<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

When I was 14, I was friends with this family down the street, nice mom, dad had recently moved out, Cute daughter a year older than me.  So the mom calls my house and asks if I can come over and help her move some stuff (heavy, leftover man stuff).  I go and help her.  In the midst of lifting some boxes full of old sports memorabilia I decide this fart thats been making my ass pucker for a solid ten minutes is going to come out no matter what i do to stop it.  I excuse myself to the bathroom, barely make it in before the mouth of hell opens in my pants.  Shit...everywhere...  Get to the toilet to let the lasts droplets of brown rain cascade into the bowl.  Sweating, pants full of diarrhea, I focus my saving grace, the toilet paper... WTF no tp!  ok boxers off, find dry spot, wipe.  feeling better.  Realize I cant go back out there to face mom and daughter.  Out the first floor window.  Full, squishing sprint back to my house.  Never heard back from them.
<bot>: Helped a kind neighbor move some divorce memories, diarrhea'd my jeans, wiped with boxers, squish-sprinted home, never heard from them again :(