<human>: This happened just last night. 

So we have two new dogs in the house, courtesy of a new roommate. We don't allow them outside the kitchen because they pee and poop EVERYWHERE if we do.

We keep them in the kitchen with a baby gate, and for a small English terrier this is an adequate barrier....or so we thought. 

Last night one of those little poop factories managed to break free of their culinary exile and ran into the living room and right on the couch (something else their not allowed on)  and lays on its back like nothing's the matter.

Annoyed at this blatant rebellion, I reach for a spatula that happened to be on the coffee table and gave the pup a quick swat on its side. I instantly regretted this decision. 

The moment my instrument made contact, the dog sprayed pee EVERYWHERE! All over me, the couch..

IT GOT IN MY EYES!

My first thought was "AHH! IT BURNS!"

My second thought was that THE little white fur ball's days in this house was numbered.

Tossed it back in the kitchen and doubled up on the baby gates.

Try and escape now....fucker.

Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?
<bot>: Smacked my roommates dog after it jumped the baby gate and hopped on the couch; got pee sprayed in my eyes.