<human>: *"Just be yourself."*

I've most commonly heard this suggestion to guys seeking advice come from women, so while my intention wasn't really to single anyone out, I suppose this question is primarily directed at you. I was roaming around /r/AskWomen and I saw this advice pop up repeatedly, which got me thinking as to whether anyone has actually thought this advice through.  I don't know about any other guys out there, but when I was younger I used to hate hearing this whenever I asked anyone for advice with dating/relationships.

To me, it seems like a mildly insensitive and frankly superficial thing to say, especially because the followup is usually a collection of other blanket directives along the lines of: "be funny", "be intelligent", "be kind/caring", I've even heard/seen guys told to "just be a man/masculine". What if they're *genuinely* not funny? What if they don't fit with what people have been socialized to deem as *masculine*?  I think that if the guys "being themselves" was really the problem, it would have solved itself already. I mean, they've been "being themselves" for however long without any self-satisfactory results, and that's kind of the point. By the time they ask for advice, they've already convinced themselves that there is something wrong with them, and they need to change themselves to get results. Which is wrong. Odds are, there's nothing really "wrong" with the guy, he just needs to be more confident in himself, more comfortable in his own skin. He needs to *own* who and what he is and make it work for himself. Personally I think that's the problem most guys have. I know that was the main problem I had growing up. 

I believe that rather than telling a guy to just "be yourself", it would be better instead to tell them "be *confident* being yourself", or better still- "be *comfortable being* yourself".

Anyway, just a thought. I could be crazy and that's actually what people have meant all this time and I just didn't get it. Either way, any thoughts?

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: Be yourself" seems rather superficial advice, mainly 'cause guys have been being themselves all their lives (without satisfactory results). "Be comfortable being yourself" seems much better, no?