<human>: Can you summarize the given text in a few sentences?

As with many TIFUs, this did not happen today. 

While arriving to a music venue before one of my band's gigs, I noticed my car was overheating. Being an irresponsible person that already had a few drinks on the way to the show (first fuck up), I decided I would open the radiator cap before allowing the car to completely cool off (second fuck up). I understood the dangers involved but decided I would be fine if I used a rag and slowly let the steam out before removing the cap. I had it under control for a minute before the cap shot out of my hand and coolant sprayed me in the face and soaked the right arm of my sweatshirt. I quickly washed my face off with puddle water and then realized my sweatshirt was stuck to my right arm, burning it badly. I removed my sweatshirt and rinsed my right arm off but it was too late. I would find out shortly after that about 60% of my right arm suffered 2nd degree burns. 

In a ridiculous amount of pain, I ran to a CVS down the street to purchase some burn cream, gauze, tape and whatever first aid products I thought I would need. This is when I learned that there are like 1000 different types of burn cream, all with specific applications. I was in too much pain to focus and grabbed supplies as quickly as I could. 

When I got to the cash register, the employee initiated small talk, asking how I was. I throw the cream on the counter and exclaim "worst burn of my life". Keep in mind, at this point, there were no signs of a burn other than the look of pain on my face. My arm wasn't showing any indication of a burn yet, other than a little redness that was hidden by my tattoos.

It wasn't until I went outside and gave the supplies to a helping friend that I was informed I purchased hemorrhoid cream while telling the girl at the register that I had the worst burn of my life.
<bot>: Burned my arm opening the radiator of an overheating car, purchased hemorrhoid cream at a CVS while telling the girl at the register that I had the worst burn of my life.