<human>: Fresh off of the vine of my dumbassery, this is one for reddit if I've ever experienced a proper fuck-up...

A little bit of back story for the week... I've been sick with a horrible stomach flu for the last two days, which has rendered me completely from coming into actual contact with any human being (except the brave soul I call my girlfriend, whom has been giving me the cuddles, as I've sort of needed them whenever I wasn't driving the porcelain bus). My best friend (let's call her Hannah) has been wanting to take care of me all week, but I've blatantly refused, as I have not wanted to get her sick. Today, I started feeling a good amount better after some different remedies (hot bath, famotidine, sleep), and decided to let her come visit me. We haven't seen each other in a while either, so maybe we could play Smash Bros. or watch Shia Lebouf by Rob Cantor, like usual.
She comes and makes me soup and takes care of me for a while, and we do our normal stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary. Later, my girlfriend even joins in and we all just have a good time, and they're taking turns taking care of me. At this point, I feel on top of the world, and am feeling so much better, to top it all off. All good things must come to an end though, as Hannah has to go attend a birthday dinner of hers. I understand, and walk her to the door.

As I'm walking to the door, we're kind of dicking around and doing our little inside jokes and just having a good time before she departs. Something behind me falls, and I quickly turn to see what it was. It was just one of the cats knocking shit over. As I turn, I took a step forward, tripped, and landed right on Hannah. Lips first. We full on kissed. At this point, we are both extremely stunned and have no idea what just happened, but as soon as we come to, we each pull away fast. She quickly turns and runs to her car without saying another word to me. My girlfriend also caught sight of this accident and hasn't spoke to me since.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: Here's SheWantsTheEG's guide to making sure both your girlfriend and best friend don't speak to you for the rest of eternity.