<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

I honestly don't know how to summarize what she means to me/how we've interacted over the past 10+ years. She means everything to me though. I've only lied to her three times in my life (all about my attraction/love for her), and made her cry twice. She's cute/sweet/smart (she just finished her first semester of law school!), and she means everything to me. We share the same birthday, one year apart. 

I have tried to muster up the courage to tell her multiple times throughout my life, but fail miserably when I attempt to. One time, for instance, we saw the movie How to train your Dragon. I turned to her and was about to say. *Your make up looks so pretty on you..." She *never* wears make up. But I caught myself mid way after saying "your make up looks..." And panicked at the thought of losing our friendship and finished with "so ugly on you." She cried. I wanted to die inside. But I knew a while of her hating me for a "bad joke" was better than her losing trust in me. 

I know I'm not good enough for her so I intentionally recount my sexual experiences with her to...idk, punish myself? She's never had sex, and only had two boyfriends in HS.  I always, always do things for her. I went out and got a replica cake made of one that she told me she liked from a picture she saw months before our birthday.

 I don't know what to do.  I keep telling her about the dates I go on and how they mess up because I put too much effort in them, but that's only because I'm trying to get my mind off her. I dated one of her good friends once because I thought that was the best I could do--find someone as close to her as I could, but I was  wrong...

 I'd never treat her like I've treated m ex's (asking for sex, smothering them). I don't know what to do. I'm such a screw up.
<bot>: I desperately need help figuring out if/how I should tell my best friend I love her or just ask her out.