<human>: My grandma's funeral is in 8 hours or so, and it's 4 a.m. but I'm wide awake. I have a severe phobia of dead bodies and things related to them, and I barely made it at the viewing last night. I stayed in the very back of the room the whole time, and frequently left to sit in the nearby sitting room.

I know that family members are supposed to sit in the front row at funerals, and everyone will probably look down on me for sitting in the back, but I feel so sick just thinking about being close to the front and having to look at my grandma, who looks NOTHING like she did in life (I caught a glimpse last night despite trying my best to avoid it).

Anyway, I've been throwing up for a few days out of sheer anxiety, my anxiety meds aren't doing a thing, and I'll probably feel like throwing up at the funeral, too. No one really understands the extent of this phobia. I told my mom at the viewing last night that I was going to sit in the back today and she pursed her lips and said "We'll see." I could see her disapproval. But I'm just feeling so sick, so uncomfortable, that I will probably have to get up and step out during the service and it would be better not to have to walk all the way from the front and be distracting, wouldn't it?

I'm sure my grandma would understand. It's not that I'm trying to insult her memory or anything by being scared to death of dead people. That body is not my grandmother anymore, it's just the shell she used to be in. Should I feel bad for not being able to sit in close proximity to her? Is it okay for me to sit in the back? It would be nice for me to show support for my father, who lost his mother, but I think I can do that without fueling my phobia and anxiety.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: I want to sit in the back at my grandma's funeral today because of my phobia of dead people. Been throwing up for days and just don't feel comfortable sitting close to the front.