<human>: This occurred last night.

Went to dinner with my girlfriends family last night to Turtle Jacks Muskoka Grill. Famous for their "big wing sandwich"- a steroid laced sized chicken breast deep fried, tossed with your choice of wing sauce, and served on a deliciously unhealthy bun. Sounded delightful.

Myself, her father, and sister all indulged in the big wing, in its greasy glory. Every one was satisfied, including myself. My stomach however, was not. 

I excused myself to the bathroom, only to find the bathrooms of turtle jacks muskoka grill were muskoka fucked. One toilet consisted of what seemed like a trees worth of toilet paper in the bowl, the other seemed like someone was interrupted in the middle of throwing up (perhaps after a big wing sandwich), and thought "nah, someone else's ass hair will sweep the rest of this". 

Fast forward to the drive home where I quietly utter to her father in the front "I need to hit a bathroom on the way home". He speeds up. 

"I may have to use someone's bathroom in their house". He starts to pass cars on single solid lines sub urban roads. 

We find a Tim Hortons and I run inside to start a fire fight with the porcelain inside. Dodging an employee exiting the female bathroom, I zip into a stall, get my pants down and let out a shit so loud it rivalled a truck motor turning over. The sigh of relief I let out would have put anyone's biggest post sex sigh to shame.

When I exited I realized that the employee who exited the female washroom was waiting to clean the male washroom, and as such heard the audio of the Chicago steamer I had just brought into port moments prior. 

Jumped back in the car, went home and watch a movie. Shit another 4 times before bed. Fuck you big wing sandwich. Not for messing up my stomach, but for being so delicious that 10/10 would eat and empty bowels again.

Provide a brief overview of the text.
<bot>: had chicken sandwich, couldn't use restaurant bathroom, shit inside a Tim Hortons so loud the employees  were visually aghast when I left the washroom