<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

My wife and I came from two very different backgrounds. My childhood was very much the traditional nuclear family. Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc was always spent together with family. Very loving mother and father. Her childhood was a lot more difficult. Father left at a young age. Never really knew him. Mother was what I would call "fly by night". Some days were better than others. So my wife has built up a defense to empathy and emotions. She refuses to talk to a therapist because" I know my issues, and you knew them when you married me". When we went to a marriage counselor (forced appointment by me basically), we left and she said it felt pointless and didn't want to go back.  Anytime I try and express how I feel to her, she asserts I am being dramatic. Then we just end up bickering and pointing out flaws in each other repeatedly for the next few hours or sometimes days. We don't argue often. Maybe once a month or two. I try and be cognizant of my issues and fix myself for her. I'm just not sure I'll ever be good enough. The only time I see her truly emotional is around our children (4yo girl, 6yo boy). I find myself almost jealous of the affection she gives them. I've always had a problem with anxiety and depression. So I'm not perfect. Sometimes I blame myself for a lot of our issues. But I keep the thoughts of that to myself. It's just easier that way.  I know my wife is this way and accept and love her for who she is. I know a lot of her feelings aren't my fault nor are they hers. But it makes dealing with conflict hard on both sides. Since she has a hard time adapting her style of conflict resolution, what can I do from my end to make things easier?
<bot>: Wife is unemotional, says I'm dramatic,come from two different backgrounds, refuses therapy, having a hard time dealing with disagreements.