<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

It's been since December since we've last spoken. It was all a mess, it's a very very long story, and it was a shitty mess made by me and him also...

But now... I still find myself having dreams, and seeing him in them once in a while.  I have short daydreams about him from time to time...

I've come to the realization that I don't think I'm completely or thoroughly over him.  I loved him oh so much, and I got stupid, tangled shit up and ruined eeeverything we had.  But I loved him so.

I know his reddit username... I read what he's commented on, what he says... I can't help it.  I can't stop.  I want to know how he's doing.

I just want him in my life again.  I don't care if it's not a romantic relationship.  He was such a light in my life, that he was irreplaceable and forever will be.  He's blocked me from Facebook for less emotional strains since the breakup.

Reddit... if this silence, this nothingness has to be, then how do I cut these last strings?  How do I make my heart stop trying to turn itself inside out?  

I doubt he knows of my account name here... thus, I doubt he'll read this.  I really, really hope he does somehow by chance...  But I don't think that will ever happen.  I wish I could just tell him how I feel and just get it off my chest, maybe that will help.  I miss him greatly.
<bot>: Realize I'm not over him.  Can't seem to let him completely go.  How do you cut ALL of the ties and just let go?