<human>: In less than five months, I will be turning 21, which means I'll finally be able to buy my favorite white wine, a Beretta and enter big-kid nightclubs. 

Long-story-short, I'm very unattractive to women. How do I know? Whenever I'm in public, they never even look in my general direction and the snowball's-chance-in-Hell they do, they look away. I have a history of being led on and cheated on. Even to this day, I get bullied and spit on by women, and it's not the flirty shit either. To add to that, I don't have a good history with the women in my family either: an overbearing mother and emotionally abusive sister really does its toll. I could go into details but that takes up too much time. 

I am just totally broken when it comes to the opposite sex. It has gotten to the point where I am daydreaming about scaring and hurting them in terrible ways. Whenever I'm in public and see women I'm interested in, I just fill up with rage and hurt because I know that I'll never be something that they want. But at the same time, I still feel charmed and lured in. 

How can I stop these fuzzy feelings and just forget about it altogether? I don't care if I become psycho, I just need to get it out of my mind.

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: A long history of being hurt by women has left me angry and hateful, but still charmed and seduced by them. How can I stop feeling these feelings?