<human>: I've been dating my boyfriend going on about four years now, and he is my first real boyfriend. The relationship is great: we go out all the time, laugh, have mind blowing sex on a regular basis, he treats me great. I lost my virginity to him, he lost his to me and I have never dated anyone else for this long. The more serious we get, the more insecure I get. As a whole, the relationship has made me more of a confident person: he compliments me and makes me feel good about myself, but I have a crippling fear that I will eventually unintentionally push him away. 

I have been struggling with depression and self esteem problems for most of my life and although I feel as if I have been keeping it at bay recently, sometimes I am scared that my boyfriend is falling out of love with me, or will somewhere in the near future. I know the problem lies with me, though - he is a perfect boyfriend, and I can't think of anything that he does wrong. Tiny things manifest themselves in my mind as huge, threatening problems. For example: I have no problem with him watching porn, realise that it's normal and all of that, but sometimes I get a little afraid that he watches/follows specific cam4 girls and this spirals out of control and I eventually assume he's cheating on me with girls on the internet. No matter how much I tell myself I'm being completely irrational, I somehow manage to lose sleep over it. I'm also afraid of talking to him about any of this because I'm afraid he'll think I don't trust him or something.

I really don't know what I'm asking here, I just need help with accepting the fact that someone really actually loves me, and not push him away because of silly scenarios I make up in my head. How do I do it without creating a conflict that doesn't need to be there? How do I actually take "I love you"'s to heart?

Provide a brief overview of the text.
<bot>: Afraid my boyfriend will leave me or cheat on me for no reason all. Need help on dealing with my thoughts and convincing myself that he really does love me.