<human>: Im an accomplished professional, married with 3 kids. I have pretty much everything what an upper middle class family can afford, both materialistically and spiritually. Yet there is one thing still chasing me from the childhood and i simply cannot overcome it. 

In short, I was 11 when our parents separated. It was a very dramatic and disgusting  divorce as i remember. Our parents and their close relatives tried everything they could to damage one another's reputation in front of their children ( my brother and I). During the final court hearing, I voiced my wish to live with my father and the wish was granted.

Soon, my father remarried and had another child, I was 14 by that time. Constant friction between my stepmother and I continued escalating literally until I moved out his house at the age of 20.

After countless hours of self analysis I have come to a conclusion that my father has been verbally abusing me all my life. All I have are negative memories of his verbal abuse. Name calling was very common, but no profanity. "You stupid idiot" was his famous one. I have never heard him praising me yet he was very generous pointing out my problems and failures. What a sure way to raise an insecure child.

Now, fast forward, he has turned me into a successful person, full of anger towards himself, I'm hardly happy with my accomplishments and display traits of perfectionism. Financially, he's very unstable. Every time I take an opportunity to help, he turns me down just the way he's been turning me down all my life. At 34, I have completely gone the opposite route from him, when we meet I have nothing to talk to him about  and what really bothers me is that I should accept things the way they are and have some kind of a closure and yet I don't and I can't. All I want is that healthy father son relationship at the present moment that I've never had.

I feel like I need a professional therapy and should just quit trying to self help. Reddit is my last attempt.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: My father is a very pessimistic person. My entire life he's been brining me down instead of providing guidance. How can I held myself to come in acceptance with his character and move on with my life?