<human>: Im not a very open person and have always used internet anonymity as some kind of therapy service instead of talking to people. Over the course of my relationship with my girlfriend i posted alot of stuff about her and us on the internet assuming she would never find it. It was pretty bad stuff and i really regret the horrible shit she found; thoughts about her weight gain; desires for other girls; porn viewing habbits; a rough period where i wanted to break up. etc.

We didnt break-up and instead looked to fix these things. We have moved on but i fear the relationship is beginning to turn stale again and there is an overriding urge in me to date and meet other girls.
I do still love her but i dont think its working for me in the short-term.
 Im scared of the future and worried that if we break up she will forever hate me and recall all these things- i also fear blackmail and my private internet social life being revealed to all my social circles.

What do i do?
Im terrified a clean mutual breakup for the best is impossible.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: girlfriend found horrible shit i posted about her on the internet. we stayed together. i was a douche i admit that. scared of breaking up in fear of blackmail and other self-destructive behaviour from girlfriend.