<human>: I never dated much until this guy and it is safe to say that I never loved before. With the guys before him, I thought I loved them but it was just peer pressure to date or a mere crush. I met this guy and fell very hard, fast and just thought he was the one I was going to marry. Things didn't work out, he is a douchebag. We no longer speak (for the better). I feel emotionally numb and am finding it very hard to be attracted to anyone. It has been over a year since him. 

Before him, I also got numb for a period of 3 yrs after another breakup but at that time, I didn't feel anything for that guy but I just got fed up of relationships. I wanted to focus on my school and career because they tend to suffer when I get involved with someone. 

But this time, it is different. I feel shattered, I miss how he made me feel. Everyone is telling me to date and when I go on dates, I just can't feel anything. I try so hard to get turned on but I can't. I have needs, I get horny but I don't feel attracted to anyone. I just masturbate to my ex and it leaves me feeling very frustrated. 

My ex and I never had sex. There is a lot of question marks on what could have been but we can't be together. He only wanted sex and was a horrible person. I know many good guys and I want to be happy. I long for a relationship because so many years, I avoided them but I am human and it is the right time to find someone.

I want to move on but I feel emotionally numb/dead. I am scared that this will not pass.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: Emotionally numb after falling deeply in love with a man who turned out to be horrible. Have given myself over a year and don't speak to him but finding it hard to date again.