<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

I'm going to have to explain myself a bit. I'm not being abused, I feel as if I abused him. Over the last several years I have been a terrible wife and he has endured every shitty thing I've done.

 I'll be honest I've been down right awful. I've stolen medication from his parents, been manipulating and abusive, lied, cheated. He even went to jail once because the neighbors reported us for domestic violence, when I was in the wrong.  Now that I've gotten clean from prescription drugs I can barely stand to look at him, not because he's done anything wrong, but because I don't deserve him.

About 6 months ago I had our first child and spiraled further into my illness and drug addiction. He helped my get into treatment and I've been clean for almost 2 months.

I want to make things right, I don't want have these feelings of guilt every time we lock eyes. He loves me and I love him, but sometimes I get these feelings that I should just leave and let him be free of my insanity and abuse. 

I go to narcotics anonymous, I'm making it to all my mental health and counseling appointments. But I need to find some way to make amends, we both need to close this dark chapter of life.  

Please don't be unnecessarily rude, I know I'm not a good person. I'm only trying to do what's right.
<bot>: I'm a drug addict and a terrible spouse. I need to make things right but I don't know if I can.