<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

Hey, Throwaway Account Here (Couldn't you tell!!!??)

Got drunk, (I'm in college.) Roommate gave me a ride home from the bars, and when he dropped my buddy off, I tried to get in the front seat. When I tried to climb over, he said, "Hey, don't do that!!" And immediately stomped on the breaks.

Consequently, windshield broke on my head.

Roommate is claiming that "I was too drunk to control myself." Which could be viable because I have had one Minor in Possession that I've had under my belt.

My one friend that we have dropped off prior, we had a fight about me owing him money, more than I had thought I had owed him, so until we work it out, he may not be the best witness.

Unfortunately, I'm the ball buster in the group. I tell everyone how I'm gonna fuck they're mom and they both laugh and try to punch me. Also, I kind of get playfully homosexual to my floor mates, in the least gay way that it can possibly seen to a white straight male reddditor. (I AM NOT GAY IN THE SLIGHTEST).

In the end, with probably no one on my side, how can I avoid paying this windshield fee. Thank you reddit.
<bot>: I broke a man's windshield while he smashed the breaks, no one I know is on my side, how do I avoid paying it.