<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

I'll try to keep this short and sweet.  

We've been together for almost 10 years.  I'm 31, he is 32, no assets, no kids, lots of debt and one cat.  I love him, always thought we'd stay together forever.  He loves me with all his heart.  

But we've grown apart.  I'm not the person he married. I've matured and grown. He's the same person I married, irresponsible and more into partying then being an adult.  Our life goals no longer align. He says he wants what I want, but his actions show other wise.  

I'm not in love with him anymore.  I would have liked to make this marriage work, but after years of trying, and his refusal to go to counseling, I'm done.

I blame him because of his actions, but ultimately it's my fault because I've stayed as long as I have.  He's not accepting of me wanting things differently, yet doesn't put out effort to grow with me.  I know I don't need his permission to leave, but he argues and cries to the point of holding me mentally and emotionally hostage.  

How do I make him understand that this marriage is over?  Is there a way not to blame him?
<bot>: Husband and I no longer see eye to eye, yet husband refuses to accept that or put out effort to change. Marriage is over.