<human>: So I have been dating this girl, and it has been fantastic in every other respect. We get along so well, there is definitely mutual attraction, the chemistry is there. When we sleep together though, I know I am being too vanilla for her tastes, she likes it rough, like submissive masochist stuff. I wouldn't say I am opposed to the concept, it's doesn't do much for me but I will tackle some of it for her. What's putting me off is her past, she has been sexually abused and raped, as well as manipulated by her ex long term partner. This is just creating a mental block for me when it comes to inflicting pain on this girl I care about, especially when there are still remnants of her past abuse (for example she refuses to be choked). 

Like don't get the wrong idea, I am okay with dominating the situation, and giving her little control over her body as I get her off. It's just the hitting, gagging, ect. that I can't bring myself to do to her. 
The reason she is with me (besides my shocking good looks) is because she wanted a guy who would treat her kindly and care for her for a change. I know this should extend to trying to understand her needs in the bedroom, and perhaps it's just less experience on my part but I feel I am (for lack of a better term) 'too nice' for this. Are we ultimately just sexually incompatible? I mean her body still responds positively to my 'more vanilla' brand. Can I settle for some form of a middle ground? 
Any advice? Preferably from those who have encountered similar situations, or been swayed one way or the other with BDSM by a partner.

Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?
<bot>: She wants me to hurt her during sex, it doesn't do much for me and she has been abused in the past, so not 100% on board, advice?