<human>: Please, I know how beneficial they are and how cruel it is to kill them, etc. etc. but logic seldom comes into play when you're dealing with a phobia. And yes, I'll be very careful around the school children.

You might have to have arachnophobia to understand that I can't get within about 5 feet of them, can't see them die or deal with them when they're dead. And having one just 'go away' doesn't help at all (where is it going to jump out next?)

I'm going to put around some diatomaceous earth but I know it's less effective with spiders that walk up on their feet without having their bodies come in contact with it. I'm wondering if anyone has tried putting something like bleach, ammonia, hairspray, WD40, habanero sauce, Raid etc. into a long-shooting spray bottle (I'm grasping for ideas here).
Also, has anyone used the extendable spider zapper by DynaZap? I can see how it would work in theory but in practice? My ideal would be a laser gun that would disintegrate them on contact. Short of that any suggestions?

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: please don't lecture me. Just save me a whole bunch of grief and tell me what you've done that worked.