<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

My husband and I have been married for ten years and have 2 young children. Several months ago I came to realize that the horrible drama I was experiencing every day with him (horrible verbal abuse) was wrong and was not my fault.  (trust me i was brainwashed and thought that I was a horrible person and deserved it.)  

I finally got the guts to tell him that I wanted to separate.  Then he came to me crying and begging for another chance.  I have given that to him.  For the most part he seems completely fine.  I notice subtle things here and there, but absolutely nothing like the way he used to treat me.  

Ok.... so... everything is fixed right?  and I should be happy and carry on as a good wife and mom???  However I can't.  Its not so much that I am afraid that the "shoe is about to drop," its like I almost want it to.  I can't for sure say that I really truly want to be in this relationship.  I find myself wondering what it would be like to have a "normal" relationship.  Also I don't really care about losing the relationship.  Then at other times I almost feel content and almost happy with staying.  Then I remember things in the past that happen that made me angry.  So has anyone ever dealt with this?  And by verbal abuse, I mean lots of anger, cussing, name calling, death threats, and destruction of property.
<bot>: verbally abusive husband has changed his ways, I still don't know if I want to stay or not.  Any experience?