<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

Mine is from quite some time ago... I was in 9th grade, I went to online school so about 3 times a year I had to go to this building for testing. I went there for the Final exam of the school year but my father didn't have a lot of gas in his car, so he tells me "I will drive you there, but when you are done you have to bike the 7 miles back" I accepted because I enjoyed riding my bike and it was mostly down hill. 5 hours later I finished testing and begun my ride home, unfortunatley though I got lost... I was now somewhere around 10 miles away from my house and about 3 miles away from any sort of city like area. So I decided to ride back to the church I saw a mile or so back and ask for directions, but on the way there I got the urge to fart, so I stood up on my bike and... I shat myself... I had no idea what to do, I was about a half a mile away from a bathroom and I was riding a bike in diharria covered boxers! I eventually made it to the church (not that it is important but I am an atheist) but noone was inside, it was quiet, eerily quiet. I directed myself to the bathroom and cleaned myself up but then I noticed, there wasn't a trash can. I heard footsteps comming and I panicked, in an act of impulse I threw my shit-soaked underwear against the wall and ran. On my way out I saw a man, he didn't really have any speacial features that made him rememberable but I didn't care. If he were to see my underwear stuck to the wall in the bathroom then I would be in some deep shit (pun not intended). I hopped on my bike and got away as quickly as possible, but I can't help but wonder what his reaction was when he saw my boxers, stuck to the wall, covered in shit...
<bot>: shat myself while riding bike, went into church, flung them against the wall, they stuck, saw a guy outside heading my way, got the fuck out of there, biked 14 miles home.