<human>: I started working out regularly in October 2012 to tone up, although I had already lost about 25 pounds since starting college in August 2011. 

However, as luck would have it, a big reason why I wanted to tone up was because I wanted to look more attractive to men. Once, a guy told me that he thought I was beautiful enough to wear anything and look incredible, which made me think "screw all of this working out and healthy eating stuff - for the next few weeks, I'll just do whatever I want" and then go back to my working out and eating routines after my "eating vacation".

That didn't work. I ended up starting a new internship that was very sedentary yet still exhausting, so I stopped working out all together, on top of eating a lot of the same sugary foods that I'd previously given up. Now it's 3 months later and I've gained 15 pounds.

I'm trying to start getting back into the exercise habits that I had before, and cut out the sugary foods that I had successfully stopped eating in the past. But somethings changed this time - I feel like I need to do this for my own self confidence, and not for anybody else. While this might sound like a good thing, I now feel much less motivated to do get healthy, and I find myself falling into that same "just one more cookie, don't worry about it" mentality that I used to be in.

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: Lost a bunch of weight over the past two years and gained half of it back in 3 months - but I'm still not really that motivated, although I despise how I look now. Suggestions?