<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

Sorry for any spelling mistakes or anything, typing this from my phone. 

Background: My boyfriend and I have an amazing relationship that has managed to flourish against the odds. We were best friends, then long distance for a year. Then them I graduated I moved to his town and lived on my own for 6 months before we moved in together. No issues we haven't been able to communicate over until now...

Yesterday I was just depressed. It's rare but once every few months I just get really down without knowing why. (I tried to figure out why but all I can think is 'I don't know') My boyfriend noticed and asked what was wrong or if I was upset with him to which I replied "I don't know, I know that I'm not mad or upset at you, but I don't know." He was concerned so we just sat there watching tv and him rubbing my shoulders and occasionally trying to figure out what's wrong. It gets late and he suggests bed, so we go but I can't sleep because I've still got things on my mind. Here's where the issue starts...mostly my fault I will admit.

He offers to stay up with me but I tell him it's okay and to go to sleep because he's tired. My father (before my Mom moved us away) always useful to scream at me when I tried talking to him that all my problems ever did was annoy/bother people and to keep them to myself. I've worked with a therapist on that but in situations like the above I still feel like a disgrace because I'm inconvieniencing someone. I wanted him to stay up and hold ne buy he fell asleep and I ended up crying myself to sleep around  3. It was the first time I felt alone in my relationship and it was ny fault.

So today I left without saying anything to my SO (he was still asleep) and now I've got this lingering depression because I felt alone which made it worse.

How do I make this better as he just texted me and asked what he did wrong? Has anyone else had this situation? Like I said it rarely happens (maybe once every few months) so I don't know what to say.
<bot>: I'm depressed and feeling alone because I don't want to be a bother when I dont even know what's wrong and now my boyfriend thinks it's his fault no matter what I say