<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

Today I woke up and the first joint of my big toe was absolutely fucking killing me. I could hardly walk to my early class this morning it was so bad. I actually felt bad walking behind a woman with a severe limp with my little tiny pathetic limp because it looked like I was making fun of her.

Anyway, I got back home from class and my roommate and I were sitting in the common room doing homework when I just offhandedly complained about my toe hurting. He looked surprised and said something along the lines of "My fucking feet hurt every morning in that exact same place. Do we have some disease that makes your feet hurt?"

So I looked up diseases that make your feet hurt and the first result is [gout] I went to the wiki page and looked up its causes.

Now, I'll pause here to say that me and my roommate are in extremely good shape. We do high level Olympic lifts almost everyday and do enough cardio that we're not totally winded after walking to class. That being said, our diet consists of lots of McDonald's (often cheaper than groceries), alcohol (we're in college, I mean, come on) and we live close to a fairly cheap all you can eat sushi place, so we eat a shitton of fish. 

Well, turns out those three dietary choices, along with our proclivity to not eat any fruit, vegetables, or drink any dairy, made us immediately realize that we are experiencing both the symptoms and the causes of gout.

Me and my roommate fucking have gout.
<bot>: My roommate and I, two abnormally fit youths in the prime of our lives, have managed to eat ourselves into a gout induced hell from which we do not have the dietary willpower to escape.