<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

20/f, he's 21/m. ~9mo

**Backstory/glimpse into my insane mind, also kinda a rant:**

I've been super unhappy in this relationship for a while. I'm the type of girl who will be perfectly happy, and expects to be, to single for life (as long as I have a dog or two), and I honestly never wanted to be in this relationship. But I worried about regretting it if I didn't go for it, and I liked this guy enough so why not give it a try. Every thing goes swimmingly for the first few months, then down hill. I'm not enjoying being in a relationship. I hate it, actually. It just demands more of me emotionally than I want to give. I've been avoiding him for the past few weeks because he just feels like an emotional vampire. And a drama queen. My friends joke that he's the woman in our relationship. He's clingy, low self esteem, and flips out if I so much as don't give him a hug or hold hands if we're out, despite him knowing that I really hate PDA's. And god forbid I don't answer a text as soon as he sends it.

Here's where I get my anxiety about the whole thing: I do absolutely *adore* him. He's one of my best friends, so I'm not at all excited about losing the friendship. And as I said, I have been avoiding him since I really don't enjoy him company. So i'm stressing and anxious because I don't want to see him at all, don't want to loose the friendship, but I can't put this off any longer. I'm just so miserable.

This is my first real relationship, and thus breakup. So I guess I'm just looking for advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation. And I know this will devastate him, so how can i minimize the suffering all around?
<bot>: Desperate to breakup, but really don't want to actually see him. How do I minimize the pain and suffering? I also ranted a bit.