not have lit her hair on fire (at least partly because there's NO damage visible and she wasn't on fire at the time), and yet somehow I ended up getting kicked out of the bar I worked at by the bouncers in the middle of the night, leaving my DJ partner to finish alone.
<bot>: Fucked up a blow job, which allegedly lit a girl's hair on fire, which got me kicked out of the club.