<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

I'll be as succinct as possible. My first love and only man I've dated seriously. Been dating off and on for 4 years. Longest stint apart: 2 years. Longest stint together: 1.5 years. He wanted to move back to his home state and then split with me, he still lives in home state and we are long distance, plans to move back by winter. I graduate college in winter.

There are times when I feel he is the love of my life. And then there are times where I couldn't feel further apart. My mind wanders to thoughts of dating others, to just even being single again. There are times where I feel he is the one and there are times I have this voice telling me he isn't the one. It's a square peg in a round hole. I get emotionally clingy to him at times and totally numb and distant at others. 

What is going on? Am I forcing this too much? I know emotion is fickle and that it can be fleeting so every time I just don't feel into it I just work my way back to feeling in love with him. Its work but I know relationships are work. 

Is this normal? I have no reference or experience with this. Is it just fickle emotions going back and forth or is there something wrong? Is my gut telling me to go for a reason or is just adjusting to being with someone long term?
<bot>: Been together off and on 4 years, my emotions toward him range from head over heels to totally numb and out of love. Is this normal fickle emotion or sign of a deeper problem?