<human>: Can you give me a shortened version of the text?

Please someone help me out with this. 

I'm trying this and I'm struggling. I'm reading a lot of r/niceguys to internalise the hatred of being frustrated with someone else when they reject you. However I have a history of mental health issues so this is a fine line.

If for example a girl rejects me because another guy has a hotter body (let's say he's 12% I'm 15%) I blame myself for being fat. 

If he has a great job and I flip burgers in McDonalds I blame myself for being stupid burger boy. 

If he is a lead singer of a band and I just write crummy songs in shower I blame myself for not having a 3 and a half octave range 

I'm trying this but it's making myself feel crap, however the alternative is that I am labelled a Nice Guy (™) and then women will hate me forever. This must be avoided at all costs, it's not the girl's fault if I'm not good enough for her, however constantly having to tell myself 'I wasn't good enough and it's not her fault' is leading to some self-loathing and re-emergence of perfectionism traits…which ultimately leads to being afraid of women and avoiding them. I am at stupid shit like 'if I have insomnia and she isn't interested because that guy doesn't then it's my fault for having issues' 'if he has higher test and my low test is just not attractive that's my fault for having a weak hormonal profile' this goes on until I've made myself ill with neuroses

I admire Dad because he managed to get to a point where even though Mom cheated on him he blamed himself for being a pussy
<bot>: have absorbed the Nice Guy thing to blame myself if women do not like me but end up getting butthurt about it-> no correction majorly neurotic-> how to deal?