<human>: Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?

Using a throwaway for this one. 

I've always been an anxious gal. I'm very high functioning - I've been able to hold down a good job with multiple promotions, I have an active social life, and I exercise a lot. I get stuck inside of my own head quite frequently, and if I don't shake myself out of it, I end up taking some Tylenol PM and going to sleep at night to get away from my worries. Therapy isn't really an option for me right now - I haven't found the right one. I know I need some help and exercises to work through my worries.

Now, I try not to inflict this on my SO as much as I can. I would consider myself a good partner - I'm compassionate, attentive, and loving. This is my one affliction that I can't shake. 

Whenever something is bothering me, I will communicate it and preface it with a million "I'm sorry" or "This is ridiculous" and then spill. My SO has never been taken aback about any of my worries. Then, I get in my head that he thinks I'm too anxious and that he won't marry me because I worry so much and that's a dealbreaker for him. So, what I do is I overcompensate by showering him with words of affirmation and affection for "putting him through my bullshit." Each time, he tells me he loves me and it's all part of being a human being - to have fears, thoughts, and worries. 

I haven't shared him with this, but as a pre-teen, my mother was slightly physically abusive. If I would cry, she would slap me or pull my hair. Each time I would come to her with a worry or issue, it was always my fault, or "What did I tell you? I knew that would be a mistake and now you have to pay for it." Obviously, this is not healthy and it's ingrained in me.

What can I do (besides see a professional) to stop worrying about my future with my SO? How can I healthily communicate this without coming across like a nutty girlfriend?
<bot>: I have a hard time talking about my feelings because of past childhood trauma. This has translated to anxiety in adult years and causes me to be overly concerned about my SO thinking I'm nuts.