<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

Hello Reddit. While my FU didn't happen today, I just found out about it today. 

For most of this week, my middle finger has felt *weird*. It doesn't hurt very much, it just feels stiff, as if you needed to crack your knuckle in that finger. On a related note, I actually can crack my knuckle in that finger a lot more often this week than usual, and there is some small lessening of pressure in the finger when I do. 

I've been really confused by this, having never really experienced this feeling before, but I am, quite possibly, the worst monitor of health in existence. When something seem off, I typically wait for it to just go away. Luckily for me, it always has in the past, but this finger thing has been going on for 6 days now. I work at a hospital, so I had one of the nurses look at it just now. As it turns out, I've jammed my finger. 

I never played many sports growing up, so I've avoided most instances of how you would jam your finger. At this point, I suppose we all know the direction that this story is going to take. 

The nurse asked if I had any aggressive contact to that finger lately to cause to jam, and I was completely clueless. I retraced all of my steps this week, trying to think of something that would've caused that finger to jam. 'Lo and behold, when I went all the way back to last Monday, I remembered that Sunday was mine and my wives' anniversary. We were very.... impassioned during our day together, and it seems like one of us, in particular, was over-zealous.
<bot>: In 'celebrating' mine and my wives' anniversary, I fingered her so hard, that I jammed my finger for the first time ever.