<human>: I met this guy when we were 18. He's was always very shy and I never really showed much affection. His shyness was always a huge turn off for me. I'm sure the fact that I never let him hold my hand or touch me didn't help him feel more relaxed around me. It was a vicious cycle.. I never let my guard down and was turned off by his timidness, and he was always timid because of the way I am. 

I dropped it after a couple of months because it wasn't getting any better. I thought maybe I just wasn't into him, even thought I was pretty sure I was. So I dated a few other guys, and nothing. I was still this affection less human being. 

So I gave the original guy another chance. I informed him of my discovery, and he confirmed it. He was walking around egg shells with me because he couldn't read me. Fast forward a whole bunch of years with a whole bunch of me dropping him for a bunch of different other reasons. Of course, every time we'd get back together we'd explain what pissed us off in the first place and try to fix it moving forward. 

I just want to say for the record, I know we are each others soul mates. I can tell. I can't imagine myself living the rest of my life with anyone else. He tells me the same. Of course I've never told him because I'm heartless and I don't know how to. We hung out this weekend and he told me that I would be the perfect girlfriend if I knew how to show some affection. 

I WANT TO SHOW AFFECTION, BUT HOWWWW???

I don't want to lose him, and I know I can save it. If I work on my problem. How do I fix this? How do I become for affectionate? I think I know how to be affectionate, I'm just embarrassed to show it. Especially in front of friends or family. I would die. Literally.

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: I can be in the most perfect relationship if I wasn't shy to show affection. How do can I work on this?