<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

There is a very popular video streaming site that I would like to work at. I have done enough research to find all of the talent acquisition and recruiters emails. I have added them all on LinkedIn, but they don't know me. They currently don't have any positions on their website that are up my alley, though I am 100% I could be an asset to them. I am thinking of sending them a cold call email explaining what I do and to see if they would be interested in an interview. I am having a hard time phrasing the email. Opening lines to get their attention are hard.
<bot>: Does anyone have any suggestions of how I could get my foot in the door via email without sounding desperate, cheesy or douchey. Thanks!