<human>: Happened just now. It's around 3 am, and I'm doing uni work for a deadline I'm unlikely to make. Just when I hit the lowest point of my night with a terrible mix of despair and stress, I look around my room. I'm still not sure if I'm happy or not about that decision, because what I saw was the mother fucking queen of all centipedes crawling from underneath my bed and coming at me with an alarming speed. Now I'm usually not too terrified of insects, but this fucker was absolutely massive, so my sleep deprived brain immediately kicks into fight or flight mode. I grab the nearest cup, hoping it's big enough and trap the beast underneath. 

So now I'm considering my options. There's no way I'm killing this thing because, again, the fucker is huge. I'm pretty sure I'd throw up if it made a crunching noise and there'd be a mess. So out of the window he goes. There's one problem with that. In front of my only window is a huge desk, and because I'm short I can't reach it without some acrobatics. I hop on the desk and open the window, slide a sheet of paper under the cup (leaving a smear that looks like one or more centipede legs) and start climbing the desk again. However, during this process my sheet of paper slips a little bit. At this point, I'm with one leg on my desk trying to not knock over a lamp, one dangling in the air, one hand holding the paper, and one holding the cup. I watch in horror as the monster centipede sees its chance and crawls out onto my arm, and one full body flail later I smash my ribs into my desk while I hear the sound of something breaking on the pavement outside. The centipede is no longer on my arm, and I don't see it, but I keep feeling itches everywhere and dear god I hope it went with the cup.

Provide a brief overview of the text.
<bot>: Found a massive centipede, tried to throw it out of my window, body slammed my desk, lost a brave cup in the process, centipede may or may not still be here.