<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

So, basically I'm a little boy trapped in the body of a hairy mountain of a man. What is a popular thing for little boys to do? Well, build potato cannons, obviously. But since I have a job, I can afford to make my cannon a bit more... *industrial.* This includes a [push-button barbecue igniter] to light it off, because only peasants light their spud guns with lantern lighters. 

So I got the parts after work today with the intent to assemble them some time in the next few days, or over the weekend at least. Being the little boy that I am, I decided to start screwing around with the piezo sparker that I bought. So I have the electrode and the wires hooked up, and for some reason I can't get it to spark. So I'm sitting there, clicking away at the button, messing with the gap in the wires, etc. All of a sudden, I realize something - every time I press the button, I get a twinge and sharp pain in my fingers. Not much, but it's there. So what do I do? Maybe, stop pressing the button? Nope. Just keep on absentmindedly clicking away, repeatedly shocking my hand, which is numb at this point. Eventually I realized that my hand position was what was causing the current to jump across my hand. I am a fucking retard.
<bot>: Turned myself into a human jumper cable because I'm too tired to  make the connection that - button press = zap.