<human>: I was physically and mentally abused from age 1-19 by my mom.  Dads a deadbeat and split when I was 4, have come to terms.  My mom was beaten by her dad and mine so I understand that she has the same void in her life she's created in mine.  I do feel broken in the aspects of self esteem/respect but know there's resolution waiting so I'm optimistic.  

I have however jampacked a shit ton of emotions deep down for years and its culminating itself into anger, weed usage and incomplete relationships with almost everyone I meet.  I feel as if I have been very fortunate in terms of genetics(good looking, athletic etc) but if you met me my timidness and confidence is nowhere near what you'd expect.  

So when I was looking for support and love from my mom I got the opposite.  Its like a plant being clipped before it has a chance to grow.  Thats just a bit of backstory.  

Going forward I want the most out of therapy (had one session) but I seem to still be holding back at the surface.  Somethings preventing me from opening up the hellhole that is my psychi and letting my anger and feelings out.  I also realize that tapping it is the path to resolution.  I don't want to waste my moms money cuz it isn't cheap, and want to make progress.

Any info would be appreciated

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: abused by mom entire childhood, currently in therapy together willingly, need a pro tip on how to drop my wall and tap into the suppressed emotions that are creating my limitations