<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

This literally happened less than 5 minutes ago so excuse my errors or grammar as I am a little freaked out. So a little back story my mom has been in a marriage for the past 10 years that was very "Dry" in the physical department of love, and recently ended it with that person (I hated the guy so I was rather happy about this). It's been about a month since then and she has been expressing that she really wanted to get back into the "Dating scene". So Valentines day rolls around and one of her long time friends comes over who I have known for about half my life (I'm 18) so I thought nothing of it, just two friends hanging out having a good dinner with me and my sister. 

So after dinner I decided to return to my bat cave where I spend most of my time and play some Mass Effect 3 because I wanted to play through the campaign on my 218th play threw and got a little thirsty and was going to go fill up my water bottle at the fridge ( This is where it happends ) as I'm sitting there getting ready to leave my room I think of the idea maby something is happening out there and I don't wanna be put in that situation. So I wait about 15 minutes and say screw it I'm thirsty and leave my room to go fill up my water bottle while I'm half way to the fridge I see them doin' the nasty on the couch and just NOPE out as fast and silently as I could back to my room where I am now typing this still thirsty and little scar'd.
<bot>: I wanted to fill up my water bottle and saw my mommy and her friend doin' the nasty on the couch