<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

First of all Sorry for the long read, and also if this is not the right place to post this...

My Best friend, we will call him 'J' and his girlfriend have a child together who will be 2 in January. They are breaking up and his Girlfriend, we will call 'S' is trying to use the baby against him every way she can. J is not on the birth certificate but he is 100% the father and has been taking care of her and the baby since she first got pregnant. 

Facts about J:
-His mother lives when them, she has 20 years and 2 masters degrees in childhood education
-J is NOT on the birth certificate of the baby because S WAS married and going through a divorce when the baby was born and NC law would have required her former husband to be named the father if one was named.
-J works 50+ hours a week 
-J spends most of his free time taking care of his son
-J spends 1 night a week with his co-workers at a dinner party or card game, no strip clubs or anything of that nature.

Facts about S
-Discharged from the military for trying to kill herself
-Works only 25 hours a week
-does not allow the grandmother(20yrs in child education) to watch their son unless S "allows" it

The issue now is the S is trying to use the baby every way she can against J. She is only going to allow him every other weekend with the baby and demanding max child support since she works so few hours and all her income goes to her car payment and insurance. She also is saying she will not allow the baby to be left with the grandmother and instead wants J to pay for daycare while she works, including days when J is off of work.

The question here is does my friend have a leg to stand on? Not being on the birth certificate is an issue I am assuming, but I do not know what for. can she sue him for child support if he is not on it? if he is not on it can he sue her for custody? He is going to meet with a lawyer next week, who wants a $175 consultation fee, to see what his options are.
<bot>: My friend has a crazy ex who is trying to screw him to the wall over their son. He is not on the birth certificate, what can he do?