<human>: i have a friend (with benefits?) and we're both intense people. it gets into our friendship and there will be periods of time where everything is "normal" before we start getting under each others skin. this usually ends up in some sort of nasty fight or us fucking, usually both. i think it's caused me to develop some sort of weird crush on him.

i told someone close to me recently about the situation and she says that she doesn't think it's very healthy. he's the only guy i've ever experimented with and i think we've grown too close too fast. we've seen each other at our worsts (example: i was recently diagnosed with major depression after having an impressive breakdown. he talked to me over the phone until i fell asleep on my couch). i can't go a day without talking to him or else i get depressed and anxious, but when i'm with him i'm in this weird (almost manic?) angry-happy state. is this chemistry or toxicity or something inbetween? if i have to leave, how do i do it without destroying myself?

sorry if this isn't clear enough.

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<bot>: i might be in a toxic relationship with my best friend. someone told me to cut him off. i tried but i can't.