<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

This FU happened yesterday and I'm still feeling it today. After work, I decided I'd go for a long bike ride. I'm trying to lose my beer belly and get into better shape. As I was leaving the apartment, my girlfriend says to me, "take your phone so you can call if you need me to come get you". Clearly a jab at how out of shape I am. Little did I know, that her barb held a modicum of prophecy.

I was no more than 3 minutes into my ride and I decided to fire up the rider tracker app on my phone so I could track my progress. Innocent enough, although I thought it a good idea to do this while riding. Face --->Palm.

Coordination has never been my strong suit. As I was tapping the app, entering information etc, my brain decided to tell my left hand to squeeze the front break. I began to swerve (I was on a bike path, thank god) and rather than put the phone down and steady myself, I continued to put info into the app and my left hand continued to squeeze the front break erratically. Soon, the swerve turned into a full on display of Darwinism in action. Next thing I know, I'm ass over tea kettle. I flipped over the handlebars, the bike came tumbling down on top of me, the chain came off, the sprocket left a pretty cool pattern on my calf, my phone went flying down the path, the palms of my hands have road rash as does my right elbow. Worst part is, this all happened during rush hour, so the entire world saw this happen to me. I laid on the ground for a minute or so with the bike on top of me, recalled what my girlfriend said to me as I was leaving the apartment and uttered to myself "that bitch". Not to be discouraged, I finished the ride.
<bot>: Tried to ride my bicycle and enter info into a phone app at the same time. Crashed in spectacular fashion on the bike path during rush hour. Girlfriend prophesied it.