we do not like trampolining, say hedgehogs 10-11-16 




hedgehogs have confirmed they do not like trampolining and children should not make them do it. 




britain<u+2019>s hedgehogs attacked this year<u+2019>s john lewis christmas advert, featuring trampolining woodland animals, warning that children would now try to kidnap hedgehogs and force them to bounce up and down. 




hedgehog roy hobbs said: <u+201c>i accidentally wandered across a trampoline once. i hated it and i wasn<u+2019>t even bouncing up and down. it was just all wobbly underfoot. made me queasy. 




<u+201c>the hedgehog in this advert is not real. it is an unnatural, computer generated abomination.<u+201d> 




hobbs added: <u+201c>hedgehogs are very much ground-based creatures. we eat grubs and roll into a ball for protection. 




<u+201c>in our leisure time we watch stuff like bake off and orange is the new black . the most excitement we have is the occasional game of buckaroo!. 




<u+201c>anyway, keep your brats on a leash or we<u+2019>ll give them scabies.<u+201d> 




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we do not like trampolining, say hedgehogs
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