<human>: The basics are, i'm 21 year old guy in college and broke up with / got dumped by my girlfriend about 8 months ago after an 8 month relationship, my first real girlfriend.  We've had almost no contact during that time.  I went out to a bar with my friends last night and saw her there towards the end of the night, she didn't see me.  I immediately felt my face turn red, my heart started pounding and it felt like i couldn't breath right.  Looking back im pretty sure it was a panic attack (i'm prone to those when i'm under stress).  I think i felt embarassed / ashamed cause i know shes been with someone since me even though i also know it didnt end well for her and i really haven't, but not for lack of trying.  But my problem is that tonight is a mutual friends 21 shots party out at a local bar.  I know all of my friends are going so it leaves me with two options as far as i can tell.  Go and have to deal with all of the shame / embarasement of seeing her there and whatever annoying physical response my body decides to torture me with (this honestly scares me alot), or stay home on a friday night by myself, hating myself for running from this and letting her dictate what i do.  I feel like im stuck, because to me both options sound equally horrible and unfortunately there really isn't a third choice.  I want to be over her and have wanted to be over her since day 1, but like i said i still freak out when i see her and its been 8 months, any advice from anyone would be helpful.  Thanks for reading anyway.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I don't think i'm over my ex, but i want to be over her, and don't know if going to a party that i know she'll be at will hurt me or help me.