<human>: I live with my father and stepmother full time. Have been for 2 years. I went no contact with my mother over 6 months ago.

High school graduation is rapidly approaching and I just realized my mother wouldn't be there.

It's especially important because I struggled really really hard throughout school. My mother helped me and put a lot of energy into making sure I did well.

I feel guilty. I can't imagine not seeing my kid graduate. I would feel awful. I don't like her and don't want to see her but I wouldn't wish that kind of emotional pain upon someone.

I don't know what to do. I'm caught between my conviction and my guilt.

Summarize the given text in a few sentences.
<bot>: Highschool graduation is coming and I'm NC with my mother. Her not seeing me graduate would kill her (figuratively) and I feel guilty.