<human>: When I was a young boy in the early 90s, one of my mom's best friends had 2 teenage sons. The oldest one was my hero. He had all kinds of cool stuff, drove me places, called me his little buddy, and played all kinds of sports. Totally the shit. He gets picked to be on the Nickelodeon show "GUTS" (before it went global, if that matters), and I, being in kindergarten at the time, was blown out of the fucking water. My hero gets to go be on motherfucking NICKELODEON and I will get to watch him on TV and tell all the other pussies in my class about it. This, in addition to my Power Rangers nap-time towel, would surely make me the biggest badass in the world.

He goes on the show, wins every competition, and in the end DESTROYS everyone else in the race up the Agro Crag. I had to wait a month later to watch it on TV, but he had the trophy at his house and I got to be in its presence. If that weren't enough, he took one of the Nerf balls from one of the competitions, got Mike O'malley to sign it, and fucking gave it to me. Not even the best part.

I hadn't told any of those losers in kindergarten about my wicked awesome friends success on the show. They had all forgot he was even going to be on it. Show and tell day comes, I made special arrangements to go first. I walk in with the motherfucking piece of the motherfucking AGRO CRAG and everyone loses their shit. It was incredible, and one of like 4 memories I have from Kindergarten.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: In kindergarten, my teenage friend wins GUTS and I brought in the piece of the Agro Crag to show and tell.