<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

My son and I have always had a pretty good relationship, he has always been very responsible and smart until recently. He started his own business about a year ago and has done very well so far. Well enough that he bought his own house last month. About two weeks ago me and my husband decided to drop by for a visit, he only lives about a mile away. The house is off the road a bit and has a long driveway, as we pull up we see about 6-7 cars in the driveway so we go ahead and go in the house because the door was unlocked, there were about 10 people standing around drinking beer including our son. Alcohol has never been something we approved of in our family and our son was always raised in church, my husband was pretty irate and made a little bit of a scene. Anyway about a week later we go by for another visit and out son had installed a security gate with a keypad to get in. We called our son who was home at the time and ask for the passcode but he didn't give it to us, he opened the gate by remote from the house. We had a long talk and he claims we do not respect his privacy and that he is independent now. In my eyes he is only 21 years old and still has a lot of learning to do, and throwing alcohol fueled parties is not responsible behavior. Just looking for some advice on how to best handle this situation, thanks.
<bot>: Caught our son throwing a party at his house, he now has installed a security gate and refuses to give us the passcode.