<human>: Almost a year ago in February, I was blindsided by a breakup with a guy I was really in love with. Recently I saw him at a party I went to. No one told me he was going to be there and I was having really bad anxiety and just uncomfortable that he was there. He was trying to hook up with a girl that he liked before me. Cool, but not my business. He can do what he wants now. 

After seeing him and him not even looking at me whatsoever really hurt for some reason. Just reminded me of past emotions and devastation I had last year over him. I've been really depressed since then. I don't know why it's so hard to forget. I feel as though I should be over this already but I'm truthfully not. I feel dead inside and the betrayal I felt after the breakup still effects me. I'm still angry and upset and I don't know how to let it go. I'm struggling to understand why it all happened still and wish we were still together sometimes. 

I feel like my mind is diseased. This was a setback in my recovery process and I can't stop thinking about it. It's tearing me apart. I'm really struggling to fight these almost irrational feelings. I'm scared I'll never be in love like that again. 
I just need advice, tips, personal experiences.. Anything to ease these crazy emotions

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: saw ex after a year... Triggered a severe depressive episode and was a setback in my recovery process. Worried I won't ever move on