<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

I need to sort out some of my own issues before I sabotage my relationship with my boyfriend of almost a year. I'm really messing up in so many different ways. I feel crazy because I am aware I'm out of control, but I get into this mood where I don't want to stop. It freaks me out a lot because I have anxiety issues that I've been working at for years now (meditation, therapy, etc), but I've never had any issues with outbursts and anger like I'm currently experiencing coupled with the anxiety.

I am currently leaving my job, which my boyfriend believes will ease my anxieties and anger. I can only hope he is right because I'm scaring myself. I literally have had multiple nights in this past week where I've yelled at him, texted and called him an embarrassing amount of times (10-20x), bring up how he should break up with me (even though that's the last thing I want, I love this guy) and just screamed my head off at nothing. 

He's told me I'm using him as a punching bag and he keeps forgiving me as I'm screaming at him, or afterwards, even when I've told him not to forgive me. I am being such a bad person. I quickly go from angry to guilty. I'll cry relentlessly to him about how sorry I am and how I am too unhealthy to be with. I think I bring up breaking up because I don't want him to have to deal with me in this weird state I seem to be in. I am truly scared that my outbursts of anger, then anxiety and guilt are going to drive him away. It's like I've never had issues with believing we could become a great team, but now my self-esteem from my outbursts is decreasing and I feel like he should run away from me. 

I've never dealt with anger issues before (always been anxious, never angry), so this feeling is really brand new to me. I don't know if anyone has been in any kind of remotely similar situation, but I'd love feedback regardless.
<bot>: I'm being incredibly out of control with my boyfriend. Treating him terribly and need to figure out ways to stop myself and make it better for him.