<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

It's a real struggle for me, we've been broken up for almost three months now.

We had only been dating for about half a year, but had been very close for a long time before dating, to the point where a lot of people believed she was cheating on her boyfriend with me(she was not)

So by the midpoint of our relationship we were already planning the next several years of our lives together(to an extent) because I travel so much, and she dreamed of traveling so planned all this stuff out, and honestly our relationship was an almost obsessive fixation(I realize that in hindsight)

She cheated on me, and had to tell me because she got pregnant from it(and she later miscarried) Did I mention she cheated on me with a close friend? It was more than angering, especially since they thought it would fix it if they offered to name the child after me, and asked me to officiate the wedding if they decided to get hitched.

What's more even though we had broken up she still wanted us to stay the same emotionally speaking, and to this day seems to not understand in the slightest what she did wrong to me.

I don't want her back. Oh no no no. I'd prefer to die than debase myself to that extent, but that doesn't change the fact that I am haunted by her memory.

Since we broke up I've gone on so many casual dates with many women both my age, slightly younger, and slightly older. I've been offered relationships and casual sex(although I don't do that), and I can't do it.

I'm really good at not showing it, but a lot of times when taking these women out I flashback to a moment I had with my ex, and it hurts a ton, but I'm able to keep a perfect facial expression.
<bot>: Had a serious relationship with a girl, she cheated on me, I would never take her back, but on an emotional level I am still not over her, even with the many amazing women in my life.