<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

so i'm a uni student who is for the first time learning how to do things on my own, like cooking, working out properly etc i get nervous and when that happens i basically screw up and doubt myself.

My self-esteem is pretty low at time and i feel like whenever i screw up my roommates talk behind my back in these closed off meetings.

I think they considered me stupid or retarded, mainly because apparently i can't be in the "boys club" aka taking jokes or talking back to defend myself from said jokes, like they say in a mocking way; "catching feels? LOL" and it's like for me; "shit, am i that much of a pussy, am i normal? why can't i be like them" I hate feeling like the odd man out, like i know how to do things but it feels like when i screw up everyone takes notice and makes it a point to teach me the "correct way", i may have grew up differently and maybe that's why it's affecting things like what side of the sponge to use for dishes, or how i cook, idk i feel like such a loser compared to these guys and it gets under my skin when they assume i don't know what i'm doing. I try to not get under my skin cause i know it'll come up in these little "jokes" idk i feel retarded and dumb a lot, i feel like that in due part of my low self esteem, that hearing these guys tell me how to do everything thinking i'm doing something wrong is making me question who i am, what the fuck am i doing, should i just obey and accept it?

Like one of them said, when we got into a little joking session "Be useful for once Jacob" and immediatly snickered, saying "LOL my bad"

It kinda hurt to think that out of everyone i was the most useless to them, i hated that feeling and it's so much more than that, is there something wrong with me? Am i crazy or retarded or something idk? I feel like if i can't be more like them i'm not part of them.

Sorry that this was long
<bot>: I feel like i'm not normal because of how i react to things compared to everyone else and it effects how i perceive and do things. Help