<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

Hello you beautiful *insert stricken word: trolls* people!
This is my first reddit post.
I have a best friend from childhood that always seems to bear the brunt of what-the-fuck-happened with me.
We shall call him B.
With that in mind, one night in drunken exhilaration B challenged me to an epic slap-bet. I won 3 Slaps through beer pong that night.
Since then he challenges me every chance he gets wanting an opportunity to win some back or win some of his own.

So far today's count is at 5. 
I told him that I had reserved a couple slaps for the near future, and I have listed them below. 

1. Wedding Toast *as his bestman
2. First Baby *in regards to the sex of the baby, B will be spanked or slapped
3. His Death Bed *while seemingly insensitive, we figured it was the manliest way to go out as bros
4. ?
5. ?

Any suggestions?
<bot>: Continuously winning slap-bets, saved slaps for crucial moments, need ideas for every-day slappage.