<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

Happened Saturday. 

Being the couch crashing nomad I am, I often find myself crashing in various different places, one of which happens to be my cousin's apartment, which she is barely ever in because she stays over her boyfriend's place most nights. It's usually a pretty comfortable place to crash, comfy couch, big screen TV, and all the booze one could ever hope for. I usually stay there a couple of times each month, and don't really need much notice. I have my own key too, so it's basically been established that I can just go there whenever I need to so long as I call first.

This particular night, I had a craving to smoke; however, I have a little dilemma: I don't have a lighter. 

With no nearby delis or stores open, I start looking around the apartment, as my cousin is a former smoker and also enjoys burning incense, so I figured there had to be a lighter nearby. 

Without even thinking, I start looking around random drawers, and open up her bedside drawer thinking one might be in there. Mistake.

To say that there were a lot of dildos in that drawer, of varieties I didn't even know existed, is to say that The Pope might be religious… it's a fucking understatement. 

There had to be at least 10 of them in there, in every shape, size, and color imaginable.

As soon as I realized what was in there, I screamed something to the tune of, "Holy fuck!" and immediately slammed the drawer shut in horror and shock. I like to think of myself as a pretty reasonably sexually enlightened person, but that definitely caught me WAY off guard. 

Lesson learned: Don't go snooping around someone else's apartment. You may not like what you find.
<bot>: Crashed at a relatives apartment while they were out, went searching for a lighter, found a draw full of sex toys instead