<human>: Hello, as the title says, I'm 16 and I am very confused as to how marriage proposals work. I've never been in a relationship, and don't know anybody in such a serious relationship, so I figured, "why not ask reddit?" Okay, so the general trend seems to be that proposals are spontaneous little romantic surprise things. But I feel like there's so much to discuss BEFORE the marriage. Does that all happen during the relationship? I feel like I'm asking an incredibly naive question here. 

For example, let's start with a major one: children. Do you and your partner talk about how many children you want while you're dating? How does one even broach this topic without seeming OAG? I guess if you've been dating someone for a long time, marriage seems like the obvious next step, but what if they don't want to get married at all?
 
And what about living conditions? Who moves in where? 

What about jobs and work and studies? What about personal space and lives? 

Parents - is your expectation to put them in a home or take them in? Remittance, visitation, and generally how the in-law relations will work are also huge topics. 

Is all of this discussed during the relationship? Do all relationships fall apart if the other person says no? 

My main reason for asking this is because I am a person who likes things to be planned and thought out meticulously beforehand. I could never ever imagine someone surprising me with a marriage proposal (well, and it ending happily) I would probably have a panic attack. I'm feeling anxious just thinking about it. I feel like I'll be able to know how to handle these things once I'm actually in a serious relationship, but like I said, I'm sort of weird about being prepared for everything.

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: How do people just get married surprisingly? Is it really the spontaneous romantic shock as it's portrayed in the books and movies? How do you broach these major decisions and start these sort of discussions?