<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

This TIFU actually happened in the third week of the semester, just when the new freshies are getting situated into their friend groups and developing trust. 

There was a girl on my team (I'm on an XC team) who I began messing with on Monday by saying things like "I know what you did this weekend... sicko," "Hey, Eddie and I heard about Friday," and "Can't believe you did that." So I did this the whole week, totally innocuous. I then left Thursday to visit my girlfriend.

I come back Sunday and see her walking with a group of new friends (15+ girls) through the school and think "Perfect scenario to mess with her." I yell her name across the parking lot and say "THE WHOLE SCHOOL KNOWS. EVERYBODY KNOWS." She acts a bit taken aback and all I'm thinking is "God damn, I fucking nailed that one."

The evening my apartment goes to Moes and I tell them about my totally killer move. They lose it. Chaos erupts in the Moes, our Burrito barista can't hear if we want guac, and the manager runs from the back to see what happened. 

They inform me that she got super drunk (20+ shots), got kicked out a frat, got lost in parking lot, police picked her up and drove her to the hospital, stomach got pumped, and then she drunkenly snuck out of the hospital so she could get back to campus, called a cab, passed out face down in her hospital gown outside her dorm room, ass out.
<bot>: I accidentally yelled at a freshman girl and her friends that the whole schools about her being the drunkest girl in the state.