<human>: I live in a country where a lot of crimes (theft, mostly) happen in public transportation. Being the paranoid that I am, I not only carry a swiss knife in my bag, but I also enrolled myself in basic self-defense classes, and carried the strongest pepper-spray sold in town. I am female.

I do not usually take the bus, but the time this fuck-up happened, riding the bus seemed more convenient (as the train broke down that day).I got into a seat, and the bus was almost full in a couple of minutes.

Now, an unusually tall, dark man decided to sit beside me. He was getting all fidgety and I could see he was trying to reach for something in his large duffel bag. The paranoid in me started thinking, "he's reaching for his knife, or his gun, or something to strangle me with..." It didn't help that he kept looking at me from time to time which made me intensely uncomfortable.

He then seemed to have found that thing he was looking for earlier. He looked at me intently, from top to bottom. My heart was beating really fast by this time, and I already have my pepper spray in hand, ready to fire. The man started to whisper, "Miss..."

I FIRED THE GODDAMN PEPPER-SPRAY AND STOOD UP AND PANICKED AND ASKED THE BUS DRIVER TO LET ME GO DOWN AS I WAS BEING ROBBED.

This time, I was almost near the bus the door when I decided to look back on the creepy man trying to abduct me.

He was holding a bible and some pamphlets and was desperately crying for help.

I facepalm-ed my way out of the bus.

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Rode a bus, being extremely paranoid, pepper-sprayed a pastor (whom I mistook for a mugger).