<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

I only think it is fair I should begin.

So growing up in a small town everybody knows everybody but once in awhile we got a rare chance to go to these massive house parties out in the country. These parties were usually thrown by really rich kids with massive houses and tons of money to throw away and what was my favorite part was that since these kids were in a different school district we never really knew them or had to see them on a regular basis.

So we're at this party having a great time and what not but like I'm prone to do I drink waaay to much and pass out. So I'm laying on the sofa when suddenly its like Jesus himself brings me forth and is like "Steve, you need to piss NOW". So I jump up.

Y'know when you need to piss but there is like this subconscious countdown that begins in your head? You're like "I gotta pee...but I got like 5 minutes until systems go critical." Well I just woke up from my beer-coma and systems were beyond critical. 

So I start running towards my best guess where a bathroom might be but as this is a massive house I get a little lost. I run into a dark room and think "Fuck it. I'm not peeing myself." So I whip down my pants and start peeing.

I hear this weird hissing noise but I'm too busy feeling relieved to care so once I'm done I zip up and walk away.

A few minutes later people are saying they can smell something really rank, kinda like piss. I can smell it too.

So this smell is permeating throughout the house and everyone is talking about it trying to find the source. Finally this girls who's throwing the party Dad comes down and starts investigating.

He comes back a few minutes later red as a child's freshly spanked bottom and screams "WHO PISSED ON THE FURNACE!?"

I've never ran so fast in my life.
<bot>: Got super drunk, passed out, had to take emergency piss and pee'd on the furnace causing the smell of stinky urine to permeate the house.