<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

I started a new job a few months ago. Recently, I've been working on a couple projects with a coworker named Jesse, and we've started to become good friends. 

The issue I'm having is that it's unclear to me whether Jesse identifies as male or female or neither. I guess when I first met Jesse I assumed they were male, just based on outward appearance and the fact that they usually (but not always) wear more masculine clothing. But as I've gotten to know Jesse I have become more unsure. Jesse has sort of casually referred to themself as female a few times. For example, we were talking about what we saw ourselves doing in the future, and Jesse said they dreamed of moving to a farm in a rural area because they are "a country girl at heart."

I was thinking of asking one of my other coworkers about Jesse's gender identity but I'm not sure if that's a good idea because I have heard different coworkers refer to Jesse as both "him" and "they". 

So basically I want to ask Jesse what pronouns they use. But I'm not sure if this is a rude question? I don't want to presume anything about Jesse's gender identity but I also don't want to offend them. Am I overthinking this? Is it okay to just ask?
<bot>: I have recently become friends with a coworker named Jesse. I am unsure of their gender identity. Is it okay to ask them what pronouns they use?