<human>: Can you provide a brief overview of the text?

Obligatory "this didn't happen today" statement.

Awhile ago, I had gotten a job at a major hospital in the mid-atlantic region of the country doing drug research. I moved to the city June 1st in anticipation of starting that day, but unfortunately, my employment was delayed two weeks. I took this time to explore parts of the city that I hadn't explored before, as I had lived there prior to this. 

Admittedly, I have an interest and involvement with some of the writers in the city, so I was alone in the woods checking out some of their pieces on bridge supports next to a major highway. When I got there, I found that they had been covered entirely by overgrowth. Stupid me, I started tearing it all down, very liberally grabbing at all of the leaves and vines with not a care in the world.

After a bit, I went back home, showered and slept. I woke up in the middle of the night with some bumps on my body, which seemed odd, and thought they might have been bed bugs. The next morning, I woke up and my entire body was swollen and red. It just so happened that this was also my first day of work at the new job. I wasn't about to call in sick on my first day so I sucked it up and hoped that it didn't get any worse.

Of course, it got much much worse. My face had swollen to the point in which you couldn't really even tell it was swollen; I just looked like an elderly man, as a 23yr old, with crows feet and weirdly placed wrinkles. Eventually one of the doctors pulled me aside and asked me to take a prescription that she had written for me, go home early, stop at the pharmacy and just rest. As the title states, I had a systemic reaction, so even parts of my body that never touched the plant were swollen. My girlfriend came to visit that week and wound up just helping to take care of me. The major reaction lasted for about a week and the last of the swelling actually subsided on my arm about a full three weeks later. Naturally, I haven't learned my lesson and still explore through patches of poison ivy regularly.
<bot>: I went places that I shouldn't have the day before my first day of work and woke up the next day swollen over my entire body. Tried to go to work that way, and got sent home.