<human>: To be fair, we are all good friends. This isn't the typical "I fucking hate my roommates" cry for help. Although, laziness is definitely a factor. In the past, its taken over a week for one of them to take care of similar messes. I can deal with the living room and the kitchen cuz I'm barely ever here, but my bedroom and bathroom are not negotiable. I previously had a problem with the dogs in my room, but that ended when I threatened to piss on the corner of their bed if it happens to mine again. 

Mine is the hallway bathroom, so it gets used by everyone. This also means that the bathroom door gets left open. As I said before, we DO in fact all get along, so doing something like putting a lock on my bathroom door wouldn't do much except maybe make me piss my pants one day when I can't find the key. 

The female roommate says she will cut my dick off in my sleep if I take a shit in their shower, which in translation means it will probably spawn an argument or two. The male roommate (who's mom owns the house) could give a shit if it sat there as if it were just how the tile is supposed to look.

I'm lost Reddit.

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: How do I get my roommates to stop using my bathroom so their unruly dogs stop pissing all over my bathroom floor???