<human>: Provide a brief overview of the text.

We have been dating for over 3 years, and I recently moved near him. I had a job for about 2 months (my first one) but had to move in with some family about 15 minutes away, so I am not with the company anymore. It's been a couple months since then, but it seems like there are no job prospects here. 

Luckily I found a daycare job and am in the process of becoming employed, but it's taking longer than expected. So, he has to pay my rent for December. He agreed that he wouldn't have a problem with this a month in advance, so it's not an issue for him, and I plan to pay him back a couple months after my employment starts. So everything is agreed upon. 

But I still feel like a complete asshole. I don't even want Christmas gifts from him, honestly. I feel bad that ones I give him will probably be late (not to mention late Christmas gifts for my family too) and all of it feels stressful and guilt-ridden. 

We still go on dates, but of course he pays for everything. He's so nice, and I feel so guilty. I don't know how to get past it. I haven't even brought up Christmas to him. I feel so horrible. I wish it wasn't the holidays.

I've never had to be so financially dependent on someone, especially someone who I don't want to mooch off of. I have taken him out on plenty of dates where I paid in full (when I was employed) but now it's just embarrassing, and I feel like a horrible person.
<bot>: Can't support myself right now, so boyfriend has to. I feel guilty, ashamed and like an asshole, but grateful. How do I get past this?