november 10, 2016 




snapchat, the final evolutionary stage before society gives up on sentences altogether and we start communicating in a series of emotive grunts, has seen a steep fall in share prices after proper adults figure out how to use the application successfully. observers have described the phenomenon, <u+2018>abnormal<u+2019>, <u+2018>chilling<u+2019> and <u+2018>like watching a dog doing the hoovering <u+2013> not something that should be in a sane world.<u+2019> 




the photographic bants-platform first believed adult use of snapchat was an anomaly caused by over-protective parents rooting through their teenager<u+2019>s belongings in search for evidence of pre-marital sex and <u+2018>the reefer<u+2019>. however, pattern analysis of messages suggests the missives were sent intentionally as part of a deliberate campaign to be seen as, <u+2018>not hurtling inexorably towards the grave<u+2019>. company bosses are reported to be, <u+2018>gutted<u+2019>. 




<u+2018>it<u+2019>s a death knell<u+2019> said ceo michaela hodgkinson. <u+2018>this will just about wipe out our user base. and we tried so hard. we made it so counter-intuitive to people who didn<u+2019>t grow up with access to enough pixilated tits and ass to wrap multiple times round the milky way like an erotic flesh sausage. god, i wish it were the good old days, when adults treated innovation with the sort of suspicion usually reserved for men called <u+2018>mohammed<u+2019> walking into a small town texan airport.<u+2019> 




<u+2018>it is a well-known fact that adolescents instinctively recoil from in shame, disgust and loathing to anything enjoyed by the over 30<u+2019>s,<u+2019> explained youth-guru samuel cook. <u+2018>look at michael bolton. once upon a time, the mere herbal-essence-esque swoosh of his flowing easy-listening locks could obliterate juvenile knickers like the oncoming of a biblical flood; now, i<u+2019>ve seen a teenager to projectile vomit the words, <u+2018>cock-nugget<u+2019> just by hearing the opening bars to <u+2018>when a man loves a woman<u+2019>. 




experts suggest that teenagers<u+2019> influence over what is cool acts as compensation for a future without the possibility of jobs, savings, or affordable housing, at least until their parents pop their clogs and they can wrench a decent standard of living out of their elder<u+2019>s hoary baby-boomer claws. teenagers are expected to flee the social media site like rats aboard a sinking over-60s cruise ship and seek pastures even more disorientating and obtuse. prospective new digital street-corners-outside-the-offie include, <u+2018>bluster<u+2019>, <u+2018>waffle<u+2019> and a messaging service where users communicate entirely using quotes from the 1988 film beetlejuice. s-bahn
snapchat shares plummet after grown-ups figure out how to use it
guest