<human>: This actually happened yesterday but I had to wait till now to post because of shit related content. 

Anyway I recently took to volunteering in a charity shop to get some work experience over the summer. The night before my first day I decided to take some Hayfever Tablets I didn't want to get snot all over the place and the pollen counts was pretty high so I took three.

 Unbeknownst to me my dad had removed the hay fever tablets from their packaging an inserted some laxatives he purchased for a stomach condition, nothing malicious he's just kind of an idiot. So there I was about to start my new life as a volunteer. 
accidentally dosed up on laxatives.

I enter the store and begin my training and then nothing happens I go an entire day without shitting myself. This had all the makings of comedic gold I could have shit myself while carrying a handful of trashy romance novels down stairs but I didn't. I never really do anything and if I did slip in my own shit and destroy an expensive vase it would be a hell of a story to tell the grand kids.

Can you condense the text into a few key points?
<bot>: I was almost guaranteed to shit myself but somehow like John Cena I overcame the odds and managed not too and then was a bit upset I don't have a better story.