<human>: So this actually happened a few days ago like so many of these posts. 
I live in a small town in Louisiana and my friend (lets call her Michelle) just got a job in Arizona growing medicinal cannabis. Since she had never been to Arizona, she decided that before she moved out there, she would fly out for a weekend to look at some apartments and get to know the area better. I got drunk with her a few days before her flight out and she convinced me to buy a ticket. While we were in Arizona, we were passing by a Trader Joe's and I made her stop since she said she had never been to one. I (of course) bought some speculoos cookie butter to bring back because it's one of the 7 wonders of the world and all we have in my hometown is a walmart which most definitely doesn't carry it.
Fast forward to the airport for our flight back. I had packed my cookie butter in Michelle's bag because mine was really full. I only had one carry on with some clothes in it so I passed through TSA screening super quick. Michelle on the other hand was taking forever so I was standing right past the line of people waiting for her. The TSA agent's rechecked her bag after it got flagged by their bag screening machine. They took the cookie butter out of her bag and told her that she couldn't take it because "it's too pasty and the consistency is too much like a plastic explosive." She looked over at me, and with a really sad face exclaimed "they took the cookie butter" to which I thought it would be funny and jokingly say "at least they didn't find the weed!"

We're just now about to board a different flight as we have missed our original one due to a lengthy interrogation and cavity search, and my friend Michelle hates me.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: TSA took my cookie butter and I joked saying at least they didn't find the weed. They didn't think it was very funny and gave me a cavity search.