<human>: Condense the text into a few key points

Over the past few years I've realized that in relationships I tend to read too much into things my SO has either said or done, thinking that they really don't love/care about me and are seeing someone else on the side. 

This is something I've carried with me through almost every relationship since my first in high school. Yes, I was cheated on by someone I thought wouldn't and it has had deep impact on how I function in relationships. 

My current girlfriend (23f) of almost a year is very understanding about it but I can tell it's frustrating her and she's getting tired. I totally understand if she can't handle it. Though it would break my heart, I know that she can't continue doing this for much longer. It's just not fair to her. 

My thing is that to address my issues I need the triggers of being in a relationship. In the past I've always blamed my significant others for my break-ups "Oh, she's crazy..." or "She was probably cheating on me anyway" but the past few years I've realized that, though I've had issues with past SO's, the break-ups were almost always due to me not carrying enough trust, accusing and arguments.

I understand that this does not paint me out to be a decent person. And that's what I've been struggling with. It's a cycle of not trusting, arguments, me feeling like shit for accusing, feelings of worthlessness, then back to square one. I realize how shitty this is, not only to the person I'm with but I've hurt myself a few times with the intention of putting an end to it. 

I'm at my wit's end and really don't know what to do. I'm seeing a therapist now but it's going really slow and I need some suggestions from people that have lived it, are living it or also need help. I know this cycle is toxic and I don't want this to be my life, or the life for the person that I care about.
<bot>: 25m 23f ~1 year relationship.  I get severe anxiety and depression but only when in a relationship which will lead to fights, lack of trust and all sorts of miscommunication. I don't want to be like this anymore