<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

Rant.
A couple years ago my ex broke off our 3 year relationship 3 weeks after my father died. Shitty timing but whatever. 3 weeks later she tells me she's seeing a girl. 

This hurt. I hated her with a fiery passion and still do. It caused me to hate and distrust women for a long time. I experimented with men but they were mean too.

Months later my best friend od'd and died and that was it.

I decided all people do is use me, ignore me, hurt me or leave/die. 

I stopped even wanting sex and even now I find it gross. Sex is just another way for people to use me. Right afterwards I feel used and ugly and gross even if it is a totally mutual thing with someone I like. I curl up in a ball and don't let them look at me 

Everyone just seems so cruel and I hate it. 

I hate myself and I've lead a life that a lot of people don't understand so I feel like I have to compartmentalize my life to the point I don't even know who I am anymore. 

I want a nice, kind woman that I can  slowly open up to but I don't know anymore.

I've been completely alone for years and it's starting to really mess with my life. 

I just needed to get that off my chest.
<bot>: ex girlfriend broke my heart. I've got ptsd and intimacy issues. Everyone just seems to use me. Sex seems weird and gross. I'm lonely.