<human>: Hi everyone. Sorry if my english isn't very good, its not my first language. I don't really know what to say. I feel like my life is falling apart. After god knows how much denial and lying to myself and my family, last week I admitted to myself I'm a homosexual. 

Long story short I grew up in Mexico, super-Catholic, and I was always taught sex was dangerous and shameful. I always thought I was a good boy because I didn't do the sexual things like my classmates, and I thought I was waiting for the special girl. 

3 years ago I met my wife, fake name Jane. I didn't feel that super rush of love at first i always heard about, I just thought our relationship was good because we got along well. I didn't thnk she was perfect, and now I realised I had just convinced myself that I loved the first woman I got along really well with. 

I always felt weird about sex, like I could feel it inside me, like a pressure, but I never had sexy thoughts about the girls I knew. I always just thought I was a good Catholic, and I was beating my impure thoughts. The past few months ago my homosexual thoughts finally broke through the wall and I realised I had a small crush for Kevin Smith, the director. I listen to all his podcasts every day, and I felt such a strong connection with him. I was listening to his podcast with his wife, talking about sex, and I realised *I* wanted to have sex with him. I realised I felt feelings about him, and other chubby guys, like I never had for my wife. With her sex was a chore to do, but I actively wanted this homosexual sex like nothing else before.

I got really sad for a long time and I thought about killing myself because I was so disgusted with myself. I still don't know if being a homosexual is wrong, but thats between me and God. I feel like Im betraying my wife and God and I don't know what to do.

Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?
<bot>: I think I'm a homosexual, but I'm married. I feel like I'm betraying her and God, and I can't deal with it.