<human>: I'm currently single, and lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about my dating history.  I have been in several serious relationships, and I have cared a lot about each person I've dated.  Things usually go great for the first few months, but after awhile I inevitably become hyper-aware of where I "rank" in the relationship.  That is, I make a decision on who is the "reacher" and who is the "settler" between the two of us, and I really think that this is the root of how all my relationships have ended.  I end up unhappy in either case, and I would love to just go through a relationship feeling that I am truly equal to the guy I'm dating.  In a lot of ways I think this makes me pretty shallow, but I really hate it about myself and want to change.

My question is, what can I do to change this about myself?  And at the very least, how can I make it stop affecting every one of my relationships so much?

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Every relationship I've been in has boiled down to one "reacher" and one "settler" in my mind, and I'd like advice on how to get a new perspective.