<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

Hey guess what this actually happened today! woot!

So this happened about 20 min ago when I got home. I was out all day with my friend, we went to a hockey game and a few other things, and I get home and I think; "Well I should change my underwear because why not!". Just so you know, these underwear are brand new, no stains, no holes, no nothing, just out of the package. So I change my underwear and then I realize I have to take the biggest shit ever, and on the spot I just fart. I don't mean your average fart, I mean a shit yourself, wet fart you can hear all the way down the street. This is where the FU happens... I run to the bathroom (across from my bedroom) and just drop the pants, no shit stains. But what is there? A BIG ASS HOLE RIGHT WHERE MY ASS WOULD BE. I farted so badly that it tore a hole in my underwear. Oops. Now I've locked myself in my room, I'm too embarrassed to face my family, fml.
<bot>: Got home, changed underwear, farted so loud my family probably thought a bomb went off, new hole in my brand new underwear. Now hiding in my closet.