<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

OK, here goes.

I am autistic (actual, not self-diagnosis)-specifically, I have Asperger's Syndrome. This means that forming friendships with people and interacting is challenging for me, though it has become easier in recent years as I've had more practice with it. For a variety of personal reasons (selfish with my personal time, don't want kids, don't want to commit to someone, etc) I've concluded that being in a relationship is beyond the pale of what I'm capable of as a person, and that close friendship is my upper limit for human interaction.

Unfortunately, I'm not asexual, and I develop crushes on people and experience sexual attraction. Because I'm incapable of acting on these feelings in any meaningful way, I've grown to despise them. My life would be so much simpler and less stressful if I never was attracted to anyone, and it's gotten to the point where, if I had one wish that a genie could grant me, it would be to make me incapable of being romantically or sexually attracted to someone. Every time I masturbate, I get mad at myself, because I know that means I still feel sexual attraction and force myself to act on it.

I don't have any personal moral or religious beliefs explaining this; I'm an atheist and generally favor more liberal sexual norms on a societal level. But on a personal level, sexuality is something that confuses me, frustrates me, and that I wish I did not feel. Why do I feel this way? Is there any healthy way to ignore my sexuality, or any medical/psychological way to get rid of it? Why do I feel like this?
<bot>: For personal reasons I'm incapable of being in a relationship or having sex, yet I still feel sexual attraction. I despise my sexuality because of this.