<human>: Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?

Decided to whip up a homemade pizza for my boyfriend last night... and when I say homemade I mean store-bought crust, sauce, and cheese with sliced up veggies from my own garden.  We bote love jalapeños,  the spicier the better, so I obviously tossed those bitches on there with the deft hand of a bitch who loves her some jalapeños. As the pizza was cooking,  I was lounging on the couch checking up on my Netflix game when suddenly my vajay starts tingling which very quickly turns into a FULL BLOW BURN FEST. I had no idea what was happening until I realized I must have been randomly feeling myself. NBD, chics do that shit all the time (am a chic, can confirm.) The burning dies off after a few minutes and I relax. Little did I know this would only be the first of 5 more burn fest 3000's that would be occurring throughout the evening.
<bot>: cut up some jalapeños then proceeded to subconsciously play with my clit 6 times in a 2.5 hour period