<human>: UPDATE! He accepted my friend request, but didn't return my message. However for him that means we're cool. So many times during all the shit he wouldn't be friends with me on his main account in case someone saw, told my boyfriend and he decided to let his fists tell me how he felt about that. But anyway, I may have my best friend back :)

Nearly three years ago I was in a modern warfare 2 clan with a bunch of guys. Some from my old home in Wellington, some from my then current home in Nelson (New Zealand). I lived with my then boyfriend, he was co-clan leader with my best friend. My bestie was jealous of my relationship with boyfriend and boyfriend was jealous of my relationship with best friend. Plus the other guys would treat me different online and take me out to the bars offline. Eventually the two relationships tore the clan apart, and the relationships themselves. Best friend has a terminal illness, I was never allowed to ask what it was. Whenever he was in severe pain I wanted to fly back to Wellington and be there for him. He wouldn't let me because he wanted me to stay but couldn't do that to boyfriend. Eventually I lost them both. I thought best friend dead since I haven't heard from him since early 2011 and he was only given until half way through 2011. I just found his new gamertag on Xbox live. I don't know if I should have, but I sent him a short voice message asking to catch up. He was online seven hours ago. It was a massive shock to my system. I feel dizzy and nauseus. I don't know how I should feel, how I should react. He cut all ties to protect everyone, but I've thought he was dead and grieved over him. I never fully had closure.

Reddit, how would you deal with this?

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: I'm a legit gamer girl, boobs, gamerscore and all. My tits tore a clan apart and I lost my dying best friend. I just found him alive and now I don't know what the fuck. Help.