<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

On the outside I'm the calm, relaxed, easy going guy who cracks a few jokes now and then. I make jokes out of everything (probably a coping mechanism) and never seem to take anything too seriously. I'm the last guy the people I know would expect to be on depression medication. I recently got on meds, and most notably my motivation has returned. That's a problem though, because now I'm motivated. I actually accomplish things. 

I've been wronged, kicked down, used, and abandoned by so many people in my life. Even after many years, I still hold this seething spite in the depths of myself. I'm secretly still loathe these people, most of whom are not even in my life anymore. It's been seeping into the forefront of my thoughts more often lately, probably because of my medication. 

I find myself playing out revenge fantasies in my head without realizing I'm doing it at first. I play through what I'd do or say, and it gives me this feeling I've never felt before, I don't know how to describe it. I have no intention of physically harming these people, not at all, but I find myself again and again imagining myself tearing them down with my words. How I really feel, how terrible of a person they are. I love it.

I'm scared this is not healthy (I'm sure it isn't) but it's becoming a bigger and bigger part of my conscience. I'm sort of scaring myself, I guess. I don't want to keep these people in my life, but a sick part of me hopes I run into them again so that I can live out these scenarios for real.
<bot>: I'm filled with spite towards certain people, and constantly find myself playing out revenge fantasies in my head. Scared that a part of me wants to live one out for real.