<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

Well I'm a cop with handcuffs...and my gf has always wanted to be handcuffed and have "stuff" done to her. 

So I bought new handcuffs for "off duty" and "personal" uses. 

My gf is coming up to stay with me for a week. (She lives about 2.5 hours away) and me after a night drinking (my handful of days off) decided to test these handcuffs for her.

I'm currently hammered on my bedroom floor with both of my arms handcuffed behind my back...and I can't get the key to go in. It's gonna be one long uncomfortable night until I get my friend to uncuff me in the morning. And yeah I'm typing this behind my back. It's not easy or fun. My wrists really hurt.
<bot>: I'm a cop, gf wants to be handcuffed for sexy time, I get drunk (when I'm off duty) and test new handcuffs for her. Now I'm stuck. Please send help.