<human>: Ive had a few glasses of wine already do please excuse the jumps in my story. My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost 4 years and were madly madly in love - but both stubborn, self conscious, jealous, and extremely hot headed. Our arguments were horrible, which ultimately ended our relationship. He was my best friend and the only person besides my brother that i was truly 100% myself around. I can now mention that we were an interracial couple (him being black, and me being from a small European country) my parents would not allow me to marry someone outside of my culture or religion unless I basically severed ties with them and put their name to shame. This was also a major factor that caused me to leave because I felt like it was hopeless and we would never be able to marry. 
Soon after we broke up I met a guy (from my country) a family friend, someone our entire community looked up to, charming cuts young man. We hit it off right away and began dating less than a month after my breakup. 9 months in, and I now realize he doesn't know a thing about me. I am not my true self around him, I am not comfortable, I'm not ME. I can't just leave because our families are so connected, everyone is constantly together and just waiting for us to get married. I saw my ex the other day, and without me even saying anything he knew I was not happy, he knew exactly how I felt without me even mentioning anything. I miss my ex and what we shared. I truly believe he is my soulmate. If I leave my current bf I will forever be shunned from my family and my culture, religion and our community which I do not want. U l love my culture and my roots, but i believe this man is my other half. If I don't leave ill end up marrying a man whom I will always compare my ex with. I'm so lost and don't know what to do.

Can you succinctly summarize the text in 1-3 sentences?
<bot>: realized that I'm still in love with ex after seeing him, but I'm in a relationship now & if I leave I will disappoint my entire family, culture and religion.