<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

Hi Reddit,

This might be a stupid place to post this but I really have no idea where else to. And this might be a stupid reason to post but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask. In the past eight years I've been in ten relationships, all lasting various amounts of time, but at a minimum four months to about 3 years and in that whole time I've only been in love once at that was with my first girlfriend. 

She broke up with and completely blindsided me. I was 19 and devastated. After her I starting being a serial monogamist jumping from relationship to relationship. Ever since her I vowed to myself that I'll never get hurt again and shielded myself tight. 

I've cared deeply for my girlfriends since then, and even had all the feelings that you're meant to but it never amounts to any more than... well anything really. These days I'm actually quite apathetic towards the whole thing. I'll meet a beautiful girl, go on some dates, get all those familiar feelings, feel a strong connection and have lots of fun... then nothing. Absolutely nothing.

They always tell me they love me, and I can never say it back, not because I don't want to, but because I truly don't feel anything remotely close to it. I tried being single for a bit (about a year) and that changed nothing. I tried taking it really slow (waited a whole month for a first kiss!) and that did nothing either. 

And its really starting to bother me that I literally feel nothing. And no I'm not gay because I tried that too and it really wasn't for me. I'm happy in my personal life, have close friends and socialise so I'm not depressed. I really just want to feel again but I don't know how. It's like I've practised this poker face for too long and its kinda stuck. I've just started a new relationship and I'm afraid of hurting her because we were good friends before hand, and knowing me nothing will come of it.

Anyway some help would be much appreciated.

Thanks.
<bot>: I've been a multitude of relationships and ever since my first (who broke my heart) I promised myself never to hurt again. Was too successful and now haven't felt anything in a long long time.