<human>: My ex's girlfriend has abs and despite the fact that I despise him, I can't help but want to 'win the breakup' so to speak. She might be entering the same (rather small) course in university next year and I've made it my mission to be better than her in every way. This means I'm forcing myself to run or go to the gym every day so I can be fitter than her (she has abs and can do handstands, I can barely run for more than 5 minutes straight before I have to slow down especially because I have health problems). I'm forcing myself to work extra hard so I can be smarter and do better than her in school, if we end up together. And I'm working on my relationship with my SO so that we outlast them by years, because I want to be more successful than her in every way. 

I know it's petty but she's dating my ex who she KNOWS was emotionally abusive to me and that makes me really, really hate her because I feel like she's condoning what he did and saying it's okay and it WASN'T. Am I being irrational? Is this mentally unhealthy? I feel like I might push myself too far and end up hurting myself... But I don't want to make excuses anymore. I want to be better than her so badly.

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<bot>: my ex's girlfriend is hotter than me and now I'm (possibly unhealthily) pushing myself to the edge so I can beat her in every way. Is this as bad as it sounds to me?