october 31, 2016 




parent groups and petting zoos have been outraged by reports that the ex-education secretary may have abandoned boris johnson to his own devices in the foreign office. having already acquired a reputation for leaving children unattended, mr. gove has shown gross negligence by allowing a boris to play with flammable items such as matches, brexit negotiations and the nuclear launch codes. 




alexander boris de pfeffel johnson, age 52 <u+00be>, is best described as <u+2018>an awkward child<u+2019> and whose clumsy antics on zip wires and with women not his wife, are well-documented. staff at the foreign office attest to seeing mr. johnson wandering around in his pyjamas and in a confused state, asking: <u+2018>what<u+2019>s article 50? where<u+2019>s nanny? and who<u+2019>s up for some rumpy pumpy?<u+2019> 




while the law does allow for a man-child of boris<u+2019> age to be left unattended, the animals act 1971 makes mr. gove <u+2018>strictly liable<u+2019> for any damage caused. an nspcc spokesman said: <u+2018>you wouldn<u+2019>t leave a dog unattended for an extended period of time and the same applies to boris. a dog would quickly get destressed, start defecating and gnawing at his own balls<u+2026>and the same applies to boris<u+2019>. 




nspcc guidelines suggest that someone unable to find a hair brush in the morning, would struggle in an emergency or with interacting someone <u+2018>a bit ethnic<u+2019>. in the meantime mr. johnson is being sheltered in battersea dogs home until he can be properly house-trained; staff commented: <u+2018>boris isn<u+2019>t just for xmas or the referendum <u+2013> he<u+2019>s going to chewing up the furniture and uk trade agreements for years to come<u+2019>.   31st, 2016 by wrenfoe   wrenfoe   politics
gove criticised for leaving boris unattended
wrenfoe