<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

This fuck up happened last friday and it still hurts. So me and my 2 buddies lets call them John and Vladimir decided to go out after work and have some fun. So we're sitting in a bar and John decided to go to his girlfriend, ok accepted. Vladimir and I stay. So we pregrame (or how you guys call drinking before going to a club). Vladimir, who is a 6'2 / 200lb guy (I'm just telling you this, because I needed him later) sees a old friend and decided to go home with her. ok, accepted. So it's only me. I have another beer and start opening some sets, just having a fun time by myself. This one girl at the bar is eyeing me the entire night, but she looked like trouble. Still hot tho. 

No problem getting inside. Good music, lots of people. After an hour of dancing the girl from the bar approaches me while I'm ordering another beer, we start to flirt and we get along really good. What I didn't know was that her boyfriend was also there, more on that later. We went outside for a smoke, another one and another one. At this point it's on, we start making out and right before we wanted to go inside... This is where the fun part starts.. two guys storm out of the club and one of them, her boyfriend, comes up to my face and grabs my throat. I try to stay calm, but it's hard not to laugh because I'm an egocentric asshole with a backpack filled with entitlement that can't take other people serious (my ex's words btw) So this one guy behind me kinda knocks me out for half a second with a sucker punch from the side, and voila I'm in a fight. SHIT WHERE'S VLADIMIR. So I end up knocking her boyfriend out while getting my ass kicked by his friend from the side till the bouncer steps in. They get thrown out of the club, I can still get inside since the bouncer's a good friend of mine. So it's monday, I'm writing this during a database backup and my shoulder and hip still hurt like hell... thinking about texting her just to seal the deal. At least Vladimir got laid.
<bot>: going out alone, making out with a girl that has a boyfriend, getting into a fight with her boyfriend and his friend, knocking out her boyfriend and getting my ass kicked by his 5'7 friend as a 6'4 guy.