monday 21 november 2016 by davywavy and h short-sighted pervert disappointed not to see a film called <u+2018>fantastic breasts and where to find them<u+2019> 




a solitary cinema-goer was today loudly demanding a refund of <u+00a3>18 from the odeon leicester square, <u+2018>plus the money for the 3d glasses<u+2019>. 




myopic raincoat wearer and aggrieved onanist simon williams, 47, told the thump, <u+201c>i<u+2019>ve always had a keen interest in the, hem, hem, beauties of nature.<u+201d> 




<u+201c>from the pert cups of budding maidenhood to the more rrrrounded and queenly figure,<u+201d> he added, breathing rapidly and mopping sweat off his face. 




in answer to our next question, mr williams confirmed that he had never had a girlfriend, but didn<u+2019>t think this had been an impediment. 




<u+201c>au contraire,<u+201d> he confided, with what we assume was a roguish snort. 




<u+201c>sadly,<u+201d> williams went on, <u+201c>over the years, my hobby has led to a deterioration in my eyesight, as my old scoutmaster once warned me would happen. 




<u+201c>and this has led to me making a perfectly natural and disappointing mistake in the title of a film, for which i hold the odeon cinema chain entirely culpable.<u+201d> 




ordering a couple of bouncers to throw williams roughly out into the street, the odeon manager emphasised that he would not be welcome back in the cinema <u+201c>now or at any future time.<u+201d> 




<u+201c>and i<u+2019>ve warned the vue and the empire to keep an eye open for him as well,<u+201d> he added. get the best newsthump stories in your mailbox every friday, for free! there are currently witterings below - why not add your own?
short-sighted pervert disappointed not to see a film called <u+2018>fantastic breasts and where to find them<u+2019>
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