<human>: So me and my girlfriend always play a game where, when the other person isn't looking, we try to put our middle finger up behind the other person's head. 

This is, today, where I fucked up. After timing my approach perfectly and analysing the situation I managed to pull off a 6/10 9 second long finger blast in her direction. Eagerly chasing a personal best of 20 seconds, I charmed my way up to an above-average 12 seconds. Greedily I continued until she snapped her head around proclaiming 'I know what you were doing', grabbing my hand in what I can only describe as a super-sonic speed death grip upon my middle finger, she began preparing for a swearing-finger crusade. Being the coward I am, I tugged hard and fast to remove my finger from her clutches, only to tug so hard it flicked my own swearing finger all the way back, flicking right into my eye and the rest of the hand came crashing into my nose. 

Instant Karma.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Swore behind my girlfriend's head to have my hand near crushed to death only to escape and poke myself in the eye.