<human>: Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?

Boy, did I fuck up today. 

Well, to start things off, let me give you a bit of background on the story: I'm currently a freshman in college, and I recently went through a rather miserable break up. During my 'mourning period', I met and began messing around with this girl (whom we'll refer to as Jane). Jane was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend of over a year (I'm THAT fucking guy, I guess) so we began having sex to...balance the playing field, I suppose you could say. 

**Now on to the fuck up:** Jane came over today to 'watch a movie' in my dorm room, which had become the lingo among our friends to say we were gonna have sex, and sure enough, we did. What you must understand is that my bed is a bunk bed, lifted ~5.5ft off the ground. She had trouble finding a way to get down, so I told her to jump in my arms. As she did, I caught her, but stumbled and dropped her on the hard-as-fuck tile floor, on her already-broken and/or sprained wrist. She essentially told me we were done, and I'm now left with good ol' leftie.
<bot>: Dropped my fuck-buddy on a tile floor, possibly breaking her wrist, if it wasn't already. Got blue-balls and lost her all in about five seconds.