<human>: Can you provide a brief overview of the text?

So this happened a few months ago.
I was casually messaging my GF about her day whilst she was at work, from my phone using FB messenger whilst I was walking into town. I stopped by an atm to get a few quid out. Now because of the way I held my phone, and because I didn't put it into lock screen, my fingers came into contact with the touchscreen by accident and resulted in selecting the most recently taken picture, which thanks to Mr Zuckerberg gets sent straight away, without a confirmation screen, this pic just so happened to be a picture of my glorious morning wood (it looked particularly impressive that morning so I thought I'd save it for future use). 
As a result I had to feign being horny, and pretend it was 100% deliberate, this is bloody hard I tell you! especially when she was ranting about her co-workers at the time! 
I got away with it in the end, but I now make sure that I double check that I've locked the screen when I'm not messaging and quit FB messenger after I've finished replying.
<bot>: accidentally sent a pic of my raging man meat to my GF in an inappropriate time because of Mark Fuckerberg, had to pretend I was horny asf to play it off, now paranoid every time I use FB messenger