<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

Hi everyone,

I'm a girl who grew up with pretty conservative views on love due to the culture I'm from that now that I'm 19 and have joined the dating scene I've become more and more confused about general western dating culture.

Basically I rarely ever have crushes on guys even because even at that stage I feel like I need to gauge their character and personality and then decide to pursue them or not. I just feel that dating is automatically relationship and relationship = serious enough that you can imagine getting married to them in the future

I've realized my beliefs are extremely weird so I recently decided to date a guy simply because I enjoyed their company and had fun with them before we then got into a "relationship". 

Being with him in the relationship made me realize he was fun to be with but definitely not someone I could see myself with in the future and suddenly i felt like everything I've done has been pointless. The old me that thought relationship = path to eventual marriage came back full swing and made me question why I was with someone I couldn't imagine myself being with long term. 

That's why I wanted to ask how people like you, who are much more familiar with western dating culture like me would view this situation and what you feel like the different parts of a relationship is for.
<bot>: had very traditional views on dating but tried to change myself to fit into western dating culture more and now I'm just a confused mess