<human>: For as long as I can remember, I've never had close friendships with anyone. I've never had that tight knit group or that one girl friend whom I went to the mall with or talked on the phone all day with. I had what I considered to be two semi-close friends during middle school/high school- but even those friendships were contained to school-only. I struggle with Social Anxiety and have since the beginning of middle school. If someone wanted me to hang out, I always gave an excuse not to. Partially because I didn't want to and mostly because I was too scared to leave the house if I didn't actually have to, i.e going to school.

I really want some friends. I'm envious of those close knit groups that skype or play games together. I would LOVE that. I tried joining an online penfriend site awhile back- you basically would email people back and forth. I enjoyed it for quite some time but after awhile I felt overwhelmed- and I don't really recall why and I ended up just stopping all contact. Afterwards, I felt instantly relieved. I still get that overwhelmed feeling when I think about having a friend which leads me to not actively seek anyone to talk to.

I got into a relationship about two years ago and we're engaged now. I feel close to my fiance(20M) but it leaves me wondering why am I able to hold down a romantic relationship but I just fail at normal friendships? I don't understand it at all.

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: I(20F) suck at friendships. Is there a reason for this? And how do I learn to keep and maintain future friends?