<human>: I'm a 19 F and my boyfriend or well ex now maybe is 19 as well. We have a long history through when I was dating another guy and I cheated on that guy with my boyfriend. Yeah it was stupid but it happened. We didn't start dating till about 7 or so months after the cheating incident and it was about a month after the other guy and I had broken up. Now I know this guy is for me. I have never meant anyone like him and I am beyond in love with him. We have fought a good amount and had some nasty blow outs and one would have happened today over the same reasons they have for the last six months but he said that he just didn't have the energy to fight anymore about it and I know he means it. The basic problem is that I have or now had this close guy friend and my boyfriend mentioned several times that he was uncomfortable but for some reason I thought it was fine and so the blow out happened. Then I said I would not be friends with him and my boyfriend meant way more to me than that but eventually I would slowly go back to my friend out of guilt because I felt terrible ignoring him and stuff when he had done nothing wrong and this happened quite a few times. The latest one was here and my boyfriend says that it shows I just don't care enough to keep to my word. I feel so defeated because there is nothing I can say or do. I've said it all and done it all in our last big fights and I fell through. I feel like a terrible person and I know I deserve to lose my boyfriend but I just wish I could make it work some way. I'm just so confused.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: I made promises to my boyfriend over and over again and broke them over and over again and now I may have lost him forever