<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

Not only did this happen today, but it happened about 5 minutes ago. I think my gf is still freaking out, I gave her a stuffed sheep and wine so hopefully she'll make it through.

We just finished supper and she's watching some kind of physiotherapy videos on her computer, and I'm sitting on mine editing some video. To be courteous, I give her my over-ear headphones to in order to provide a Kruzat free environment for her education needs. 

About 5 minutes later she throws off the headphones and she screams at me  "A FUCKING BUG JUST WENT INTO MY EAR" And she points and floor. So I go down to take a look, and immediately crush the living fuck out of the creature.

Sitting on the chair, she had no idea what creature had just crawled into her ear. Until I was in the process of dissembling the headphones and flipping the ear hole covers and she asked what I was doing. All I said was "Ensuring the headphones don't have anymore spider bits in them" 

She immediately freaked out as she realized that a spider had just crawled from my headphones into her ear. I'm also freaking out because I'm 90% sure that I've felt that motherfucker tickling my ears before.
<bot>: Just let my gf's ear hole get molested by a headphone spider. Contemplating putting the headphones into a fire tornado.