<human>: Hi,my situation is very typical at first glance: I'm a straight guy,20 and I just happen to have a crush on a girl of my age. I'm an introverted romantic type,I'm hiding my feelings from her,I try to write songs to cope with overwhelming pressure of keeping my feelings a secret. Now here's the complicated part: sometimes I feel like I don't care if she feels the same,sometimes I don't even feel like I have any feelings towards her,as if I've fallen in love with the idea of a girl who she is not in reality. Real or not,something fuels my musical inspiration like never before.I'm trying to understand what I feel towards this person,so far unsuccessfully.Is it limerence? Do I have periods of total apathy? Any suggestion is appreciated.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: A straight guy has a crush on a girl,but doesn't know what he feels.Sometimes it's love,sometimes it's nothingness.What is the term for combined state of these emotions and what should I do with it?