<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

So!!! This happened fucking TODAY. On my way home from work. 
I have a nice long walk from my place of work and the metro station that takes me most of the way home, so i tend to pop in my headphones and listen to some boot-scootin boogies on shuffle and dance-walk my way home. I get to the station. Anamanaguchi's Prom Night comes on.

This song is my motherfucking jam. My jelly. It'd be my peanut butter too if i didn't fucking loathe peanut butter. 

I bump my wallet-holding pocket to the SmarTrip card reader and pass through the gate to the escalator. 

I know what you're thinking. 

"Pugpoots. Did you dance on the escalator?"

You bet your curvaceous hypothetical ass i did. 

I always heard stories as a little kid warning me not to play on an escalator. About rambunctious little chillunfolks who get squished and squashed through the moving steps like little baby saltwater taffy people. It always starts with a shoelace. 

I thought i was so goddamn smart. Tucking my shoelaces into my boots. Keepin em loose. Never tying them. Never checking if they slip out. 

It happened. Shoelace to stair-grate. Im about to step off and i feel a tug. I fall on my face, busting my lip on the fucking handrail and twisting my ankle. I watch in horror as the escalator slowly tugs my shoelace from my boot. 

Meh.
<bot>: danced around on an escalator, got stuck, lost a shoelace, twisted an ankle, and busted my lip open.