<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

I'm a 20 year old female, have never been in a relationship because I feel very uncomfortable around men. I've been in denial about why I feel weird around men (attributing it to "oh I need to focus on my studies") but I really need to stop being in denial.

The truth is, I don't inherently trust men. I am afraid of men. Afraid that they're able to physically hurt me or others, afraid they're going to physically force me to do stuff I don't want to do, afraid they're going to cheat. Whenever anything remotely resembling sexual tension comes up from a guy, I get the fuck out. I feel degraded. I feel like they only think of me as a sex object, not as an actual human. It scares me that they're so good at pretending to be good loving human beings when in less than a second, they can morph into a hateful person who screams obscenities or is physically violent. The one guy I "dated", I didn't even let him kiss me. 

I grew up with an emotionally abusive older brother and dad and probably have issues but I want to know what steps I can take to resolve this without going to therapy. Frankly, it's humiliating going to therapy trying to explain this (how would I even begin to start?) and I'm afraid it's going to trigger a mental breakdown and I need to focus on my classes.

Thanks for listening.
<bot>: I'm a 20 year old female, have been in 0 relationships, but am scared of men and feel degraded, and want to fix this without going to therapy.