<human>: I really need help.  Whatever I do I just cannot avoid gaining weight. thinking about my weight keeps me up at night, i feel depressed and void of hope.
       My journey started 2 years ago, I was a 16 years old, 5'8" (Still am), 190 lb teenage boy. After being sick of staring at my my body every time I got dressed or took a shower, I had decided that enough was enough and over the course of 6 months lost around lost 60 lbs to around 129 lbs. The weight loss was rapid and I started to actually gain confidence in my body image. The next 18 months saw a gradual slow-down of motivation and action until this May when I graduated High School.
       Graduation day me saw meat 138 lbs, about 9 lbs u from what I was used to. I felt disappointed in myself but mostly ignored it. May became June and 138 became 141, and then 144. Now, at the beginning of July I weigh 148 lbs. 3 weeks ago I started running to counteract the gain. I lost one pound after a week and gained three the following one. I started using MyFitnessPal again, but find it near impossible to be as faithful as I once was. I lost all self control and can't find an answer.
         I feel helpless, desperate, and disgusted. I'm currently thinking about accepting being fat, facing the fact that it is something that i cannot escape, and should give up ttrying to do so. The only thing keeping me from that is knowing that is not impossible, as i've done it before. Right now though, the person from a couple months ago is all but gone, and left in his wake is a depressed, defeated, slob.
       r/loseit, this is my first post on reddit ever. After being a lurker for over 2 years, I've remained too timid to say anything about my situation to anyone, not even my family. These are the first words to ever come from me asking for help in any way, shape, or form. Please understand how important this is to me, at least consider my situation, or take it as an example of what not to do.

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: after losing lots of weight quickly before, the exact opposite is happening, and I'm just about ready to give up.