<human>: Yo!

I had a search for this but couldn't find anything similar here. This is my issue:

I'm a writer and earn money selling my books on Amazon. Amazon payments can either be made by EFT to a US bank account, or by cheque.

Being from Australia, I can currently only receive cheques. This means I have to wait for a cheque to be posted to me (5-10 days), then when I cash it I have to pay an AU$20-odd fee, then I have to wait a minimum of 28 days for the cheque to clear.

*International cheque deposits suck*

Does anyone know of a way to open up an American bank account remotely, as an Australian citizen? Ideally I'd do it with Citibank, as they allow free/instant transfers from a US citibank account to an AUS citibank account, but any others would likely be preferable to waiting 28 days + fees + likely crappy exchange rates. 

Taxes and stuff aren't an issue as I have an EIN with the IRS and am paying tax in the USA regardless of what I do. 

Any ideas on how to best handle the situation? Something like [Simple] would be nice, but everything I've come across requires an SSN and a US address. If I could get around that with an W-8BEN/ITIN/EIN it would be just dandy.

The cheques are in the US$1,000-$6,000 range (monthly) if that has any effect on things.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: Looking for advice on receiving Amazon payments from the US -> Australia, preferably by opening up a bank account and doing an international money transfer.