<human>: How do I explain this? Start with CVS. For non-Americans, CVS is a nationwide chain of pharmacies. They had the dubious distinction of being named the most expensive drugstore in America in 2013. They're also mildy internet-famous for their [really, really long receipts] They also have a coupon vending machine that spits out equally copious reels of paper coupons when you swipe your loyalty card. 

This is where it gets bad, I get the bright idea to repurpose these ridiculous receipts and coupons. Save the environment and save a buck, right? They're long white paper strips that come in rolls. One could be forgiven for thinking they'd make a passable toilet paper substitute in a pinch.

They worked better than expected (which is not to say well). I was hard up for cash, so why not recycle them? I'm not a savage. I used regular toilet paper for the detail work, but the receipts worked just as well for the broad strokes. 

I also began using some of the coupons as bookmarks, post-it notes, and recipe cards. After all, why not? I would bike past CVS every morning on the way to work and swipe my card. It felt oddly subversive. 

Fast forward two years, when I saw the fateful headline: [Receipts May Expose Us to High Levels of BPA] Shaken, I hopped on reddit, only to discover more bad news:

* Nasty chemical BPA found in cash register receipts at concentrations 250-1000 times the amount found in other items... and it absorbs through your skin & can't be washed off.

* Worse Than BPA? Toxic BPS Chemical Found Hiding In Receipts, Recycled Paper

But wait, it gets better:

* [Study finds link between BPA and prostate cancer](

Don't try this at home kids.

Condense the text into a few key points
<bot>: Tried to save a few bucks by wiping my ass with receipts, inadvertently dosing myself with insane quantities of BPA.