october 29, 2016 




a man with no diy experience has set aside around 15 minutes to assemble a 300 piece cabin bed this weekend. 




having glanced through the 36-page instruction booklet, 40-year-old nick ferguson plans to start the job at around 6pm on saturday and will definitely be done by quarter past if not slightly before. 




<u+2018>i<u+2019>ll simultaneously be making a vegetarian chilli,<u+2019> he said. <u+2018>and i<u+2019>m going to complete both tasks in a cool and fun way that involves my three young children.<u+2019> 




meanwhile mrs ferguson was hastily making plans to take the kids to her mothers. 




<u+2018>diy with nick is what you might call a journey,<u+2019> she said. 




<u+2018>one that begins relatively calmly, progresses to high strength alcohol and ends with him screaming rudyard kiplings <u+2018>if<u+2019> into the mirror at around 1.30am. 




<u+2018>usually with a serious injury to his face or hands.<u+2019> matt ward
man wildly optimistic ahead of flat pack assembly
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