<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

Colossal fuckup today. I am in charge of waste management in the supermarket I work at, so part of that job is emptying the bins. I threw a bag into the dumpster today and it got caught on the edge so it was half in and half out at the end of the bin.

Rather than taking the extra steps to climb down the dock ladder and push it in from the side, I stepped out onto the rim of the dumpster. As I reached for the bag, my foot slipped off the side of the bin and with a loud "FUCK" I went straight in. Luckily the only fresh waste in there was produce, and I landed standing up on a large patch of lettuce leaves.

I've got a lovely bruise and scrape on my thigh (about fist size around) but other than that I'm ok. I was going to just stay at work but by the time lunch rolled around I was feeling pretty shitty so I've come home and I'm about to take the longest shower ever. I'll go back tomorrow for some more laughter :/
<bot>: Took a 5 second shortcut, fell into a dumpster, went home with huge injury to pride and tiny injury to body.