<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

My sister-in-law (let's call her Lily) can be really rude and snappy when she feels stressed. I'm sympathetic to this--I know we all get a little overwhelmed at times and aren't our best versions of ourselves! The problem is that Lily gets stressed really easily and gets mad if folks can't accommodate her on short notice. For example, over the Thanksgiving break, she freaked out when we couldn't watch her dog while she went on a last minute trip with her friends (my husband and I were both working 8 hour days on Friday and then driving to visit family on my side). This is a pretty benign example, but it just ruined the whole rest of the Thanksgiving Day. She sulked in the corner and kept shooting down anything I suggested we do without offering up any alternatives. 

This is one example that's part of a broader pattern. She's generally meanest to her mother, then me, then her brothers and dad in that order, which to me suggests this is a behavior she does have some control over. I assume if it was just stress alone, she'd lash out at everyone equally. This behavior hurts my feelings and I generally try to avoid her as much as possible. I also find it really embarrassing when she snaps at me in front of folks outside her immediate family. My husband and my in-laws just laugh it off as Lily being Lily. 

I'm wondering if anyone else has experience with this kind of behavior with their siblings-in-law? Do you think it would be productive to have a candid conversation about our relationship and what I'm doing to upset her specifically? Or is it best to just duck my head and stay away? I get along well with all my other in-laws and am particularly close with my two sisters-in-law and I wish I could have that kind of relationship with Lily.
<bot>: Should I be candid with my SIL about how much her snapping at me bothers me, or is it better to just avoid her even if it means not having much of a relationship?