<human>: About 2 years ago I realized I was way too fat and decided to do something about it. In 8 months I went from 315-260. Since thnlen though I've just been stagnating, and slowly putting the weight back on, I'm nearing 285 now. But my current weight is as high as i'll ever be again.

I wanna get back on track, but i've got a couple of questions before I do, to ensure the best results. I'll go by point form, because why the fuck not?

1) what exercises should I be doing to get in shape as quickly as possible? I get that cardio = lose fat, weights = build muscle, but i've also heard that lifting keeps burning calories for hours after. I know that this question must get asked a lot, but I looked through the top 50 posts on here and couldn't find an answer.

2) is kale really as rediculously good for you as people say it is? Or is it just the latest dieting trend?

3) I saw in a recent cracked article,  (obviously I'm paraphrasing here a little bit) that excessive weight gained in childhood is actually impossible to burn off. Leaving surgery as the only way to get rid of it. One of the biggest reasons I want to lose weight is that I'm a hefty D cup, and as a guy that's a bit off-putting. Is there any truth to this? If so, can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

*bonus! If you take the time to answer any or all of these questions, you might be racking your brain for more ways to help me, well you're in luck! I need some good running/workout jams. Please include any and all that are your personal favorites.

Thanks a lot to everyone willing to read this huge wall of text, you're the best!

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: it would seriously take you less than 5 minutes to read this, you don't have that kind of time? Really? Mister busy here doesn't have the time? Get reading.