<human>: i'm a 27 y/o male with a 29 y/o female in a four year relationship.
i believe this relationship has been over for a long time. at least two years. neither of us have any friends, are completely codependent, and rarely have any conversations of note. all we talk about is daily banalities, and our jobs which we both hate, and have no interest in talking to each other about. we've talked about this before, tried to change things, and mix it up, but nothing ever sticks. ultimately i think she is very happy sitting around 'playing house' and not doing anything, meanwhile i'm jumping out of my skin. we're still together and i think we're are simply holding each other back at this point.
 

she sort of gave up on her dreams a few years ago, and has pretty much pinned all her happiness on being married and having kids. now, i'm not opposed to either of those things (though as i've gotten older i'm more and more opposed to having kids), but i'm under no illusions that either will 'fix my life'. i've seen countless first hand examples (friends, siblings) who do this, and it always ends in disaster. i can't live with this weight of something i don't want, which rests entirely on my shoulders.

also, even if i was happy, and in a good place in life, i don't think i would want to marry her. we are just so different at this point. when we got together we were in line, and i feel like we've totally grown apart.

another thing that kills me is two years ago she had an abortion. we both agreed on it, but i definitely feel like she might have done it because i didn't want it. but i don't know for sure.

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: feeling guilty about wanting to leave, she had a abortion a few years ago which doesn't help. want to be on my own to get my life in order.