<human>: **The immediate past**- My wife drifted away, fell in love with another man, and said no when I asked her to break it off.  She moved out and immediately went to be with him, while wanting to keep the door open to a possible future reconciliation.  While she doesn't want to divorce, she's also unwilling to do anything to actually convince me not to or to repair our relationship (she refuses to stop the affair and commit to couples therapy).

**Now**- It's been 3 months since I found out she's in love with another man, and 2 since she moved out.  I've made it clear that divorce is the only option moving forwards, though I'm going to wait about a month to let the situation between us cool down a bit before moving forwards, legally speaking.

**My question today is**- her parents were always such lovely people to me, and I feel somehow that I'd like to send them some kind of goodbye message.  While we didn't speak frequently, we did occasionally email articles of interest and we spoke often during skype calls with their daughter (my wife).  What's the etiquette on this?  All I'd like to say is really "You were such kind and loving second parents to me and it saddens me that I have to leave your family.  I wish you the best."  I also hear that her mother has very strongly taken my side... Is there a way to express sadness that my wife's actions have hurt them, and hope that they can repair their relationship with her?

What do y'all think?  Is this a reasonable idea?  Is now the right time, or should I wait until after things are finalized (about 9 months), or somewhere in between?

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<bot>: I'd like to send my STBX wife's parents a letter, rather than just randomly stopping speaking to them.  Is there a good way to do this?  When should I?  Concerns about content?