<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

Hello Reddit. Time for a genuine fuck-up!

So this all happened yesterday. I'm currently in a Hotel in Miami, so of course I thought it'd be a good idea to rub one out whilst I was here. I was getting pretty into it, and when it came time to unleash dude juice, I lunged for the toilet bowl ready to dispose of my splooge in one easy motion by taking a shit afterwards. What I did not anticipate was the pain I'd feel, as I miscalculated the approach and ended up hitting my danglers against the rim of the toilet bowl, HARD. I began writhing in pain, all throughout this commotion there was a wet towel on the ground. I slipped on said towel, and landed on my back, which prompted me to black out. 

I must have been out for a few hours, as I was awoken by the cleaning lady, knocking at the door. It must have looked like a really odd crime scene, me strewn out on the floor, completely naked with jizz on my stomach.
<bot>: Jerking off in a hotel, trying to splooge in the toilet but ended hitting my balls against the toilet and blacked out, to wake up hours later.