<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

It's been roughly 3 months of NC and initially I felt like I was gradually improving. Studying/working were hard but manageable    The whole 'loving yourself' concept is very important and I'm working on it and getting my shit back together.

During this time I knew her birthday was coming up and was committed to not contacting her and still plan to. The problem is I feel like I'm going into a decline mentally, my position was stronger initially. I find myself blaming myself for what happened although the reasons she said are obviously out of my hand (we all know the reasons are BS most of the time), maybe it's because she dumped me via messaging(she was overseas) I still have my doubts.

I can imagine this fluctuation being normal especially when Google calendar sends u an email reminding u (lol I forgot about Google calendar!) AND the fact that I already had a gift ready... I feel so pitiful....so pitiful. I gotta get out more.

Don't give me the BS "you're too old" comments which are on the rise apparently. I haven't exactly had many relationships in my life.
<bot>: Tomorrows her bday, don't plan on breaking NC, I feel like ranting, sue me......damn I'm grumpy.