<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

Today is probably one of the roughest days out of the entire year that I'll have
My father's birthday  

About 3 years ago i had lost my father, I was extremely close to him, he was the only person who'd take my side and be there for me in my darkest hours I could rely on him more then anyone 

Today comes once a year and I feel like I cant even muster up the strength to roll out of bed 

I have never lost some one close to me So cooping isn't something I've needed to do 

But now I don't know how to, and in  complete and utter seriousness this is usually the day were I buy most my "stuff" and numb my self for the day (stupid and childish I know) 

So reddit how do you coop with the lost of a parent on their birthdays? All advice is welcome it feels Good just to be talking about it I'm Not exactly an "open book"
<bot>: today is my dad birthday I lost him 3 years ago and only way I know how to deal with it is getting high for 24 hrs. What are some ways you'd suggest on.how to coop?