<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

My bf and I have been together for about five years, when we first started at the same college together. We're very in love and things are great. However, about three years ago, I went through I guess what you'd call a "dark period". I was depressed and I started drinking to the point where I'd black out or just be incapacitated. During some of these times, I fooled around with other guys. Sometimes my consent was definitely questionable but I chose to drink so I don't want to make excuses for myself. This went on for two months or so. How this whole "dark period" ended was with me trying to kill myself and everyone finding out, including my parents and my bf, who had no idea up to this point, because I got caught the next morning by my roommate (obviously didn't succeed, but I was very groggy/out of it from what I'd taken.) 

He doesn't know about the other guys. I still feel guilty and paranoid to this day and sometimes I wonder if I can continue a longterm relationship with someone when to me, I've tainted the relationship with my shitty behavior. I am pretty sure he would drop me in a minute if he knew, though.
<bot>: Went through a period three years ago where I'd black out and find out I had messed around with other people, still guilty about it.