<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

I feel disgusting. When I am really hurt I get accusatory, and I pretty much demand answers, to understand why he hates me so much/treats me so terribly. He tells me I ruin his life and I bring nothing good to him and he doesn't care about me. Basically, it feels emotionally abusive on his end, but when I think of it, I feel like I'm the abusive one and I absolutely hate myself. I know I'm being scatterbrained and vague, but I really need to get this out. I don't want to talk to friends about it, because I will hate myself more for imposing it on them. Please tell me how to love and respect myself when I feel dirty and terrible, and he hates me so much. How do I give a shit about myself?
<bot>: My ex really hates me and I think I fucked up and may have been emotionally abusive to him without realizing it. It's making me hate myself. How do I respect myself, and how do I make it stop hurting so much?