<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

I know it's "only highschool" and I'm young, and I should take things easy and have fun but everything is feeling a bit overwhelming right now. I have developed feelings for a guy over the course of the past few months and part of me would really like to pursue a relationship with him, but there is a nagging voice in the back of my head preventing me from doing so. Basically I have to go to college in around a year and a half or so, and that is a very short amount time (to me) and there is really no point in continuing a relationship once I leave as it is very impractical, so what's the point in falling in love with someone now when I already know it's doomed to fail and I'm just going to end up hurt.

These feelings may partially stem from the last relationship (& only relationship) I had being a complete and utter fiasco. (My ex was controlling, I was unstable & overly emotional) Somehow it lasted for two years until he broke up with me and went completely no contact. To say I didn't handle it well would be an understatement. I ended up going kind of crazy when he left and it took me about a year to really get a hold of myself and snap back into reality. 

Obviously I'm ok now. I've changed a lot since then, but I am honestly terrified of starting a relationship with this guy, just because I know it's temporary. I am in control of myself now, but I don't feel that way when I'm in love and I'm scared I'll go off the deep end again when it's over. I don't like needing someone else in my life. However, I don't want to be alone and being in a relationship is one of the best most comforting feelings there is (to me at least) and this guy I know is absolutely amazing and he is ALMOST worth risking it all for. 

What am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to do? Is this even normal? I'm a dumb teenager, help me.
<bot>: I'm scared to date in HS, don't want to develop feelings to just get hurt and set back when it inevitably ends.