<human>: I recently caught myself looking at something that I've never considered looking at. I'm going to be very vague, but it was a kind of porn that I normally despise, and the part of the community of people who look at it in lust.

Note: this isn't CP, rape, or any of the sorts, this is just weird, internet fantasy fetish stuff. 

For almost 4 years, I've heard, or saw forum discussions, about this group of people who look at this sort of thing in confusion, until I saw it for myself for the first time a week after I heard about it. I was hesitant, I didn't exactly know how bad it would be to look at it, hesitation finally caved in and I looked it up. It was by far the most disgusting thing I had ever seen, and I never looked at it again.

4 years later, I found myself in lust at what I used to think was disgusting and crude, it spooked me seeing myself in lust at what I was seeing. For the past week, I've been contemplating on whether or not to post this, mostly because I don't think it'll help me, and I'm already insecure as is.

But over the course of these 4 years, I've developed a sense of respect, being okay or reasonable with the things people look at. It doesn't bother me that people look at it, it bothers me that I look at it, especially in lust, and for what it is.

Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?
<bot>: I looked at weird porn, hated it, 4 years later, beatin off to it, now I'm scared for my sexuality.