<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

Basically I started to date my ex g/f in January after over a year of not seeing each other [we have about 9 years of history and were each others' first loves - there is definitely a lot of underlying attachment here]. 

We weren't exclusive and I knew she was seeing some other dude, but a couple days before we were set to go on vacation together (at the end of March) she told me that they were "official".

When we returned I basically cut her out of my life and tried to keep her away. I took the time I needed to digest all that, deal with the re-hurt, etc and now I've begun to get my emotional life back together. 

FF to tonight, she's calling me again and trying to be part of my life, despite the fact that she still has that boyfriend. She, "misses me sometimes."

I don't know what I need - maybe your support, maybe your advice, but it bothers me that she can't just leave me alone and/or be emotionally honest with herself (and love me) (at least that's how I see it). If she didn't love me deep down, wouldn't she just let me go? I can't live with her (because I can't have her), but I don't want to live without her (I could, just don't want to).  I'm okay, but it's frustrating as hell. Your wisdom is appreciated.
<bot>: First loves break up (for a while), start to see each other again briefly, she bails for another dude, but still wants to be part of my life... WTF