<human>: Okay, so to start things off this is not the first time I have had motivation/ambition issues. Last year (as a freshman, I am a sophomore now) I was offered a varsity spot but declined. Not due to concern over riding the bench, but over concern over whether I wanted to play varsity with strangers, or JV with my friends. My school soccer program is not very good, and I just do not know if I even want to play, let alone varsity. It is the 2nd week of our season, practices are insanely tough, and the coach wants me. I hate to toot my own horn but I am one of the top 3 players on our team. Do I lead my team on, and take a starting spot without being motivated to keep it and play to win, or do I quit and get ridiculed like I did last year when I didnt want to play varsity? My parents also would probably not support me quitting either. I have 36 hours from now to decide.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: idk if motivated to play varsity soccer, do i lead team on being unmotivated, or quit and get ridiculed and anger my parents? 36 hours from now I must decide. hit me