<human>: TIFU: I'm an 18 y/o college student home for the summer. Also, this happened like half an hour ago and I can't sleep, so now I'm writing this basking in the horror of what just happened... anyways. So I was in my room just finishing up my "nightly ritual" and I wanted something to drink. I'm completely naked, stumbling through my pitch-black house trying to find the kitchen. My family has drastically changed the layout of our furniture while I was at school, so I didn't have the confidence to walk straight to the kitchen blind. Little did I know, the family dog was asleep in the middle of the living room. I trip over her, and stumble a bit and have no idea which direction I'm facing, so I walk forward until I stub my toe on the corner of the couch and again trip only to have my junk flop into my mother's face. 

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! She must have fallen asleep on the couch and AHHHHHH I can't stop imagining what just happened :(

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I tripped naked over my dog in the dark and tea-bagged my mom who fell asleep on the couch.