<human>: Since our kids have gotten "out from under foot" I've used that extra time and energy to improve my physical and mental health, pursue further education, and make positive moves in my career.

My wife on the other hand has become a couch potato. She is obese to the point that it affects her health, she doesn't work or volunteer outside the home, and she does the bare minimum of house work.

I know if I was to vanish and she was suddenly on her own, she would slim down, find employment, and pursue some positive activities in life. 

I am honestly losing my attraction and love for her and dont want to let it continue beyond the point of no return.

I have discussed all of this in the past with her in sugar-coated terms. I've done all the reasonable things a person should do to encourage healthy habits in their spouse. I've proven that I will support her 100% in any education, volunteer, or career effort she wants to pursue.  But she has shown no interest.

While I'm ok now, I honestly feel like I can't stay in the marriage and be happy *long term* but I feel like telling her in those terms will amount to am ultimatum which I don't view as healthy.

So how do I tell her that our lives are diverging with inevitable consequences without laying it out as an ultimatum and blowing up the marriage?

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: wife has become complacent while I have pursued goals and self-improvement. How can I talk about our diverging lives without sounding like an ultimatum?