<human>: Give me the gist of the text in a nutshell

I live in a dorm of 3 girls. I come home late, go straight to shower and was about to go to bed when I hear someone getting sick from within our suite. I go to the living room and I find some RANDOM ASS MAN throwing up all over our chair and our living room floor. I freaked the fuck out. I called the RA but he didn't respond. I ended up getting some guy friends to get him to leave... and ended up having to clean up his friday night fuckup... his one-shot-too-many... I was flipping quite an amount of shit. He did leave his keys though, and I seriously considered throwing it out the window but was stopped by my more rational friends. 

Needless to say, we are NEVER leaving our door unlocked again.
<bot>: Random ass dude came into our dorm and threw up on our floor. I had to clean it up. Want to slap bitch so hard. SO HARD.