<human>: This is something I've wondered about for a while...why is it that everyone has to make a big stink out of taking more than a minute or two to poop? Why is it a race? I've even had friends brag about how quickly they bust a deuce. We all have bodily functions that need taken care of on a daily basis such as brushing teeth and peeing...you don't hear people brag about how fast they brushed their teeth or how fast they pee'd. On the flipside, you don't hear people criticizing others for taking five minutes to brush their teeth instead of two minutes. Big deal if I take...oh holy shit! EIGHT minutes to unload some brownies instead of three! I must be the biggest asshat ever with extremely shitty bodily functions! Excuse me for taking an extra couple minutes to relax it out instead of cannon blasting as hard as I can...and then another minute or two to wipe (which I've noticed wiping is a rarity these days judging by fellow poopers in public bathrooms).

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: Why do we have to poop fast to be socially accepted? Why is this one activity singled out and so touchy even though ALL of us do it?