<human>: (Keep in mind this doesn't have anything to do with jealousy or that kind of 'controlling')

Hi. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for just over a year. She had a really tough childhood with a very controlling and angry father. Understandably she gets upset when she feels that I am trying to control or change her. However, this has gotten out of control in the past few months. For example, today I asked her "hey hun, could you please put your new books away in the bedroom?" After they'd been on the table most of the day. She said "sure" and I thought it was fine. However, she seemed upset, and when I asked her why she told me that she gets annoyed when I "constantly ask her to do things and act like her dad." She told me this annoys her and why can't I just let it go. She asked why I can't wait for her to notice and put them away herself, but it had been hours.

The thing is, I am very careful these days about what stuff I even bother mentioning to her as I am worried she'll hold it against me or start acting upset. I like to have a moderately picked up house (nothing crazy, I just like dishes in the sink and things put in the bedroom) and she is definitely more messy. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but the fact that she gets upset when I ask the smallest things of her makes it really hard to put up with. I feel like she expects to be able to leave anything anywhere and I am not allowed to mention it. If I do, I get chastised for trying to change her.

What should I do? What can I do better?

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: girlfriend feels that I am always trying to tell her what to do, I feel like the things I ask are more than reasonable in an even relationship.