<human>: Yes. You guessed it. This actually happened quite a long time, dating back a decade or so, and since I only discovered reddit recently (I live in asia), I didn't share it with large amounts of people except for my close friends.

A little contextual information: Im from asia, mentioned previously, (im from macau more specifically, although ill doubt you know where that really is) and I speak cantonese and english.

I was around the age of 7 or 8 when the FU occured and it was in the shower room where it took place. My family didn't own a bathtub or anything special, so growing up, I had a standard standing type shower room where I just stood under the showerhead and let the water pour all over me. The problem was that I would get tired from standing up and eventually, I would resort to sitting down on the floor, under the faucet. It soon became a habit as sitting down and daydreaming was an addicting non ending cycle. Here is when my poop grew an extra chromozome because shit was about to go down. On one day, I was prepared to do the same; however, I didn't realize that there was a shampoo bottle right under the faucet and unknowingly, I sat right on top of it. It was fucking brutal. The head of the shampoo bottle went straight up my ass and while giving anal is fun, receiving it was quite the contary and to add oil to fire, I received it from a fucking shampoo bottle head. I knew right at that point, what gay sex felt like. The excrutiating pain was enough for me to go batshit crazy and run out into the living room bare naked with my small dick (still small till this day) swinging 360. My parents was panicing as to what the fuck just happened and I explained quickly in cantonese to what just happened.

At that time, I felt like they were feeling all sorry for me but now thinking back, they probably thought it was the funniest shit that ever happened. Luckily for me, they never remembered it happened, however the self-anal experience dug deep into me and never really went away. Basically, I was scarred to life.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: As a kid I always liked to sit down while showering, one time managed to sit on a shampoo bottle, fucking analed myself