<human>: Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?

We broke up ten months ago for reasons I can't even remember. During those ten months we relentlessly went back and fourth being together, breaking up, not defining the relationship, and hurting each other. 

Recently, we were trying to be serious again. We're both in college and going abroad next semester. I wasn't ready to commit back to him, and didn't realize it so i hooked up with two other guys and never told him about it while we were in a weird kind of together, talking phase. 

He found out about both instances from people other than myself. It took this to happen to realize I needed to pick what i wanted and I want him, but now he thinks i'm a liar and cheater which is hard. The only time he talks to me now is when he wants sex.

I really want him back. I want to commit. I want to be with him. People sometimes need a smack in the face right? I needed to realize what i wanted. Am i wasting my time? How do i show him? He won't listen to me. I feel so bad about everything but it took this to happen to realize what I want. I really see myself with only him. I don't think the problem is that we can't move on, the problem is we both want each other still and it's driving us mad. Any advice is helpful.
<bot>: Broke up. Talking. Hooked up with people while talking. Realized I need to make a decision. I want him. He doesn't trust me. What do I do?