<human>: I've been with my fiance [25M] for four years now and he knows I have major anxiety and abandonment issues because of past abuse.

We live in the apartment above my mom and dad which provides a lot of security knowing there's always someone there to keep me safe and protect me when I'm anxious and panicky.  They travel and go camping sometimes however so that just leaves me and my fiance.

When they're gone it's usually only for 3-4 days at a time and I've asked my fiance (who works from home) if he could please try to stay home with me while they're gone (instead of going to hang out with his friends, etc.) because when he and my parents are both gone it's extremely hard on me and my anxiety.  I also have a bad heart from other medical issues and the anxiety can stress my heart, which is obviously bad.

Knowing all this, he's still gone out both today and last week while my parents were gone.  I never outright asked him not to go because I felt too guilty to, but I spend a considerable amount of time sobbing and having panic attacks beforehand.  He felt bad about that, but still went.  Last week he came home (he generally comes back between 2-4 AM) to me crying and shaking and in a totally disconnected state from being so paranoid and anxious all night.  I'm afraid of what will happen to me tonight.

He doesn't go out with his friends that often to begin with, maybe 2-3 times a month, so I'd feel really bad keeping him from that but I wonder why he can't just try to reschedule to a day that would be less harmful for me, when my parents are home in case I need them.  I don't have any friends myself to keep me busy either.

Am I selfish and controlling for asking that of him?  Is he an asshole for knowing how harmful this is for me and leaving anyhow?  He won't be home for another 6-8 hours tonight, what do I do?  I already feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown :(

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<bot>: I have abandonment issues and my fiance still knowingly does stuff to seriously fuck with them.  I feel like a selfish and entitled bitch for wishing he'd be more accommodating, but still think he might be the one in the wrong sometimes.