<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

(Obvious throwaway account) I use my actual reddit often and all my friends/boyfriend know the name. 

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half and am completely in love with him. We've talked about wanting to get married one day in the ideal setting but we're still young and in no rush. Anyways about 4 months ago I knew I was late but I was back home visiting and we decided to wait to take the test. When I was back in town I went to his house but then I thought I got my period but it was different then usual and then I had extreme pain for a few hours. (At the time I thought I was just having a really bad period) Later that night I was home by myself and passed something (wont get into those details) and knew.. went to the doctors and they said they it was most likely a very early pregnancy. 

For the most part hes been very supportive and he has told me that it hurts him that it happened and that put us in that situation, etc. But he always ends up talking about how it never had a chance and wasn't my fault but I feel like it was. I had started birth control a month before and we thought that we we're safe. I also drank a bit once. 

I know that having a baby wouldn't of been good for us and abortion would of been a realistic option (and harder than this outcome) but I still feel responsible and often get extremely upset about it, even sometimes having nightmares. I feel like he thinks just because it didn't necessarily have a huge chance of survival in anyway helps me cope with everything. 

If anyone can relate to me/ lend advice in anyway I would really appreciate it.
<bot>: I had a miscarriage about 4 months ago (didn't know for sure I was pregnant previous to the miscarriage) I don't know how to get boyfriend to understand my emotional struggle.