<human>: So the titles says it all. a month ago I found out that I have advanced melanoma. I am scared because the only person in my life who actually kind of gives a shit about me is my boyfriend. I have no friends. before I met him I was a complete loner.

The problem is our relationship has always been a roller-coaster of emotions. One day he loves me and is extremely affectionate, the other day he just ignores me completely. I tried talking to him about it and he said that he'll try to change and go to therapy but nothing happened. Sometimes I question whether or not he really cares about me. He is always an argument away from leaving, so I always try to not get into any arguments, because it always makes him want to leave me. It has happened before and he left but I always beg him to come back.

I thought that maybe my diagnosis would somehow make him a different person for the time I have left. But nothing has changed. Yes he's more affectionate but he still has those episodes where he completely shuts me out and treats me like shit. and it makes me feel really bad and stressed out.

I want to leave him, but I don't want to die alone. I would rather kill myself now than wait it out and die alone.

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: I have cancer..my bf shuts me out a lot..but I am scared of dying alone so i don't want to leave.