<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

A bit of history, my boyfriend and I met nearly three years ago but were on and off for a number of reasons, the main one being that we now live in different places and were afraid to start a long distance relationship. Seven months ago we gave it a try and have been completely committed to each other and deeply in love with each other -- he is my best friend, and the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with. The thing is that our early split did a number to my self-esteem and trust of him, mainly because he was my first (I was 20, and had really never found the right guy to trust to be so intimate with), and he was very much the one playing hard to get, so I felt rejected by him early on. Anyway, I know it is not healthy for me to feel self conscious of his previous relationships and hook ups, but I am, and when I was visiting him I ended up borrowing his laptop (no intention of snooping) and ended up looking through photos and texts (imessage) out of curiosity [read: insecurity]. There I found sexts and pics from back before we met, or during the times we were not together. There were also conversations that were clearly girls he slept with (i.e. late night texts asking where to park, then the next text was hours later saying they made it home safely). To be clear, I am not concerned because I feel like he has cheated on me, and I am not accusing him of anything. I am merely wondering what I can do to stop thinking about all of this and feeling so crummy and sick about it. I just hate thinking that those moments that we had that were so special and important to me were just what he did with all of the other girls. This also piggy-backs off my insecurity about the number of women he has slept with, which is 18.
<bot>: I snooped through my boyfriend's photos and texts and found sexual pictures and conversations with women he slept with before me, and it's making me feel sick to my stomach.