<human>: I've been with my boyfriend since college started and I got with him right after breaking up with someone else. I didn't really have anytime to grow independently. I'm the kind of person who just puts everything into a relationship. I invest all my free time and I just do whatever I can to make that person happy. However, I came on too strong and it caused distance between us in all aspects of our relationship. 

Now that it's summer we've spent time apart and I sort of realized how pathetic I constantly feel in our relationship. And most of it is on me for constantly trying to do things for him and being the "perfect" girlfriend and him not appreciating it. I'm in a relationship with a person that starts to see things like talking, affection, and other things as a chore. I'm blaming it on the fact that I just followed him around like a lost puppy and constantly nagging about relationship stuff. And I assumed, just like some of you might, that he was trying to break up so I tried ending things but he wanted to work it out. Go figure. 

So what I'm trying to do is change the dynamic. I want to be more independent and I especially want to stop having relationship talks because nothing is working. Basically I'll go from the kind of girlfriend that is constantly trying to entertain him and do everything for him to make him happy to someone that has more of her own life and is less desperate to make him happy. But I don't want to lose him. Previously when I was dealing with some emotional stuff I stopped investing in our relationship and he was pretty unhappy with it. But he's pretty unhappy with me fussing over him as well. 

Have any of you been able to change that drastically in a relationship for the better? Am I changing too much of I am for him or is this a big self-improvement?

I would talk to him about this but like I said I'm tired of having "relationship talks".

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: I was a clingy dependent girlfriend and want to change that completely. Is it possible to change and is it right?