<human>: It sounds weird, I know, but it's been oddly great. We were friends, spending time together and talking about our memories of our mutual friend, hanging out more and more, until we finally leap right into our feelings for each other one night, and have been together since. 

I'm struggling very hard to reconcile this. If she were still alive, he'd be with her, and it's unfair of me to even see it this way. She was a friend, and in both of our minds, she somehow brought two people she cared about together (cheesy but it feels true for us). She will never be back, and yet I am almost envious of her. 

I feel so much inadequacy whenever he brings her up now, I feel angry with her, I feel angry at myself for being angry at her. Any reminder that he was happy with her, and might not be as happy with me, makes me sad. I feel the need to be everything and more for him, and every time I say something that she'd be cooler about, I beat myself up. As simple as saying while watching a show, "I wouldn't want seafood cooked over an open fire", to which he'll respond that he thinks it sounds cool. I'll instantly think, "She was so outdoorsy and so is he, I bet she'd love it. She was more fun than me". 

I don't know if this is something to talk about with him. I know it's so unfair to him to feel this way, all he did was lose some one, but it eats at me in little pieces that leave me wondering how I could be good enough. Outside of moments when she's brought up, I feel great about myself and our relationship, and he does everything he can to help me stay there. One mention of her, and the whole night goes south for my psyche. He doesn't know that this is what causes it, he just knows that I don't always feel great about myself and does whatever he can to cheer me up. How do I handle this?

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: I don't know how to reconcile a deceased ex with my current relationship, and how to talk about this problem, at all. It hurts a lot some days.