<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

She cheated on me with a guy and gave him head. Of course I am utterly devastated. However, she is extremely sorry, our relationship is strong (almost 4 years) and I know I will regret it forever if I don't make an attempt to fix things, as this girl is more than a partner she is my best friend. 

I am wondering what I should do now. I break down multiple times a day and can barely leave my bed from feeling sick to my stomach. But I need to try and forgive. Her plane home is not for another 3 weeks however.  She said that she will change her flight and  come home as soon as possible.  It makes me very happy to know this because it shows she realized how much she screwed up.

But the thing is I don't want to see her right now very much and want time alone to try and understand. But at the same time, while I know she wouldn't screw up again, I cannot bear the thought of her being near this guy anymore. I want to tell her to just come home, but if I don't actually want to see her I feel like that would be rude to do since it would cost a lot to change flights. Should I ask her to come home? I would like to see her a couple times but I want time mostly to myself to see if I can forgive her. 

What can I do to stop feeling like shit? I just keep thinking of her blowing him over and over and I want to ask her for the details but I don't know if that would just make me sadder. What can I do to get over the feeling that this is my fault? (I know it is not, but I still feel somewhat like of I had been better this wouldn't have happened).

What am I supposed to do if we have sex, I would not be able to stop thinking about the cheating. How can I try and move forward with the relationship without just making her feel like shit over and over for what she did? I don't want to fight with her but I just feel so destroyed inside. Thank you reddit.
<bot>: girlfriend cheat, I chose to try and forgive her. Should I ask her to come home? How do I forgive her?