<human>: Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?

Reddit,
I have managed to take the very best relationship I have and place it in a position where I don't know if it can be repaired.  For a long time now, I have had feelings for my best friend.  Because this relationship was so valuable to me, I had avoided confessing my true thoughts for her out of fear that they would interfere with and ultimately worsen the bond we have.  However, due to a number of circumstances, I have recently confessed these feelings to her, and I have since handled this in the worst way.  In part because these feelings have been bottled up for a while now, in part because I have some major self-esteem issues, and in part because she is a very long distance away and I have not seen her in a bit, I have become an emotional roller coaster - one day letting her know that no matter what she will always be my best friend and the next suggesting that we should cut off all ties because "just friends" can't work.  I don't like who I have become.  Rather than demonstrating my best qualities, I find myself highlighting the worst parts about me.  We've had some bad days since, but today has hit me especially hard.  Never before have I regretted so much saying the things I said.  This situation has caused me some pain, but nothing matters more to me than our friendship, and I never intended to damage it in the way I have.  She's been very accommodating throughout this process, but I think I have crossed a line tonight, and I don't know if I can fix this.  Does anybody have experience with this kind of situation?  How did you manage to overcome it?  What advice would you offer to somebody like me?  I don't care if she and I aren't meant to be something more; I just want to stop being a jerk to her because I think she's an awesome person.
<bot>: Confessed feelings to best friend, have since become a jerk towards best friend, want to stop being a jerk to best friend.  Seeking advice on how to move forward and stop being a jerk to best friend.