<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

My boyfriend (call him J) and I are seniors in high school and have been together since freshman year. We have always been very serious about each other, discussing our future goals and how we could accomplish them together. However, I always assumed we would break up, or take a break, when we went to college, and reconnect for good after graduation.

There are a few reasons for this assumption, the biggest being that I wanted the schools we chose to be perfect for each of us, not a compromise in order to be together. The other big reason was that (considering I'd had a boyfriend my entire teenage life) I wanted the freedom and independence of being single during those first few "crazy college years." I prided myself on using my head, not my heart, when it came to choosing a school.

HOWEVER... October of this year I broke up with J. After the initial novelty of it wore off I realized how shallow the whole "party" scene is and how unhappy partying with casual acquaintances made me. At the end of the night it was always J who I would be thinking about or texting.

We are back together now (although I'm not sure we were ever fully broken up) and the May 1st deadline to decide on a college is approaching. Since the break up I feel like I would find much more fulfillment spending my college years with someone I love and trust more than anyone than with lots of random drunk people who don't have your best interests at heart. He has always been all for the idea of college together, so it has to be me who decides if I want that.

Extra details: There's only one school we could both go to. If we go to school together it will be much more of a compromise for him than me, as his other school options are EXTREMELY different. There are no schools near each other we can go to- it's either same school or different states. I can absolutely envision marrying him (we have very similar goals and values) but there are some big differences between us, so there is always the concern that we would compromise for each other only for it to result in a break up.
<bot>: Need to decide in the next month if going to college with boyfriend of 4 years is worth the compromise. Thinking I might rather make a wrong decision about school than a wrong decision about him.