<human>: This girl has always been a little crush of mine since I first saw her when I was freshman in high school. Into my sophmore year I kind of let on her that I liked her. She let on a little that she did as well, then turned around started dating another guy. I was pretty upset because I felt that she played me, but I was young so I let it go. She's two years older than me so she graduated that year, and over that summer, she and I connected really well, and I fell for her again. When she went away to college (2.5 hours away) I was pretty upset losing someone I felt pretty close to. As my homecoming came up I asked if she wanted to go with me and she said yes because she missed me as well. That night I found out that she had a bf and had never told me. I was devastated. I had my friend call her because I couldn't stand to. I was so upset I coped in a way that may not have been the greatest... Short I made some phone calls to her that were made under some poor influences. Then I didn't talk to her for six months. I became severely depressed and made some poor choices, and came crawling back to her begging for her forgiveness. We kept in contact until she came back over the summer. We once again got really close. We talked and talked and pretty much got to the point where we dating. Except in public. She wouldn't let us hold hands in public or anything like that. I gave her my entire heart and I was pretty upset again as she went back to college. Now it's my senior year and I'm still putting a lot of effort into seeing her and doing as much as I can for her. I spend a lot of money driving to see her and picking up her and stuff like that. At this point I'm now pretty much in love with this girl and have gone my high school without a so much as a date because I don't want anyone else but her.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: Spend 4 years on a girl that won't show me the same feelings I show for her. She's 2.5 hours away. Am I kidding myself?