<human>: Can you provide a brief overview of the text?

For the past few months I've been dating this guy who's genuinely a really nice guy and he's been making me realise I'm not as nice as I thought I was. For example, I accidentally used the word 'nigga' at a dinner table once, because he made me laugh and we were just joking around and I said 'nigga pls' in a funny accent. He got pretty serious and said it's a disrespectful word. I agree, and since then I legitimately haven't said it. I feel awful I even did once!

Also, I've realised I'm pretty shallow. I can see whenever I feel threatened by a girl who's prettier than me, I'll automatically point out the bad parts about her. I don't want to do this anymore, I want to be nice and sweet, and understand that there are girls much prettier than me and I need to accept it.

This guy I'm dating has an ex-girlfriend, and I've been on her Facebook many times. All I can think about is the BAD stuff that there is about her. Like if I see a selfie, I'll try to make myself feel better by pointing out her mistakes. I really want to stop. I want to be able to see her and not feel bad about myself, you know? I'd much rather be able to say we're both good-looking without feeling like shit. I don't think I'm ugly, and people often tell me I'm attractive so I shouldn't be this insecure. I have big hips though and big breasts and I'm more on the average weight and his ex is pretty skinny so this could be why? 

I'm just sick of being this shallow bitch. I want to be nicer. I want to be confident in my own skin, and confident enough to know I don't need to bring others down. I really don't want to do that.

I can also be selfish and jealous, a LOT. It's just getting tiring. I want to change the way my brain works.
<bot>: I feel as though I'm a shitty, insecure person and I want to change. I want to be nicer and more confident, and not have to bring other's down. I'm a shallow shithead and I want to change.