<human>: So today I really fucked up. I fucked up so bad that I made this account just to tell this crazy shit. God I don't know what I was thinking. So I was cooking some steak in the kitchen. By cooking I mean I microwaved leftovers. Anyway with steak obviously you have to have a steak knife. So anyway my cousin and I are pulling an all nighter or was. And all today he has been jumping out of nowhere and trying to scare me. Now I know you think you know what is going to happen. Your thinking I didn't see him, but I did. I heard his heavy ass breathing like a damn vacumm and I looked in the reflection of the knife and see his ass stalking me like a pedofile at a playground. I was getting tired of this chidish shit so I thought "hey I'm going to scare the shit outta him by swinging the knife". He is going to shit his pant I thought. So I turn around and swing like a damn ninja. At the same time this motherfucker jumps at me. The knife connects with his chest making a fucked up version of an anime sword fight death. He falls back...but gets back up and says "ow"in a very anticlimatic ending but the beginning of my horror. I rush towards him and call 911. He is sitting there laughing his ass off as I'm in fucking shock. The paramedics come and I explain the story he starts laughing ( sadistic fuck) and tells me to calm down. I honestly thought I was going to get arrested.  I called my mom and his mom and...yea I am dead (Black and Asian mom and aunt.)

Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Cousin tried to scare. Caught him in the act and tried to reverse the scare onto him by lunging at him with a knife and missing. Hit him know he is in the hospital with minor injuries.