<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

Hey Reddit, so a little bit of backstory, lately me and the bf have been more active in the bedroom than before, but things haven't been feeling the same since there's been years of use. I thought that strengthening my nether regions could have a positive effect on the quality of sex so I went out to my local sex toy shop and got my self a set of brass Ben wah balls. Now keep in mind these things are solid, and have some weight behind them.

So I decide to take them on a test run last night, thinking I'll just use them for a half hour and that'll be that for now. Little did I think that I'd be falling asleep way faster than expected. 

Morning time comes, I do my usual running around and had the urge to pee about an hour after. So I go to sit down, thinking nothing of it, then suddenly CLUNK. It took a couple of seconds to realize what it was, then it dawned on me. Oh shit. I had just given birth to one of heavy, solid metal balls. These things are the size of a small marble, and would cause plumbing issues for years for sure. There was no way I could leave them there and not be paranoid everytime someone flushed. 

So I mustered up the courage, stripped down to nothing and stuck my arm down the toilet which I had just taken a piss in. As I feel around I start getting worried that I won't be able to find it, then my fingers graze something... Something metal.. but not the ball. It was a toonie (a two dollar Canadian coin) covered in some gunk that I'm 99.99% sure was years of shit. I said whatever, pulled it out, and kept searching. Then I found it, lodged right in the back. At this point I'm bicep level in piss, I pull out the small ball and curse at it for giving me a real shit start to the day.

I washed both the toonie and the ball, and then proceeded to have a shower I'm water so hot that it would scald your skin.

 There you have it, TIFU by trying to increase the fun in the bedroom.
<bot>: tried to make sex better, gave birth to balls, ended up arm deep in piss, got a free coffee out of it.