<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

I just can't picture it. He thinks it would be sexy but it makes me cringe so hard even thinking about it.

The whole discussion we had made me realize that I have really low sexual confidence and am terrible with intimacy. I have a decent body, it's been better, it's been worse. 

I got really good at distancing myself emotionally from casual partners due to negative experiences (getting too attached, etc) while I was single.

But that's causing problems now. I can't meet my SOs eyes when we have sex, I can't bring myself to do dirty talk, I just feel so shy with him. I don't know if this is because we haven't had enough time together physically (we're long distance) or if I need to work on this myself. 

I'd like to be able to feel a real connection with sex again. Has anyone been through this? Any advice?
<bot>: I can't open up sexually with my SO and now he wants a lapdance. How can I get comfortable with the idea?