<human>: Can you condense the text into a few key points?

This happened like 15 minutes ago

I don't really like the taste of tap water where I live, so when I go grocery shopping I buy 5-6 gallons of purified water to drink instead. 

Halo 5 came out a few days ago so I took the week off work and went full caveman. I've eaten 5 slices of pizza a day for the last 3 days and just been camping out and playing halo. 

I started getting really lazy, too lazy. I didn't want to leave my room since it was warm and the bathroom was cold, plus I had hand sanitizer bottle and a couple empty plastic gallons. It was perfect, so i've just been doing that for a few days to minimize away-from-xbox time. 

One gallon is full of pee and is tucked away for later disposal. The other is a third full and next to my chair WHICH IS NEXT TO A HALF FULL GALLON OF WATER. I'm still looking at the screen but reach for the gallon and grab the wrong one. 

It was so freaking salty like what the hell. Thank god I was well hydrated that day and the pee didn't come out extremely concentrated. 

I hate the taste of saltwater. I that detox diet before where you live off of a gallon of water with maple syrup, lemon, and cayenne pepper, but I had to drink 16 ounces of warm salt water before it and holy god that was gross. Tasting my urine reminded me of that, then it hit me that this was not purified water and I looked in the mirror and saw my dumbass face holding a gallon of urine up to my mouth. 

I wanted to laugh at myself but I had cold pee in my mouth that I was not going to spray on the mirror or my xbox. Like a fucking champ I swallowed that shit (pee actually) and went and spat out as much of it as I could. I'm down half a bottle of mouth wash but I can still taste it on my tongue.

Medically should I be worrying about anything? I heard the "urine is sterile" thing is a myth and that its only clean until it leaves the body. Also my stomach kind of hurts but i'm thinking that's placebo.
<bot>: HALO 5 MADE ME DRINK MY PEE BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE LAZY AND NOT GET UP IT TASTES LIKE THE OCEAN DONT DO IT