<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

Oh TIFU. I didn't want to post here, ever. But here we are today. So, i really needed to poop. So i bring my phone into the toilet to lurk on reddit while i do my business. So, when i was done, i got up. Little did I know that my phone was hanging out of the pocket of my cookie monster pants. So my phone went straight into the toilet. I then panicked so i went right in there with my hands,  good thing i flushed before so there was no poop in the toilet at the time. And i didn't flush while my phone was in there. The phone was in peices. I then put whats left of the phone on the counter and proceed to wash my hands with all of the soap in my house. I then bolt out of the bathroom to get paper towels. My whole family is in the living room, looking at me panicking with my poopy hands. I then get paper towels, but it was too late. My whole family was laughing so hard, their sides were hurting. I then went to best buy to get another phone. There was four days left on my warranty, so i was lucky, *very* lucky.
<bot>: My phone went into the toilet, NOT IN THE POOP. I panicked and put my hands in the toilet to get it. My whole family was waiting outside.