<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

No throwaway, no shame. 

A little backstory - my school has separate locker rooms for each team. My team's room is accessible to the general public because no one ever gets naked in the sport I play. After my game this Saturday, I was in the locker room with a couple of friends. I was browsing Instagram and I came across a profile called something like "shitpenissays" or something like that. It consisted of cartoon penises and little sayings. One of them said "fondle me if you love me." So, I absentmindedly began doing just that.

As I browsed, the next one said "flash me if you love me". It was cold out, so my dick was a victim of serious shrinkage then. I briefly did the requisite flash and went back to browsing. Eventually I came across another post that said "cup your balls if you are happy". I did that, looked up, and saw my friend's mom looking through a window into the locker room straight at me. I met her eyes, which caused her eyebrows to raise considerably and then she smiled.

Instead of establishing my dominance over a 50-something woman, I looked away. After texting my friend, the peeper mom's son, she thinks I'm a sex addict now. To make matters worse, at our game the next day she came up to us and sat at our table. She refused to make eye contact with me.
<bot>: was an idiot, fondled and flashed in a quasi-public place, found out about a window that I had never seen before.