<human>: Can you provide a brief overview of the text?

I just want to make sure that you understand,
I don't mean an open relationship in terms of wanting to date other people, it just the opposite. I love my partner and don't want to be with anyone else in the romantic sense. 

However I've been denying for so long my desires for people outside any and all past relationships that its usually destroyed them by my acting out. It even led me to question at one stage whether I even truly enjoyed sex. 

I've been with my current partner for a year now and it is by far my longest relationship. However my desire for those outside of my relationship have reared its ugly head. I used to be able to deny it to myself by saying "maybe i'm not feeling loved" or "maybe i'm not getting as much sex as I would like". But in this case, I know that none of that is true.

I know I have the love of my partner and he has mine. As well as the fact that intimacy is definitely something that is so far from a problem that it could never be considered as such. However, that has not stopped my desire for sex with others. If anything it has made it worse. I cut off any and all ties with other gay guys in my life, for fear that I may cheat. Thinking perhaps that was the problem. But now I see the sex with others in my dreams, and is causing heavy depression, anxiety, and mood swings in all aspects of my life. I've been able to pass it off as stress over exams but that is not the case. 

I want to be able to talk to my partner about this, but I feel as though that is unlikely to end well as he has had one partner previously, and the guy cheated on him. So this has left him with some emotional trust issues and closeness.

I love my partner and there is no other out there like him. I don't want to be with anyone else the way I am with him as the desire for others is purely sexual and nothing else.
<bot>: is wanting to be in an open-relationship purely for sex while (for lack of a better word) retaining my current romantic partner something i should be ashamed of? is there any way to curb my desire?