<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

This happened last night. We had just moved in to our first home yesterday, and after a long weekend we finally got to just relax in our living room for the first time. At about 10:00pm my wife got a bit restless and wanted to go for a walk. We left our phones and keys at home because I just wasn't worried about anything in this neighborhood. 

As it turns out, we have one of those fancy door knobs on the front door. When it locks, it will let you open the door from the inside but the door knob stays locked. I am only used to two types of door knobs, those that won't open unless you unlock them, or those that will automatically unlock if you open it from the inside. So we get back and I try to open the door and it won't open. We walk around the house hoping against hope that there's an open window, which of course there isn't. The back door (sliding glass) is locked with a door stop in the trench, and our garage door, which is not currently working was bolted shut. 

The reality of the situation starts to set in that..we have only a few options. Wake up a neighbor on our first day moved in and ask to use a phone to call a locksmith, walk about a mile to the gas station to borrow a phone and call a relative so they can call a locksmith and save us some embarrassment, or break a window on the house we just moved into. We figured replacing a small window would be cheaper than a locksmith.

Still in denial, we went back to the front door to see if I could twist the knob hard enough to force it open (lol). Not happening. Then my wife walks over to our security sign in the yard, picks it up, and uses it to pop open the door like you would with a credit card. Completely dumbfounded, the irony was lost to me until my wife pointed out that we broke into our house with our home security sign.
<bot>: I locked my wife and I outside and we seriously considered breaking a window until my wife popped open our front door with our home security sign.