<human>: If im in a hurry and need to take a shit, ill decide to pull the trigger on it depending on the importance of where im headed, and varying degrees of comfort.  But sometimes holding it is impossible thus I have to go right away.  Why is it almost every time this happens I'll shit and it will take 5 minutes, and a half a roll of toilet paper to get my asshole clean?  When im not in a hurry and im just laying around the house ill shit and wipe and nothing will come off on the paper. One and done.  If by chance I am home and I know its gonna take half a roll ill just hop in the shower and clean up.  Nothing worse than continuing your day with a raw ass.

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: Why when I take a shit when something important is going on does it takes half a roll, but when nothing is going on ill wipe and nothing will come off on the paper. This annoys the fuck out of me.