<human>: My fitness "journey" has been just. So. Confusing. 

Since I grew up dancing (ballet, mostly), I pretty much inevitably developed an eating disorder, and was underweight for a while. My eating habits have been disordered ever since, but in the past year and a half, it's turned into something completely different. 

Let me preface this next part with the following: Up until about a year and a half ago, I was actually really, really happy with my body for the first time. I was a healthy weight and felt amazing in all my clothes. 

...And then I started the dreaded desk job.

Since my job is so sedentary, I pretty much completely stopped exercising (this also had to do with a dance-related injury that happened a few years ago that still affects me) and started eating A LOT. Like, more than I ever, ever thought I would allow myself to eat, given my history. I joined a gym back in April and was really enjoying it, but then I got pneumonia and it totally threw me off track. I've been having a really hard time getting back into the gym and staying on track diet-wise, because whenever I count calories/use a food diary, I regress right back into my old super unhealthy habits. 

But I'm putting my fucking foot down today. I'm 5'2" and I'm weighing in at ~160 lbs right now. That ain't cool. I have a wide frame, too, which doesn't help. I've really never been so unhappy with my body. 

I'm in my workout clothes and am on my way to spend some quality time at my gym. I'm finally feeling motivated again...I just need to STAY motivated AND healthy. 

Any advice would be awesome, especially from redditors that have personal experience with eating disorders.

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: used to be bulimic, can't use a food diary because it's a trigger, gained a whole bunch of weight, need to lose it in a healthy way.