<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

So it wasn't much of a fuck up other than the fact that I almost had a heart attack .....
So it happened around 4 in the afternoon.... I was doing the weekly cleaning of my mother's car and mine when I hear a mewing (is it mewing? ).... the sound was that of a kitten that was lost or possibly hungry and living in the middle of nowhere in Florida hearing a cat when I don't own one was very strange so I decided to investigate which I where my fuck up began....
So I follow the sound of what I think was kitten and I end up a couple feet from a semi trailer that my dad uses to store his work supplies when all of a sudden a large ass ninja snake slithered/jumped off the top of the trailer landing right in front of my feet scaring me half to death ..... my first thought sadly however was "wait... snakes don't meow" and of course my second thought was then " HOLY SHIT FLYING SNAKE"..... needless to say I ran my ass very quickly away 
Normally I'm not afraid of snakes but ninja snakes can scare one so after I gathered my wits I went back outside to try and find this apparent kitten but there was no sign of it but I did encounter the ninja snake who just happened to thankfully be a rather adventurous indigo snake ..... 
Hope I wrote this well and you enjoyed it ... :P
<bot>: Tried to be a nice person and help a kitten but got attacked by a ninja snake .... never found the kitten -.-