<human>: So this actually happened last Friday. 

I'd been invited to a stag do and a mate had said they'd give me a lift at 6. I'd been working around the house all day and hadn't seen the time. When I noticed it i had 30min to get the kids from the childminder to my brothers to be minded over night, get some beer and a shower..

So into the shower i go (5min tops), and then off i went at the speed of light, grabbed the kids shouting thanks to the childminder as there was no time to make small talk. Round to my brothers kids were excited to see the baby cousin. I got quick cuddles and off to the off licence to get the beer. Straight in and straight back out again gotta rush or mate will be at my house waiting for me. 

Pull into the drive and there is no sign of him, i sigh in relief and then grab the beer out of the car and into the house. I set the beer on the stairs and head to the toilet for a quick piss. When i hear the car alarm. "WTF, have I left a window open or something???" i saunter outside with the keys and the car is all the way at the bottom of the drive exceptionally close to the garage door. "hmm could've sworn i didn't park that close to the garage" 

As I approach my heart starts to sink, "oh shit" car is embedded in the garage door. well lets see how bad the damage is. I get into the car (noticing the handbrake is not fully up) and reverse it out of the garage door. I then get out of the car and in a moment of madness I kick the garage door in frustration / anger and immediately start hopping and cursing as I realize i have just broken my big toe. 

Upon inspection of the car there is a tiny scratch in the bumper well that's not too bad. The garage door is totaled, I "straightened" it out with a sledge hammer until i can get it replaced next week. 

Only up side is car wasn't badly damaged.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: Didn't put handbrake on properly, Car smashed garage door, I kicked said door in anger and broke my toe.