<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

I was pretty devastated when he broke up with me after being together for about 5 years. We'd been having a rough patch, but I've always been all for working through issues rather than giving up. He didn't agree, apparently, because he broke up with me without warning and without a final chance to work on things. I fought it at first, but I accepted a while ago that I couldn't change that- he didn't want to be with me, so that's how it had to be.

Since then, I've been ok. It was hard and terrifying at first, but I've been doing really well for the past month or so. I've focused on school, work, and friends. There hasn't been another guy in any capacity, as I know I'm not nearly ready for a relationship yet and don't really do casual sex (personal preference). I still love him, I still think about him daily, but I was doing ok. I've been able to see our issues and understand that he really wasn't the best boyfriend. He did a lot of things that hurt me, and honestly I don't think I could ever forgive him for breaking up with me so casually. I don't want to get back together.

However, recently we've been talking again. We have a lot of similar interests, and run into each other often. He's been talking about getting back together, saying he had to work through some issues and that he still loves me and has always loved me. While it's true that he was going through issues (a friends death, unemployment, etc) I don't see that as any reason for him treating me the way he did. I can't just forget it happened, and I don't want to. Yet I still love him SO MUCH. I still want to be with him.. I just don't want to want to be with him. It's really hard and feels so fucked up.

How can I work through this? I miss him desperately and it's nearly impossible to tell him that I don't want to try again and that I don't think our relationship if we did try again would be healthy. It's so so hard and I feel really lost about it all.
<bot>: Boyfriend broke up with me, I realized our relationship wasn't that treat to begin with even though I love him. He wants to get back together, I'm having trouble saying no and getting over it.