<human>: Let me first give a little back story. 

My mum left when I was about 4 or 5. My brother and I were mainly raised by my dad. I have no memories of mum and dad together. We didn't start seeing her regularly for a while, and even then it was every other weekend.

When I was Age 7 my dad remarried, and we all moved in with her and her 2 kids. I was excited about getting someone to do mum things with. She was horrible and treated us different to her children. I became depressed and sad. Age 15 I moved into my mums.

My depression was extremely hard to deal with. This made me a moody and isolated teenager. I did some stupid stuff and overdosed and ran away. Mum had no sympathy. She told me I was stupid and making it up, how could I be so selfish. She was gonna send me back to my dads if I didn't behave myself. I was grounded for months.

Age 17 I got a boyfriend and finally found some happiness. I only stayed at home once or twice a week and eventually moved out at 18.

I'm now 20, and I live with my boyfriend and his parents. I am loved and feel like I belong in a family. But I hear my mum is resentful and jealous that I get along with my mother in law better then her. She thinks I've replaced her. My past haunts me and I'm still getting periods of depression. 

I love my mum, I won't deny I resent her for not being there for me. I'm most hurt she didn't help me when I was depressed. She won't contact me, she won't talk about the past, I don't remember her really hugging or kissing me or telling me she loves me.... But my grandmother tells me she's hurt that I won't contact her. 

What can I do to bond with my mum? Why doesn't she love me or try to get close to me? I'm going to Australia in march for a year and I want to make up with her but I get a shaky voice and cry whenever I talk about the past. I can't talk to her without hurting, but the guilt is unbearable. Please help me!

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: Never bonded with my mum. Unbearable guilt yet she doesn't appear to care much. How can I fix this?