<human>: So, this was yesturday, as I was in deep shit from this. Considering she probably has no idea Reddit exists, I should be safe putting this here.

But anyways, she got out of work (she's a teacher) and the class she was in was a shitty one. So she decided to go out with friends and drink a little bit. One thing led to another, and I ended up having to go with my stepdad to get her. I have a permit, mind you, so as soon as we got there, she rode with me and I drove her home, following my stepdad.

Well, we got home, and it was quite the adventure (she told me things I'd rather not know or ever speak of) so I decided to post it on Facebook to lol it out of my system and hopefully out of hers.
An hour later, I'm called upstairs, and screamed at for posting it. As of right now, my phone is in her possession, and I've resorted to Skype and Facebook messenging to communicate with my SO and a few friends.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: Mom got really drunk, drove her home, thought it was funny so I posted it on Facebook, and got the wraith of Cthulu.