<human>: Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?

I have realized I am entirely incapable of figuring out what I want and what is best, so if you are patient I would like to blurt out everything and see if you guys can put my thoughts together for me.

My divorce was finalized last November. I've been split since last May. We were married for 7 years, together for over 8. 

I have been looking for/talking to women but I always come up with an excuse not to follow through. I've bailed on 6 dates now, some of which very attractive/fun women. I don't even think I really want to be with anyone but I have this annoying primal urge to do so. I'm replacing more and more of the things in life I care about with apathy, so it's becoming worrisome. I don't really care about sex anymore, or have any urge to do the "fuck everything I can" thing. 

There is also insurmountable bitterness. I've turned into a bit of a sociopath where I like watching relationships fail. I almost want to get into a relationship just to make it fail (wtf brain?). My ex-wife cheated on me, but instead of never wanting that to happen to anyone because of how shitty it felt, I want to see people get cheated on and broken, I may even encourage it at times. I'm aware this is a bit scary and not normal. I think that may play into why I've been avoiding women, I'm pretty sure I would be a complete asshole and I want to spare them. 

I don't think about my ex anymore, nor do I love her or want to be with her. The wound has healed, I'm wondering if it healed incorrectly.
<bot>: A breakup after a long relationship has turned me into a clueless apathetic sociopath. I have no idea whether I should be dating or not.