<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

I've created a throwaway account specifically for this post. As a quick look into my background before I get to the main issue, I've suffered from fluctuating depression for the past 3 years which has been on different scales of severity. 

I've experienced break ups before but they have either been from loveless relationships or ones where the love has dwindled. 

4 months ago I met my most recent ex and at first I struggled to develop feelings for him, which created issues. Then I did get the feelings and I fell in love with him and he became my perfect constant. We were so happy I couldn't believe it. He kept me steady whilst my Alevel exams were pushing me off slightly and he was genuinely the nicest guy I had ever met. 

Recently, and this probably relates to his moving away to uni, I started to slip back into depression and because of this I became more argumentative. In one week we had 4 arguments over fickle things which I didn't consider too bad and always managed to sort it within the day, then when I visited him this weekend just gone he explained that he's been having doubts because of the arguments and that he was staying with me not because he wanted to, but because of my mental health issues. We argued, again. Made up, again. He talked to me about the future and about seeing me on Christmas day etc then the next day dumped me over text. 

I am distraught. I want him back like something not right but he has his mind set on staying apart despite still loving me. My main issue is that my education is going downhill and I have very few close real friends so I'm not finding any comfort. My doctor has recently prescribed me antidepressants but the side effect list has scared me from taking them. I am lost. I want him back with such sheer desperation and I feel as though my constant is gone and I have no way to comfort myself because of the non-relationship issue. 

I don't know what I hope to achieve by posting this. I need help. Apologies for any possible spelling errors.
<bot>: Broke up with my boyfriend of four months due to not controlling my depressive emotions and have now started spiralling into something terrible.