<human>: TIFU
I live in a rather rainy part of the world, especially in the summer. We have kept our trashcan in the same spot for as long as I can remember and never had any problems with it. But today, as I went to take the trash out I noticed it was exceptionally heavy and could barely move it. We had a party this weekend so I thought maybe there was too much trash in it.

So I opened it up and started taking bags out. I then noticed the water filling up about half of the can...and it stunk. I had to dump it out. So I push as hard as I can and it finally topples on its side and out rushes the filth, flooding the side yard and soaking anything that was not already soaked before, including the lower half of my body. 

I pulled out the bags to make sure all of the water was out, but noticed that the 3 or 4 bags at the very bottom were completely full of water and trash. In my half trash soaked state I waddle into the garage and grab a pair of scissors to poke holes in the bags. 

While draining the bags I see bits of decomposing food float out and start gagging. I held it in with everything in me and tried to get this disgusting mess to the curb. As it drained little bits of brownish water splashed onto various parts of my body and I felt like I wasn't breathing fresh air. I finally get to the last bag and as I stab it, a burst of disgusting water shoots straight at my chest. As another wave of gagging rushes over me I throw every piece of trash that I could muster up the courage to touch into the can and take it down to the curb as fast as possible.

Commence the burning hot shower with scrubbing 3 times and the clothes burning. I can't walk over to my side yard without flashbacks rushing over me due to the rancid smell. Thanks mother nature, lesson learned.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: trashcan filled with rain, made a nice brew of trash tea, went to dump it out, became soaked in the tears of rotting garbage. But I didn't puke, so I got that going for me