<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

This actually happened today (big shocker) in my Bio class. I'm a freshman in highschool.

So I'm pretty well known as the guy who screw around, and this has a reason. I really don't take too much seriously. For strange cosmic reasons, I got a crush on this one girl that's in a few of my classes. She said something about not doing her homework and not caring about the consequences, so I snapped my finger and was like, "You go girl!" She stares at me and tells me that I had to snap three times. I told her that I didn't have enough for three since I was about to storm out. Snapped another time and started to walk away sassily, then I tripped on a desk as I turned around. Broke two test tubes and spilled hydro chloric acid everywhere. Everyone stared at me as I clumsily got up, using the table as support. Turns out my hand was cut pretty deep by a shard of glass, so I smeared blood all over a lab table. I felt like the most idiotic thing to have ever lived as I was written a note to the nurse's office.
<bot>: Tried to be funny to my crush. Fell over and hit everything possible, then proceeded to smear blood on a lab table. FML.