<human>: My hair was getting quite long and too long to gel how I like it so I decided to get my locks cut. I go into Fantastic Sam's (probably my first fuck up) to get my hair trimmed so I can go back to looking funky fresh. I go in to be greeted by a Russian lady with the hair of a 14 year old girl who has daddy issues and loves dubstep. This lady was straight up, "carry log on her shoulder", vodka drinking, Russian lady. Picture the stereotype, but with hair that screams she doesn't know how to make decent decisions. After waiting for her to clean up her station, I sit down in the leathery throne where I am cloaked. 
Now I have pretty short hair, and have gone in there many times, and it normally takes about 15-20 minutes to trim it back to the length I like it. This Russian lady takes about an hour to cut my hair. Now I would have no problem with that if the haircut was decent... but the back looked like someone gave her those scissors that make designs out of the edge of the paper. She removed hair from the sides but not the top, causing me to now look like macklemore, if macklemore had now a botched back and uneven sideburns.

Can you provide a brief overview of the text?
<bot>: middle aged russian lady tortured my hair like I was in Guantanamo, now I look like a white rapper who raps about being poor