<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

After reading the TIFU post about the person who broke a sliding glass door at a hotel, it jogged my memory to a somewhat-similar incident that happened to me some years ago.

*unrolls story time carpet*

Let's set the scene. I'm out in the middle of Nowhere, USA, partying with some friends at a friend's house. It's a warm summer night, the booze is flowing, and good times are being had by all. Obviously, since it's summer time, we're all outside on the back porch or down in the yard around the bonfire. 

At some point, I drunkenly wander into the house for what reason, I cannot remember. More beer? Bathroom break? Hell if I know. It's irrelevant. For context and illustration, there's a sliding screen door wall in the kitchen that leads to the back patio. This is where the FU happened.

I finish doing whatever the hell I was doing, make my way back through the kitchen, and approach the screen door to return outside. This is where I learned, yet again, that copious amounts of alcohol impairs your judgement, perception, and motor skills.

I don't know if I tripped, or if I forgot that it was closed, but before I knew it, I made a spectacle of an entrance by crashing through the damn thing like the damn Kool-Aid Man. The WHOLE screen door goes flying out onto the patio, with my drunk ass stumbling through behind it. I ping ponged off the side of the house and stumbled to a stop. Not even an appropriate "OOH YEAAH!" The whole patio got silent and every head whipped around towards my direction. I look down, as I'm leaning up against the house and taking stock of the situation and I see the screen door is still in one piece. Screen still intact and all. I was surprised and mentally commended my friend for his choice in screen material. I guess I popped the whole thing out of the track and nothing more. I didn't feel as bad after that. Laughs were had and my friends didn't let me live it down for awhile. After that, I made sure to really pay attention when I used that door.
<bot>: Alcohol turned me into a bumbling buffoon and I made a Kool-Aid man entrance through a screen door.