<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

I'll start. A few summers ago, when I was home alone for the day, I got a call from a woman who called me by my Chinese name. When I responded, she started talking in rapid Chinese and excitedly introduced herself as my sister-in-law.
    
"My sister-in-law?" I asked, dumbfounded. 
   
"Yeah, your brother and I just got married a few months ago, didn't you know?" At this point, I'm in complete shock, because I am an only child.
    
She continued to go on about how she was coming to the US and wanted to see us, but all I could think was, *Holy shit. I have a brother. In China. Who I've never heard of. My parents have hid my brother from me my whole life.* I tell her to call us back later, and then proceed to sit in my room for the next half an hour trying to process this. I've always wanted an older brother and now that I found out that I had one, I had to readjust my whole outlook on life. My imagination was running rampant with scenarios of me taking the next flight to China to reunite with my secret sibling, but eventually the rational side of me kicked in. Convincing myself it was a scam or a prank, I decided to call my parents. As I waited for them to pick up, my hand was shaking. I was fully ready to have the kind of dramatic confrontation only seen in movies.
    
As soon as I told them about the phone call, they simply said, "Oh, your cousin's new wife! She told us she was coming to visit." That's when I remembered that the word for male cousin and the word for brother are the same thing in Chinese.
<bot>: For half an hour, I thought I had a long-lost older brother in China. Turns out, I'm just a failure at speaking Chinese.