<human>: Really Need Advice for Post Break Up Dated this girl for 1.75 years. was madly in love. went on vacation for a month without her with limited contact because it just wasnt possible in many places. thought i should be single because i wasnt sure she was the one for me for the rest of my life and if not i wanted to live up my last 2 years of college. came back from vacation became distant to her and a few weeks later we broke up (which was my intention.) 

for the first month after breakup i was so happy to finally be single. out of no where i became depressed and couldnt get her out of my mind. this has now lasted until now (4 months later). we were back together for a brief period of time after the breakup where we probably would have gotten back together but she was playing mind games with me and even though we were hooking up and slept together a few times (not sex) she kept saying she wouldnt date me again. during this period i was also hooking up with another girl to kind of keep myself from being heartbroken again because if she really meant that then i would have this other girl. soon after that she realizes she does want to be with me but out of no where it gets back to her that ive been hooking up with that other girl (even though she said you can hook up with other people) and she texted me that ima scumbag and never talk to her again. 

that was 2 months ago. ive gotten with many girls since than but the overwhelming feeling of love remains and i really dont know what to do. i want her back so desperately and she told me that she truely does still love me but shes still hurt and doesnt want to get back in the relationship, but wants to remain on good terms. i keep telling myself to get over her but i just cant. i really think she is my oneitis. any advice you guys can give me would be great and id really appreciate it.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: Really dont know how to handle my breakup. Still want my ex gf back even though I was the one who initiated the breakup. She was my first love and we both lost our virginity to each other.