<human>: Greetings Redditors! First time posting and long time lurker. My husband and I adopted a couple of kittens off of Reddit a few months ago. These cats are awesome, but they do a couple of really odd things...

Circe, the female, will not let me poop in peace! Every time I sit on the toilet, she opens the bathroom door (master pick locker!) and demands to sit in my lap then crawls her way to sit on my shoulders. If I deny her, she will claw her way to the top of my shoulders! When she gets to the top, she just lies still and becomes a purr monster! Awkward but sweet.

Baltar (this is when things get weird) likes to suck his own nipples. Their mom died right after giving birth and I know this is a natural reaction. However, it does not really bother anyone until his sister starts sucking on his nips with him and he... well, he..... he cups and grabs his balls while he is doing it. To say the least, my husband gets pissed when he wakes up at 3A.M. to hear the cats doing some Lannister type activities (for all of my fellow Game of Throne nerds).

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: Female cat is addicted to hugging me while I poop and the male cat cups his balls while sucking on his nips. What are some strange and awkward things that your pets do?