<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

When I was young I remember my parents fighting a lot and being very critical of my behavior in many ways. I sort of turned into a "good" polite kid and suppressed my self in many situations.

Since then my parents have divorced, and remarried, and then divorced again. I'm not sure exactly how this has affected me but I think that *maybe* my own feelings were neglected because my parents were very young when they had me (17/18) and so I guess I adapted to not needing anyone. 

Now I feel very tense around my parents and don't feel like I can talk to them. I feel like they are there to judge my actions. I can tell that they really do love me but it's hard for me to reciprocate and things like hugs and saying "I love you" feels very strange for me. This distance carries over to all of my friendships as well, and I feel like I have to force myself to smile and make people know that I care about them. 

Often when I am sitting with my friends (who are also somewhat avoidant) I feel the urge to hug them and tell them I love them but it seems impossible. But when I am with people who are more forward with their feelings I get annoyed and close off. 

I'm just wondering if I can change.
<bot>: I distance myself from those I care about but when I get closer it feels weird. I don't like doing this but it's the only way I know how, possibly because of my childhood.