<human>: Especially when other girls are involved. I hate being like this. How can I change? I've been dating him currently for a little over a year. I get upset when this happens most of the time, although I don't always tell  him or make a big deal because realistically I know I shouldn't be worried/upset and I'm embarrassed to even feel this way... but I do. It's like a jealousy/why wouldn't you rather hang out with me combo and it's ridiculous.

Background that I think may be involved with this: I was in an emotionally abusive relationship from age 16-20. This was the only serious relationship I've been in besides this current one. He cheated at 1 year, but my 16 year old brain "loved" him so I stayed. He was demeaning, called me derogatory names, turned everything into my fault, constantly thought I was cheating, we fought all the time, did everything he could to separate me from friends/family (it was usually always just me and him for 4 years, we rarely did anything with other people), he was manipulative etc, etc... I could go on but this post would be too long. Anyways, I feel like my mind has been warped by this and has made me how I am in this relationship now. Constantly worried with anxiety about what he's doing when I'm not there, no matter who he's with. Although it doesn't help that he's in grad school with a lot of attractive girls and goes out with people from his class a lot. I feel like my trust and security have been so fucked by my first relationship that I can't even come back from it, even though it's been almost 3 years and I'm over my ex. Also my self-esteem is shit, so that could very well be my problem in addition to it all. I still don't know what to do about it.

Please, please help me out Reddit. I don't wanna lose this guy, and I need to learn how to fix this.

Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?
<bot>: I get jealous whenever my boyfriend does things without me, thinking it may have to do with a past abusive relationship and I want to stop feeling like this.