<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

I was a 12 year old boy and was playing at my friend's house who lived on an orchard. Star Wars Episode 1 just came out so we were obsessed, dressing like the characters and having plastic light saber fights on the trampoline. We started recording ourselves with a video camera chasing each other through the fields and jumping over the ditches and canals that water irrigated through. I was pretending to be Darth Maul and the only black shirt I could find was a netted fabric Raiders football t-shirt. My friend started recording me when I went to jump over a canal, but the surrounding trees were providing so much shade that I was unaware of the 3 rows of barbed wire suspended across the middle of my obstacle. I crashed into the barbed wires with all of my limbs spread out like a flying squirrel and the barbs that ended up making contact with my body started at my lower abdomen and sliced me all the way up my torso. And the barbs were spread out about one foot apart on the wire, which just so happened to be the exact same distance between my nipples. The 2 cuts were about 2 and a half feet long each spanning the entire front side of my body and miraculously split both of my nipples in half! Then to top it all off, I was left hanging there in mid-air just suspended by the netted fabric of my shirt that was caught in the barbed wire. My friend's mom helped me clean up while I cried the whole time, then I went to the hospital to get a bunch of Tetanus shots... ...Good times!  The best part is that in some closet wherever that friend lives now is a film of this incident! lol
<bot>: I jumped into barbed wire and the distance of the barbs on the wire was perfectly spaced to slice up both of my nipples!