<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

Last night/this morning me and some friends were drinking and partaking in the heavy use of amphetamines and hallucinogens. We start getting the itch to go out and go to some bars etc and whatever else is on the strip just to talk our asses off maybe dance a little bit and stuff. 

My good buddy Steev is driving us down to city center but the thing is he's freaking out because his mind is in another dimension so he ends up driving my fucking car off the road and hits a Rotary Club sign. Now my Mercedes SUV is all sorts of fucked up, I'm pissed I let this asshole drive my car, so I start screaming for them to get the fuck out and start walking back to my place while I try  to drive this busted piece of junk home.

I'm at a 4 way stop and BOOM! Blue lights man. The police. He pulls me over, my pupils are dilated; the size of Sasha Grey's asshole, tells me to get out of the car, I get out and BOOM! A wad of cash, $500 in $20's falls out of my shirt pocket. Cop tells me to pick it up, I immediately thought it would be witty and sick to insist that he keep it and let me off on my way.

No fucking chance. Cop hocks a loogie on my wad of cash, and stuffs it back in my shirt. A grey, smoky cigarette smoked laced loogie.

I get busted with DWI, my BAC was just a smidge over .08, and I spent a few hours in the holding tank at the station. Nothing about the other extracurricular activities I had partaken in. No bribery charges. Posted bail, taxi home. I still haven't slept yet, and I have no idea where my friends are. I'm scared to go to the impound and see my car.

So now I'm recollecting my thoughts by the pool, writing this fuck up and putting feelers out on Craigslist for a casual encounter that I can let out some stress on or inside... Hell of a past 36 hours...
<bot>: got messed up on many substances, got pulled over, tried to bribe cop, got spit on by said cop, arrested. Cars screwed up. Don't know where my friends are. Haven't slept in 36 hours.