<human>: I don't really have an issue. I just need some attention. Pretty lame to try and get some here, but whatever. 

I was rejected by a girl when I was 9yo and I think because of that I lost self confidence and interest for girls until I was 17yo. Once when I was 14yo in summer camp I met a nice girl whose friends told me that she liked me. I made fun of her and rejected her. I was mean.

I just didn't cared about them. They seemed mysterious, inaccessible and otherworldly. By the time I turned 17 I got to my senses and finally realised I was attracted to girls. I was not very sociable and I was scared of them. I was awkward and incapable to talk to them as I saw every girl as a potential girlfriend. By 20yo I realised they weren't that inaccessible. 

Now I can talk to them without being awkward and one of my best friends is a girl. But I feel depressed. I have such expectations. Fuelled by movies and dreams. They can't be met. I never experienced love in any way. And I'm just depressed about that.

Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?
<bot>: I feel like I'm lagging behind in terms of relationships. Also Love isn't like anything we're told it is.