<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

Whenever I meet someone who has served in our military (I'm American btw), I always feel very awkward when talking to them, and conversation doesn't really progress to anything more than "thanks for your service, hurr durr..." 

I know that I cannot possibly relate to what they have been through, but I'm also really interested in the perspective they may have gained from being over there - I just don't know what the acceptable terms of conversation are, and I don't want to come across as some civilian asshat who knows nothing. (Which I suppose I don't, but that's why I'm asking here!)

I know that servicemen are just people like me, but after such a harrowing experience as war, what the hell is there to talk about? Anything but the war? Is it acceptable to ask about it? I just have no idea how to relate. It seems that anything I might bring up would be stupid and trivial compared to what they went through, and I'm scared of asking an inappropriate question or making an ignorant remark without knowing it.

 I can imagine it is very hard to come back into American society after being in that world, and I want to show my appreciation and admiration for their service while still finding cool things to talk about, hopefully making some new friends out of it. I don't personally know anyone that has come back from Iraq or Afghanistan, so I really have no idea how to frame a conversation like this, and it has troubled me for a while.

I'm really hoping to get some advice/opinions from current or ex-military redditors, or from those of you who have close ties with those who have served. I'm tired of having stagnant conversation that goes nowhere due to my own insecurities about the issue, and I really want to get to know these people, but just don't know how to approach conversation with them. Are there rules to this kind of thing? (and I at least know not to ask if they killed anyone, fwiw. I do have some tact, this kind of thing is just foreign to me.) 

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<bot>: Don't know how to talk to military people that were in the war - feel awkward; don't know what to talk about with them. Advice?