<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

Like most TIFU stories this story happened years ago but it resurfaced with the telling of jokes for the season.

 Back when I was a youngling, about 7 or so, we used to have lunch in our classrooms so that our teacher could supervise our eating and ensure we were eating all of our food. 

So there I am with my friends eating lunch all merrily when my one of my friends decided to tell a joke just as I was swallowing my milk. For the life of me I can't remember the joke but all I know it was so funny to me that the milk came through mostly my nose and some of my mouth and there I am sputtering like a seal because any liquid coming through your nose with force burns like hell and I also began to choke because some of it went down the wrong pipe. when i finally catch myself, I look at my friends who are now wiping themselves in disgust and are covered in the finest of misty milky mists.  Even made one of them cry.
<bot>: Don't drink and listen to a joke unless you're aiming for bathing and pissing off your friends, happened to me.