<human>: Can you provide a brief overview of the text?

I'm 24 this year and am fed up of feeling worried, yet again, about finding friends to spend my birthday with. I've been feeling sad about my life because I realised I have so few meaningful relationships, and the goals I achieved instead over the past 5 years were hollow and selfish. I got the only job I've wanted since high school but I let it inflate my ego... I've slowly lost all but one of my friends and failed to turn any acquaintances of these past 5 years into new ones. I was never great at making friends in the first place, but having these failed, dead-end acquaintances (who actually have similar interests?!) is really getting me down. It's like I've passed the point where I can really show who I am, they've already judged me and don't want to cross the distance. 

I keep blaming my uni days - I was so caught up with my boyfriend that I failed to grow as a person whilst everyone else was becoming well-rounded, unique people... It was a nasty shock that I couldn't keep defining myself by my career instead (it's rubbish anyway). When I'm talking to someone I'm friendly but keep my distance, because I have to keep up this lie of being clever (I'm average) to get respect. It's easier than having a normal conversation where you end up showing some vulnerability. 

Above all I'm frustrated... I'm actually very silly at heart. Fancy dress parties are the highlight of my year. I just get so shy in other social settings when you don't have an 'excuse'... got enough cringe moments, I don't want any more. And I've tried alcohol - the uh, asian flush hinders things a bit...

Anyway, enough about me... I would love to hear if you've ever been like this and gotten over it. Although I don't want to be who I am anymore, I don't really believe people can change their personalities. I need proof to the contrary, that I'm not stuck like this forever.
<bot>: I'm a shy, cold person who has never been good at having meaningful relationships, but I want to try fully now and take the bad with the good. Would love to hear from anyone who's successfully changed themselves in this way.