<human>: When we first got together, we had a LOT of sex and I loved it. We went through the "honeymoon" period as basically every couple do and, like every couple, it eventually waned. 

I began actively avoiding sex and blamed my anti-depressants/the pill (the pill has affected my sex drive before), however I am no longer taking any kind of medication and still feel this way after being med-free for around five months. 

When I look at my S/O I don't find him "hot" or "sexy", but rather "cute" and "lovable". I love him dearly and yet the idea of having sex with him is not only repulsive but anxiety-inducing. 

My fear and stress has increased as the less I want it, the more he pushes for it. I dread going to bed every night and having to feel his hands all over me and having to push him away, and then having to hear his angry sighs as he turns away from me. He feels like something is wrong with him but I know there must be something wrong with me. 

It was his birthday last week and so for once I had to have sex with him. I bit into my hand to stop myself crying as he was going down on me and afterwards I felt so horrible. I had to pretend like I liked it and that I wanted it but every bit of me was yelling at me to run away. 

I love him but I don't know what to do. I can't keep denying such an important part of any relationship from him as he is suffering from the distance and doubting himself and my affection for him. 

How can I enjoy having sex with him again? How can I make myself comfortable in a sexual relationship with him?

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: The prospect of sex with my S/O is awful and my discomfort is putting a heavy strain on our relationship. How can I want to have sex with him again?