<human>: This actually happened a few minutes ago. Today is day five of labour (counting from early labour). My contractions have not been behaving (very weak) and I'm allergic to the synthetic hormone used in inductions. Baby is of good cheer, so we've just been soldiering on despite my fatigue. I've been faithfully doing the "push" thing when I have contractions... or so I thought.

I'm assured that labour pushing is "just like pooing", and so I've been doing what I do to poop. Relaxing my nether muscles and lightly tensing the sides of my abs, allowing the poop to just fall out. Doing that has resulted in a baby halfway down the birth canal, still wearing my cervix as a hat. Today I learned... that's not how normal people do it. They tense everything up and push downwards. This is a game changer.

So I have now been to the toilet and tried this new method of pushing, and blow me down, it does totally different things to my uterus! The baby actually rammed against my pelvic floor! The muscles are protesting this strange motion, but we have solved the question of why my contractions don't know what to do with themselves (muscles have never done anything like this before), and so we're taking a brief break, during which my husband is having a slight mental health problem about the fact that we've been battling for ages because I poop funny, and now I get to try again, finally understanding what I need to do to help my contractions.

Wish me luck, and please ladies, don't poop like I used to.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: have been struggling with labour for five days because my strange way of pooping left me with muscles that don't know the motions.