<human>: Provide a brief overview of the text.

[Here] is a post I made a while back about the same person, and the situation continues. I have done a lot of thinking and come to the ends that I want a relationship. This poses an issue, because I'm not sure she does or is ready. Further complicating this issue is the fact we've been in a faux relationship for just about 2 years now. I say faux because she dated someone for a few weeks at one point, and we've never formalized anything. The other side of faux is the connection we have, and the things we do together.

I've been treating her as my girlfriend for 18mo or so, shes been accepting of it, and she reciprocates.

Along with many other mental issues I've been dealing with the unsuredness of this is wearing on me. Maybe I'm being silly. I feel stuck because I don't get to officially say that this very special person in my life is special, but I cannot look for someone else in good conscious. Additionally if I did find someone I wouldn't have nearly the time for her that I do now, and we spend a massive amount of time together. That change in what we have, well, I'm not sure what would happen.

We're both working in different parts of the state right now, and I'm going for a visit in the next 3-6 weeks, and I want to address this issue. I want to address it because she knows something is wearing on me, and I've put off telling her for a few reasons. The first is I've not been sure what I actually feel and want. The second is I don't want anything to change in a negative direction, it scares me. I realize I can't have everything. I'm wondering what the best way to talk about this is and work things out. I can only see a few distinct outcomes, probably because my mind is clouded and bias about the subject. I don't want to use any ultimatums, but that's what is coming to my head.
<bot>: I'm looking for the best way to talk with my friend about how to proceed with our very complicated relationship that is now causing me mental fatigue.