<human>: This one actually is from today, and it's my first post here, I hope I do this right.

My cousin has a small house on a large plot of land in the rural Puget-Sound area and I've been spending a lot of time helping him add on to his house. Today I had to build a form for a concrete pour. This may not be integral to the story, but I hope to paint a clear background to my actions. This mostly meant that I needed to cut a few pieces of wood to specific measurements. So I got myself a worm-drive saw and a 2x4. I looked around for a stable place to brace the 2x4 for a safe cut, but I got lazy... I stopped short, knelt down and decided to use my leg.

I crouched down so that my feet were still flat upon the ground, then I lowered my right knee to the ground for support and laid the 2x4 across my left knee and ran it parallel to my right leg so that one end was elevated up off the ground and of course the other end sloped down until it touched the ground. With the 2x4 laid across my leg and my hearing protection in place, I picked up my skilsaw, placed it on the beam halfway down and proceeded to cut. About 75% of the way through, the weight of the saw caused the two halves of the beam to bow inward, causing the saw to bind... When the saw bound up, it launched rapidly and suddenly in the opposite direction... directly toward my right leg, where it landed ever so gently (this thing sucks at sarcasm lol).

Here's where I explain the difference between "almost" cutting my leg off and limping away from the dumbest thing I've ever done. You see, it just so happens that I keep my phone in my pocket, like a lot of people I'm assuming. So when that saw viciously lurched for to devour my upper thigh, it instead ripped into a meaty chunk of Galaxy S4, slashed a small gash in my leg and ripped a massive hole in my jeans.

The best part is that my phone still works and I don't have to shell out for stitches... or a prosthetic.

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: Raging worm-drive saw assaulted my leg, my phone sacrificed its life(partially) to save my flesh.