<human>: Using my lurker account as a throwaway because my SO knows my username, and other reasons people use throwaways. 

I'd also like to say that while any kind words and advice are appreciated, I'm not here seeking help or trying to be diagnosed with anything or any shit like that, I'm just going to vent.

I (19, F) just finished the best semester I've had yet in college, I'm finally away from my psychologically abusive mother for extended periods of time for the first time in my life, and my boyfriend and I are about to celebrate our one year anniversary and we are doing better emotionally and sexually than we ever have. Life is overall wonderful, and I have so much to be thankful for. 

There's always this looming feeling, however, that I'm going to fuck everything up somehow and that I don't deserve for my life to be this amazing. Whenever my life takes an upswing, I grow increasingly more worried that something will go wrong and fuck it all up for me again, because this has always seemed to happen in the past. The anxiety and depression are affecting my eating and sleeping habits, and though I've recently started taking an anti depressant (the same one my father has taken with success for over a decade) they haven't gotten to the point temporally of helping me yet, and they won't for the next several weeks. 

I'm scared that they aren't going to help as much as they need to. I'm scared that I'm going to somehow lose the love of my life because of my problems. I'm scared of doing poorly in school again and disappointing my father. And more than anything, I'm scared that worrying about these things will turn them into reality. It's this morbid cycle I see myself go in, and I feel like I'm going crazy trying to figure out how to stop it and what to do.

Thank you for reading this. If enough people have some sort of interest in my progress I can post an update in about a month to let you all know how I'm holding up, once the anti depressants start doing their job.

Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?
<bot>: my life is better than its ever been but I'm so scared of fucking it up that I think I might make it a self-fulfilling prophecy, and that cycle is making me nuts