<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

I have been dating my boyfriend for a few years now. When we first started dating, I was around 120 pounds at 5'3. Before I started dating him, I struggled with my weight and body image stuff. I don't believe I had or have an eating disorder, but I used to purge, fast, and restrict my calories a lot. I started having some health issues do to it, such as passing out, chest pain, etc. I tried to stop doing these things on my own, especially purging. And I did for awhile, but then I gained weight and am now struggling with engaging in restricting and sometimes purging. I feel disgusting at 140-ish now. Nobody in my life, including my bf, know about any of this. 

My bf recently has brought up the fact I gained weight and how I should exercise more. He says I'm still attractive, but would look good more toned and that I would become healthier. This has upset me a lot, but I agree with him. I feel disgusting at this weight and would like to lose some, but his comments just make me want to purge and not eat. I don't know how to lose weight healthily and exercise. I feel like he's lying about still finding me attractive, he clearly thinks I'm fat. I feel so much worse. How do I deal with this? I don't want to tell him about the purging/restriction because I don't think it's that bad. But his comments are really hurtful to me, I already thought this about myself but I don't know how to lose weight healthily. Do I tell him this? Or do I just get over it, try to lose weight?
<bot>: used to purge/restrict a lot, still do to an extent but have gained weight. Boyfriend doesn't know, made comment about weight gain. I feel hurt. I don't know how to respond.