<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

I had a girlfriend once for about two months(Lol) all the way back in 2008, but I broke it off because I wasn't true to myself. or to her really, as I didn't even particularly like her, let alone love her. I just did it to fit in honestly, to my everlasting shame. All this being said, I admit to being a virgin, and this is where my hangups start to creep in. I've had a few chances to lose "it" actually, but haven't acted upon it, perhaps due to some misplaced sense of pride or integrity if you will, or maybe I''m just old-fashioned. In doing this, I've missed out on crucial developmental years others have partook in. I've tried online dating and stuff similar, and haven't even gotten my foot in the door for a date, much less something with actual tangible potential. Kinda confirming my suspicions I'm a below average or perhaps outright ugly male human. It also doesn't help that I'm quite a reserved individual, and I don't open up particularly easy to people initally. In short, I basically want to have my cake and eat it too. I have very limited interest in having sex just for the sake of having sex, but the longer this goes on the more of issue my lack of experience becomes, for me and for a great deal of women.
<bot>: Hung up on lack of experience with dating, sexual matters. Want something more than a late night fling, further prolonging the cycle of torment. Wondering where I should go from here?