<human>: Summarize the given text in a few sentences.

Hi. This is my second post on this subreddit. While they cover similar themes, I'm not going to file this under an update.

I'm currently a junior student at a college. Throughout my life, I dealt with confidence issues and difficulty socializing. I don't have any strong friends and have never even dated. And now that I'm in college, I feel completely invisible. Nobody initiates anything in my life. 

During this weekend, I kind of broke down to some online friends. None of them seemed that willing to help, or interested whenever or not I'd stay or leave. I went swimming for 2 hours to relieve tension. It really helped, and I felt more talkative.

But here is the cruel scenario. Without my confidence, I was essentially ignored. If I am able to make progress with my confidence, it would just prove that no one gives a shit about the pathetic. And if people without any kind of confidence can't find even basic forms of love...*I will be completely and utterly apathetic*. Happier, but secretly thinking people as subhuman, only there for my pleasure and pass the time.

I don't want to change like this. I just want to be me and be loved. Not even on a romantic level! Just someone who cares, and would miss me when I'm gone. Should I try to stay closer to me, or throw the towel? How can one possible forgive people and take their love after being ignored for years?
<bot>: College dude with confidence issues. I may gain confidence, but at the cost of hating humanity forever. What should I do? Am I wrong?