<human>: Basically the above. He's 20. She's 15. Her parents are fucking lunatics and don't know how to make their 15 year old child stay home, at night or just ever. They lied to her mom, saying she was babysitting for me, then left and didn't come home, YESTERDAY AFTERNOON. THIS afternoon, at almost 5, her mom finally texts me and asks do I know where her daughter is. Dude.... 

Anyway. What are my options here, short of maiming, killing, or turning in my nephew? He's being an absolute moron. Our state can charge, even if she has parental consent, and I'm not entirely sure she does. 

I already fired her, to and through her mother. I was polite and respectful, and her mother agreed with me. 

I read my nephew the riot act, again, and added for lying in my name and to my face to the spiel. 

I'm at a loss. 

Pls to halp. Thx vry much.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: My nephew is a dick-thinking moron. How do I stop him from getting on the sex offender registry without castrating him?