<human>: Can you give me the gist of the text in a nutshell?

My mom and I have never gotten along. I was her first child, and I was subject to a lot of verbal abuse, minor physical abuse, and constant manipulation etc while growing up. I was beaten before I was big enough to defend myself, told what a terrible ungrateful person I was on a regular basis, that I was a mistake etc... You get the picture. When I moved out several years ago I limited my contact with her to letters or emails. After a couple of years it seemed like she may have overcome a lot of her issues with me so I reestablished contact. This led to one of her worst episodes and me cutting off communication with her completely. I have no contact with her at this point though she hopes to reestablish our relationship in the future.

I am very close with my younger siblings, and will spend time with them when I can. I feel very protective of them and try to reaffirm their worth, and that they are loved etc. because I believe not having that knowledge while growing up has scarred me to this day. I was very insecure growing up. I had a couple of girlfriends, but they were usually just as broken as I was and they were not happy relationships. I also faced many brutal rejections from women over the years, many of which I believe were a direct result of my insecurities and self sabotage. 

I've attended therapy for a couple of years, read all the self improvement books I can get my hands on, and had some very close friends (cousins actually), that have helped me in my attempts to rebuild myself. I dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time but believe I am a capable, confident person at this point. Unfortunately, I still have extreme trust issues, especially with women. I would like to have that closeness and trust in a real relationship, but I feel like I'm the one preventing it from happening, and I don't know how to change it. I have no real desire to go out and meet or approach women because my life experience has been so negative in that regard, my parents relationship being a big factor. How do you learn to trust and accept love?
<bot>: An abusive mother and predominantly negative experiences with dating have resulted in my distorted view of women. How can I overcome my history and introverted nature to approach people and experience trust and closeness in a relationship?