<human>: This happened two days ago. I am an ESL teacher in Thailand. I live in a small studio apartment. I had just left school, and I was in my apartment, trimming my head with some clippers. I finished cutting my hair and hopped in the shower to rinse off. I get out, grab a towel, and start drying off and I looked at the wall that the towel rack is attached to. The wall was covered in tiny red fire ants, and lo and behold, so was the towel that I am using to dry myself off!!!!!

About 10 to 15 seconds later, I start feeling the little shits biting me **all** over my body. I mean everywhere. Arms, chest, shoulders, back (which was already super sunburned and itchy from snorkeling), my thighs, my ass, and yes, my dick and balls. I grabbed my second, ant-free, towel to try and rub the ants off of me, but it did next to nothing to get the ants off of me. I had to wait and feel where I was being bitten, and meticulously pluck each little fire ant off of my skin. I was literally pacing around my room, screaming, itching, and plucking fire ants of of me for twenty minutes. The balls were the worst. Every time I quit holding them, I would feel a new ant biting down there. I even found a fucking ant under my foreskin! Don't ask me how the hell it got there. 

Now, two days later, I have little red spots all over my arms, thighs, and private parts. They itch like crazy! I have bites all over my shaft and sack, and those are just nearly impossible to effectively scratch. As if the story couldn't get any worse, I had bought some Tiger Balm for the bites. It felt good when I used it on the bites on my arms, so I got the bright idea to put it on my shaft and sack. Twenty seconds later, My balls and shaft no longer itch, but they are burning like crazy!  Anyway, the moral of the story is, fucking inspect your towel before you use it to dry off!

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: Grabbed a towel that was covered in fire ants, dried off and got bit all over the privates by ants. Put tiger balm on the bites on my privates, and that only introduced a new type of pain.