<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

So its not the most extreme thing but here it goes.

Me and my friends had decided to go out this evening to get a few drinks and may be pull. I thought I'd get ready and shave the old public region because it was getting a tad long, but add a little twist ; an England flag. I thought it would funny since the world cup was coming and added a little bit of humour to my genitals.

This is where it went wrong. I started shaving with my electric razor so that it wasn't down to the wood so that it didn't look like I'd done it today. Then it began. The razor started to finally give in and run out of battery. At this point I'd shaved enough in a couple of areas but the rest was still long, making it look like I had alopecia of the pubic bone.

My next thought was to dive in the shower and finish the job manually. I pick up the first razor I see and decide to just cut my losses and go bald. I finished the job and realised I'd left a thick mat of black pubes in my MOTHER'S razor. I tried to pick them all out and cut myself, and also had clogged up the razor.
<bot>: tried to shave my pubes into an England flag, electric razor ran out making it look appalling, had to go manual and have left black mat of  pubes that won't shift in my mother's razor.