<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

I know you are a branch of government, and honestly I'm not sure why I expected more of you.

I did everything right.  I submitted my fingerprints for a background check 10 weeks ago.  See, I don't live in the U.S. right now.  I live in Taiwan, and I need these fingerprints as part of my visa renewal application, so they let me stay here.  I like having a place to live, and a job.

I waited, and waited.  Then the letter finally comes!  I tell my mom to rip it open and oh!  Do you know what was inside?  A rejection letter.  My two sets of fingerprints (done by a police officer) weren't good enough.  I have to resubmit.

Shit.  I've already waited so long the deadline for my visa renewal is in 9 days.  WTF do I do now?  So I call your customer service.

I tell them everything.  Without this visa renewal, I'm not legally allowed to work here.  I have to leave the country and go to Hong Kong on a visa run, and come back on a tourist visa for three months.  As a tourist, I can't work.  I'll lose my job.  I beg, please please can you expedite this next set of fingerprints?  It's urgent.

And the fine customer service representative says, "Sorry. Nope."  I beg again.  I explain again how dire this is.  He remains stoic.  Fuck you, Michael.

I call again and again.  Surely a nice person will pick up at some point.  Surely there is ONE government worker who gives a damn about the human race and other people, and who hasn't been sucked dry by the messy incompetent organization he works for.

And then I got Eddy on the phone.  Sure, he couldn't do much to help me.  He's not the boss, and his hands are pretty tied.  I know that.  But he treated me like a human being and gave me as many hints as possible to get my application seen as fast as possible.  So Eddy, if you read this, I want to buy you a fucking beer, or 3,000.
<bot>: One person who works at the FBI is not an asshole, and this masculine vision of wonder's name is Eddy.