<human>: My bf and I have been together for over 2 years. We were in a really happy place up until a month ago. As the idiot that I am, I thought we were in a place comfortable enough to bring up the subject of our future. Knowing that a future together is almost impossible, I should have never brought up the subject. This led to a serious argument. Since, I still haven't quite recovered from some of the hurtful things that were said on both sides. My mood has changed, I haven't been feeling happy, nothing has been interesting me, and just feeling defeated altogether. I have been shamelessly taking it out on him. I've been throwing tantrums at him where he didn't deserve it. I've been difficult, picking fights and acting irrational.

Tonight, we went out to see an opera. A wonderful date that any girl would be lucky to go to. Yet I found another way to spoil it. I had previously suggested, to his reluctance, that we go for a drink after the show. He finally agreed, and when he asked me if we were still going out for a drink, I said no. Then I called him a liar for saying that I didn't want to go out for a drink. He said he'd had enough and dumped me.

I feel terrible for all the miseries I've been putting him through. I truly love him but realize that forgiveness is out of the question at this point. We've had a bumpy ride together, but over the months, I've seen him grow to be such a respectable and marvelous man with a softer heart than I've ever seen him with before. Meanwhile, I regressed. I became more selfish, began acting childish. It seems the roles are reversed almost, but I'm on the worse end. I just regret many of my actions and wonder if I am becoming crazy. I have no advice to ask, I simply needed a place, away from anybody who would recognize me, to let my thoughts out. I am ashamed, yes. I feel like I hit rock bottom.

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<bot>: I (f22) have been acting crazy with my boyfriend (m22) after being together for 2 years and regret everything.