<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

So I am notoriously pushing my curfew envelope, I am 17 and that's what teenagers do. so typically my curfew is 1:30 but nothing was happening and my girlfriend fell asleep at her house so I just headed home and arrived around 11:30. Now let it be known that my house is almost never empty, I have 3 other siblings. It just so happened that this fine September eve my parents found the house entirely to themselves...

I opened the front door quietly because it seemed that everybody was asleep. and I am greeted with the wonderful sound of my two very out of shape, very old, **AND APPARENTLY VERY LOUD** parents belly slapping. In a moment of panic and as to not interrupt I quietly closed the door and flew upstairs to my room and promptly closed the door.

Many wouldn't see this as an uncommon occurrence but there now is a problem. I didn't grab any food before I ran upstairs and I ain't about to roll the dice by getting in earshot of there...
<bot>: Old folks, my old folks, participating in gland-to-gland combat at unnecessarily loud volumes. Now trapped in room