<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

So backstory: in my house, we always leave the bathroom doors open if they aren't occupied, so if a door is closed you would not even try to open it as someone is obviously inside.

Anyway, so about a month and a half ago I was taking a shite in my bathroom with the door closed (obviously), but neglected to lock said door. As I am almost done with my pre-shower dump, the door starts to open, to which I immediately shout a harsh "what the fuck?!" and slam the door before I see who has committed this horrendous act. I assume it is one of my family members being an idiot. 

And then this normal action becomes a fuck-up. I hear the voice of the exchange student who lived with my family last year and is now visiting for a few weeks saying "Sorry u/Am-I-Cool-Yet." I go away to college, so we never really lived together and I was warmly welcomed to stay with her family for the holidays last year while I was abroad in Europe, an offer which I accepted. 

Soooo with that in mind, I finish up on the shitter feeling awkward as hell and apologize to her after my shower. Lesson learned: always lock the goddamn door.
<bot>: forgot to lock the door, someone tried to open it; I slammed it with force, hope they didn't smell my shit!