<human>: Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?

I think I am getting closer to achieving this goal. I just took a perfect, wipeless shit. The principal technique I utilized for this endeavor was arching my back as deeply as possible while looking straight ahead. If someone were to walk in on me while I was taking that shit, I would doubtless look preposterous, but then again, this is why we don't shit in plain sight.

Function > Fashion, when it comes to shitting.

PROTIP: Rocking back and forth whilst sitting atop the pot can instigate the shitting process should you find yourself in one of those "I really need to poop but, for some reason, nothing's coming out" situations. I've also found that jumping jacks facilitate deuce dropping.
<bot>: I am a man in search of the perfect shitting technique, where I will never have to wipe again. Please contribute all relevant information that will assist me, and other redditors, in this worthwhile pursuit