<human>: My story: F[35] in a relationship with current bf[m/35] for over a year. We love each other dearly. He gave me a promise ring, he tells me he loves me all the time, I feel the same about him. 
Now, I've been around for some time and have had a few failed relationships. My last bf lied and cheated on me, was abusive and had mental illness. I was too blind to notice at first and then was in denial for a long time. So, I came out very hurt and my trust in men was almost completely destroyed.

My current bf who I feel is the love of my life has an ex in his past that he is unwilling to let go of. He claims they are just friends, that I have nothing to fear and gets upset if I say anything to indicate how insecure their relationship makes me feel. He is not upfront about them keeping in touch and only admits to it after I ask. The biggest red flag to me was when he hid a Xmas card she sent him. (He later told me he hid it because he didn't want to upset me.) 

The whole thing just makes me uneasy. There may well be nothing going on between them and I know I have issues but am I too old for this? How do I continue to live in this constant fear that something may happen between them and he will continue to hide it from me as not to hurt me? Some days I feel like it's my fault for feeling like this, some days I feel like he is not 100% honest even with himself about what he actually wants with his ex.

Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?
<bot>: I am afraid my bf is not telling himself and me the truth about the nature of his relationship with his ex. What do I do?