<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

I was inspired to share this after seeing another TIFU thread about someone who had serious skin problems from not changing his sheets for years. Well, I wasn't that gross to go years without changing, but I would occasionally go a couple of months without changing them. Well, this wouldn't be as gross if it weren't for the fact that my apartment had a cockroach infestation. So, I had a pair of shorts that I kept in my bed, and only put on when it was cold. So I hadn't really worn them for a few weeks, but left them in my bed. I decided it was time to wash them anyhow, so as I picked them up, a giant, dead, cockroach fell out of them. I had been sleeping on top of those shorts with the dead roach in it for who knows how long. Maybe it wasn't dead when it went in the shorts, and I accidentally rolled over in my sleep and crushed it.
<bot>: Didn't change sheets often enough or make my bed, found out I had been sleeping on top of a cockroach for probably a couple weeks.