<human>: I'm shaking and nervous and crying. Broke up (25/F) with my ex (25/M) five months ago. It was the second official time I had broken up with him (both times I initiated) in the two years duration we'd been together. First break up lasted three months before we reconciled. In those three months we were in contact and I went back and forth on whether I wanted to be with him. 

This time around we've been no contact for five months. I've tried to respect it, but I've come close to breaching it. This is the closest I've been. Right now I was just stalking some of the sites he goes on for the first time in ages, and all these emotions flooded back to me. All the memories. Now I'm just thinking of how he's going to find someone else one day so much more suitable. And I'll just remain this nutter. I'm thinking of his voice, of how much he loved me and no longer does. I just want to message him somehow and say something. 

I still have some of his stuff (a few books I borrowed). He left a medication at my house and I never gave it back. Thinking in my emotional state to ask him if I can give him the medication. Wondering if I'll regret messaging him in the morning. Or should I throw away the medication and start this healing process over?

I don't know what to do. I'm a mess. Just want someone to talk to right now.

Can you provide a brief overview of the text?
<bot>: Feeling emotional and vulnerable. Close to reaching out to the ex even though a part of me knows it's not a wise idea.