<human>: So I want to start this off by saying the college admission process sucks so much, having to write essays and then having people tell you they suck.  The worst part though is when you have to decide where you are going to apply to school though.  That is where my story starts.

I am smart, and I mean really smart (also a very good test taker which helps a huge amount in the college process) so I had the choice to apply to any school that I wanted (Again you are probably thinking "fuck that guy, what does he have to complain about!?!")  Well I went to visit the top engineering school in the country, and two Ivys (I really liked all of them).  I spoke to a bunch of people, deans and members of the board of trustees, at each college.  The people at the engineering school and one of the Ivys told me that I would probably (not 100% but close) get in if I applied early while the third school said that I was in barring some crazy mishap, but I had to apply ED.

In the end I decided that I would apply ED to the third school.  Fast forward to an hour ago and I get a call.  A dean at the engineering school called to say he was sorry that I hadn't applied and that if I wanted he would call up a friend at the school I did apply to (guaranteeing my admission).  I was supper happy, no longer was I going to freak out waiting for that December 15th deadline worrying about that tiny chance I didn't get in.

Then the dean said "well I know that you will like *school 3*, but I wanted to let you know that you would have been accepted here."  He said goodbye and hung up.  I was stunned, I mean why the fuck would he say that?  Basically he had called me to say "Oh hope you have a good life, by the way fuck you you would have gotten in here.  Sucks to suck."

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: Dean of a school I was thinking of applying to told me that I would have gotten in, but he thinks I will probably be able to succeed elsewhere.