<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

I can't decide if I'm just a selfish person or bipolar. I like my alone time a great deal, and after a couple of hours of lectures, I need to come home and recharge my batteries. 

I don't have any close friends in college (even though I've been here for around 6 months now), apart from my flatmate, but then I guess it's just the proximity that's made us more open to each other, not any real effort on my part.

Now, the problem is, sometimes I really like being by myself that way, because I don't have to listen to anyone moan about their lives, or talk about themselves incessantly. However, other times, I wish I had closer friends so I could vent my problems to them. Basically, I want 'friends' who I can hold at an arms length - be close and chatty to them when I want and ignore them when I want. In fact a few people in my circle of acquaintances have noticed this and brought it up.

I think maybe a lot of this stems from the fact that the people I know often pretend to be nice to each other, and then massively bitch about them behind their back. A part of me thinks there's no point having friends like this.

I also have never had a boyfriend. I guess I've never just been particularly interested, yeah you have someone to snuggle and kiss but it's all gonna go down hill in 4 months isn't it? I start getting friendly with someone and then end up thinking what's the point? I don't want to be tied down and my freedom is important. Plus when a guy is nice to me, I end up shooting him down, and it feels good transiently - but then I regret it later and just want to give them a hug.
<bot>: I go from hot to cold super fast - putting effort into my studies will always be rewarding, but putting effort into people seems pointless (mainly) even though I think it would make me happier. WTF is going on...?