<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

This happened a few months ago but another post here triggered my memory so I thought I would share.

My boyfriend is in the army and he's gone all but 4 weeks out of the year.  This type of situation is entirely new to me and I was pretty surprised when I first found myself wanting to be in a LDR.  Anyway...  

He was doing army stuff "in the field" (I still have no idea what that means) and was having to stay up for all hours of the night.  At this point, he had been out there about a week and was sleeping anywhere from 1-4 hours a day in small intervals.  

We texted when he had time and conversation helped keep him awake when things got boring.  The fuck up happened around 5 in the morning after he'd been fighting sleep for at least 4 hours.  He started texting me that he almost fell asleep and something about how he'd like it if I helped keep him up.  

Me, not thinking because it was 4 am where I live, had the brilliant idea of texting him, "Lol.  I almost thought about texting you that I cheated on you or something."  At the time, I thought that would shock him awake and we'd have a good laugh.  However, he didn't see my clearly misplaced humor and I got the lecture of a lifetime.  

"Why would you say that?!?!  I thought I'd get a funny picture or we could sext!" was his completely understandable response.  I then spent a solid 2 hours telling him I was joking around and would rather beat myself with a sack full of feisty weasels than cheat on him.  He told a few of his friends once they woke up and they mostly (and rightfully) think I'm loonier than the Animaniacs for texting that.  I did manage to keep him awake, though.
<bot>: Brainless girlfriend is not a comedian and texts boyfriend a "joke" about cheating on him, boyfriend is a smart man and blows my shit up like a terrorist at a journalism office.