<human>: So, something I need to say for starters is I have terrible knees, for a 17 year old and for probably any fucking age. Sometimes when I set on my bedside and grab something under my bed, I bend my knees or twist them and the left one is locked. Fucking. Locked. Dislocated, call it how you want it idk, but it needs a painful, ugly push to pop back in.

So one day as I'm wandering about, sitting on the bedside listening to a new CD I just bought I reach for the remote that fell under my bed. The fuck up is that I manage to forget this happens to me EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.ALWAYS!

When I reached for it, I grabbed it, got back up and had a quick rush of ''Oh shit.'' Which is literally what happened a while afterwards. I sat there for the longest possible time, which resulted in shitting my pants because I was so afraid of the pain this 'popping' delivers that I denied just doing it and getting it over with. I shit myself and sat in it for so long the mattress is still stained with a print of my ass cheeks (note, wearing pants sitting on a blanket so this shit really went through a lot of shit to reach that point)

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: Knee cap got dislocated, too afraid to pop it back in so I cried for 3 hours while simultaneously shitting myself