<human>: Could you distill the essence of the text into 1-3 sentences?

I'm a freshmen in college and I don't feel like I'm adjusting well to this stage of life.

I'm on academic probation from getting a 1.33 last semester (failed a 4 credit math class, got a D in a 3 credit health class) and I need a 2.0 to not get kicked out of my university for two years. Academics is the easy part.

I've also been suffering some depression for the past couple years, and suffer from an extremely low self-esteem. For every positive thought I have, there's usually a million negative ones. 

I'm frustrated that I can't find a relationship. I'd love to have a woman by my side that can tell me that I'm actually doing things right (while helping her out with her problems). I just recently failed to have a relationship with a girl from back home (45 mins). She chose some douche bag over me.

I can't eat healthy for my life. I'm winding up eating the shit in the dining hall, or pizza, along with gallons of caffeine. I have little to no time to cook for myself. I also hate cooking for myself. If I'm making food, I want to share it with people (see relationship issue). 

I haven't started drinking or smoking. It seems like the booze or the pot just might fuck everything up more for me. I'm not against it, I just don't think it would be the best thing for me right now.

My good friends always tell me that "I look at the long term too much." For example, I have a math midterm in 2 hours that I've done zero studying for and I'm on reddit trying to figure out my life.
<bot>: I'm a college freshmen that feels like I'm drowning and can't be a productive member of society later in life, just because I'm fucking up on my first year. Advice?