<human>: I have been in a relationship with my partner (34m) for almost four years. I love him dearly. We were planning to have and adopt children together. 

My partner drinks a lot, and binge drinks in order to relax after working himself to death in front of a computer. When he drinks, he becomes reckless and even mean. He has verbally abused me and publicly humiliated me. He expects me to be fine with it.

I fear for his life. He drinks too much, and seems depressed. Sometimes he is the best boyfriend ever, other times he is the destroyer of worlds and I don't love him. 

I have been going to therapy and hanging out with a very devoted and caring friend. He is currently avoiding me because I am in this relationship and its driving me nuts having to decide what to do. We have flirted in the past but now he just ignores me most of the time. On one hand I feel guilty for flirting with him- I feel bad for feeling attracted to him. 

I have told my partner that if he does anything stupid and/or verbally abuses me I won't hesitate to walk. He seems to have taken this to heart. 

Now I feel bad for crushing on my best friend. I think I've ruined two things and maybe I need help.

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Verbally abusive and alcoholic partner seems to want to change, but I may have already ruined our relationship by getting to close to and flirting with my best friend.