<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

Its been a long night, I'm 16, on a Wednesday night, doing some chores after the lady-friend had left, and I grabbed some Kool-Aid (because I'm 5 on the inside.). I had one glass at first. Then another. Then another. Then another, and I think I got up to 13 glasses of Kool-Aid by around 7:30. So, naturally, around 8:15, I REALLY have to piss... 

My brother was in the main bathroom however, and my mother was in hers. So I had to hold it. And I waited... For what seems like an *eternity*. I eventually got to the point where I couldn't hold it any longer. So I ran to the main bathroom door, and it's one that can be unlocked from the outside, so I quickly unlock it, and I step halfway in to see my brother, bent over the toilet, Johnson in one hand, laptop on the counter, crankin' his shank. He sees me, loudly yells "Fucker!", tries to run and jump into the shower, only ending up in him slipping on a towel on the floor, and smashing his face on the side of the bathtub. 

I start laughing **HYSTERICALLY**. Completely oblivious to the fact that I still had to piss like a motherfucker. I'm rolling on the floor, laughing, when my bladder can't handle it anymore, and just releases.

So now, I'm writing this, after I've thrown my favorite shirt and pants into the wash, smelling like piss, while trying not to think of the image of my brother jerkin' his gherkin. And yes, he was fine, probably gonna have a nice black eye though.
<bot>: Had to piss bad, walked in on my brother masturbating, he freaks out, trips and hits his face off the bathtub, I laugh, then piss myself.