<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

Ive been with this dude for over 2 years, a little on and off, due to a time where I caught him cheating, and due to other times Ive caught him "hanging" out with other girls but didn't have enough evidence to catch him cheating so I believed whatever excuse he gave me. 

I can't for the life of me get past the idea that he might cheat again or that his wandering eye will make him do anything disloyal in the future, but I've forgiven him for anything he's done in the past and we are still together.

but I can't sleep at night without checking the social media of the girl he cheated on me with (over a year and a half ago) and another girl he was "friends" with. And whenever I bring up any of the past, he gets angry. and I understand that I shouldn't keep bringing up things I've supposedly forgiven him for, but it kills me, especially because I've been a great girlfriend to him and these girls im worried about are honestly ho*s (not even saying this to make myself feel better).

but I'm afraid to leave him because every time we've been temporarily broken up I feel lonely and it doesn't get better. our longest break up was 3 months and I was crying everyday. I know I should find someone else but I have a strong feeling im never going to feel this way about someone else again. Should I try to regain trust or just end it?
<bot>: boyfriend has cheated in the past, I forgave him but it makes me completely paranoid and unhappy, but I'm afraid to leave. what to do?