your workday goes into extra time, and you lose on penalties. taurus 21 april <u+2013> 21 may 




you realise you<u+2019>ve never read a book that didn<u+2019>t have <u+2018>now a major motion picture<u+2019> on the cover. gemini may 21 <u+2013> june 20 




you didn<u+2019>t think that <u+2018>vomit head<u+2019> would stick as a nickname when they started calling you it 30 years ago, but here you are. cancer june 21 <u+2013> july 22 




you realise that you weren<u+2019>t the fastest sperm, you were just the only one that could be bothered. leo 




take two, they<u+2019>re small. virgo august 23 <u+2013> september 22 




you don<u+2019>t think trump<u+2019>s victory is all that bad, to be honest. you also shit yourself on a regular basis. libra 




did you know screaming into the wind burns 990 calories an hour? keep it up! scorpio october 23 <u+2013> november 21 




the bloody media sneak round your house late at night and mess the place up. you just tidied! sagittarius 




you mark all your emails as read, even if you haven<u+2019>t looked at them. capricorn 




you stop wearing your fitbit because it keeps catching on the pringles tin. aquarius january 20 <u+2013> february 18 




you make the argument that the us jeremy kyle show isn<u+2019>t as good as the uk version. pisces february 19 <u+2013> march 20 




dem bones dem bones need calcium, not alcohol! drink milk instead of beer at least once a week.
wwn<u+2019>s horoscopes
gerry mcbride