<human>: *Throwaway because both of us are active redditors and we each know the other individual's account name.*

My s/o and I were in a long-term relationship (3+, nearly 4 years). He recently ended our relationship, which had been suffering problems we were trying to work out for several months to a year. Mostly these were related to an on/off dead bedroom situation, but also somewhat in our communication. I would have preferred to continue to work on things because I felt we were finally making progress, but asked for a decision, and this was his. This happened just a few days ago.

He recently purchased a house that we moved in to together just a month or so ago (his name only for grant purposes), and we shared pets. Before that we had rented together for ~2 years, and for most of the time before that I stayed over very frequently. Our lives were (and still are) very much intertwined.

So anyway, with all this in mind, my question is about feelings post-breakup. I expected to be devastated in a way which manifested itself in sadness and many tears. Instead, while I'm obviously sad, hurt, and missing him - and while I have cried - what I'm feeling more than anything is anxiety. When I'm very busy or working, I'm mostly okay. When I have a moment to sit and think, my chest constricts and I feel nervous energy sometimes bordering on panic. When it gets to be overwhelming, that's when I cry. But more than often, it's a long-lasting undercurrent of anxiety/nervousness that just *is* at any time that I'm sitting and thinking. The only time I really cry without feeling nervous is when we've just spoken or messaged about something.

Basically, I just want to know if this is normal. This is my first relationship that reached this scope of shared space, shared pets, shared life, etc.; and I'm not experiencing the emotions I thought I would experience. If you've been in a similar breakup situation, can you fill me in on what I should expect to feel?

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Going through a very recent breakup of a 3+ (almost 4) year relationship. Expected to be extraordinarily *sad*, instead am feeling near-constant anxiety when at moments of pause/thought. Is this normal?