<human>: We've been together for exactly 1 year. We were magical, beautiful, everything I wanted. But then things took a turn and stopped being great. It became a toxic relationship, where we both just poisoned each other and made each other sad. I took the step and broke it off with her, sending us both into a deep hole of sadness and self destruction. 

I don't know what to do with myself now. I'm absolutely destroyed. This was the one girl I thought would be the one for me, and somehow I ruined it. Adding to that I slept with someone else after we broke up. Some meaningless sex that just made me feel worse. Now all I have left is memories and guilt. I don't know if she will ever forgive me. I wouldn't.

I'm keeping NC for now but on the inside I am completely broken. What do I do now? I love her so much but everything got screwed up. I need to know if it can be fixed? Or is it hopeless?

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: Broke up with my gf but I still want her in my life. She is everything to me. Can this be reversed?