<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

In short, I'm a really awkward guy and a lot of the time I put up this wall around people, I think it's a defence mechanism so that people can't hurt me. I think that if I let them in and let them see me they'll hate it, which I think is quite true. But I also think I don't like a lot of people, which generally stems from them saying something 'cuntish' which lets face it is a lot of people. 

 My best friend always takes the piss and tells me that I'm really edgy, but he's hypercritical and nobody else has ever told me that before. I also think my voice puts people off because I think it sounds really squelchy and sort of slurrish and I've been trying to improve it but it's so hard. 

Basically I'm pretty sure that my life would be better if I put myself out there more in terms of going out, but I feel like people would judge me for it, especially if I was to attempt speaking to girls. When I go out (rarely) I never approach girls, which means it's only the really touchy ones that approach me and that kinda makes me feel ill, due to conflicting emotions going on inside, and it kinda makes me feel like I just shouldn't bother going out at all, because I'm too polite/not knowing what I want to be like "err, don't do that". Most recent example was when a girl came over to me when I was working (in a bar) and asked for a kiss and me being me had to excuse myself by saying "err I'm too shy" but really I'm not sure I would have wanted too even though she was pretty cute, just because I didn't know the person, that's normal right?
<bot>: Anyone else feel like the most awkward, emotionally/sexually stunted man-child and how/would you deal with it? I want to improve my interpersonal relationships of every kind.