<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

I grudgingly wake up everyday and drag myself to school. On the ride there I daydream things such as, what if there's a fire in school? How many days would we miss? What if I got in a horrific car crash, how many days then? In school I mindlessly put myself through classes. I have shitty grades due to not paying attention or doing HW. Also once you fall behind in some classes it's really hard to catch up. In school I talk to few kids and have decent social skills. However I have zero friends I hang out with, only acquaintances. I don't have a meaningful relationship with anyone in school, I put on a social façade. After school I spend hours on the Internet browsing useless shit and day dreaming about how I'm going to be so great someday then go to bed and repeat… I have wasted YEARS of my life like this; currently I'm an 18 y.o senior in high school. 

However the worst part is that I'm okay with it. Most of the time I'm blissfully ignorant with my shitty life and have learned to live with it. I'm perfectly fine 90% of the time until these realizations hit me. Sometimes I wish these feelings didn't disappear so easily so I would change myself into a better person. I think I *want* to do worse in school/life so I get a "wake up call" and start doing better. I know sometime after I make this post, most of these feelings will disappear and I'll go back to happily wasting my life. 

It's not that I haven't tried changing my life, it's that those changes don't stick for a significant time. Discipline is incredibly difficult for me. Every time I think about changing my life my past failures demotivate me. I think "If I've been unsuccessful in changing so far, what going to make this time any different?" Also there are some positives in my life like being accepted into a decent college despite my shitty GPA. I take comfort from my mediocrity and ignore my mistakes. 

Please tell me how I can change my life?
<bot>: I go through feelings of self-hatred and frustration. These are due to my academic and social failures. HOWEVER after a while these feelings disappear and I'm back into my blissfully ignorant self.