<human>: Obligatory first post, post, cell phone formatting etcetera

This was last year, my bff was driving her and myself around and we stopped at a local drug / convenience store that we liked to frequent to get snacks and drinks. I got my favorite bottle of blueberry white tea, she got something.. less tasty. 

Anyway we paid, got in the car, for whatever reason the cup holders were inaccessible in this particular vehicle. Nevertheless there was a spot on my right side in between the door and my thigh where I could stick the bottle to keep it safe from rolling under the brake pedal and murdering everyone. 

So we arrive at the condo, and at this point my tea has slipped my mind, so ignoring my bottle I open my door..  cue my beverage falling out of the car into the parking lot and rolling many feet away in very few seconds! 

Quick side note I feel I should mention, my parking lot has carports in it and each carport has room for two cars to park under it.  some have to park in between one carport and the next. so I was parking in between two ports,  which means I had a pillar on either side of the car

Back to the FU. The bottle shoots out the door, and with unique reflexes I lunge forward, extending my arm and slamming my face into the control console for the locks and windows. 

Now I'm in pain, delirious AND thirsty! 

Holding my hand over my face I shoved the door open angrily, which brought my door mirror into contact with the carport pillar and the rest of the door into contact with the pristine 1966 Chevy Bel Air that was parked next to me.

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: I bought delicious tea so it could run away and I would be free to smash my face and trade paint with a classic.