<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

Growing up, my mother would lecture me for hours (seriously), to the point where I learned if I stayed silent long enough, she would leave me alone. This poor communication style has been my go to through all of my romantic relationships, and it's time to stop. 

When in an argument, I will become defensive and then silent. I will completely tune out or end the conversation with "I need to think," but I never return to the original conversation. I am sabotaging myself of opportunities to grow and be part of a healthy relationship. 

Can anyone give advice or some references because I am listening, but it feels like I lack the part where I can assimilate what they are saying into a productive response.
<bot>: Looking for advice, articles, books, anecdotes etc about how to learn to stop shutting down and learn to be a productive contributor when communicating in romantic relationships.