<human>: So I live in SoCal, im a little hungover and jammin out to chance the rapper while takin my dog for a walk in the hills. The whole time im just looking down at the trail to make sure i dont trip. Im wearing a snapback forwards so it limits my view in front of me while im looking down.

As i am about to put my foot down i see this big ass stick with a pretty sick pattern on it. I look a little closer and my face turns to O_O. It was a sleeping rattlesnake. Being the dumbass i am i yelled HOOOOLY SHIT out of adrenaline, pretty sure anyone that was on the trail in a half mile radius heard me. The thing curls up, rattles it nasty ass tail and hisses louder than a sprinkler does when it first turns on. I start bookin it, but i dont put my back to it cuz if that shit starts chasing me we gonna have some problems. Thank you jesus buddha or whoever the fuck decided i needed to live today. It didnt move cuz it was just trying to catch the last rays of the sun for the day. 

The rest of the walk my dog was lookin at every single twig there was to make sure it wasnt a snake.  She was flippin shit too. Here i am sitting on my couch thankful to be okay with my feet still telling me i need to run. That thing was atleast 5 feet long.

Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell
<bot>: shit went 0 to 100 real quick when i didnt watch my step and almost stepped on the biggest rattler i have ever seen in my life