<human>: Let me start by stating that I am by no means 'car savy'. I can perform basic maintenance, and with a manual I can replace most parts that don't require the engine to be lifted. For example, I've jacked the engine removed the mounts and replaced the water-pump and serpentine belt no problem. I do all of my own general maintenance / repairs. I work in the service industry (IT), so I'm inclined to do my own stuff where I can (I also enjoy building..I'm sure you wanted to know that).

Ok - so my wife's car (my old car, 1993 Pontiac Bonneville SE) died in the hospital parking lot (she is pregnant, due feb.). We tried to jump it, I checked the battery with a multimeter and took it to autozone to check the charge. Everything comes on - but when you try to start it, the 'check oil' light cuts off, everything else stays on, no sounds come from the starter (doesn't turn over), and there's a 'whining' or kind of a 'clicking' somewhere in the vicinity of the throttle (? on top of the engine, not sure what it is called but you can press it to rev the car). 

Previously, the car wouldn't start due to a loose wire in the steering column. When the key was inserted and turned, nothing came on. You could bang around under the column and eventually everything would start right up. I took the plastic assembly apart on the left (next to the lights/whipers) and fiddled around until eventually it started every time. I don't know if this is related, because everything comes on no problem. I'm concerned it might be the ignition switch but I have no idea what I'm talking about. lol I plan on taking the starter off and having it tested... Any ideas reddit? I apologize if this is posted in the wrong place. Let me know and I will move it.

Thank you for your time, patience, and consideration.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: The car won't start, doesn't turn over, all of the lights come on and the battery tests fine. We have tried to jump it / re-seat the battery and terminals.