<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

So I am fairly new to romantic relationships in general. The girl I am seeing goes to another college about 2 hours away. She has a lot of guy friends, including her best friend, which I am ok with. We'll call him J. What bothers me is two things. 1.) She used to date J for a brief period of time, until he started see other girls, she wanted something exclusive, so they broke up. They remained close friends 3 years since. 2.) She idolizes him. She talks about how he is the ideal romantic parter (save for the unfaithfulness). She told me this before we were in a relationship. 

She called me up last night, the conversation lasted about a minute, and then she abruptly told me she had to leave. I found out later that J had shown up while she was talking to me and she decided it would be rude to have him wait while she was on the phone (I kind of get that, but some sort of explanation would have been nice). It made me feel pretty shitty. She called back a few hours later and talked about she hadn't had so much fun hanging out with him in a long time, how they made each other laugh the whole night. I felt shittier. 

Here is my dilemma. I don't think they are doing anything romantic together, per se, but I think that she is settling for me. I fear that she thinks he would be perfect if he were only more interested in a serious relationship. Should I ask her if this is true? How should I bring this up to her? I already let her know that I am not super comfortable with her hanging out with J, but I trust her, and will not dictate what friends she can have.
<bot>: Girl I'm seeing still hangs out with ex. I fear she might still have feelings for him. Should I be concerned?