<human>: I met him two years ago. The beginning of our relationship was lovely. And I fell in love. I suppose he did to - at least that's what he said.
 
Then he hurt me. And he hurt me terribly like 5 times - those were big things, including cutting contact for months. Not to mention the small things that were painful but seem so irrelevant compared to the bigger ones.

Now obviously, I should have just ended it the first or the second time, but I couldn't. I fell in love already, I loved him, and whatever he would do, no matter how much it hurt or mothered me, I would try to defend his actions, to rationalize them, to make up a good reason. I tried to believe he loved me.

I'm now doubting that, but that doesn't matter.

I loved him. I stopped.

But now I'm so hurt, so angry. And I can't let it go. I used to think about him all day because I loved and missed him - now I think about him all day because I hate him so much and I enjoy thinking about the bad situations in his life, it makes me happy.

And yes, that makes me a bitch, but I don't care. I'm too hurt to think about him any other way.

Now this is not new, he hurt me like 2 years ago for the first time. And since then, I've been in constant pain. It's just that now the love that made me forgive him, tolerate the bullshit and accept his bad sides (there are no good ones that he's shown me tbh) is gone, and all that's left is pain and anger. 

How to deal with it?
And of course, how to get rid of it?

:(

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: Ex hurt me terribly. Now I'm  in pain and angry. How to deal with, and get rid of negative feelings?