<human>: I need some perspective.
My last real relationship ended 9 years ago. I've dated a few guys since, but never anything serious. Two years ago, I started sleeping with a guy I had been friends with for years, and who had once been one of my very best friends. His name was Justin. We had casual sex for a few months, no big deal. But then my mother died, and I was suddenly really desperate for someone to love me and be there for me. This happened right around the time that Justin started dating another girl, and the combination was not a good one. I suddenly decided that I needed to confess my love for him, which of course resulted in my humiliating rejection. He kept dating the new girl, which turned out to be an on again off again thing, and for some reason, I was there waiting in the wings every time they were off again. It was awful for me, but finally at some point, I found some self respect and called it off. A year later (about 2 months ago,) I started dating again. I was getting to know a couple of guys, really nice guys that actually wanted to have a relationship with me. But all I could think about was Justin, and how he was the one person I love. I saw him a few weeks ago, and one thing led to another. I went home with him that night, and haven't spoken to him since, but he is all I can think about. I have been sabotaging potential relationships with guys who actually like me because of it. And the worst part is, I know that if things were ever to turn into something real with Justin, I wouldn't be happy, because he is mean and selfish. Yet he is all that I want. I feel like I only want what I can't have. How can I possibly be happy?

Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?
<bot>: Not interested in nice guys that like me, because I think I am in love with an asshole who doesn't want me. I only want what I can't have. Help?