<human>: I briefly posted about this on r/depression. 

Long story short, I've got some hereditary issues that just came to light and the doctor told me that I need to start taking them seriously. I've got to commit to a strict diet and exercise regimen. Not adhering *greatly* increases the chance that I'll see an early grave due.  

I've always struggled with severe depression and have been medicated for about 10 years. That being said, I fight the disease and its intrusive thoughts daily. Hearing that I can expect my life to be shorter just doesn't really seem...that bad I guess... I don't know. I'm mad at myself for not wanting to change to stay alive. 

My husband is really pissed that I'm making no progress. The thing esthete I want to be alive for him and my future kids and the family that's counting on me. I'm just not really interested in staying alive for myself. 

It sucks. I have a wonderful life. The depression makes it feel like I don't appreciate it enough. I can barely get out of bed on most days and the threat that I won't have to fight that anymore just doesn't really seem like a threat at all. 

Thanks for listening.

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<bot>: Dr. said to shape up or I'd see an early grave but depression is keeping me from seeing that as a bad thing.