<human>: We're both 34 and have been married for six years.  My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and it kills me to cause him this pain, but we have fundamental problems (starting before we were married) that aren't going away after a lot of discussion and work.  The only thing keeping me with him is that I can't stand to see him suffer and each time I've brought up splitting, he's in so much pain that I can't stomach it and agree to keep trying to work it out.  

Anyway, I think it's time to separate at least temporarily.  Do I tell him now or wait until January?  Now that I've come to the decision, I feel guilty and deceptive not telling him immediately—ie, when he talks about any minor plans for the future (a trip, etc), I know that I may not actually be there.  We're supposed to fly out to see his family for Christmas.  He and his family are Catholic and Christmas is incredibly meaningful to him, personally and religiously.  This seems like a terrible time to break this news- I know he would be miserable without me there for Christmas and it would so painful for him.  Is it cruel to drop this on him at Christmas?  Or is it crueler to put it off, knowing that it's waiting for us in a few weeks?
Thanks, guys, for any advice.  I hate this so much.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: This feels like a stupid question but: I want a trial separation from my husband—should I do it now or after Christmas?