<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

This happened like an hour ago. 
So I am a 1st year student and the seniors organized a fresher's party for us 1st years. All of us had to introduce ourselves and we were given a task to perform. Also each 1st year was paired with a senior. I was paired with the host of the party. Anyway my task was to tell people why I was a smartass. So the senior with whom I was paired up with  asked which girl I liked at the party. I told him I did not l like any (not true I was just acting as a smartass as was asked of me) ( I am not gay). So he asks me to pick the one I disliked the least. So here I go and pick one. Next thing I know I am on the stage being questioned by him telling me I do not like any girl at the party and I think none of them are upto 'my standard'. The girls are naturally enraged one calls me a smartass. Another shouts that they should apply lipstick on my face. I am fucking enraged and proceed to be a smartass by telling the host that whatever he told were his words and in the meantime the girls come at me with the lipstick so I shout on the mike 'no fucking lipstick on my fucking face'  and they stop. The host then proceeds to cool them down and tells me go back to my seat. As I am disembarking he tells me 'we will deal with you later'. 
I essentially destroyed all chances of me getting laid in my college.
<bot>: acted like a smartass and convinced the host of the party I do not like any of the girls and destroyed all chances of me getting laid at my college.