<human>: I'm in the process of losing a lot a weight for my current role (circa 100lbs i.e. 1/2 my body weight) and to aid this have been prescribed Orlistat whose possible side effects include anal leakage, loose bowels and irregular bowel movements. 

To date I've not experienced anything except a little flatulence which though embarrassing on my weekly flight back to New York is nothing to bad.

Very early this morning I arrived on set having had a particularly heavy night of fatty food and beer with a bit of a tummy upset.  Cue uncomfortable spell in makeup then first few takes and finally the massive rumble that hit my gut...heard by the sound guy.  

I know that right now I need to shit and so bad. Cut the scene, open the door to the bathroom on set and dump and dump and dump.  The smell was appalling and it just keep on coming. I can hear mumbling outside and someone asks if I'm OK to which I say yes.   Finally I finish clean up and go to wash my hands at the sink.  No water.  I turn around and saw the biggest dump I have ever done sitting there filling the bowl to a good two inches above the water line .... and flush ... No water ... flush again... nothing 

Fuck fuck fuck

After what seemed like an age I called my PA who sheepishly stuck her head around the door and said the horrific lines...

"You know thats a set toilet and not plumbed in don't you"

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: I took the biggest dump ever on set in a bowl that wasn't plumbed in.  Film crew currently discussing how to deal with said dump as I hide in my trailer.