<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

25 yr old F here trying to figure out what to do with my ex (25 yr old m). He left me about 7 months ago after dating for 4 years. I was always madly in love with him but sadly I have many issues that he could not handle. In his defense, I don't think many people could handle them honestly. At the age of 10 I was sexually abused by my mothers boyfriend, since then I have been terribly self destructive through eating disorders and self mutilation. What's worse is I have a lack of emotion and I'm not very expressive when it comes to love. I have little to no libido, I don't tend to cuddle, I seclude myself and push others away, and lack passion towards...well..anything. As a child I never saw a therapist so it was only until my ex strongly recommended me to start seeing one that I actually did. I no longer have an eating disorder, however I still obsess about my weight, and I still have intimacy issues. Due to this, I drove my ex, the one person I truly cared about the most, away. He understood what I went through but he couldn't handle the constant lack of affection. We still talk, and, in fact, we are somewhat dating again, but only because he knows that I love him and he believes I can change into a loving, affectionate person. Our problem is, he does not want to invest a lot into me for fear of me rejecting him again, as I have a fear of him leaving me again. So my question is, is this fair to either of us? Should we continue this? I love him and truly think he is my soul mate but Im so scared I will never fully be the affectionate caring person he wants. I'm trying so hard to change (not for him but because I want to) but it still isnt enough for him. Am I better off finding someone that will accept me for me, or does anyone out there think I can actually change since he is worth fighting for, to me at least?
<bot>: abusive past has kept me from becoming intimate with my ex. We want to rekindle our relationship but I'm scared I will never be the affectionate person he really wants. Should I just give up?