<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

This fuckup actually happened about nine months ago, but it came back to haunt me today. Rewind back to the first week of my freshman year of college. Classes were just beginning and the workload was still nonexistent, so my roommate and I were enjoying a blessed period in which we got to enjoy all of the fun parts of college without any of the work.

Being inexperienced freshman, we tried our best to get into house parties every night to see if someone would give us, like, a beer to share between us or something. We struck out several nights in a row (we even went to the wrong address once and ended up at some Indian girls club meeting), but one night we hit it big. We found our way into a house party that looked like something out of the movies: tons of booze, loud music, people taking bong rips right in the living room... I was pretty pumped. 

At one point in the night, I found myself sitting oh a couple of really cute girls. I was already in a relationship at the time, so I wasn't pursuing anything, but I was trying to be friendly, and I certainly didn't mind their attention. After talking for a while, I asked them what their names were. The first one told me her name was Charlotte.

Here's where I have to make an quick plug for myself: this was maybe my fourth time drinking, ever.

So, in my drunken state, I turned to her friend and shouted over the music, "SO THAT MUST MAKE YOU WILBUR?"

Yup. I just called this girl the pig from Charlotte's Web. 

I immediately received looks of disgust from everyone in earshot. Both girls got up and left, furious, and I took my drunk self back to the dorms.

Fast forward to today. I got a summer job as a lifeguard in my college town. There's a coffee shop just a block away that I usually hit up on my break, because let's face it, lifeguarding is one of the least mentally stimulating jobs available, and staying awake can be a real bitch.

So I pulled up to my favorite coffee stand, and guess who's making my coffee today? 

That's right. Fucking Wilbur. She didn't forget.
<bot>: got drunk at a party, called a girl a pig on accident, now she works at Dutch Bros and probably spits in my coffee.