<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

My fiance and I were engaged for 1.5 years. I had moved away for work, as we were both struggling but making it work. He blames himself partly for what happened next, but I assure you I know where the blame belongs, so you can bash me, of course, but I know. Trust me, I know.

I cheated after confiding in someone when I should have confided in him. It wasn't about our relationship, but about work. But it was a huge fear I was having at work, something that was having a huge effect on me. He should have been the first and only person I leaned on. But I was an idiot. 

Our relationship ended. Four years later, we have been talking a and texting for two years. I love him so much, I know I will never find what we had again. We met up a few days ago. We held hands, kissed, and said the l-word. But an hour later when we were both driving opposite ways he said he doesn't see how he can try again. although it kills me, I understand.

Having said that.. Why does he keep text conversations going? I can politely say "Have a goodnight." Or something similar and instead of no response or an obligatory "You too" I get "Man, I'm really hungry. What should I eat?" "You should be here to try these burgers I just grilled." Or any number of things that kind of keep the texting going. Not to mention the "Mm I remember when you used to walk around in a shirt and nothing else. "

Its KILLING me. And he knows this. I've told him how hard this is. I told him everything and been honest about how much I still love him. Sometimes I try to annoy him so that he will make the choice to stop talking to me, but he has said he knows that's what I'm doing and it won't work. I don't trust myself to break all ties. But I really need to, and I know that, but **why** is he doing it?
<bot>: I cheated on ex fiance four years ago. We talk occasionally. I try to cut conversations short, and he either keeps them going or, worse, gets flirty. Why does he do that?