<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

My core group of friends keeps hanging out with my ex.  We dated for ~4.5 years and have been broken up ~8 months.  I'm still not over her, but she started a band with my roommate and two of my close friends.  She comes to hang out occasionally, and now that has turned into her going out with my group of friends.

On one hand it makes me feel like they're choosing me over her.  I further perpetuate this by being pouty about it, making her more fun to hang out with, because she doesn't seem to care.

On the other hand, I have trouble hanging out with her because I get jealous and miss her.  It isn't healthy for me, and each time I see her I feel like it puts me a step back.  I tried to hang out with the group with her, but she danced with a random guy at the club for ~1.5 hrs which was really tough for me emotionally. 

I've tried to explain this to my friends, and they say they understand, but don't change their actions.  I don't want to be too much of a downer or too controlling, but I want to do what is best for me. 

The advice I've gotten is to:

Go out, try my best to not let her bother me, not being nice to her/giving her time, but not being a douche.  Basically just suck it up and have a good time. 

Or cut the people out of my life who don't respect my emotions and are not valuing my friendship. 

Or just simply not hang out with the group when she is around, try to find something else to do or just stay in.
<bot>: My ex keeps coming around to hang out with my friends, making it even harder for me to get over her.  What should I do to not loose friendships, but not deal with her.