<human>: So, today was my second day of intensive hockey training. 3 hours straight on the ice. Since it's my first time playing for a couple of months, I feel sore as hell. When we finished up, I went home, had a nice bath and put some tiger balm on my sore muscles. Bad idea.

My groin was killing me. In the car on the way back, I could barely lift them. (Again, I'm athletic, just really out of condition for intensive play right now, I never get THIS sore). I rub some tiger balm down the inside of my legs. Somehow I get some underneath my balls. I don't notice anything for a while, but a few minutes later, an excruciating pain comes in like a punch between the eyes. I reach down there to see what's wrong and end up with more of the shit under my nuts.

To make a rather long story short, they're still in a fiery yet somehow freezing state of extreme pain.

Reddit, Today, I Fucked Up.

Can you condense the text into three sentences or less?
<bot>: Had sore hamstrings. Go for the tiger balm. Get some in the wrong place. Pain. PAIN. PAAAIIIN.