<human>: So, I'm lactose intolerant. I'm sure you already see why this is a fuck up, but normally ice cream is A OK. So this time I tried a new ice cream, a drumstick. For those of you who have never had a drumstick, it's vanilla ice cream with fudge inside, covered in fudge and peanuts on a waffle cone, they're easily 8/10 without rice. 

So the ice cream was delicious and I thought everything was great, til a few hours later I was out for a walk with my brother and my guts started turning. It felt like an earthquake inside my stomach and intestines. At that point I knew I needed to get home. When I got home, I had the runs. I'm not talking regular runs, I'm talking advanced runs, like watery yellow shit runs. For the rest of the night I had an upset stomach.
The next day (today) I was alright, til about midday when I got a bad stomach again, and next thing you know I'm on the crapper again.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: NEVER try new ice cream if you're lactose intolerant. You will get turbo shits. Oh, and that ice cream couldn't even be a 1/10, even with rice.