<human>: Hey /r/relationships,

I'm having an issue with my mom and I'm not sure how to handle it.

Lately, my mom has been talking about what happens when my father dies. It's gotten to the point where it is the opening line in almost every phone call. "You got engaged? Good, two people to take care of me when I'm alone!", "A promotion at work? Excellent, you'll have money to pay for my retirement home", "You ran a marathon? Glad you're nice and healthy so you can take care of me". It turns out that my step-father lost a lot of money during the 2008 crash, and there won't be much left for her if he dies. He also brings in the majority of the income, and I suspect they are substantially in debt.

There's two aspects to this: the first, and I hate myself for even saying this, but I wish this didn't come up as a topic for discussion. It puts a tremendous amount of stress on me and my wife, and makes any family get together extremely uncomfortable for both of us. However, I feel that I'm a bad son if I tell her that this isn't something that should be coming up at every function.

The other aspect is that my wife and I don't have the means to support her. We're just now starting on the road to financial stability. Again, I hate myself for saying this, but I don't want to tell my wife that we can't have a family because we're going to be spending all of our money to take care of my mom. I also don't want to have to tell my mom that she's going to be living on the street because I won't take care of her.

I don't know how to handle this. It's gotten to the point where it's brought my wife to tears, and I'm to the point of absolute frustration. I feel like if my father dies, I've either got to choose between having a family and a life, or taking care of her for the next 20 years. It's one of those situations where I feel like either way, I come out a horrible person and I'll be forced to hurt someone I love.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: My mother constantly talks about my father dying, and I don't know how to her talking about it, or how to handle it if it actually happens.