<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

This morning, I noticed that we were almost running out of TP and told my SO to remember that we need to buy some today. A little while ago, I realised I had to pee and was sure there was enough paper left for that. "I'll just go buy some after." 

I was right, and wrong. It would have been enough, if I just needed to pee. I didn't just have to pee. I sat down and pretty soon felt the familiar pushing of excrement in my colon. Okay, fine. No need to worry, I thought. There's probably enough paper, I won't use much. 

So I wipe once, and on the second grab, there are two squares left. Shit. This is not going to be enough. 

My SO is in the living room, by his computer. If I was even remotely lucky, he'd either check Skype or Facebook, or not have his headphones on. Yep, you guessed right! He's wearing headphones and playing civ, not getting any notifications. 

It's been half an hour now, and I'm fucking stuck until he decides to check on me. Then, I'll have to wait for him to go to the store. And I'm too stubborn to give up and improvise, I'd rather just wait.
<bot>: I didn't buy TP and ran out mid-wipe, can't get hold of SO to go buy some and refuse to improvise with hands and faucet.