<human>: I was thoroughly miserable throughout my teenage years, for several reasons. My parents are not great communicators or demonstrators of affection, so the question of 'why were you so unhappy?' didn't actually arise until I was 22. I consider it to be one of the most difficult moments of my life, when I decided to share with mother that I had struggled with feelings for other girls.

I waited until I could see her in person, as we don't live in the same city. It was the second to last day of my trip home when I finally somehow gathered the courage to sit down with her and say it. She seemed shocked into silence. There was very little discussion. But as I was soon to find out she had plenty of opinion on the subject. Later I found a list on my pillow of all the ways she rationalised that this could have happened to me and how we could treat it.

I had expected her to be the 'we love you for who you are' type, but boy was I wrong. I 'needed to be fixed.' We had a massive argument that day. I left. And then we never spoke of it again.

5 years later, I'm now 27 and visiting home. My mother just gave me a folder of paperwork relating to me that needed to be sorted through. And I found... the notes she made. This feels like a fresh wound again.

I envy the relationship other women have with their mothers. While we weren't particularly close before the incident, now I actively dislike going home and being physically close to her. I feel like the damage is irreparable. Would appreciate advice.

Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?
<bot>: Just rediscovered notes my mother made on 'fixing' my gayness 5 years ago. Relationship is still broken, how can we move on?