<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

My brother Paul died when he was 15. He did something stupid with some friends and fell off a tree, breaking his neck. It was a lot of pain in our family and I moved in with my uncle shortly after [I was 16] because my mother fell apart and I couldn't deal. She quit her job and my dad hired a retired nurse to keep her company. 

I [33F] didn't talk to my mom for almost a year because she was nearly comotose. She loved my brother, he was her favorite child. Since then, she has put a lot of her dreams for him on her. I remained with my uncle even when she got better because the pressure was huge. 

Because of what happened in my teen years [pregnancy scare, abusive boyfriend] and seeing how my parents fell apart when a child died, I don't want to deal with that. I was sterilized at age 27 and have been dating the same guy long term for about 5 years now. We both agree we don't want to marry, we also have an open relationship. He works hard, has his own place, and it works for us. 

Paul was a really great kid, but living under his shadow is terrible. My Mom keeps saying when I have a son/daughter I can name them Paul/Paula in honor of my brother. I told her that wouldn't happen because it would be a terrible burden to place on any child. I still have not told her about being sterilized or much about my relationship with Drey [34M]. 

I work a lot. I travel some. I have a pretty solid life plan. My Mom is getting more and more desperate as I near my mid-30s. She wants me to do what she wants. 

I guess I just don't know how to tell her kids and marriage just are not the way for me to go. I keep hoping it won't come up. But it keeps coming up. And I am lost. 

What do I say?
<bot>: I am sterilized and have not told my mom she isn't going to be a grandma. Ever. I am not sure how to tell my Mom that I am never getting married or having kids.