<human>: Hun, trust me. All I want is to be able to control myself, calm down, and deal with a situation rationally. I CAN'T.  I cant deal with this anymore... this constant struggle between logic and my emotions, all I want is to be normal... not to have to struggle against my own mind.  I don't want to feel stupidly sad and rant to you about how much I hate my damned self and my pathetic heart, I don't want to flare up in unreasonable anger and be disrespectful, rude, and shitty to you.  I want to love you more than any woman ever could.  I want to love you for the rest of my life... but I can't do that if I can't get past my stupidity.  I am out of control of myself... and I'm lost.  If I can't keep myself happy? How will I keep you happy? I feel like I'll wear more and more on you as the years go by, until you resent me with all of your being.   I hate myself... but you love me... but I feel like all the reasons I hate myself will eventually make you hate me one day.  Why can't I listen to you? Why can't I just calm down?  Why can't I be a reasonable person? Why can't I just love you and not try an break up with you every time I lose control?  I love you... but will I keep you happy? or crush your spirit?  Fuck.  WHy don't I just end it like I planned 3 years ago?

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I hate myself.  I can't be in control of my reactions to my emotions, and I feel like it's ruining the best relationship I've ever had.  I shouldn't even be here.