<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

We are both in our late 20's, this was the longest I had ever been in a relationship, and she had been in several others previous to me.  When it first happened I took it really, really, hard.  I was extremely depressed and started cutting myself.  I had to go to the hospital and was almost admitted, but I told them I would be OK to stay with my parents and they let me go.  I've been seeing a social worker to help get a grip and recently I've been feeling a lot more stable.

When she found out I was cutting she seemed pretty concerned about me and told me that if I ever felt like doing that again, then I could call her if it was an emergency. That was 3 weeks ago.

Last week, I found out that a close friend from college took his own life.  I got really depressed again, and was feeling out of control and started feeling like cutting again, so I tried to call her for help.  She didn't answer, and texted "I don't want to talk to you right now."  I lost it and hit myself a couple times, trashed my room, and went to bed. 

She called me back the following evening... I was still pretty out of control emotionally and lost it and complained about everything and how I was feeling - then she cussed me out, told me I was just using my friend's death to get her to feel sorry for me, basically described every negative character trait I have and totally dressed me down.

After that awful display I realize that I can't have any contact with her anymore and she needs to be out of my life.  The problem I'm having now is I keep getting these urges to hurt her (not physically, mentally) or punish her.  I'm trying to stay on the high road here and be the better person, but I am really pissed off and want vengeance.

What should I tell myself to stop thinking about doing something mean?  I'm a nice guy, I don't want to hurt her even though she really hurt me.
<bot>: My ex is being really hurtful and I don't want to stoop to her level, what do I do to resist those urges?