<human>: Hi everyone,

My GF and I have been together for a while and she has indicated in the past that she's yearning for a woman's touch. I'm pretty open minded and i felt that since I'm not a woman, I would be okay with her drinking / flirting / what have you with some friends. We had talked about it at a point when I had utmost confidence in our relationship, but she stopped bringing it up and I guess I had assumed that the urge had passed. 

What went wrong: for the last year(ish) our relationship has kind of sucked. We love each other but are also dissatisfied in some arenas. I've been real uncomfortable with the dynamic in our relationship for  about the last month because she asked out a gay fem friend of mine without giving me a heads up or anything. I confronted her and told her that I want her to tell me when she's going out. I snooped her phone today and found out she's seen about 1 woman a month since late 2013. 

That part alone doesn't bother me, but I'm feeling left in the dark and the lack of communication means i dont have a say in her extracurriculars and that she's increasing the risk of giving me an STD. I have told her that seeing a woman wouldn't bother me, but that was at a high point in our relationship and now i feel like i'm stuck in a sinking ship while she's having fun behind my back. 

Reddit, how do i express my feelings to my SO like an adult? How do I make it okay to have snooped? I really don't want to be alone for christmas :(

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: GF has girl crushes, but hides them from me (I'm more upset about the secrecy than anything else). I feel our relationship is being neglected because she has a fun/sexy resource outside of me. what to do?