<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

Hi. 19/F. ~195lbs. 5'2/5'3

I was always the sporty kid - I did ballet, tap, gymnastics, trampolining, everything... until I hit about 11/12 years old. 

At this age, I got involved fairly heavily with a paedophile, whom I experienced my first real kiss with, and other sexual experiences. From there, my weight started to pile on.

It stopped at around ~150 I think, until I hit 15 and got involved with a slightly older boy that was heavily abusive. Like, physically, mentally, emotionally abusive, which led to him taking my virginity in the form of a very aggressive, painful rape, which led to a pregnancy.

I lost the baby after more abusive physically from this boy (who never wanted this child, obviously, so decided to make me miscarry)

From this point, the weight piled on and on, and I hit about ~220 or so, with no help at home from a bipolar mother who couldn't care less.

So now I'm 19, I'm doing okay (or so I thought), in a HEALTHY relationship of two years, and finally ready to tackle the issue of my weight.... except I can't? 

I lose 10lbs max, and then I panic, everything comes back, and I begin comfort eating. I've been in this cycle for about 8 months now, and it's making me very depressed, and it's all tied into the weight.

Has anyone experienced anything remotely similar to this? Losing weight just seems to rake up the past, causing me to panic and comfort eat, removing any and all progress I have made, and then the cycle restarts... 

Help, please.
<bot>: very unhealthy relationships, a rape, and a miscarriage led me to put on weight. ready to lose it, but panic when i lose some and put it all back on bc comfort eating