<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

This fuck-up *did* happen today. Just a few hours ago, actually.

So, some setup first. I'm currently in 11th grade in high school. I was in my last class of the day (which is a computer hardware class) and we've all been rather fed up with our teacher as of late, so we were hanging out and trying to enjoy ourselves as much as possible. I was certainly not feeling up to doing any work, so I proceeded to walk around the class quite often and "doing work". My good friend (we'll call him M for the sake of anonymity) started up a conversation with me. Now, normally when he wants to tell me something he wants to tell me a joke (5 minutes prior, he even told me a joke about the Westboro Baptist Church) so I was ready for something to chuckle about. 

He says: "Hey, so my dad came home last night..."

Jokingly, I quietly said: "drunk?"

I was surprised when he didn't laugh when I said this (I'm an inconsiderate asshole, I know). 

Instead, he get's fairly quiet and nods his head. "My dad's actually kind of an alcoholic."

In my head, I'm thinking '*oh shit oh shit I'm such a fucking asshole*' and apologize profusely. My other friend sitting next to him was chuckling, and M had started chuckling too. I'm still in shock of how horrible of an idea that was.
<bot>: Friend is about to tell me his dad is an alcoholic, and I joke that his dad is one before he even says so. Cue a thousand apologies.