<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

The laundry bin was full and my underwear drawer was down to the dredges. The only thing left were briefs. Briefs from too many years back that, while clean, weren't exactly accommodating an extra inch of fat around my waist. But clean underwear is worth more than comfort, so I slap those fuckers on all day and don't think much about it, since the fit isn't too snug.

I decided to take a break from working all day and night lately to splurge some time on D3 at night, the wife and kid are in bed, it's quiet, the whisky flows, the pants come off, and I sit in my chair farming away Torment levels away looking for a legendary staff.

I tend to sit cross-legged whenever possible, and the briefs are digging into the fold of skin between my leg and groin, and I keep shaking my leg up and down, up and down, and if it feels snug, maybe the whisky clouds the logical part of my brain that might notice and do something about the friction burn. I finish up around 3am and head to bed, and wake up feeling an odd... pain in the joint.

By the end of day, the pain has turning into a dull throbbing burn that won't go away. I can't open my legs without a thrum of agony and I'm wondering what the fuck is going on. Any pain in the groinal area is scary (because I'm clearly a child), so I ask the wife to examine the (heavily forested) joint because I'm convinced some alien host has taken root.

She peers in and starts laughing, "Did you wax a single line of hair off your groin? There's a thin inch-long strip of skin with no hair on it at all." She finds it hilarious that a single "strip of waxing" has reduced me into a whimpering, hobbling invalid.

The pain is just as bad today, and I keep having to walk around to dull the pain a bit. I applied some peroxide but didn't see any bubbling or even feel any real burning, so I don't think I have any open wounds or infections. But goddamn.
<bot>: Wore briefs a size too small, gave myself massive rug-burn and ripped off all the hair in the joint between thigh and groin.