<human>: Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?

I've always had an attraction to gals, but have only dated one in my life. I have dated about 10 guys, till I met my current partner 7 years ago. 

I have been having sexual dreams about women lately - but have always had romantic crushes on men. But every crush that becomes a relationship eventually turns to shit for various reasons. I've never really understood it, but I know people change! 

In the shower, the thought occurred to me...if every single one of my ex's had been a woman, I would have felt comfortable in the relationship. I wanted them all to be women! 

It dawned on me then, 8pm trying to shower after work, that I'm gay. But am I, really? I'm can't tell my partner - we would definitely break up, he's not abusive but I know he would be so hurt and it would end immediately - there would be no taking it back either - even if I went on to date a woman and realized this was not for me! 

Is it normal to think of your past ex's, and wish they'd of been the opposite gender? I even tried to get one to dress up as a chick...but then he just looked like a guy in a skirt - I wanted him to look like a lady in a skirt, but the actual result was unattractive to me. 

I can picture marrying a woman, being proud to be with a woman...but being with a guy, standing beside a guy, getting married to a guy - that all sounds really embarrassing for some reason, even though I would never think twice if it was someone else. Fuck! It doesn't seem worth it to throw 7 years away...especially if I'm wrong...share with me your stories?
<bot>: Realized I'm gay while taking a shower the other day, like a typical shower thought - now I'm not sure if I should throw away a good thing and figure out if it's true, or buckle up and shut up?