<human>: So I dated this girl for only about a year and we both mutually cut it off because we were both busy with school and full time jobs. About 5 months passed by and this past week we spent a few days together. I knew I would start developing feelings for her again and I did, she was my best friend and truly has most qualities I look for in a partner. She called me last night asking if I wanted to get out of the city and go to the forest. So we went, stayed up all night cuddling under a blanket and holding hands. There was sexual tension but I didn't want to go any further than what we were doing. She asked me if I have been seeing anyone and I said yes nothing serious and she told me she was jealous. 

We basically talked the whole time about how she wanted to do all these things with me and how she missed me, so I said ok what do you want out of this? And she said she wouldn't ever want to get back together. So I said then what are we doing right now, why are you holding me like this, why are you fondling me, and I got frustrated so we ended up leaving. Then later on she said she wishes she could hangout with me without developing feelings for me and that she wanted to see me again. The last thing I said to her was I wish we could start over, she shook her head no and left. I don't get it, I guess some advice on this would be great.

But my real question is why do I continue to want to be with her? She doesn't know what she wants. Not just with this girl, every girl I have dated, no matter what and how many red flags there are I continue to pursue them and then I get hurt. It's utterly stupid, I don't know why I do this and don't know how to break the habit. The closest thing I can compare it to is smoking cigarettes, I know they are bad for me, yet I continue to smoke.

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<bot>: Hungout with my ex and it was all so spontaneous and great, then I fucked it up by getting frustrated. I realize I do the same thing over and over expecting different results.