<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

I'm a lifeguard at a beach and last week we had to make a rescue. It was gruesome and emotionally terrifying. 

After the paramedics took the victim I felt like I was slammed with a wave of fear and intense sadness. Despite executing a near-perfect rescue, I was on the verge of tears (I RARELY cry) instead of being proud of the job we did. 

I texted my friend to hangout and said things along the lines of (I really can't be home alone right now, I feel like shit, etc.). I explained the situation to her but she said she couldn't because she was going to eat with friends. She insisted that I tag along with her but I was in no position to be in a loud restaurant with complete strangers.

What's fucked up is that if anything were to happen to her and she needed someone, I'd be the first one there.

Not sure if I'm overreacting, but I just wanted some input from you guys. Keep in mind that we've always been pretty much best friends for a while, nothing more.
<bot>: Lifeguard rescue aftermath messed me up in the head, friend couldn't be there for me because was meeting up with friends to get food, not sure if I should keep someone like that in my life