<human>: I feel ridiculous making this post but have extremely little relationship experience. Throwaway because he reddits, fairly certain he's not on this sub though.

I met 'Ted' last semester when I joined a club, thought he was cute and got vibes that maybe he was into me but we're both kinda awkward so basically all I could bring myself to do was make conversation/stand way too close to him. Of note is that I saw him a couple days a week since he also TA'd a class of mine and that one night out we found each other drunk got food and we walked home with our arms around each other which I thought would lead somewhere but the next day we were super awkward about it. Go me.

Over the summer all that happened was we messaged each other respective happy birthdays and a couple group video calls.

Well this semester it turns out we have class together every day in addition to a weekend club meeting. We save each other seats and will hangout sometimes in our club room or I'll go sit with him during his office hours at his suggestion. We kinda just make small talk and smile at each other a lot. Sitting next to him daily is slowly making more and more depressed since nothing is happening and I don't know what to do. Mostly cause his signals are pretty mixed and I'm not sure he likes me. He's also another looong time single.

This is symptomatic of a larger issue where I'm absolutely terrified of guys I'm attracted to due to a painful childhood/adolescence of never feeling wanted by anyone, peers, parents, siblings, boys at the end of that list. I've been told that I'm attractive/very pretty/cute or whatever but freak out whenever interest is expressed in me. I do go to frat parties with friends and they try to set me up with guys and I just stand there looking scared or run away. Or add to them my giant 'guys I've made out with then refuse to text back' list.

I'm kind of tired of not ever having an emotional connection with anyone/being a 19 yr old virgin so any suggestions would be very much appreciated and thank you for taking them time to read this.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: Awkward, inexperienced teenage girl doesn't know how to boy, would appreciate suggestions in order to mature/live life.