<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

TIFU by buying my 8 year old son some slime. 

So, my son has been asking for slime for about a month. I promised him that I would buy him slime if he brought home 10 happy faces on two of his weekly retorts from school. 

Today he brought the tenth happy face, and as promised, I took him to the toy store and bought the slime for him. 

Back track three hours:

Wife is getting her hair done at the salon.  $270.00 later, she arrives at home looking like a super model and ready to go out into the town for some dinner and clubbing with yours truly.  

Fast Forward to later:

She's sitting on our bed, meticulously applying her makeup when our son walks up to her, and dumps about a quart of blue slime on $270.00 worth of beautifully sculpted hair. He thought it would be funny. 

Now, I'm an atheist and I don't believe in Satan, but I think I saw him tonight in the eyes of my lovely wife's eyes. 

I immediately jumped on Google for a worthy solution, and there was none. She had to shower with 300° water to melt the slime.  Her hair that just a few minutes earlier looked like something out of a runway in Paris, now looked like the matted fur of a feral cocker spaniel that traveled through a war zone looking for a left over chicken bone. 

Needless to say, we're not going out and I'm not getting any. Plus, $270.00 went down the drain.
<bot>: bought slime for son, he dumped it on wife's $270.00 hair. I didn't get sex or clubbing.