<human>: Well…what can I say…TIFU…
This happened to me this morning so I can actually say TIFU...
So I get on the bus this morning and I couldn't believe my luck that not only there is a seat but two seats next to each other right at the back of the bus. I make the mistake of deciding to walk to the back of the bus. As I always do I give the seat a quick look just to make sure I ain't sitting down on anything "nasty" Passed the sight test (the smell test is sadly temporarily unavailable due to my blocked nose) Being pretty happy about sitting down after spending a quarter of an hour in the cold, I fail to notice the guy in the seat behind me look up from his tablet and frantically point at the seat. I plant myself on the chair and notice that it is wet, I do not know the origin of this wetness and it couldn't have been me so before I knew it I moved into the neighbouring seat and proceeded to rub myself against it with the aim of removing any trace of the liquid from my trousers (this must have looked pretty bad to my fellow passengers) Looking back on it best case scenario someone spilt their water bottle there.
Worst case scenario: an AIDS positive hobo had some "fun time" with himself there, leaving thousands of his sons right on the seat.

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: ignored all the warning signals and involuntarily took a bath in a mystery liquid on a bus seat and becoming just another statistic, the peeved public transport user. Trousers are going to the wash