<human>: I feel like I have something going on in my subconscious that makes me want to hurt people. I was never particularly happy growing up, wasn't very socially fluent either. Now I feel like every time I get into a relationship I feel as if I take out my resentment of my childhood on my girlfriend and try to break their hearts. 

 I have tried for so long with my current girlfriend to hide this side of me. I warned her I had anger issues, but she didn't know the extent. Well tonight it came out pretty bad and I said a lot of hurtful things and they just keep coming to mind. It hurts me to do this but at the same time it makes me feel powerful.

 Ill never be able to change the past, but I don't know how to come to terms with it and be a decent human being. Is it because I've got so much hurt locked away inside of me and I want to inflict that same pain I've constantly felt, that of rejection?

 I hold grudges and am reluctant to forgive people. I am spiteful and generally losing my interest to live as a result of my fucked up psyche. How do I learn to cope with the past, with the good times I didn't have? People tell me to talk to people, but that doesn't change the past. Is there a way to trump the past?

 I'm not particularly happy with myself at the current point in my life either. Work for shit pay while she's an assistant manager for the same company they told me I didn't have the personality for said position. I am 23 and still a semester away from getting my associates degree. She can support herself and If I wasn't with her I'd be sleeping on a couch in my moms basement. 

 I could go more into detail but I hope this is enough to solicit some responses that could help me any.

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: I think I'm a heartbreaker as a result of my sucky childhood and I want to break this habit. Help?