<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

We were out for a coffee at a beach bar: me, my friend, his girlfriend and two other single friends, one guy and one fit, smoking hot and a bit crazy gal. Having fun and a good time. 

The girls left at some point, so the conversation shifted to boy stuff, commenting on the scantily dressed butts around us and discussing our girlfriends. We decided which girl from our group was the most fuckable and how we wished some of our girlfriends would get the clue and do some effort to lose some of the extra fat.

My friend's girlfriend had forgot her phone and returned to pick it up. She decided to stay for a bit before leaving again.

So, at this point, amidst the noon heat and humid drowsiness, my brain decided to be the Good Guy Wingman to my friend, and tell his girlfriend straight away what he thought, since it would be difficult for my friend to do so.

By spewing out the general feeling from our earlier conversation, that everyone male present around the table, including my friend, would like to fuck the fit girl that worked out, and that she should take the hint at last.

After a few minutes of sharp, unilateral verbal abuse, which even my Gunnery Sergeant couldn't top, I wanted the floorboards to open and the sand below to swallow me, and also had a desire to stand still while my friend's girlfriend landed full-force slaps at me, so she would vent at me and not my friend.

I hope that my friend doesn't get murdered tonight in his sleep.
<bot>: I spewed out to my friend's SO that every single male in our group wanted to fuck the fit girl. Including my friend.