<human>: Jules and I were together 5 years, engaged for 6 months. About a month ago I got cold feet and cheated on her with an ex gf. This was the only time of weakness I've had and it only helped reassure me that Jules was the love of my life and only woman I wanted to be with. Of course this had an opposite affect on her and she refused to see past this.

So Jules and I have gone no contact for the whole month but my mom, her maid of honour 'Carrie' and my best man have been our mediators throughout the whole ordeal of canceling the wedding, moving and returning each others belongings. Well, a couple days ago and my only contact with Julia was a phone call telling me that she had just had a miscarriage so my first instinct is to ask what hospital she's at so I can see her. Well she doesn't want to see me right now/has to rest. Apparently she didn't know she was pregnant at all until she miscarried. A day later my mom, dad, brother and the majority of my wedding party have seen her. They say her room is filled with so much love, flowers and Carrie has never left her side.

Now, I'm not jealous about all the love Julia's been receiving, she's been through a lot and I hurt her deeply but I've been at a loss losing the love of my life and the miscarriage. The conversation starter for all of my conversations lately have been, "how's Julia doing?" My best man is the only one to ask how I'm doing. I'm constantly bawling. I've never cried so much and so hard in my life. I imagine what our mixed race babies would look like. I believe that if she was still pregnant, I'd still have a chance at a life with her. It feels like someone stabbed me in the stomach and is turning the knife every time I want to be there for her and hold her but I know she doesn't want to see me yet. None of my friends/family realize how this is affecting me. I feel like they genuinely believe I didn't give a shit about her because I gave up our life together so fast.

Provide a brief overview of the text.
<bot>: I need support right now but I've received no condolences about my current losses because I'm the one who tanked my engagement.