<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

Hi reddit! Throwaway, of course, because my boyfriend is a redditor.

I'm not the best girlfriend to my boyfriend  of 8 months. I think I do pretty well 90% of the time, but I have my bad moments. I love him with all of my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. (Something something rushing into things something. I know it's fast, but I also just know he's the one for me.)

Here's the issue: I'm insecure as fuck. I get incredibly jealous whenever he interacts with another woman in a particular way. As an example, he was recently being goofy with a mutual female friend of ours and I was very upset. I pretty much ignored him while we were with our friends (to avoid making a scene) and, later, tried to talk about it. It turned into a long fight. Him saying things like "I love you, I've been here for you," and me saying things like "I'm insecure, I can't trust anyone, I'll never be enough." 

In the end I apologized to him but I still feel horrible for letting my insecurities run rampant. I just have this deep rooted fear that I don't deserve him and I am not good enough for him. I don't want to drive him away, but I don't know what to do. When I get into that mode of "protecting myself" by pushing him away, it's so hard to reason with myself. Does anyone else struggle with this?
<bot>: My boyfriend is absolutely amazing, and I want to spend my life with him. I keep pushing him away. How do I relax?