<human>: A (20 F) crush of mine recently started dating another man. (I had not told her my feelings, so technically no breakup.)

I have the feeling that she is dating him, and not me, because he is older (mid-30s), well-traveled, somewhat more financially established than I am, rides a motorbike, works on his own car. In short, is pretty well into manly-man territory.

I'm taller than him (6' 2.5"), and have a full beard that I try to keep groomed, but otherwise don't quite fit the mold. For instance, I'm thinking of getting a PhD in Signal Processing or some related field after I finish my Master's in Engineering. But I'm still working on getting my driver's license, am not exactly well-traveled, couldn't fix a car if my life depended on it, am dealing with an ass-ton of depression and schitzoaffective disorder, and am also very overweight.

The weight I am trying to change through diet and exercise, for cosmetic reasons. However, I think the other stuff lies outside my nature.

So my question is:

Most women, from what I have read, are attracted to confidence. How can I be an attractive badass if I'm not particularly manly, and may not be in the future? Can a mathematician who does comics in his spare time ever by a "bad boy"?

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: lost my crush to a manly man, need to know how to be psychologically attractive like him, even though our interests don't overlap, to avoid having this happen again