<human>: We've been dating for a while and in the past years we've had lots of issues with each other and we've fought lots. It's gotten to the point where one of us will say something neutral and the other will interpret the words as being harsh or having some negative intension or as sounding upset. Frequently, neither of us are upset, but both of us expect the other to be saying something negative because of all the past times we've been upset with each other.

It's gotten to the point where we talk in a bad pattern. One will say something, the other gets defensive, the other responds negatively, then the other responds negatively, one or both of us feel upset and we eventually stop talking.

We both really really want to get out of this bad pattern of expecting negative behaviour from the other, but it is drilled deep into our interactions with each other. For years this has been happening and we've never been able to stop these negative expectations.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: We keep expecting the other's words to be negative (e.g. saying something harsh or to mean that they're upset). These negative expectations are drilled in deep for both of us, how can we stop having these negative expectations?