<human>: im not a native english speaker, so sorry for any bad grammatics

hey, im 18 years old and i dont have any friends at the moment, when i had friends, they would slowly disappear/ignore me. the reason behind this is simplay that im an attention seeking arrogant bad person. i was raised from my mother (no dad) until i was 11, then my mom gave me in a children´s home where i am still living. my mom never gave me real attention and was a bad person, i think thats the reason why i am so attention seeking and im constantly buying new stuff so that i feel satisfied (i never got something on my birthday/christmas). for example, im playing a rhytm game named osu! and evertime i achieve something im proud of im linking it EVERYWHERE and im always trying to get people to like me (just check my post history and you will see what i meant) however im not insecure about my looks, i had some girlfriends and could have a relationship if i wanted one right now, the thing is just that i cant handle relationships, i cant show my emotions as much as i want, thats always pretty hard for me. the other thing is that i am pretty arrogant (is this the right word) people alwas say that im not a one upper, but im making the impression that i was better then them, that i can everything, even when im not saying stuff like this i make the impression of it. I dont know what to do about these things, i would like to change myself and may recover a old friendship but i dont know where to start and how to start. i dont know if that matters but, even though that i cant really show my emotions or even have them (im not sad when someone dies etc) i am hyper emtionally when it comes to cats, i once bursted out into tears while i was at schooö because i saw a injured cat out of the window i cant really tell why, its just that these animals are so important to me.

im really thankfull for any tips or help and im sorry for this bad typed text its also bad formatted but i just wrote what i thought.

Give me a shortened version of the text
<bot>: im unemotional (not when it comes to cats) arrogant attention seeking and unsure about myself, how do i change stuff?