<human>: I have a few, but I will start with this one:

So a couple years ago, I went to meet my best friend at the airport, since neither of us drove. I bussed down there, met her, and back up to Seattle we went. The bus was very full, so we stood up.

One stop after the airport, an obviously drunk hobo who smells of piss comes on the bus. He is standing behind my friend and essentially feeling her up and making creepster noises. My friend gives me the "HALP. HALP NAO" face, and we switch spots. The guy offers to switch spots and I say I am okay. He then starts ranting about how we don't respect our elders anymore and how how was in the merchant marines.

He shuts up after five minutes, and the starts cursing a storm. I ask the guy to shut up, as there's a kid no older than 5 right next to this dude. He flips again and starts bitching about freedom of speech. When he shuts up again, he's now leaning over some 15-16 year old chicks earbud-sharing ad leaning progressively closer to them making the same creepster noises. I tell him to back off, and he flips his shit and (I swear to god I am not making this up) tells me to stop cockblocking him and these two girls were gonna get gangbanged by his other hobo friends.

So we get closer to Seattle and some seats open up, which my friend and I are all too thrilled to take. This guy is still being obnoxious and the driver kicks him off of the bus. On his way out, he sucker punches me in the back of the head.

Some older guy (maybe near 60, who I later find out is a former Marine) tackles the fucker. He gets away, cops called, I give a statement.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: Pervy pedo hobo punches me in the back of the head after I get him kicked off of the bus*