<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

hi everyone- 
i recently got out of (well, didn't exactly get out) a "relationship". I use quotes because it was never called that, but she lives in a different country and i traveled to see her. we were very much in love, but she had a long term thing with an ex of 5 years before i came  into the picture and she "needed some time to be free". so i'm giving it to her, but i cannot help but panic every once in awhile as we have no plans to see each other in the future and i know she is seeing other people.

i have no problem with this, really. but now, i'm noticing and have been told by close friends that i'm only really happy when i'm in a relationship. and i understand that the best thing i can do to preserve that love and have it in the future, maybe, is to let everything go and just enjoy my life. but i can't. i'm racked by bad self esteem, doubt, fear of failure: i go look at her various social media presences and end up feeling a large pit in my stomach. what do i do? what's going on here?
<bot>: i'm only happy when i know a woman is in love with me, i become clingy and end up pushing them away. why?