<human>: I can't blame him, really. I've been a horrible person. He's tried to call it off with me 3 times, but we both cool off and the relationship is a lot better for the period of time after that. We're communicating, he's getting what he wants and needs without feeling smothered, I don't feel like he's avoiding me.

One of these times was related to him being in a kind of romantic relationship with another girl. I guess this is truly a sign we should call it off. I don't know how really. I hate the idea that he's only with me so that I don't off myself. I'm not going to do it... I called an ambulance the last time I thought I was going to kill myself. Isn't that a sign I'm not really going to do it? That it'll be okay if he goes, like he wants? We're both young anyway. And he's depressed too. (I suppose misery loves company.)

Part of me might be holding on too because I know I'll want to retreat from everything right now if I do this. But I can't. I've already fucked up so much in my life. He doesn't need to be with me. He especially doesn't need to be with me because he feels that he must or I'll die.

Today he said that he wishes a lot of things about me were different, and he only seemed conflicted on staying to pacify me or looking for someone new... I don't want him to pacify me. I don't want to hold him back. I know I'm ranting but it hurts.

Can you give me a shortened version of the text?
<bot>: I'm mentally ill, how do I break up with my boyfriend who is only staying with me so that I don't off myself?