<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

Judge away, hell knows I deserve it. Me and my SO got together exactly 13 months ago, aand we've been almost inseperable ever since - we've spent an inordinate amount of time together, we've supported each other through the very worst shit (including her being kicked out of her house) and we're 100% ciommited to a future together

Except, one month into the relationship, when I was still an idiot manchild, I wound up flirting with other girls online. My SO found the sites that I'd been on, flagged it up as a major concern, and I swore (to myself) that I'd never do something so idiotic again in my life. I think, more than anything, it was a confidence booster that I was still dependant on, but I'm no phsycoanalysist, maybe I'm just a massive fucking fuckup.

I never really confessed, I said that I was chatting about relationship issues and that was it.

She'll never find out, but I'm becoming increasingly consumed by guilt and self-hate. i feel like i'm living a lie because I did this, and then lied about it. i feel like I don't deserve my SO. I feel like my worlds falling apart.

Do I deserve this? Absolutly. But I don't know what to do. I found out (later) that she'd been cheated on by her last boyriend, I don't want to have concealed this from her. I don't even want it to have happened, ut I know I'll loose her trust forever if I tell her, and this beautiful, incredible relationship will come crashing down around me. 

Maybe that's what should happen. Maybe that's what I deserve. I don't know. I can't think straight and I really, really need help going forward. 

This is literally the most important part of my life. Of both of our lives. We depend on each other in a 100,000 different ways. I am a monster.
<bot>: fucked up, can't see a way out. Don't know what to do. posting here as a last ditch attempt at reasoning my way through this without resorting to something drastic.