<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

Been together 4 years. 

I recently learned about TTC (thought terminating cliches- using a common phrase to end a conversation that you have no thoughtful answer to, such as 'because I said so' or 'that's just racist/sexist/etc') and I've realized that my husband does this to me.... A lot. 

And sure, we all do it to a degree, but I've noticed that whenever I try to have an adult conversation about anything we disagree on, he resorts to the same responses:

* You're just trying to start a fight.

* Everything I do is wrong. 

* sarcastic "You're right" so the conversation comes to a halt. 

* or he will blow up and throw some scenario in my face (something I did 6 months ago that bothered him, yet didn't bring it up in the moment)

He firmly believes that if you have an issue in a relationship, you keep your mouth shut and deal with it if you truly love the other person. I of course believe the opposite. I think you should be able to go to your SO and have a grown up, *polite* conversation about most issues. This is what I try to do, and it blows up in my face every time. 

I understand it's a defense mechanism, but how can I get him to talk to me? It blows my mind how unimportant communication is to him. It worries me for our future.
<bot>: husband believes that if you love someone, you don't talk about anything you don't agree on. I believe this is a recipe for disaster down the road. What can I do?