<human>: Alright reddit, I fucked up **REALLY** bad. So last night I was helping my friend fix his laptop over the internet, we reinstalled his OS. Helping someone who knows nothing at all about computers fix their computer is real tiring. So I decided to rest my eyes for a little. Back when I was younger I use to be a sleepwalker. Okay so I end up falling asleep on my desk. The next morning I wake up in my bed, I think to myself that I must've just got up in the middle of the night and went to bed. **NO**. That's not the case here. My dad walks in my room and shows me a picture. It's of me covered in my own sperm. ^^cue ^^nervous ^^laugh "hehe what the hell is that all over my hands, lotion?"
"No pixel, I was out with some friends and your mother sent me this picture so I can come home and clean you up." ^^isthatwhatithinkitis "You can't be doing that around the house man, you have to do those kinds of things in the shower." Then he asks me if I was drunk and what drugs I was taking. **NONE**. Then he tells me as he was cleaning me up I was slurring and wobbling all over the place. After that I passed out on my bed.

**I REMEMBER NOTHING**

I turn on my desktop moniter and the pr0n folder is open too. 

My mom thinks that I wasn't sleep walking and that I'm a dirty little devil.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Staying up at night too late leads to drunken horny sleep jerking and my parents find me rolling around in my own jizz and clean me up.