<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

I have many, I think i became a cliche throughout middle school and high school, so I will just give 2 to start.

1) 7th grade, wore white jeans (this was back when white jeans were in style (showing my age).  You can guess what happened.  I started my period.  I don't need to go into gross details, but it was only the 3rd class of the day and I had to walk around with a jacket tied to my waist the whole day.

2) Over the years, and looking back, this has become my favorite.  I was 13 and in the 9th grade.  I was not even interested in sex yet, i was still at the stage where talking out loud about it embarrassed me to holy hell.  We had done this "save the swamp" thing as an entire 9th grade class and they were airing it on our local PBS station, late at night.  I volunteered to tape it (yes, my age again, VHS tapes).  I brought it to my social studies class and we watched it.  When it finished and before my teacher could turn it off, it went directly into my fathers porn.  I had picked the wrong unlabeled tape!  I was mortified and made fun of for months (as they claimed it was my porn).  This is well before the internet and porn became so, um, popular with the kids.
<bot>: I started wearing white jeans, i taped something for class over dads porn and while viewing it, it went straight to the porn.