<human>: We met in a church youth group and after some back and forth, we finally decided to date. I was 18, she was 16 at the time. We were together for roughly a year and a half, though the relationship was arguably over by 13 months. During this time, we had heavily and seriously discussed getting married, having kids, and I was working on enlisting in the Army in order to realize a goal, and start a solid foundation for us, (there's a LOT of pressure to get married early in the evangelical christian community). We were each other's first love, we lost our virginities together, she was my first actual girlfriend, I was her first actual boyfriend.

She broke up with me 10 days after I signed my papers.

I took it really hard. I started smoking, an addiction which I still carry. I spent the next four months waiting for my ship date, and trying desperately to move on to no avail.

I was discharged from basic training after having a mental breakdown; the breakup was far from the only reason, but it certainly contributed.

I've only been with one girl since, and that was a one-night-stand, (that wasn't supposed to be a one-night-stand), back in April of this year. I've met a few girls since then, but nothing progressed farther than the 1st date. 

We also haven't spoken much since the breakup; I tried to keep our contact levels to a minimum because it just hurt too much to keep up.

For what it's worth, I don't think I'd actually want to date her again; my situation in life is pretty crappy, and I don't want to put myself out there to get burned again... tbqh, I just want to get laid.

My rationale is that we're totally different people now: we both have some actual life experience and maturity under our belts.

Am I about to do something incredibly stupid?

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: Realized I still miss my ex 3 years down the road; thought I was over it. Considering getting back in touch and testing the waters for FWB purposes. this going to blow up in my face isn't it?