<human>: Thia fu did not happen today.

So, I was at a good girl friend's house playing some beer pong. The game was pretty close and I decided I needed to loosen up before my next shot. My stretch of choice was terrible. It's the one where you turn your upper body while leaving your hips and legs planted. Being quite a few beers in and feeling good, I left my arms loose. I'm 6'2 with a wingspan that's longer than my height. I get a few rotations in when BAM, I feel my forehand catch something full contact. I turn around and....it's my friend/the host. She's like, 5'4...so my hand caught her right across her cheek. I straight pimp slapped her at a decent velocity. Felt terrible, but she's a pretty damn chill girl and she got over it pretty quick.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: was drunk, decided to stretch out my lb/hips dynamically with my long ass wingspan and pimpslapped a girl in the face.