<human>: So, I [23 F] don't know who I could talk to about this irl. I have only had one bf, from ages 16-18. It was a relationship that got too serious too fast and turned really manipulative and emotionally abusive on both sides. Eventually we fell out of love and I was too stubborn to leave so he ended up dumping me after cheating (though I'm not sure how far that actually went). That is my entire experience with dating. I went on like two accidental dates afterward but nothing intentional. I have mostly been falling for guys who are really unavailable (long distance, have gf, or both). And I think that's because it was the only way I felt safe having feelings for someone again. I have a lot of anxiety and I'm going to see a shrink soon when my insurance kicks in. 

But in the meantime, someone who is completely available and interested [24 M] asked me out and I am attracted to him too so I accepted. Truth be told, we've hung out a few times already and kissed but now it's like actual date time.  And he's been texting me a lot and is acting like this is gonna be a long term thing. I'm super not used to healthy attention and it's freaking me out because I don't know how to be in a relationship and I don't know what I want out of one. And the thing is, he is cute and nice and there's no reason yet to not like him so I feel like I'm self - sabotaging but I can't help feeling trapped by this whole thing already. What if he isn't "the one" but there's never a real reason to break up? I feel really anxious about the whole thing but I don't want to just blow it either because I have been lonely and being with someone would be nice. Buttt, I've spent so much time investing in myself that I don't want to get sucked into something that takes my focus off me. I'm super conflicted...

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: I've only been attracted to unavailable men after a young emotionally abusive relationship. Now a potential real relationship is freaking me out.