<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

This fuck up happened today over the course of a couple days. 
I recently found this out and I had to take a shower from the disgustingness that had unfolded.

Anyways rewind to about a week ago when a girl and I do the dirt and all that jazz, I wrap it up in a tissue and throw it out forgetting about it. We go out to eat and I come home to find that my dog has been in my room and there is scattered tissue all over the place. I notice that there isnt a used condom laying around so I just assume its still in the garbage and dont bother to investigate further.

Rewind a little closer to yesterday night when I'm about to go to sleep and my mom comes in the room to ask me a question. My dog quickly runs in and hides under my bed. It's too small a space for anyone to fit under there so we just have to wait until he comes out himself. Couple minutes go by and I'm just laying down in bed all of a sudden I hear a **SNAP**, the same sound as a rubber band when you play around with it followed my sounds of my dog choking. I disregard both as he quickly runs out of the room. 

Rewind to just now I come home from work to see there is a used condom with holes in my trashcan on top of everything out in the open. So.... to put 2 and 2 together my dog had been munching on my love juice like it was snack time, only to be discovered by my parents and shoved back in my face (placed on the garbage) to show the error of my ways. I think I'm going to throw up tbh...
<bot>: Left used condom in waste basket, dog takes it out and plays with it, snack time, parents put it back where it should have stayed.