<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

I met this girl way back in my first week at university, and I was only 16. I was instantly smitten with her, but promptly entered the friend zone. After three years of being her best friend and having her know I love her, she decides that she feels the same way. But as I'm sure you can predict she changes her mind two weeks later. 6 months later, same thing, realizes again she loves me. Changes her mind three weeks later. So that was about 1 year ago now, and we are still best friends, despite going through a shitstorm of drama (I've fought guys over her, thrown her out of the house, had screaming wars basically once a week).

So its been 5 lonnnggg years now, and I still can't move past it. Every time I see her with a guy it hurts a little more, every time I speak to another girl, I cant stop thinking "this chick has nothing on x", and similarly, every time I look in her eyes my heart still melts, and I never want to look away.

So whats wrong with me Reddit? Because if Im rational, I know I should just cut that shit away, and go on to better things, "someone who will treat me right" and all that bullshit. I dont even know if its love anymore, I hate her for the torture she's put me through for the past 5 years, but most of me still sees her as perfect.
<bot>: In love with best friend who can't make up her mind on how she feels, and despite my best efforts I really cant shake it.