<human>: I had my first pap smear ever today and it was scarier than it should have been. I was shaking and I felt like I couldn't breathe evenly at all. It was intrusive and I'm still squirming just thinking about it. I covered my face with my hands and started crying right there. Then the rape flashbacks started.

I think about the rape every single day. No joke; every single day. I've also been molested by women more times than I can count. 

Sometimes I cry randomly and I have symptoms of PTSD that I hide from my family and employer. I don't know whether or not to go to therapy. My boss picked and prodded into my life and found out about the rape. After laughing at me while I sat before him, crying, he said that therapy is for the weak, and that I had to just "deal with it". I've spent over a year trying to deal with it on my own. 

I still have nightmares. I still think about it for 30 or 60 minutes at a time every day. I still cried during that pap smear. I still broke down completely once they left me alone to put my clothes back on. I still couldn't keep myself from thinking about the rape and the molestations the whole rest of the day.

I need to get my act together. I'm sick of my default emotion being "depressed blob".

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I was raped and molested ages ago but I still can hardly get through my daily life. Can't tell family. Contemplating therapy.