<human>: My thoughts like to torment me in the middle of the night. Oftentimes they're painful, but they are necessary.

This thing called life we all find ourselves navigating through astounds me. How one person, their own center of their little universe, can persist through all the trials and tribulations of existence and still make it to the end in one piece without destroying themselves. Most of us do anyway. 

Tonight I am awoken to the mistakes I've made in the recent past, and mistakes I could have made but thankfully didn't.  How easy it is for me to lose myself scares me. The more I think I know about life, and choices, and truth the swifter the fall down to reality is. And I feel like a fool. I've become someone I don't even recognize, all in the yearning to fill a void within myself with things that will never truly satisfy. Those things that I think will fill that void are just that : things. Feelings of pleasure that don't last, materials items with little value, encounters that masks themselves as true connection. Once these fade I'm left with, what I realize is, simply a poorly developed human being. One that focuses on the external and neglects the nurturing of a rich and virtuous internal life. 

Am I not as good a person as I thought I was? Do I not treat others with the respect they deserve? Am I not thoughtful? Am I not kind? Or am I all those things, but for the wrong reasons? There is no finite sense of self for me to cling to, although I certainly keep trying. And in that trying I've pulled all the energy away from developing the tools I need to be...just a good person. 

How does one maintain sanity?

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: I've gone off the deep end. Recent choices I've made have led to the realization that I really need to grow up.