<human>: I've been with my SO for two years. We've had our fair share of ups and downs but I love him nonetheless. 

I recently gave birth a couple of months back and I've been staying with him since then.  We share a computer, and I was going through some old photos that I had saved on his computer when I came across some porn. I was shocked. .. I mean I had an idea he masturbatored because that's natural.  I just never really gave a thought to what he whacked off to. And when I found it hurt me.  What hurt even worse was when I asked him about it he vehemently denied it until I showed him the pictures and then he said he watched porn but that he never jacked off to it. He still tells me he doesn't.  And I think what hurt me the most was that I had just given birth, I mean come on!  I had watched my body drastically change over a course of nine months!  I went from being a size 4 to bigger and then I give birth to our child and I'm healing so he turns to porn. It's so disrespectful!  I didn't ask him to stop but he said he would and then it was "dropped. " 

it's been months since then and we're engaged now, and I'm not as upset/hurt as I was then but it still bothers me.  I don't know what to do, I find myself scared to leave him alone out of fear that he'll do it, especially since I feel that he said he'd stop just to shut me up. I hate it.  Before I found it I was okay. But he hurt me. He lied about it and went through great lengths to make sure I wouldn't find out.  Like deleting his history and only coming clean when I threw it in his face. I've tried to forget it and even watched porn with him one time just to give it a try. I just can't do it. I'm so confused!  Please help!

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<bot>: Found out SO was watching porn after i gave birth and he lied about it until i forced him to come clean.  Supposed to be marrying him but still hurt and confused