<human>: Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?

We have been together almost 3 years, we live together.

Background on me: I come from a rough childhood, estranged from parents, and I am previously divorced from an abusive jerk who I got with when I was way too young. 

Background on him: Relatively okay childhood, but parents definitely have issues (/r/raisedbynarcissists material) and he only contacts them every now and then. He has had a few serious relationships, never been married.

Okay, so my boyfriend told me the other day that he made me his beneficiary, but he was bothered by how little rights I really have to his stuff if he died and we were together. He was also bothered that his parents had far more rights. We started talking and he said he'd really like to have something more cemented with us, he doesn't want his money going to his parents, and he wants to make sure if something happened to him, I would have rights to see him, or be able to support myself. We talked about domestic partnership, but it seems like a lot of paperwork for something that has less rights than marriage. 

Now you might think that marriage is an obvious answer, but we both are pretty strongly against marriage. Or I guess a conventional view of marriage. When I got married, I was basically pushed into it (abusive relationship) and I absolutely hated it. I hated being a "wife." I hated having a "husband." I don't know how to explain it exactly, there's just something about it that almost grosses me out. 

But we're in a position where marriage could make sense. I got completely fucked in my divorce, my ex was going to fight me at every turn so I relented and I was basically homeless. My boyfriend and I have both agreed that if we do something like this, a prenuptial is a must.

We are thinking of possibly getting married in a courthouse and just not telling anyone. Then we'll have the benefits we want without the titles. Is this completely bonkers? I guess I'm wondering everyone's thoughts about this. Do I just need to get over my distrust of marriage?
<bot>: Boyfriend and I agree that we would like more legal and financial protections, but hate the idea of marriage. Is a secret marriage a good idea or is this being silly?