<human>: Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?

So I was chatting over Facebook to my awesome gf of 11 months, and right when I am telling her I'm hopping off to go to bed, I get sent a message, the following being part of it.

"Even to the great lover of pretty dark haired women and breakfast food if he wasn't fictional I'm sorry but I would make it my life's journey to suck his dick his balls prob have a mustache"

It seemed like a really inappropriate thing to say, and my heart just sort of sank reading it. I highly doubt she'd ever cheat on me, and we joke sometimes about having a celebrity pass list, but all I can think about right now is her lips wrapped around Ron Swansons cock. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever written but I guess it doesn't matter whose dick it is... It also makes me feel inadequate, as she constantly comments on how sex guys beards are, full well knowing that my hair line is confined to a tiny mustache and a neckbeard, and that im self conscious about it. So, am I being silly in all this?
<bot>: gf talked about how much she wanted to suck Ron Swansons mustachioed cock. Made me feel like shit.