<human>: Give me a shortened version of the text

This fuck up happened two days ago. My SO has a cyst on his back, so I help drain it and put on a warm compress. At first only thin yellow puss slowly comes out, but then I squeeze further out and BAM! An eruption of puss, bacteria and white blood cells shoot up INTO MY EYE! After screaming and groaning I hop in the shower to wash my eye out. At this point everything seems ok. I went back to popping the cyst (it shot up again and hit my cheek.... didn't have an appetite that night). Drained, bandaged and good to go. 

The next day I notice two small cysts on my bottom eyelid,  with a little itch where the gunk had been. I go about my work as normal, and stop by the university pharmacy (low prices) to pick up eyedrops to flush out my left eye. I walk up to the counter and ask if they have eye wash. They don't. I say to the nicely groomed, young female pharmacist, "Can I wash my eyes with eyedrops? Some awful bodily fluids got in my eye! It was terrible!" She says yes, and doesn't inquire to ask about the fluids, but instead cringes for a second before turning away. 

I left in a hurry. I got home and told my SO, and he said she obviously thought I was talking about jizz.
<bot>: Got cyst juice in my eye, cysts form. Told pharma lady that some gross fluids got in my eye. She thought it was man juice.