<human>: I have already told that I have problems with commitment in this relationship (

Basically I have wanted to be single for a long time, and I don't know how to go on with my relationship. Couple of days ago I did the thing I feared I could do. I was abroad with friends and we got super drunk. At 8 am one of my friends (22/M) and I were still awake and decided to go to a park to drink the last beers. Before going to sleep, outside our hostel dorm, I said to him "please don't tell anyone about this" and kissed him. That was all, and I'm glad that it didn't go further, but still, it was cheating and I was selfishly hurting my boyfriend.

The worst part is not the kiss itself but the fact that I have a huge crush on the guy I kissed. I can't think of anything but him. The kiss was super short and I have only blurry memories of it, but it keeps me up at night because it was so excitingly wonderful. 

The thing between the guy and me is completely over now (if there even was one), because I know an affair would be a horrible choice and changing boyfriends would be almost as bad and it wouldn't help me with my biggest problem.

I have noticed that I am helplessly addicted to crushing on people and to have new relationships. It just gives me feelings so strong I can't sleep at night and my heart is racing, and it feels better than anything else in the world. I just cannot reach the feeling with my boyfriend, who nowadays annoys me to no end and feels dull, stupid and non-fitting for me.

I don't exactly know what kind of advice I want. Has anyone similar feelings? Feel free to bash me, cheating is the worst and I hate myself right now.

Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?
<bot>: I kissed another guy and now I can't stop thinking about him. I don't know what's going to happen in my relationship.