<human>: Can you provide a brief rundown of the text in within 3 sentences?

Throughout our relationship, we've been great, even best friends. But I never felt like we truly fitted together. He is my first, so I didn't know exactly what I wanted out of a relationship (I still don't entirely know that to be honest). Right now we are long distance and have been for the whole summer, and I'm increasingly having a feeling of dread at having to touch or have sex with him when we see each other again. I honestly think that at this point in my life, I am not fit to be in a relationship at all due to my issues with anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. I feel like I should break up with him and try being single for some time and work on my issues.
Thing is, we've broken up a lot of times during our relationship, and gotten back together quickly after because we missed talking to each other. I've also sort of initiated a break up once (I implied at it, he said the words), and immediately after that felt crippling regret and a lot of grief, suddenly thinking I'd never ever talk to him again and felt a great sense of loss. 
I was trying to postpone the possible break up because I don't want to do it through Skype chat or whatever, but we've been getting into fights constantly and I just feel tired and scared of seeing him irl and not being able to go through with it because I really care about him despite our differences and fights. 
Right now I'm feeling like breaking up and walking away is an impossible task and I really cannot understand how some people do it at all, maybe I like self-discipline or something :'D 
There also might be a possibility of me being very immature due to my inexperience and finicky in a "the grass is always greener on the other side" kind of thinking, because the moment I break up with him suddenly I get some of that attraction I felt back. I don't even understand my reactions. I really need help :(
<bot>: I don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend because we failed to remain broken up a lot of times in the past and I'm not sure what I want