<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

So I ate a Chicken Kiev the other day, and finally got round to washing the plate today (lazy, I know). Anyway, the garlic butter remnants on the plate had hardened into a diamond-like substance, and, as I was trying to scrub it off, a large shard of dried garlic butter was somehow sharp enough to slice through my skin and embed itself in the tip of my finger. I've just spent the last 15 minutes gouging this sizeable garlic butter shard out of my fingertip. There is blood on my keyboard as I type this.

So what are your stories of ridiculously improbable injuries? Ever been mugged by a marshmallow? Strangled by a butterfly? And if so, what story did you make up to explain said injury to inquisitive friends?
<bot>: I was viciously assaulted by some garlic butter, leaving me scarred both physically and mentally. What apparently innocent things have ended up causing you injury?