<human>: so this actually did just happen.

i live in a 2-bedroom place, but my roommate's been gone for a while, so ive been taking full advantage of that fact by walking around mostly (or entirely) naked, dramatically increasing "me" time, and not closing the door when i go to the bathroom.

relevant house design note: if you enter my house and go straight ahead, you'll hit the stairs. at the top of the stairs is the bathroom. so, basically, if you walk into the house and continue for another five feet then look up, it's a straight shot into the toilet.

so there i am, sitting on the toilet, reading reddit (natch). i proceed to wipe, as i am wont to do at times, start to pull my pants up, and then, as im standing, decide to do one more safety wipe (because you just never know).

i proceed to head downstairs for some breakfast, and see my housekeeper, Betty there. im surprised, but dont think too much of it as i realize it's saturday (her normal day for coming). she's acting uncharacteristically awkward for some reason as we chat a little about her family so i can practice my spanish. but she's way more shy and reserved than normal (she's been coming here for 5.5 years).

i go back up to my room, and im on my computer working. she eventually comes upstairs to clean the bathroom. i notice that, as she walks into the bathroom, she very deliberately shuts the door. 

like... repeatedly.

...looking right at me. 

im like "uh... ok" and dont think much of it.

then a few minutes later, it hits me: as i went for that safety wipe, i was turned around, ass facing directly towards the stairs. she must've come into the house right then and unfortunately lifted her gaze, which means i basically gave her a postcard picture view of my hairy asshole covered in shit.

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: straight up wiped my asshole in full view of my 60-year-old, grandmother-of-8 Latina housekeeper