<human>: Hi r/relationship_advice. 

Trying to keep a long story short: When my girlfriend and I get in fights I sometimes will end up calling her a "bitch", an "asshole", or something worse. I hate that it happens, but during the fight she will usually become cruel (in my opinion), I ask her to stop, and it eventually snowballs to me name calling. I know nothing is justified by name calling, but in the heat of the moment I lose sight.

This is an ongoing event, we get into it and I'll say she's acting like.., or being like...a(n) *insert insult here*. She's tired of it, I'm tired of it, and I'm also ashamed of it. We have even been in therapy, but old habits die hard. I hate the fact that I read similar stories from women on here and the comments all say "leave him, he's a shit and abusive". It's true, and I am. 

Our relationship is pretty rocky as is; this behavior doesn't help. I'm looking for advice since it's ruining her self-esteem, her trust in the relationship, and my own view of myself. It undermines any good thing I do. I think of myself as a good guy and a good person, but this makes me cringe and loathe the person I am.

I'm looking for advice from people who have gone though this...on either end of the abuse. How can I fix it? How can I repair what I've done to her? I sometimes feel like I should break things off so she can be with someone who deserves her, it seems selfish to keep putting her though this. I'm lost with all of this. Thanks for reading, and for any advice.

Provide a brief overview of the text.
<bot>: I can't control my mouth during fights, and need advice on how to handle myself better, and how to handle the situation better.